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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 30        MIL Age: Old

frequent fry her - GodMILla Frequent Fry Her TM. - GodMILla,/Posted: 6-FEB-07
I hate my MIL.  While we were having the Christmas dinner, referenced in the above FFH story (cooked atop illegally rigged propane gas stove), which, by the way, consisted of a horrible array of stir fried vegetables (FOR CHRISTMAS!!!  FOR GOD'S SAKE - COULDN'T YOU JUST ORDER A HONEY BAKED HAM?!?!).  DH and I both mentioned how stressed we were at work.  DH works practically 24/7 in a new entrepreneurial venture, and I work long days and oftentimes don't get home until eight or nine in the evening.  Between that and our charitable activities (and actually trying to find some time to be with one another), we decided that it was time to hire somebody to help us clean the house.  Sure, it's a little pricey, but we really value our sanity and our time with one another, and we were both agreeable to it.  So, when this popped up over dinner, MIL (who is as cheap as polyester underwear, let me tell you) very INDIGNANTLY said to me, "It's JUST the two of you, can it possibly be THAT difficult to clean up after my son?"  OH MY GOD!!!  I just about blew a gasket.  My whole life's purpose is not to clean up after her son.  And, BTW, he agrees.  Thankfully, DH stood up for me and announced to his parents that he had actually had a maid prior to getting married FIVE YEARS ago (he never admitted this to his mom because he knew that her reaction would be that he was wasting money on things that he should be able to handle himself).  What a b!tch.

        Signed - My Whole Life's Purpose Is Not To Clean Up After Her Son
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frequent fry her - godmilla, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - godmilla, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 31-JUL-06
Reasons why my children will never be left in the care of my MIL and FIL if my DH and I are killed simultaneously in a freak accident.  First, they frequently leave all of their doors unlocked to the world, even when they are not at home. One time my DH and I arrived at MIL and FIL's house to find nobody home, but the side door was completely unlocked.  There is a set of keys marked "front door, side door, garage" on a hook RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR in the garage, so even if a thief, rapist, kidnapper (insert criminal here) didn't want to commit a crime while MIL and FIL were out, they could let themselves in later.  Second, MIL and FIL frequently burn leaves and compost in unattended piles in their large "naturally landscaped" backyard (i.e., lots of wild grasses, small trees and other things that could serve as tinder).  Did I mention that our state has a burning ban because of dry conditions and fire hazards?  HELLO.  Have they seen the wildfires in California lately?  So, not only do they NOT watch over the fires they start, but they do it in complete and utter disregard of the law.  It took my suggesting that the neighbors may call the authorities if their houses burned down for them to put out the fires one time.  Third, my DH mentioned that as a child he was oftentimes whipped by MIL until blood was drawn, as a form of punishment.  Enough said.  Fourth, guilt tripping and emotional manipulation on MIL's part.  Worse than whipping, if you ask me.  You can always cover up physical scars.  Fifth, MIL is unforgivably cheap.  DH and I have been together for three years now, and I can count the number of gifts that she has given me on my right thumb.  That's right.  Three birthdays, three Christmas holidays, a wedding, several anniversaries, and the only thing that she has given me was a bottle of scented body lotion.  And, it wasn't even purchased with me in mind.  I brought dinner for an entire family of six and a home baked cake to MIL's house one year during the holidays because my DH mentioned that his mother was "feeling a little holiday stress".  I cooked and brought over the goodies ON THE VERY DAY THAT I HAD RETURNED FROM VACATION with my own extended family.  MIL gave me the body lotion as a clear "afterthought".  She went into her bedroom and we all heard her rummaging around her bathroom cabinets.  She came out with the bottle of body lotion, unwrapped.  There was not even a little bit of ribbon or a tag with my name on it.  It was hideously embarrassing, and I would have preferred that she not give me anything.  So there you have it.  My kids cannot go to the ILs if my DH and I pass away simultaneously because they run the risk of being assaulted by criminals in their own homes, burned alive, beaten, deprived of the most minimal of material pleasures, and then guilt tripped into believing that it is all their own fault.

        Signed - Kids Cannot Go
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frequent fry her - godmilla, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - godmilla, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 31-JUL-06
My MIL is NOT AT ALL sophisticated!  We had finally gotten to the point in wedding planning where DH and I had to discuss MIL's attire for our formal ballroom wedding ceremony and reception.  We were planning a black tie wedding, and my own mother had a Chinese dress custom made for the event in Hong Kong.  When I mentioned what my mother was going to wear, MIL very rudely said, in essence, that she didn't think that Chinese dresses were appropriate for women of my mother's age because of their body shape!  What an awful thing for her to say about my mom's choice of wedding day attire!  I personally think that my mom looks great in the dress.  MIL was going back to her native country for vacation the following week, so I suggested that perhaps she could wear traditional formal dress of that country to the wedding.  MIL's eyes actually lit up and when she said, "Oh great!  I can buy a sarong!"  She was serious.  She actually had NO IDEA that it would be completely inappropriate for a black tie wedding.  Umm.  Whose taste should be questioned NOW???  I had to get my DH to convince her not to do it.

        Signed - That's Sarong Idea
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frequent fry her - godmilla, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - godmilla, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 29-AUG-06
My sister, who was my MOH, was kind enough to take time out of her busy schedule as an OB nurse to throw me a shower on her limited budget.  Even though my sister included her e-mail and phone number on the invite for RSVP, MIL never responded!  Worse yet, she never returned my sister's phone calls asking whether she would be at the shower.  Of course, she showed up - without a gift!  What a winner!

        Signed - DIL of GodMILla
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frequent fry her - GodMILla, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - GodMILla, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 6-FEB-07
My MIL and FIL continue to be idiots.  MIL and FIL have a gas stove in their kitchen.  Several other appliances in their home are also powered by gas.  Several months ago MIL detected a gas leak, which is a good thing.  It took the local gas company literally several months to come and fix the leak.  In the meantime, FIL was also trying to fix the leak on his own.  They got tired of making meals in their microwave or eating out after several weeks.  So, what do they decide to do, in all of their brilliance?  Instead of something practical (i.e., buying a small electric hot plate or using an outdoor barbecue grill), they rigged up a gas stove in their kitchen.  They found an OUTDATED propane gas tank in the back of a barn located on their property, one without the standard warnings and safety valves that you find nowadays.  Also, it is illegal to refill this type.  The tank was actually fairly large, bigger than the ones you find on a barbecue grill.  They put this rusty old propane tank INSIDE their kitchen.  They put a wire "ring" stand over it.  They placed a WOK on the ring stand.  They kept having to re-light the propane tank since the gas kept "going out" on them.  And they cooked CHRISTMAS DINNER on that rigged contraption while the smoke alarms kept going off.  CAN WE SAY POTENTIAL EXPLOSION HAZARD???!!!  Any idiot can tell you that it is DANGEROUS to have propane tanks inside the house, much less rusty old ones with no safety valves.  Not only can it explode, but you can get carbon monoxide poisoning from this!  DH assured me that his engineer father "knew what he was doing", but I am not so sure.  I should have called the fire department on them.  They just simply have no respect for safety, and I absolutely will not leave my children alone in their care.

        Signed - DIL of GodMILla
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