IDrinkaRumcosIneedit
Age: 32 MIL Age: 58
Stay-at-home Mommy of 1 precious little girl!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
1-AUG-07
My 4-year-old DD has been diagnosed with Autism and
has a speech delay. We're not sure if the speech delay is related
to the Autism, or is a separate issue. However, she's been gaining
a larger vocabulary and is actually saying more 2 word sentences.
But, the other day she said her first 3 word sentence! "Mommy
car bye-bye." We celebrated. Last night, DH called
his mom and told her about the sentence. He also let her know
that DH was now sleeping in her "big girl bed". She's
no longer in a toddler bed, but in a full sized bed. MIL went
off on a tangent about how she's happy that DD is talking, but it's
all my fault because I let DD watch TV all day (I know what she said
because DH had her on speaker phone)! I gave my husband a Whiskey
Tango Foxtrot look, and had to count to 100 or I'd have said some
things into the phone. After he got off the phone, I laid into
him about it. DD watches, on the average, about 4 hours total
per day. During most of those hours she is basically playing
while the TV is on for background noise.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
5-JUL-07
I've decided not to do a huge birthday party for my
DD. No one but my family actually appreciated the birthday parties.
So, I have decided to do a small dinner party with just DH, DD, my
parents, my ILs and me. I put down 5:00 PM as the time I would
like everyone over to the house so we could do some talking, and then
sit down at around 5:30 PM to eat. I decided to work around
DD's eating schedule, silly me. The ILs live 2 hours south of
where we live. MIL called the house yesterday and told DH that
she and FIL couldn't make it up to our house until 6 PM because of
"traffic". At that time in the afternoon, all the
traffic is going south to where they live (they'd have to come North
to visit, and there is little to no traffic going north at the time
they'd be coming). I know I told DH about the dinner party being
at 5 PM. I also warned him that he might either leave work early
or take the day off to ensure that he'd be home in time for the party.
So, why does he listen to his mother and not me when the time of the
party is mentioned? While on the phone with his mother, he started
to yell at me about the time and how it's inappropriate because he'd
never be able to get home on time. I told him to get off the
phone and then we'd discuss it. DH and MIL both disgust me.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
24-APR-07
MIL called my DH late last month and told him that
SIL#2's birthday was coming up. He said, "So?"
His mother was surprised. He told her, "No one ever acknowledges
DW's birthday, why should we acknowledge any one else's?"
She got quiet and sheepishly said, "Oh." That was
it. Just, "Oh."
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
19-MAR-07
This year I have decided to let my DH remember the
birthdays of his family, and I will deal with mine. So far,
no one has noticed, or, if they have, they haven't said anything to
me or him (as of yet). Why am I doing this? Because last
year I was lectured by my MIL about how it was "stupid"
and "silly" to write everyone's birthday on the calendar
just so that we can remember them (that was after both DH - HER DS
-and I both pressed her to remember our DD's birthday, and she couldn't).
Anyway, I'm just waiting for MIL's birthday to come around and nothing
will be sent out! I think I'll wait until I can see her personally
to tell her that I didn't write down her birthday in my calendar because
I decided it was "stupid" and "silly" to do that,
because I shouldn't have to remember everyone's birthday.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
7-OCT-06
It came to a head when DH, DD and I went to my FIL's
birthday 2 Saturdays ago. I always felt that I was put on display
with how I watch over my DD at my IL's house. The house is in
the middle of nowhere. There is a pond in the back part of the
large yard, and my DD has been known to run around in that area.
The stairs on the deck are VERY steep and hard for an adult to navigate,
let alone a 3-year-old child, etc. I had told everyone that
I was upset that the month before our DD had gotten hurt by a statue
of my DH's, and that my DH was more upset by the statue being broken
than our DD needing a stitch in her forehead. BIL#1 said, "That's
normal. That's my reaction whenever one of my kids breaks something
of mine." Really? DD has broken quite a few things
of my mother's, but the first words out of her mouth are "Is
my GD all right?" NOT, "You owe me $$$ for what GD
has broken!" I was put on display that night. Our
DD is needing to enter a preschool setting (think actual real school,
NOT daycare). All my ILs knew that and I know they were watching
DD for whatever secret item which made her "different" from
the other GDs. One the way home, I had to drive (DH had 3 beers
and was mad that I made him come home). He could have stayed,
but he didn't want to without me or DD. We argued all the way
home. During the rest of the weekend I ranted, raved and quoted
our state's divorce law to him. I think it finally sunk in that
I was ticked off by his family's attitude and behavior towards me
and DD. He talked to his mother the following Tuesday.
He laid down the law, so-to-speak. He said that the next time
we're invited down for a celebration of sorts, we're doing it in a
restaurant so we'd only be there for 2 hours tops, and we can leave
ASAP. We aren't coming to their house anymore (for at least
2 or 3 months) because I was sick and tired of them not coming up
to visit us. They expect us to travel 2 hours to their house,
with a 3-year-old, AND they expect us to pack to stay the entire weekend.
I have to be the one to remember clothing, my DH's breathing machine,
etc. DH told her that I didn't appreciate BIL#1 and SIL#1's
attitude about me being a bad mother because I hover over my child,
making sure that she doesn't crack her head open on steep stairs,
in the nighttime, with no lights on on the deck. Last evening
DH came home and said that he had a conversation with BIL#2.
It seems that MIL talked to BIL#1 and then BIL#1 called BIL#2 and
said, "(Hubby's name) gave mom a hard time and that (my name)
didn't like coming down there." HOWEVER, BIL#2 agreed with
me that DD and I were both on display that night, and he had no reason
why his own mother and father wouldn't come to visit our house, especially
since they have an OPEN INVITATION to do so. GAAAAAAAH!
At least they understand. I think. I hope!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
30-AUG-06
Talk about history repeating itself! However,
it wasn't my MIL who ignored my DD at her 3rd birthday party, it was
my FIL. Background: My DD loves to be read to. She'll
grab a book, and the first person she sees will be the one she wants
to read to her. Back to story: My DD handed my FIL a book
to read to her. As she was trying to climb his lap, he pushed
her away and called to his 1 1/2 year GC to come over to him so that
he could read to her. I was livid! However, I didn't want
to start screaming in the middle of my DD's birthday party.
Was I in the right, or should I have started a fight?
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
28-JUL-06
SIL#1 decided to hold an in-home kitchen merchandise
party. The day she picked was my DD's birthday. I left
a message on her answering machine letting her know that I couldn't
make it and why. Haven't heard back from her or BIL#1, but it's
only been a few hours. Anyway, I went out to the movies while
DH watched the house and our DD. When I come back, he told me
that he talked to his mom. His mother was COMPLETELY CLUELESS
about why I wouldn't be going to the party. DH had to tell her
when DD's birthday was. DD will be 3. She said that no
one had to write every single birthday on the calendar (like I do).
However, when SIL#1's birthday card was late, she called and reamed
me out.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
3-FEB-06
How about this for a new one? My MIL has decided,
for DH and me, that we should not have any more children because our
DD would be sooooo devastated at having to share us with another child,
and it would hurt her emotionally!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
17-JAN-06
We celebrated our DD's 2nd birthday during the summer.
We invited family and friends. Because of the other children
at the party, my DD was running around like a normal 2 year old.
MIL was out on the deck with DH helping him cook. She never
looked at my DD. When her 2 other grandkids showed up, she completely
ignored my DD in favor of these 2 brats!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
4-DEC-05
I left DH alone with DD for 1 hour. I had to
go out and get cat food. There was none, and I wasn't about
to let the kitties starve until the next day. And, besides,
we had no milk or eggs. Anyway, when I got home, DD hugged me
and she smelled a little off. I thought that she had peed through
her diaper and had gotten her pjs wet. According to DH, she
drank pureed baby bananas out of the jar and she had gotten some on
her. But, he said that I shouldn't worry, he had cleaned her
up. Then, I got the story out of him. While he sat on
his butt playing his game system, DD had pushed the baby gate down
and walked up the stairs. As the door to the basement area was
open, this is where it's my fault, she just continued up and onto
the main floor of our townhouse. She then found a *plastic bag*
with the glass jar of baby bananas. She grabbed said jar and
came back down the stairs. She handed the jar to DH. He
put it down. She handed the jar to DH AGAIN. He opened
up the jar and tried to feed her bananas with his finger, but she
ended up biting him. He forgot that there was a huuuuuuge box
of plastic-ware downstairs, AND he was too lazy to go up the stairs
and grab a spoon. So, he let her drink the bananas out of the
glass jar. She bites all glasses that are not sippy cups, as
she drinks out of cups/jars/etc. I was very upset. Even
if the door at the top of the stairs WAS closed, he should have followed
her to make sure that she didn't fall down the stairs at any time
of her journey. Now, it gets even better: Two days later
I called MIL. DH hadn't understood why I was so angry about
him not really watching DD, so I called MIL and asked her to talk
to him. She told me that she was outraged by her son's indifference
to her GC, and that she would "definitely be calling him later
on that day to discuss this issue with him". When DH got
home, I asked him if he had talked to anyone. He said, "Yeah,
I talked to my friends." Then, I asked if he talked to
anyone related to him. He said, "No." Later
on that evening he called his mother. She said, "Yeah,
I told your wife that I'd talk to you, but I don't think that I should
make waves in your marriage." WTF??? Excuse me????
She can criticize my (lack) of house cleaning skills and insult me
in front of my mother, but she can't bring herself to chew her OWN
SON out about his indifference to his child!?!?!?!?! What is
wrong with this picture? Next time DH wants to go visit his
family, he can go by himself. He will not be bringing me, nor
will he be bringing DD. And, if he tries to pull the crap, "If
I can't take DD to see my parents, you're not allowed to take her
to your parents' house," I swear, I'll call the first divorce
lawyer I find in the phone book.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
29-JUN-05
Where do I begin? Oh! I know! How
about this one!? My DH and I got married in 2002. Before
and during our engagement, my MIL was a nice woman who thought that
I was great because we were "so much alike". We were
trying to come up with our china pattern. I had picked out a
china pattern when I was about 10 years old. It's a very nice
popular pattern. MIL decided that it wasn't very "professional"
looking, because, don't you know, my DH and I were going to be "networking"
and the like, and he'd be bringing home his bosses and their bosses
and their boss's bosses for dinner parties and the like. So,
MIL PICKED OUT THE CHINA PATTERN FOR US. At the time, DH agreed
to it. It was a very nice pattern, but not one that I liked
completely. However, I do hate conflict, and so I said nothing.
I went along with it. For Mother's Day 2004, I got 4 place settings
of my pattern because I told DH that I didn't want to invite friends
over (not bosses or anyone like that) for a dinner party because that
meant that I'd have to use the dishes that HIS MOTHER picked out,
which were not the ones I wanted. He was actually shocked that
I didn't like our china (even though I had mentioned it to him on
several occasions - including the time that we placed it on our gift
registry)!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
1-JUN-05
My MIL has decided, for whatever reason, to turn
my DD into the invalid of the family. I have no clue as to
why. This woman never has anything nice to say about my DD
(what caring, loving grandmother would constantly insult, berate,
and put down a child who's NOT EVEN 2 YEARS OLD YET!?). Anyway,
onto my story. I still think that it has to do with the fact
that I absolutely REFUSE to cut my DD's hair. My DD has had
2 hearing tests (and a third one will be scheduled in July) because
my MIL insists that she is deaf. She is not. The doctor
said, "She's much improved and happy, and her hearing's normal.
Let your MIL know that, please." So, we told her that
DD's hearing was fine. Then, at GD #1's birthday about a week
and a half ago, she, not knowing that I was behind her, whispered
to my DH that she that thinks my DD is pigeon toed! I have
no clue why - she walks perfectly normal to me. I talked it
over with her pediatrician and I had him check her toes and legs.
His attitude was, "Your MIL needs to get a new hobby."
I just don't understand why she insists on insulting my child!
What is wrong with her?
Signed - My Child Will
Not Be The Invalid Of The Family!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
5-MAR-05
This is the conclusion of the Joint Christmas Present
story. DH told his mom that I really didn't want a gift card
from a home improvement center. However, his mother had already
bought a gift card from that store and it was for $200. She
then went out and bought what I originally wanted - a gift card
from a woman's clothing store. She had overspent her Christmas
present money on us by $50, so when we came down to visit on Christmas
Eve, she made DH pony up the $50 because of her own stupidity!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit/Posted:
13-JAN-05
I just found out that my DH and I are getting a JOINT
Christmas present this year! That wouldn't be so bad if it
was a good joint Christmas present (tickets to a cruise in the Bahamas
or something). However, the joint Christmas present is a gift
card to a home improvement center! WTF??? I specifically
told my MIL that DH wanted a gift card to that store, as we had
our eye on some new carpeting that they sell. She asked me
what I wanted, and I told her gift cards to either a few specific
clothing stores (I need new clothing because I've lost some weight)
and she asked if another store was okay. I said, "Sure."
Now, I'm getting a gift card to the home improvement store to share
with DH?? THIS FROM THE WOMAN WHO HAS COMPLAINED FOR THE PAST
YEAR THAT HER DS#3 AND HIS WIFE GOT HER A JOINT GIFT CARD TO A RESTAURANT
LAST YEAR??? I reamed my DH a new one for half an hour last
night. And, my DH responded with, "Well, that's what
you wanted last year!" Yes, but now I've gotten my new
pantry and the new kitchen lighting that I wanted LAST YEAR.
I don't need anything else from that store!
Signed - I Want My Own
Christmas Present, Dagnabbit!
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit,
1 of 4 needed/Posted: 5-JAN-05
While planning the reception for our wedding, I let
it be known to both my DF and my FMIL that not only were my parents
not big drinkers, but their friends (and my friends) were not big
drinkers either, so we were only going to have 2 carafes of wine
(one red and one white) on each table at our reception. You
would have thought that I said that my family and friends each had
3 heads and ate live babies for breakfast! How could my parents
"embarrass" my FMIL and her family like that? And,
my DF told me that all of his friends liked to drink (which I was
aware of, plus I knew for a fact that they liked to get drunk).
So, my MIL took it upon herself to PAY for an open bar - more wine,
beer and champagne. However, the joke was on her. The
place where we had our reception ran out of wine for about 1/2 an
hour, and while the manager of the place ran out to get more, they
opened up champagne bottles and served that - without her permission!
Then, they charged her way more than she was expecting for "their
mistake" (her words). Also, DH's "friends"
got unbelievably drunk at the wedding (one was so drunk that he
was showing off a certain body part to anyone he could) .
I was vindicated when I later told my MIL what had happened and
she apologized profusely for their behavior and said, "Yes,
maybe having an open bar was going a little too far."
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit,
2 of 4 needed/Posted: 5-JAN-05
I hate going to the ILs for any reason, especially
when BIL#1 and BIL#2 are going to be there. DH is a large man,
5'10" and 400 pounds. I have been trying to get him to
lose weight, and he always tells me that he'll "do it later".
Whenever the BILs are with DH, they always make a comment about DH's
weight and size. Mind you, DH has ALWAYS been heavy! Actually,
at one point in his life (way before he met me) DH was actually pushing
500 pounds! Even his mother will get into the act about his
weight. And, then they talk to me in asides, as if I was the
one responsible for his weight! "Listen, MIL, I know that
he hasn't lost any weight since we got married a little over 2 years
ago. However, he also HAS NOT GAINED any more weight!
Can't you be happy with anything about my DH (whom my MIL claims is
her "favorite" son)????
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit,
3 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JAN-05
While growing up with my many 1st cousins and our
grandparents, there was always a rule about how, if any presents/gifts/toys
were left at the respective GPs' houses, no one was allowed to play
with said present/gift/toy without the express permission of the
child to whom it belonged. My mother, father and GPs all thought
(and my parents still do) that it was common courtesy, for no one
wants someone else playing with your items. Well, my MIL doesn't
believe in that. I guess that she believes in "communal
toys" or something like that. Let me start with saying
that I had my DD in July, 2003. In December 2003, MIL and
FIL bought my DD a brand new and very expensive wooden rocking horse.
It's a beautiful rocking horse. However, we couldn't fit it
in our truck to bring it home after Christmas 2003, so we asked
DH's parents to keep it at their house so that it could be a special
toy which DD could play with when she visited grandma and grandpa.
Afterwards, I found out that MIL's GD#1 has been playing with DD's
rocking horse WITHOUT asking me first! I feel that they have
basically degraded the meaning of the gift to my DD by allowing
it to be used by this germ-ridden child (she's had foot and mouth
disease, and every time I see this GD#1, she's always got a cold).
And, the only reason that I found out about GD#1 playing with DD's
rocking horse was because MIL said, "GD#1 is having so much
fun with your DD's rocking horse!" and then she giggled, like
it was a joke. I was absolutely livid! Come this Christmas
time, when we have to visit (because starting next year, we're not
leaving our house for Christmas Day), I'm taking the rocking horse
with us, even if I have to strap my DH to the roof of his SUV.
And, if MIL asks me why I'm taking it, I'll let her know that I
feel that DD should have *HER* rocking horse at her own home, where
she can play with it without having to wait and stand in line and
look pointedly at GD#1.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - IDrinkaRumcosIneedit,
4 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-JAN-05
DH and I got married in the summer of 2002.
By the time Thanksgiving rolled around that same year, I announced
to my parents and my ILs that I was pregnant. My parents were
sooo excited! From the way that my dad reacted, you'd think
I was the first woman to ever have a baby (*grin*). My ILs
were all in a state of shock that I got pregnant so quickly.
About a month after my announcement, DH and I were visiting MIL
and FIL. MIL looked at us and said that BIL#1 was mad because
DH got me pregnant so quickly. BIL#1 and his wife, SIL#1,
were married for 5 years before the birth of their DD, and they
had tried for 2 1/2 years to get pregnant. Then, MIL told
us that SIL#1 thought that we were insane for having a baby so quickly
and early in our marriage, as she and BIL#1 had so many problems
during the first 2 years of marriage. As if DH and BIL#1 are
anything alike in personality! And, gee, thanks for actually
being excited for us! Now, please keep in mind that MIL raised
three sons (DH, BIL#1 and BIL#2). BIL#1 and his wife had a
DD. Now that MIL had her GD, she was hoping that I'd be the
one to have the GS. Every time she saw me, she'd say, "How's
my grandson doing?!" or, "Be extra special careful with
my GS." It got to the point where I never wanted to be
near my MIL because, and I told this to my DH, "What if I had
a DD? She's so obsessed with a GS, what if I give her another
GD? Will she not love our DD at all?" Fortunately,
DH stood up and told his mother to not refer to the baby as a GS
anymore. Unfortunately, during the 5th month sonogram, which
can determine the sex of the baby, our baby's legs were crossed,
so the tech didn't want to guess at the sex. The baby was
a DD, and my MIL is comparing my DD to GD#1. GRRRR - but that's
another post in and of itself.
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