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Frequent Fry HerTM
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IDrinkaRumcosIneedit
Age: 32       MIL Age: 58

Stay-at-home Mommy of 1 precious little girl!

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 1-AUG-07
My 4-year-old DD has been diagnosed with Autism and has a speech delay.  We're not sure if the speech delay is related to the Autism, or is a separate issue.  However, she's been gaining a larger vocabulary and is actually saying more 2 word sentences.  But, the other day she said her first 3 word sentence!  "Mommy car bye-bye."  We celebrated.  Last night, DH called his mom and told her about the sentence.  He also let her know that DH was now sleeping in her "big girl bed".  She's no longer in a toddler bed, but in a full sized bed.  MIL went off on a tangent about how she's happy that DD is talking, but it's all my fault because I let DD watch TV all day (I know what she said because DH had her on speaker phone)!  I gave my husband a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot look, and had to count to 100 or I'd have said some things into the phone.  After he got off the phone, I laid into him about it.  DD watches, on the average, about 4 hours total per day.  During most of those hours she is basically playing while the TV is on for background noise.

        Signed - I Want To See Her Face When I Tell Her This. Hehehehehe
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 5-JUL-07
I've decided not to do a huge birthday party for my DD.  No one but my family actually appreciated the birthday parties.  So, I have decided to do a small dinner party with just DH, DD, my parents, my ILs and me.  I put down 5:00 PM as the time I would like everyone over to the house so we could do some talking, and then sit down at around 5:30 PM to eat.  I decided to work around DD's eating schedule, silly me.  The ILs live 2 hours south of where we live.  MIL called the house yesterday and told DH that she and FIL couldn't make it up to our house until 6 PM because of "traffic".  At that time in the afternoon, all the traffic is going south to where they live (they'd have to come North to visit, and there is little to no traffic going north at the time they'd be coming).  I know I told DH about the dinner party being at 5 PM.  I also warned him that he might either leave work early or take the day off to ensure that he'd be home in time for the party.  So, why does he listen to his mother and not me when the time of the party is mentioned?  While on the phone with his mother, he started to yell at me about the time and how it's inappropriate because he'd never be able to get home on time.  I told him to get off the phone and then we'd discuss it.  DH and MIL both disgust me.

        Signed - If Left It To DH, There Would Have Been Nothing At All
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 24-APR-07
MIL called my DH late last month and told him that SIL#2's birthday was coming up.  He said, "So?"  His mother was surprised.  He told her, "No one ever acknowledges DW's birthday, why should we acknowledge any one else's?"  She got quiet and sheepishly said, "Oh."  That was it.  Just, "Oh."

        Signed - Been Married To DH For Almost 5 Years, How Hard Is It To Remember My Birthday?
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 19-MAR-07
This year I have decided to let my DH remember the birthdays of his family, and I will deal with mine.  So far, no one has noticed, or, if they have, they haven't said anything to me or him (as of yet).  Why am I doing this?  Because last year I was lectured by my MIL about how it was "stupid" and "silly" to write everyone's birthday on the calendar just so that we can remember them (that was after both DH - HER DS -and I both pressed her to remember our DD's birthday, and she couldn't).  Anyway, I'm just waiting for MIL's birthday to come around and nothing will be sent out!  I think I'll wait until I can see her personally to tell her that I didn't write down her birthday in my calendar because I decided it was "stupid" and "silly" to do that, because I shouldn't have to remember everyone's birthday.

        Signed - I Want To See Her Face When I Tell Her This.  He, he, he, he.
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 7-OCT-06
It came to a head when DH, DD and I went to my FIL's birthday 2 Saturdays ago.  I always felt that I was put on display with how I watch over my DD at my IL's house.  The house is in the middle of nowhere.  There is a pond in the back part of the large yard, and my DD has been known to run around in that area.  The stairs on the deck are VERY steep and hard for an adult to navigate, let alone a 3-year-old child, etc.  I had told everyone that I was upset that the month before our DD had gotten hurt by a statue of my DH's, and that my DH was more upset by the statue being broken than our DD needing a stitch in her forehead.  BIL#1 said, "That's normal.  That's my reaction whenever one of my kids breaks something of mine."  Really?  DD has broken quite a few things of my mother's, but the first words out of her mouth are "Is my GD all right?"  NOT, "You owe me $$$ for what GD has broken!"  I was put on display that night.  Our DD is needing to enter a preschool setting (think actual real school, NOT daycare).  All my ILs knew that and I know they were watching DD for whatever secret item which made her "different" from the other GDs.  One the way home, I had to drive (DH had 3 beers and was mad that I made him come home).  He could have stayed, but he didn't want to without me or DD.  We argued all the way home.  During the rest of the weekend I ranted, raved and quoted our state's divorce law to him.  I think it finally sunk in that I was ticked off by his family's attitude and behavior towards me and DD.  He talked to his mother the following Tuesday.  He laid down the law, so-to-speak.  He said that the next time we're invited down for a celebration of sorts, we're doing it in a restaurant so we'd only be there for 2 hours tops, and we can leave ASAP.  We aren't coming to their house anymore (for at least 2 or 3 months) because I was sick and tired of them not coming up to visit us.  They expect us to travel 2 hours to their house, with a 3-year-old, AND they expect us to pack to stay the entire weekend.  I have to be the one to remember clothing, my DH's breathing machine, etc.  DH told her that I didn't appreciate BIL#1 and SIL#1's attitude about me being a bad mother because I hover over my child, making sure that she doesn't crack her head open on steep stairs, in the nighttime, with no lights on on the deck.  Last evening DH came home and said that he had a conversation with BIL#2.  It seems that MIL talked to BIL#1 and then BIL#1 called BIL#2 and said, "(Hubby's name) gave mom a hard time and that (my name) didn't like coming down there."  HOWEVER, BIL#2 agreed with me that DD and I were both on display that night, and he had no reason why his own mother and father wouldn't come to visit our house, especially since they have an OPEN INVITATION to do so.  GAAAAAAAH!  At least they understand.  I think.  I hope!

        Signed - It Came To A Head
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 30-AUG-06
Talk about history repeating itself!  However, it wasn't my MIL who ignored my DD at her 3rd birthday party, it was my FIL.  Background:  My DD loves to be read to.  She'll grab a book, and the first person she sees will be the one she wants to read to her.  Back to story:  My DD handed my FIL a book to read to her.  As she was trying to climb his lap, he pushed her away and called to his 1 1/2 year GC to come over to him so that he could read to her.  I was livid!  However, I didn't want to start screaming in the middle of my DD's birthday party.  Was I in the right, or should I have started a fight?

        Signed - Confused And The Rum Is Almost Gone!
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 28-JUL-06
SIL#1 decided to hold an in-home kitchen merchandise party.  The day she picked was my DD's birthday.  I left a message on her answering machine letting her know that I couldn't make it and why.  Haven't heard back from her or BIL#1, but it's only been a few hours.  Anyway, I went out to the movies while DH watched the house and our DD.  When I come back, he told me that he talked to his mom.  His mother was COMPLETELY CLUELESS about why I wouldn't be going to the party.  DH had to tell her when DD's birthday was.  DD will be 3.  She said that no one had to write every single birthday on the calendar (like I do).  However, when SIL#1's birthday card was late, she called and reamed me out.

        Signed - Aargh! Who Cares About DD's Birthday? Obviously Not MIL!
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 3-FEB-06
How about this for a new one?  My MIL has decided, for DH and me, that we should not have any more children because our DD would be sooooo devastated at having to share us with another child, and it would hurt her emotionally!

        Signed - Now I Want Another Baby Just To Tick Her Off!
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 17-JAN-06
We celebrated our DD's 2nd birthday during the summer.  We invited family and friends.  Because of the other children at the party, my DD was running around like a normal 2 year old.  MIL was out on the deck with DH helping him cook.  She never looked at my DD.  When her 2 other grandkids showed up, she completely ignored my DD in favor of these 2 brats!

        Signed - My DD Got Ignored By MIL - On Her OWN Birthday
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 4-DEC-05
I left DH alone with DD for 1 hour.  I had to go out and get cat food.   There was none, and I wasn't about to let the kitties starve until the next day.  And, besides, we had no milk or eggs.  Anyway, when I got home, DD hugged me and she smelled a little off.  I thought that she had peed through her diaper and had gotten her pjs wet.  According to DH, she drank pureed baby bananas out of the jar and she had gotten some on her.  But, he said that I shouldn't worry, he had cleaned her up.  Then, I got the story out of him.  While he sat on his butt playing his game system, DD had pushed the baby gate down and walked up the stairs.  As the door to the basement area was open, this is where it's my fault, she just continued up and onto the main floor of our townhouse.  She then found a *plastic bag* with the glass jar of baby bananas.  She grabbed said jar and came back down the stairs.  She handed the jar to DH.  He put it down.  She handed the jar to DH AGAIN.  He opened up the jar and tried to feed her bananas with his finger, but she ended up biting him.  He forgot that there was a huuuuuuge box of plastic-ware downstairs, AND he was too lazy to go up the stairs and grab a spoon.  So, he let her drink the bananas out of the glass jar.  She bites all glasses that are not sippy cups, as she drinks out of cups/jars/etc.  I was very upset.  Even if the door at the top of the stairs WAS closed, he should have followed her to make sure that she didn't fall down the stairs at any time of her journey.  Now, it gets even better:  Two days later I called MIL.  DH hadn't understood why I was so angry about him not really watching DD, so I called MIL and asked her to talk to him.  She told me that she was outraged by her son's indifference to her GC, and that she would "definitely be calling him later on that day to discuss this issue with him".  When DH got home, I asked him if he had talked to anyone.  He said, "Yeah, I talked to my friends."  Then, I asked if he talked to anyone related to him.  He said, "No."  Later on that evening he called his mother.  She said, "Yeah, I told your wife that I'd talk to you, but I don't think that I should make waves in your marriage."  WTF???  Excuse me????  She can criticize my (lack) of house cleaning skills and insult me in front of my mother, but she can't bring herself to chew her OWN SON out about his indifference to his child!?!?!?!?!  What is wrong with this picture?  Next time DH wants to go visit his family, he can go by himself.  He will not be bringing me, nor will he be bringing DD.  And, if he tries to pull the crap, "If I can't take DD to see my parents, you're not allowed to take her to your parents' house," I swear, I'll call the first divorce lawyer I find in the phone book.

        Signed - Now I Really Don't Care What My MIL Thinks Of Me - Freedom At Last!!!!!
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frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 29-JUN-05
Where do I begin?  Oh!  I know!  How about this one!?  My DH and I got married in 2002.  Before and during our engagement, my MIL was a nice woman who thought that I was great because we were "so much alike".  We were trying to come up with our china pattern.  I had picked out a china pattern when I was about 10 years old.  It's a very nice popular pattern.  MIL decided that it wasn't very "professional" looking, because, don't you know, my DH and I were going to be "networking" and the like, and he'd be bringing home his bosses and their bosses and their boss's bosses for dinner parties and the like.  So, MIL PICKED OUT THE CHINA PATTERN FOR US.  At the time, DH agreed to it.  It was a very nice pattern, but not one that I liked completely.  However, I do hate conflict, and so I said nothing.  I went along with it.  For Mother's Day 2004, I got 4 place settings of my pattern because I told DH that I didn't want to invite friends over (not bosses or anyone like that) for a dinner party because that meant that I'd have to use the dishes that HIS MOTHER picked out, which were not the ones I wanted.  He was actually shocked that I didn't like our china (even though I had mentioned it to him on several occasions - including the time that we placed it on our gift registry)!

        Signed - Pass Me The Rum, Please!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 1-JUN-05
My MIL has decided, for whatever reason, to turn my DD into the invalid of the family.  I have no clue as to why.  This woman never has anything nice to say about my DD (what caring, loving grandmother would constantly insult, berate, and put down a child who's NOT EVEN 2 YEARS OLD YET!?).  Anyway, onto my story.  I still think that it has to do with the fact that I absolutely REFUSE to cut my DD's hair.  My DD has had 2 hearing tests (and a third one will be scheduled in July) because my MIL insists that she is deaf.  She is not.  The doctor said, "She's much improved and happy, and her hearing's normal.  Let your MIL know that, please."  So, we told her that DD's hearing was fine.  Then, at GD #1's birthday about a week and a half ago, she, not knowing that I was behind her, whispered to my DH that she that thinks my DD is pigeon toed!  I have no clue why - she walks perfectly normal to me.  I talked it over with her pediatrician and I had him check her toes and legs.  His attitude was, "Your MIL needs to get a new hobby."  I just don't understand why she insists on insulting my child!  What is wrong with her?

        Signed - My Child Will Not Be The Invalid Of The Family!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 5-MAR-05
This is the conclusion of the Joint Christmas Present story.  DH told his mom that I really didn't want a gift card from a home improvement center.  However, his mother had already bought a gift card from that store and it was for $200.  She then went out and bought what I originally wanted - a gift card from a woman's clothing store.  She had overspent her Christmas present money on us by $50, so when we came down to visit on Christmas Eve, she made DH pony up the $50 because of her own stupidity!

        Signed - How Cheap Can One Get?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted: 13-JAN-05
I just found out that my DH and I are getting a JOINT Christmas present this year!  That wouldn't be so bad if it was a good joint Christmas present (tickets to a cruise in the Bahamas or something).  However, the joint Christmas present is a gift card to a home improvement center!  WTF???  I specifically told my MIL that DH wanted a gift card to that store, as we had our eye on some new carpeting that they sell.  She asked me what I wanted, and I told her gift cards to either a few specific clothing stores (I need new clothing because I've lost some weight) and she asked if another store was okay.  I said, "Sure."  Now, I'm getting a gift card to the home improvement store to share with DH??  THIS FROM THE WOMAN WHO HAS COMPLAINED FOR THE PAST YEAR THAT HER DS#3 AND HIS WIFE GOT HER A JOINT GIFT CARD TO A RESTAURANT LAST YEAR???  I reamed my DH a new one for half an hour last night.  And, my DH responded with, "Well, that's what you wanted last year!"  Yes, but now I've gotten my new pantry and the new kitchen lighting that I wanted LAST YEAR.  I don't need anything else from that store!

        Signed - I Want My Own Christmas Present, Dagnabbit!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 1 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 5-JAN-05
While planning the reception for our wedding, I let it be known to both my DF and my FMIL that not only were my parents not big drinkers, but their friends (and my friends) were not big drinkers either, so we were only going to have 2 carafes of wine (one red and one white) on each table at our reception.  You would have thought that I said that my family and friends each had 3 heads and ate live babies for breakfast!  How could my parents "embarrass" my FMIL and her family like that?  And, my DF told me that all of his friends liked to drink (which I was aware of, plus I knew for a fact that they liked to get drunk).  So, my MIL took it upon herself to PAY for an open bar - more wine, beer and champagne.  However, the joke was on her.  The place where we had our reception ran out of wine for about 1/2 an hour, and while the manager of the place ran out to get more, they opened up champagne bottles and served that - without her permission!  Then, they charged her way more than she was expecting for "their mistake" (her words).  Also, DH's "friends" got unbelievably drunk at the wedding (one was so drunk that he was showing off a certain body part to anyone he could) .  I was vindicated when I later told my MIL what had happened and she apologized profusely for their behavior and said, "Yes, maybe having an open bar was going a little too far."

        Signed - RumRumRum!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 5-JAN-05
I hate going to the ILs for any reason, especially when BIL#1 and BIL#2 are going to be there.  DH is a large man, 5'10" and 400 pounds.  I have been trying to get him to lose weight, and he always tells me that he'll "do it later".  Whenever the BILs are with DH, they always make a comment about DH's weight and size.  Mind you, DH has ALWAYS been heavy!  Actually, at one point in his life (way before he met me) DH was actually pushing 500 pounds!  Even his mother will get into the act about his weight.  And, then they talk to me in asides, as if I was the one responsible for his weight!  "Listen, MIL, I know that he hasn't lost any weight since we got married a little over 2 years ago.  However, he also HAS NOT GAINED any more weight!  Can't you be happy with anything about my DH (whom my MIL claims is her "favorite" son)????

        Signed - Fed Up With ILs

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 3 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JAN-05
While growing up with my many 1st cousins and our grandparents, there was always a rule about how, if any presents/gifts/toys were left at the respective GPs' houses, no one was allowed to play with said present/gift/toy without the express permission of the child to whom it belonged.  My mother, father and GPs all thought (and my parents still do) that it was common courtesy, for no one wants someone else playing with your items.  Well, my MIL doesn't believe in that.  I guess that she believes in "communal toys" or something like that.  Let me start with saying that I had my DD in July, 2003.  In December 2003, MIL and FIL bought my DD a brand new and very expensive wooden rocking horse.  It's a beautiful rocking horse.  However, we couldn't fit it in our truck to bring it home after Christmas 2003, so we asked DH's parents to keep it at their house so that it could be a special toy which DD could play with when she visited grandma and grandpa.  Afterwards, I found out that MIL's GD#1 has been playing with DD's rocking horse WITHOUT asking me first!  I feel that they have basically degraded the meaning of the gift to my DD by allowing it to be used by this germ-ridden child (she's had foot and mouth disease, and every time I see this GD#1, she's always got a cold).  And, the only reason that I found out about GD#1 playing with DD's rocking horse was because MIL said, "GD#1 is having so much fun with your DD's rocking horse!" and then she giggled, like it was a joke.  I was absolutely livid!  Come this Christmas time, when we have to visit (because starting next year, we're not leaving our house for Christmas Day), I'm taking the rocking horse with us, even if I have to strap my DH to the roof of his SUV.  And, if MIL asks me why I'm taking it, I'll let her know that I feel that DD should have *HER* rocking horse at her own home, where she can play with it without having to wait and stand in line and look pointedly at GD#1.

        Signed - That Horse Is My DD's By Gum It!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 4 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-JAN-05
DH and I got married in the summer of 2002.  By the time Thanksgiving rolled around that same year, I announced to my parents and my ILs that I was pregnant.  My parents were sooo excited!  From the way that my dad reacted, you'd think I was the first woman to ever have a baby (*grin*).  My ILs were all in a state of shock that I got pregnant so quickly.  About a month after my announcement, DH and I were visiting MIL and FIL.  MIL looked at us and said that BIL#1 was mad because DH got me pregnant so quickly.  BIL#1 and his wife, SIL#1, were married for 5 years before the birth of their DD, and they had tried for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant.  Then, MIL told us that SIL#1 thought that we were insane for having a baby so quickly and early in our marriage, as she and BIL#1 had so many problems during the first 2 years of marriage.  As if DH and BIL#1 are anything alike in personality!  And, gee, thanks for actually being excited for us!  Now, please keep in mind that MIL raised three sons (DH, BIL#1 and BIL#2).  BIL#1 and his wife had a DD.  Now that MIL had her GD, she was hoping that I'd be the one to have the GS.  Every time she saw me, she'd say, "How's my grandson doing?!" or, "Be extra special careful with my GS."  It got to the point where I never wanted to be near my MIL because, and I told this to my DH, "What if I had a DD?  She's so obsessed with a GS, what if I give her another GD?  Will she not love our DD at all?"  Fortunately, DH stood up and told his mother to not refer to the baby as a GS anymore.  Unfortunately, during the 5th month sonogram, which can determine the sex of the baby, our baby's legs were crossed, so the tech didn't want to guess at the sex.  The baby was a DD, and my MIL is comparing my DD to GD#1.  GRRRR - but that's another post in and of itself.

        Signed - MIL Has Driven Me To Drink

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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