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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 35        MIL Age: 62

I need to vent !!!!!!

frequent fry her - CrazyLive-InMIL, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - CrazyLive-InMIL, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 15-AUG-06
The things I do to avoid seeing my MIL:  I would rather go to my friend's house and spend all day and all night there with my children than stay at home and watch her cook one of her "home cooked" meals.  I can't bear to smell, hear or see the things that she does in my kitchen.  I would rather stay at work another hour or two later than normal just so I can get home and not see her that day.  She usually stays in her room in the evenings.  I would rather go window shopping after work than go home early to see MIL.  I miss my children and do end up arriving home in time to spend some quality time with them, but I really do not want to see her every day in my home.  I would rather lay in bed, dying of thirst for some water, than to go into the kitchen while she's in there doing her usual morning routine of coffee and breakfast.  I would rather wait in my room if I hear her moving around the house or walking through the hallway, than to have to walk past her and say hello.  I would rather stay in my room watching a movie on DVD, than to sit outside and make conversation with her.  And, while I am lucky that my MIL hasn't directly been vicious or extremely rude directly to my face, I do have to deal with my own feelings of living in the same house as her, and not being able to control anything that ends up in my guest bathroom or my kitchen.

        Signed - I Would Rather MIL Not Live With ME!
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frequent fry her - CrazyLive-InMIL, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - CrazyLive-InMIL, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 15-AUG-06
My MIL recently came back from her vacation from us.  She went to her "vacation" home for 3 1/2 months.  I am still trying to adjust to having her around again, since she lives with us.  It's like having a 3rd child; one who is permanently 15 years old, instead of 62.  First, I have to get used to her getting into my space again.  I am territorial and like my kitchen space to be a certain way.  This includes keeping my good knives cleaned and put back where they belong, using certain rags for certain uses, and not leaving the sponge soaking in dirty dish water.  The usual anal little things that some of us have.  Second, for one person she accumulates all kinds of groceries, pantry food items, cooking ingredients, freezer food, etc.  So much so that it took over a month to finally eat up or get rid of her various food items after she left to go on vacation.  To this day, there is still a whole shelf of canned and dried goods piled in my pantry.  I came home the other day after she had been shopping in the local imported food market to find over 12 containers of instant noodle soup, a huge bag of some mysterious item tied tightly in a large yellow plastic bag, and more canned cookies and crackers.  Every time I have to open the pantry door, something of hers fall out.  I finally realized that instead of watching what I buy and where I put things, I should try the reverse and just start stocking up on things that I could use so that she would have no room to store any of her things.  She comes along and buys too much of everything, and then shoves everything into the space that I could have used for something of mine.  I've already reorganized a lot of my bakeware and pantry goods to accommodate giving her a whole shelf.  Even that isn't enough, because now she's starting to slip things in on the other shelves again, and she's only been back for less than a month!  I sometimes wonder if I might be stressing too much about these little things, but for all my attempts at trying to not hurt her feelings (as she's been known to over-dramatize a situation and overreact to some things), I feel as though my efforts are in vain.  The courtesy isn't reciprocated, even though it is, after all, my house that she's living in.  And that, to me, is frustrating more than anything else.  On a bad day I start thinking about kicking her out along with DH, just because he remains ever-attentive to her feelings but expects me to accommodate her because she's supposedly too old to change her ways, even though she's the one living with us, and not the other way around!

        Signed - Ever Resigned and Hopeless
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frequent fry her - CrazyLive-InMIL, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - CrazyLive-InMIL, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 28-AUG-06
Gross things that MIL does in my home:  I was brought up a certain way, and was naïve enough to think that most other people think the same way about basic, personal hygiene.  Here are just a few ways my MIL has broken that belief.  She uses any toothbrush that might be in the toothbrush holder.  It doesn't matter to her if it looks used and that someone else might be using it.  I've had to warn DH of her bad habit, and fortunately he agrees and keeps his toothbrush away from the guest bath.  She brushes her hair with her comb or brush at my kitchen island, where we eat.  Then she leaves her comb or brush laying there next to her while she's eating.  She uses my rags in the bathroom sometimes to wipe my kitchen counter.  She uses any bath towel that might be accessible and in her reach.  She's bought dozens of towels to send back to her relatives overseas, but she only has one with her in my home.  So, if I leave a towel that I used for my kids hanging on the towel rack in the guest bath, she will use it the next time she showers.  The same goes for her relatives who stay for the weekend in my home.  They help themselves to whatever towel they can find.  I used to offer them a clean towel, but since they're not welcomed guests in my home, I stopped that to let them fend for themselves.  I make sure to hide my towels before they arrive.  She accumulates used paper towels in the kitchen into one big pile of used paper towels, which she then uses to wipe down my kitchen counters.  It wouldn't be so bad, but I've seen her wipe her mouth and her nose and add that towel to the pile.  The same pile of paper towels will serve as dual use; sometimes the floor gets wiped, too, and same said pile still gets used to wipe down the counters.  If there's food stuck to the said pile of paper towels, that food also gets smeared all over the counters.  She uses my kitchen knives a lot.  Of course, I do not expect her to have her own set of knives in my kitchen, although I'm almost ready to buy her a cheap set just so she'll stay away from my good knives.  This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't leave food stuck on the knives when she returns them to where they belong in the knife block.

        Signed - Issues With MIL Just Keep Coming And Coming
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - CrazyLive-InMIL, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - CrazyLive-InMIL, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 29-AUG-06
Prologue to my stories:  I am so tired.  My MIL has been living with us for over a year and a half.  She decided to retire from her job and move in with us as soon as we bought our first home.  The rationale for her decision is that she's too old to work (she was 60 at the time) and wants to help us take care of the kids.  Now she's 62 and she comes and goes as she pleases.  She doesn't help us care for the kids.  We are a single income family (I work while DH stays at home with the kids).  DH is burdened not just with caring for 2 kids, but also with her daily needs, which include running errands, driving her to see her relatives who live 2 hours away, and taking her to her doctor, dental and hair appointments.  DH has one sibling, an older sister, who is not on speaking terms with the family.  MIL is broke and has no savings of any kind.  She only has her pension and social security, which she squanders on food she doesn't eat and on relatives who need to borrow money.  She was able to buy an old home in her homeland with some money that she received from selling a home she co-owned with her estranged DD and SIL.  But after only spending a scant 3 1/2 months there, she's back to stay for another agonizingly long 6-7 months.  She claims that she's trying to "break herself" into living in her homeland again.  I think that she's using her room in my home as her "summer home"; good only to visit her mountains of junk and take up space in my small home.

        Signed - I Am So Tired
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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