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Frequent Fry HerTM
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I Just Wanna Be Free
Age: 30    MIL Age: 55

My MIL Thinks She's Martha Stewart!

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free /Posted: 21-AUG-02
My MIL loves to be "the most gorgeous", and loves to show me up at every opportunity.  She is a tiny woman, and nothing delights her more than proving to me (and anyone who will listen) that she is smaller than I am (and thus, more beautiful!).  She's crazy - she does it with shoes (if I get a new pair, she insists on trying them on and then trumpets that she is a size smaller) and clothing.  She buys me clothes that are too small (but fit her perfectly!), and has tried to "loan" me clothing (that she knows won't fit me!).  I clearly remember one hot summer day at her place, she set up a paddling pool for the kids.  They were only babies, and I wanted to be in there with them to look after them, but had no swimming costume.  She was quick to loan me some bikini bottoms - the tiniest pair she could find.  I swear, they were so small, even SHE couldn't have fit into them for 10 years!  Well, I squashed my hips into them, and was in bloody agony.  But, the several hours of pain was worth the sour look on her face!  I think I still bear the scars from wearing those bikini bottoms!  When her sister visited from the UK, she said she had brought me a jacket - and MIL was quick to say, "Oh, but it wont fit DIL - it'll fit me, though."  Well, it did fit, and MIL didn't talk to me all day!

        Signed - Gorgeous MIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free /Posted: 21-AUG-02
MIL has alopecia, and has no hair.  She's been completely bald for about 8 years now.  Now I know this is a distressing condition, and I am completely sympathetic.  I even know how it feels, as I got alopecia myself when I was 20.  Luckily, it only lasted six months, but I can certainly remember the way it affected my self esteem.  I have always done my best to be supportive and sensitive about her lack of hair.  I have helped her choose wigs and style them, and assured her hundreds of times that they look completely natural (they do!).  Even though she is a complete b!tch, I consider myself to be a compassionate person.  However, I also have a keen sense of humor, and that was my downfall.  One Sunday, we went around for a roast dinner.  She was busy at the oven messing with the meat, and suddenly she said, "What is that smell?"  And we all noticed that it smelled really strong, like burning plastic.  Well, she was looking around frantically when I noticed that her wig was smoldering.  I couldn't help it - I laughed myself stupid as I covered her head with a tea towel to put out the burning.  She began screaming and swatting me (I think she thought I was attacking her in some sort of hysteria).  I tried to tell her what I was doing, but I was overcome with mirth, and the fact that she was so angry just made it funnier.  By now we were all laughing but her.  Finally, she realized that her wig had caught fire in the oven.  Did she thank me for saving her from being burnt???  NO, she shouted at me and cussed me for making fun of her.  Everyone went quiet, and we all sat down to dinner.  But I couldn't stop looking at her hair, and giggled through the entire meal.  DH's nudges just made it worse, and she got redder and redder, and refused to talk to me.  I don't think she has ever forgiven me for that incident, but I remember it fondly!

        Signed - Her Hair Was On Fire

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free /Posted: 21-AUG-02
MIL and FIL have always hated my guts.  When FIL's natural born son (he is DH's step father) got married, they took every opportunity to make it clear how great the "new and improved" DIL was compared to me.  They got a blown up wedding picture of them, and put it on the wall.  Ours was tiny and hidden on the mantle behind everyone else's photos.  They gushed over her wedding dress, as it was so "pure and white".  Mine was cream, so I guess it was a dig (even though they insisted when we got married that I couldn't get married in white, as we had been living together - but so had FIL's son and the new DIL!).  MIL told me, coldly, that the new DIL called her "mom", and added spitefully, "but I guess YOU would never be the type to call me 'mom'!"  I replied coolly, "That's right, I have a mother, thanks."  When new DIL had her baby, FIL made delicate insinuations that this grandchild was a "real" grandchild - as though our son wasn't.  Everything new DIL wanted, she got.  They took every chance to fawn over her, and I clearly recall one time when they shouted at me for placing my baby's shoes on the table in front of her.  The exact same things happened when BIL got married.  They treated his wife as though she was more special and welcome in the family than I was, despite the fact that they seen me much more frequently.  This kind of favoritism is the kind of sick thing that goes on in this dysfunctional family.  They even repeatedly tried to make DH compete with his step SIL and BIL because they somehow think that it's fun to do that.  Of course they deny this.  This kind of thing is yet another reason that I am glad to be out of the family - I will never do that to my kids!

        Signed - They Play Favorites

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free /Posted: 27-JUL-02
FIL was having a birthday dinner at the local club, and the family was invited.  But we were told "no kids".  DH got angry, as this was not a function.  It was only a dinner at the club, to which we were members.  He said that unless they planned to pay for us, we had every right to take our kids with us.  They grudgingly agreed.  Well, we must have really ticked them off because when we got there and I tried to sit down, FIL barked at me, "No!  You can't sit there!"  We were ordered to sit at another table, separate from the rest of the family.  We were then ignored for the entire evening, unless you count the dagger glances.  I didn't really care, but I could see DH was getting really upset.  FIL is his stepfather, and he has always gotten along with him, and with FIL's natural kids.  They all ignored him completely.  I begged him to leave, but he wanted to see how far they'd go.  Well, evil SIL (who hates my guts) deliberately said to my other SIL, who sat next to me for a minute, "I bet you want to get away from HER!"  And then she flounced past.  To complete the humiliation, when we were leaving, no one said good-bye to us.  And, MIL and FIL now say they did nothing wrong, and that I (not DH, only me of course) have a problem.  YES, we have cut all contact with these awful people.  And life has never been better!

        Signed - Humiliation Is Their Weapon

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free, 1 of 4 Needed  Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free, 1 of 4 Needed /Posted: 9-JUL-02
When we got engaged, future MIL was obviously NOT happy.  Her face looked like a cat's butt.  She felt we were too young, and made it plain that I was never considered "good enough" for her darling son.  My family was thrilled, and organized a huge engagement party.  It was held at my Godmother's house.  Naturally, future MIL and FIL were invited, as was future BIL (who was about 16 at the time).  It was a really casual affair - a roast spit BBQ, dancing outside, beer in the bathtub type of do.  This is typical of my large, fun loving family, and the future ILs were appalled by it all.  We ignored them.  What bothered me, though, was when my family started warning me how much future BIL was drinking.  He was underage, and my family hadn't realized!  So, I approached FMIL and told her to tell him to please stop.  She just stared at me haughtily, and said it wasn't her problem (even though he is her son!).  So, I asked FDH to please tell him to stop drinking.  FDH did, and tried to keep an eye on him.  So, it pretty much ruined the rest of our evening.  His parents refused to keep FBIL in line or to take him home, so we had no choice but to try to get him in hand ourselves.  We finally demanded that they take him home.  They refused, and left without him!  So, we had no choice but to leave our own engagement party early with FBIL to try and sober him up!  Back at home, FBIL vomited all over my lounge room, and all over me.  FDH and I spent the rest of the night looking after him, and cleaning him up.  Finally he was up to being left alone.  So, since we were exhausted, we went to bed.  When we awoke, we found that FBIL had opened all our engagement presents!

        Signed - In-Laws From He!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free, 2 of 4 Needed Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free, 2 of 4 Needed /Posted: 9-JUL-02
I should have known that things weren't going to go well when my DH (then BF) introduced me to his mother.  She looked me up and down and said witheringly, "Another one?  I hope she's on the pill!"  I was shocked.  But, when BF invited me to dinner a few months later, I thought she would have thawed, given that it was now apparent that I wasn't just some casual fling.  But, no, she tortured me all through dinner.  She stared at me, and criticized the way I talked, sat, and ate.  And she gave me the third degree about my family, who obviously were not up to her high standards.  At the end of the meal, she informed me that I was not old enough for her son.  Then, BF got annoyed, so he took me home.  Needless to say, the journey home was not a comfortable one.  We were both embarrassed over her behavior.  From then on, every time she saw me, she would ask, "Do you actually have legs?", and, "Do you know what a dress is?"  I always wore jeans, and to her that wasn't lady like.  She also would ask me, repeatedly, what size clothing I wore, what size shoes I wore, and how much I weighed.  She's a very petite lady, and it was very important to her that she be the "most gorgeous."

        Signed - I Should Have Seen The Signs

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free, 3 of 4 Needed Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free, 3 of 4 Needed /Posted: 10-JUL-02
Whenever my MIL comes to visit, she checks up on my cleaning.  She thinks I am unaware of this, but I have known about it for years now.  Without fail, MIL will contrive to use the bathroom (no matter how short her visit is).  While in there, she goes through all the cabinets and cupboards.  I know she does this because I set little "traps" for her when she arrives.  My bathroom has a door that leads to the master bedroom.  I always close this door.  But, without fail, after MIL has used the bathroom, the door will be open.  She peeks into our room to see what state it is in, I guess.  She would always come out of the bathroom and tell me that the mirror needed cleaning.  One day I'd had enough, so I left a pair of crotch-less knickers on the bed to give her something to think about.  And, I left glass cleaner on the bathroom counter with a rag and a note saying "help yourself".  I don't know what she thought about the knickers, but she never commented on that bathroom mirror again!  J.

        Signed - Bathroom Monitor

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - I Just Wanna Be Free, 4 of 4 Needed Frequent Fry Her TM - I Just Wanna Be Free, 4 of 4 Needed /Posted: 10-JUL-02
When I got pregnant with our first child, I put on a huge amount of weight.  MIL just loved to point this out at every opportunity.  She loved to say, "When I was pregnant, I was all belly.  From behind I didn't even look pregnant.  But, YOU carry all over, don't you?"  She would guess how much I weighed all the time, and pat my stomach constantly, even though I asked her not to.  When I had the baby, and she came to visit, all she could say was that he looked nothing like DH.  She would say "Oooh, he's all YOU, isn't he?"  And it got SOO irritating!  It was as though he wasn't actually DH's child, and I was just trying to pass him off as DH's!  When BIL visited, the first thing he said to me was, "You still look pregnant!"  He stayed for five minutes and then he left.  He did not congratulate me or DH, and he only glanced at the baby.

        Signed - Spiteful ILs

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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