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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Fed Up DIL
Age: 26    MIL Age: 55

Reaching Out To All Fellow Sufferers!

I don't know who else to talk to about this.  I didn't ever think I was one for b*tching, but I don't think I can be at peace around my MIL.  Unlike most other couples, I am unfortunate enough to have to live with her under the same roof.  In my country, that is pretty much the norm with about 85% of the couples, so don't tag my DH as a loser for it.  My FIL works out of town, and is only around on the weekends.  At the end of 6 months of my marriage, I have come to learn one thing, my MIL is a sugar coated pill.  I lost my mother 3 years ago, and it still hurts.  Whenever my MIL does anything that has the possibility to upset - giving me instructions on how to cook, how to keep my room clean, how to dress, whom to stay in touch with, what to say to people - she always maintains that the only reason she does it is so that I don't feel my mother's loss so keenly.

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL/Posted: 31-AUG-13
Every time I try to cook something new, if DH appreciates it, she always makes it a point to ask me the detailed recipe.  Not once has she ever made anything herself, but it just gives her enough info to brag in front of others.  Of course, she also always makes it a point to dismiss it all as unhealthy and junk food, which her son should avoid.

Every single day, I wake up early and prepare lunch.  When I come back from work, dinner, too, is my responsibility.  She may help, once in a while, if she isn't busy checking her emails, or reading, or working, or chatting with her relatives.

Whenever my DH asks why I am the one doing everything, she says she "allows" me to, so that I don't feel like it isn't my home.  Not only does this always remind me that it isn't my home, it's the most ingenious way of getting out of doing any work.

        Signed - Lazy but Ingenious MIL
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL/Posted: 10-JUN-10
Every single time we have to go out to a social event (wedding, engagement, dinner, etc.), MIL insists on walking into my bedroom and checking what I intend to wear.  She does not just look at the outfit.  Even accessories are scanned for approval.  The worst of it was on a recent trip.  We were getting dressed for a morning event.  DH couldn't make it because he had some work commitments.  When I came out of the room, ready to go, MIL expressed utter amazement.  It was not because I looked good.  It was, as she told me, because I wasn't dressed up enough.  Not only did she voice it out loud in front of 15 other members of the family, she even asked a couple of older ladies to verify whether or not I was OK.  She then proceeded to quickly remove a delicate pearl necklace that I was wearing and replace it with a necklace of 6 strands of big, fake pearls.  I looked like a bedecked cow that was ready for sacrifice.  All of this despite being told multiple times, by my DH, to leave me alone.  She always says that a mother is entitled to instruct her DD whenever she makes mistakes.  And, she says that she only does it because of her love for me.  There's no way in he!! I can refute that and still be nice.

        Signed - There's No Way In He!! I Can Refute That And Still Be Nice
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 8-JUN-10
My DH usually wears full length pajamas to bed.  The other day, while we were out shopping, we picked up a really smart shorts and t-shirt bedtime set in soft cotton, because the weather has been rather hot.  When DH wore it last night, his mother was quick to dismiss it.  She said that he looked nice, but more like a teenager.  She prefers something more suited to his age (27).  We both ignored her, because we didn't want yet another argument.  But, seriously, is it OK for her to decide what kind of pajamas he wears?  Not only does she often go out and buy him pajamas, she gets irritated if he buys his own.  The same goes for underwear, too.

        Signed - His Mother Was Quick To Dismiss It
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JUN-10
DH and I had gone on a recent trip to London to attend a family wedding.  Since I was meeting a large number of people, for the first time after the wedding, I had bought little presents for everyone.  For his cousin's sister, I had picked up a traditional door hanging with elephants and lotuses.  It symbolizes prosperity and happiness.  After hunting high and low, I had also bought her a traditional pair of anklets to wear on the wedding day.  When we got there, MIL coolly picked up the gifts and showed them all around, saying it was better to show them a few days in advance, because there would be just too much to do on the last day.  Obviously, when I handed the gifts to the bride, she just thought I was piggy backing on my MIL's kindness and generosity.

        Signed - Gift Grabber
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JUN-10
The organization that my DH works for recently asked him to work for them in Asia for 6 months.  When we announced this at dinner, without even checking on tentative dates or our own plans, my MIL said that she would join us there for a long vacation.  She may even be there around our first wedding anniversary.  Not only that, but since then she has invited every Tom, Dick and Harry within her circle of friends and family to plan a trip to our destination, "Since the kids will be there to take care of everything."

        Signed - MIL Said That She Would Join Us
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - FedUpDIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Fed Up DIL, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-JUN-10
Every time my MIL sees anyone with a small baby, she hints that I am aging.  She reminds me that I better think of having a baby soon, or it may be too late, after all.  Let's not forget about the fact that it has just been 6 months since my wedding, and I am 27.

        Signed - Baby Boom Time
        ( responses to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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Women in the New Midlife

Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S

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