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Frequent Fry HerTM
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I Will Get Through This
Age: 28    MIL Age: 49

Welcome To In-Law Hell!

frequent fry her - I Will Get Through This Frequent Fry Her TM. -IWillGetThroughThis/Posted: 24-JUL-07
Where to begin?  The wedding!  I didn't want a big wedding, especially since my mom and dad offered to give us the down payment for our first home, if we had a very small one.  I gave in because DH really wanted a big party, and sweetly told me that someday we would have our house, but we would only get married once.  We found a venue for 200 guests.  My parents footed the bill, as, my MIL reminded us, is the tradition.  Now, since both my parents and ILs all come from HUGE families, DH agreed to limit our dinner guests to 50, which would have to also include the wedding party and their dates, our priest, the photographer, and ourselves.  The ILs got 75 and mine got 75, just to be fair.  We explained this to both sets of parents.  A week later, I got a list from MIL with 150 people.  I explained again.  She cut 15 people!  To top it off, she didn't even invite her own sisters or father, because she wasn't speaking to them.  If we wanted them there, we were going to have to use our own allotted amount of seats.  Yet, she couldn't leave out her neighbors from across the street, or some woman with whom she worked.  I ended up editing the list, and I truly hoped that she would feel like an @ss if anyone asked why they didn't get their invitation.  She was too drunk at the wedding to realize that they weren't there anyway.

        Signed - I Should Have Seen It Coming
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frequent fry her - I Will Get Through This Frequent Fry Her TM. -IWillGetThroughThis, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 22-JUL-07
My MIL, up until April, was living in assisted living.  Two years ago, we had been forced to take over her finances because she couldn't do it, which meant that I was forced to handle it.  She was more than happy about this because I budgeted her $950ish check every month to pay $660 for the rent, $75 on the cell, $20 for spending, and everything else on food or doctors' bills.  Everything was handled, except that when I said no to something that MIL really wanted, like a $2,000 bed, she flew off the handle and wanted to know where I was spending her money!  Now, due to a broken hip, they have kicked her out of assisted living, and she is in a nursing home until she can go into rehab.  We had to move all of her things to storage, which is the 5th time that I have moved her in 5 years.  She flew off the handle, because she didn't want to pay the $85 a month for the storage unit, when we have a perfectly good basement.  I called her out this time, because I know how much money she has.  I pay her bills.  And, if she can afford to have a cell phone, she can afford storage, especially with no rent.  She didn't answer her phone for a week, but she finally called today.  I thought she was going to apologize.  No, it was to ask me to get 1 piece of paper that had been somewhere in her living room 3 months ago, that had her friend's phone number on it.  When I explained that the storage unit was packed full, and that there were 40-50 boxes in it along with everything else she owned, dear MIL's only response was, "Well, you labeled them, right?"  DH works second shift.  I will leave a note, and he can go and dig out the %$#@piece of paper.  I AM DONE.

        Signed - Fed Up
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frequent fry her - I Will Get Through This Frequent Fry Her TM. -IWillGetThroughThis, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 23-JUL-07
My MIL lived alone, 45 minutes from us, on SSI.  She spent said income on clothes, gas/cigarettes, and the mortgage, in that order.  She actually had so many clothes that she converted a spare bedroom of her house into an extra closet.  This led to the inevitable, and she couldn't afford her house anymore.  She found a nice, low income housing unit, 20 minutes past my home (65 minutes from her house).  MIL sold her home and was accepted at the low-income place.  We were supposed to help her move, and got there to a shocker.  She had not packed a single thing, and was nowhere to be found!!!!  I went and bought packing supplies, while DH pleaded with his dad, now divorced from the beast, to come and please help.  I was packing while he was loading, when we got a call from MIL.  It seems that she was accepted to apartments, but couldn't get in until October.  She would have to stay with US until then.  This was July.  Five loads later, and my MIL was living with us again, against my will.  I had been the one to pack all her cr@p!!!  She had a date.  It gets better.  Our stipulation, since she would be there and needed to save some money, was that she had to run errands for us, since we both worked.  I should have known better, since GM is too irresponsible to watch her GDs or GS.  She never did a single thing, due to her disability.  Then, in August, she had a medical problem that caused her to spend a lot of time in bed, except when she wanted to go shopping!  She finally got the apartment, October 1, and was up and about.  That weekend, DH and I started bringing MIL's things to her new place.  When we walked in, we realized that MIL had been there already, and had been shopping.  Instead of saving her money while living expense free at my home, she had blown it all on new stuff from a discount department store.  She explained that she wanted to have a fresh start.  I was angry that I had packed half her cr@p the first time, then had to move it twice, then had to help her go through it and get rid of the junk because it wouldn't fit in her new place.  Plus, she borrowed money from DH for groceries.

        Signed - Another Move
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frequent fry her - I Will Get Through This Frequent Fry Her TM. -IWillGetThroughThis, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 23-JUL-07
Let me begin by saying that my DH's family is so bad that they could write a sitcom about it, and it wouldn't be as crazy as it really is.  This being said, DH is one of the best people I know.  His mom and dad got divorced after we were married, and MIL moved to a small home 45 wonderful minutes away from us.  After the divorce she decided to get in touch with an older brother whom she had never met because MIL's mom had given him up for adoption.  My mother always has us for Thanksgiving, being that the one year we went to the IL's when we were married, there was a fight between MIL, FIL and SIL.  It was so big that it made my 2 year old DD cry.  But, on the Saturday before that Thanksgiving, we got a call from MIL asking if we would come to her house instead, bring the stuffing and a pie, and let her newly found brother, his wife, their three adult children and spouses, AND their grandkids stay at our home because they were coming for Thanksgiving and her house was too small to keep them there.  WTF?  I have never met these people, DH has never met these people, and MIL has invited them to stay at MY house?  No to A and B, but we'll bring some pie later, thanks.  She cried, but DH stood firm this time.  She didn't talk to us for a whole 2 days, until she needed some money to pay for the food for the Thanksgiving dinner that we were not attending.

        Signed - Thanksgiving Fun
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frequent fry her - I Will Get Through This Frequent Fry Her TM. -IWillGetThroughThis, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 23-JUL-07
This is going to make me sound bad, but I have to vent.  MIL was married for 25 years and was working 3 days a week.  She decided that her arthritis was too bad for her to work anymore, but her doctor didn't agree.  She tried to OD on a prescription drug, which actually cannot kill you (thank god, because for as much as I say it, I don't actually want her dead, although it does irk me that it turns out that she knew it wouldn't kill her) and got disability for mental health reasons, which, oddly enough, fits.  So, she decided to leave my FIL for another man, ran up all of the credit cards, and kicked him out of the house.  All of this, and no income?  Oh yeah, I already said that she is crazy.  In the settlement, she got the proceeds of the house, which we were dumb enough to buy.  She got the money, but never moved out!  In fact, my SIL (also crazy, but that is another story) came in the week before we moved in and packed enough of the house away so that we could fit our boxes in also.  My MIL claimed that she was looking for houses, but hadn't found any yet, in the 3 months that she had known about the move!!!!  She remained in the master bedroom, DH and I in a smaller bedroom, my DD (4) and DS (2) in another.  The living room was so full of boxes that you couldn't see.  I couldn't unpack anything because most of her stuff was still there.  One night, after I worked all day, I came home and got to cook dinner, once again, for the woman who didn't work.  I snapped at the dinner table about something stupid.  DH took her side at first, but came around after an embarrassing night of sleeping on the couch, which he had to dig out from under the rubble.  She found a house the next day, but I got to pack up all her things, move them down there, and put them away, all the while being complained about.  But, I got through it.

        Signed - Move #1
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The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
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Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S

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