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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 29       MIL Age: 55

frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny Posted: 13-JUN-15
I was scrolling through Facebook today and, BAM, my MIL's post hit me: "I found out today a cousin of mine died from suicide Monday. As far as I know this was her second attempt." Immediately, I called my husband. "What happened? Who died?" He had no idea what I was talking about. MIL hadn't bothered to call him or text him that a relative had died. She just blasted it out to Facebook for all to see.

I don't talk to my MIL unless absolutely required. But I do talk to my GMIL. So I called her and asked what happened. She was very upset. After a few minutes of talking about it, she calmed down a little, and asked how I knew to call. I was honest and told her that MIL put it up on Facebook. This upset GMIL even more. She does not feel that personal and private things like that should be on Facebook (an opinion that I share with her). But MIL shares every little thing that happens, or that she's feeling, on Facebook to a huge group of friends, most of whom she doesn't even know.

Once I had the details I called my husband back to let him know what was going on. Later that day he talked to MIL and asked why she had not told him first. Her response was, "You didn't know her very well, so it didn't affect you." Ummm ... No. A family death is important to know, regardless of whether you knew them well or not. In fact, MIL didn't know her well, either. She just felt like she could relate to it because my BIL committed suicide. Never mind that my husband also had to go through his BIL's suicide. MIL is the only one allowed to feel anything about it.

        Signed - FYI Someone Died
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frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny Posted: 13-JUN-15
When we lived near MIL, she insisted that we have dinner with them every Sunday. Then, after the meal, we had to take some of the leftovers. First, she is not a good cook. So the food is not that tasty to begin with. Next, we enjoy cooking for ourselves, and actually enjoy what we make. So we would say that we were good, but thanks anyway. This, of course, was not an acceptable answer.

No matter what we answered, she would not give up, and insisted that we take food. As my husband is so skinny, of course he must need some more food. Subtle insults aside, there was nothing we could do to stop her. She would literally follow us to the car, with leftovers in her hands, and put them into the car.

At first, we put it in the fridge once we got home. But, no one ever ate it. So we started just throwing it away once we got home.

When we reached the point that we had been throwing the food away for weeks, my husband came up with a plan to stop her. The next week, she asked again. I do not know why she kept asking, as we always said the same answer that she ignored. But, this time DH put his plan in motion. His answer was, "No, we do not want it. If you send it home with us, we will immediately throw it away." She ignored him, I guess assuming that he was kidding, and walked the food out to our car anyway.

The next week she asked again. His response was, "No, if it goes into my car I will throw it away as soon as I get home, just like last week."

This went on for weeks. Each time, she continued to ignore him. Sometimes she tossed out little comments like, "No you won't," or "Don't be silly." Each week she would walk the food out to the car.

DH finally did get the point across. He backed to the end of the driveway and stopped the car. With the whole family watching, he got out of the car and tossed the leftovers in the dumpster at the end of the driveway. Five minutes later we got a call. It was MIL, bawling her eyes out about how we threw her food away. He reminded her that he told her that we did not want it and that we would throw it away. Apparently that did not count because she thought he was kidding. He got angry at that point, because as a child she never believed him when he said things because he was such a "jokester". Never mind that he was now a 23 year old man. She still she never believed anything he said.

        Signed - We Will Throw It Away
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frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUN-15
We were high school sweethearts. More than that, we were each other's first relationship, so no one expected it to last. In-between our junior and senior year, my husband's family moved away. I guess my MIL (FMIL at the time) assumed that would end the relationship. She never expected that teenagers could hold a long distance relationship. But we did.

For the next two years we lived four states and an 8 hour car drive apart. We only saw each other one weekend every other month.

A few months into college, I left. I needed to work, and face things on my own. That was when we came to realize that we didn't have to be apart. Let's just get married.

It was then that the crazy in MIL came out. She hated everything that I planned for the wedding: location; flowers; dresses; reception. Everything. But, being 8 hours away, she didn't get to override my choices. I would just have to live through phone calls where she would bitch that I was making bad choices and that I was not allowing her son to be a part of the planning. That was completely untrue. I talked about the plans with him continuously, and he really didn't want to have a say in a lot of it. He did not care which china I selected, or which silverware. He cared even less about the dresses and flowers. He didn't talk to her about the plans because then she would bitch at him about how much she hated all the choices.

She broke down multiple times crying and moaning that he was destroying their family by marrying. Clearly, he was not allowed to age and fall in love with someone other than her.

We flirted with the idea of living in my state and having him transfer colleges. This caused a major blowup on her part. She cried and begged him not to do it. The crying went on for days. She said that they would pay all of his college bills if we lived up there and he stayed at the school he was in. This was because his school was "so much better" than the schools where I was. Her offer to pay for his education was redacted as soon as we had gotten jobs and an apartment up there and were stuck. Without her financial assistance, my husband never finished his degree. So giving in to her got us nothing but 2 years of living near her before we made the escape back to my state.

Even though she hated everything, she did come to the wedding. It was close to the ocean, and she loves the ocean. So much so that she decided that their family would take a vacation at the beach after the wedding. It seemed to make her a little happy, which was fine with me . . . until she decided that we needed to have our honeymoon at the ocean too. I did not plan to have a honeymoon. I was moving to another state, and needed to find a job. We had stuff to move, and an apartment to find. But she suckered my husband into it by paying for our hotel room. Because he also loved the beach, she won that battle. So, after my wedding, I went on my honeymoon with my ILs. To make it worse, we had to go to her "favorite" beach. This was not the one about an hour away from the wedding. This was the one about a ten hour drive in the opposite direction of our new home.

        Signed - When The Crazy Came Out
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frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUN-15
Last Mother's Day we found out that Mother's Day ends at 5:00 PM (good thing to know!). At 5:00 PM on the dot my husband got a text from his mother saying, "I am so upset that you didn't call me on Mother's Day. I have been crying all day." He read the text and handed me the phone so I could read it also. My brow was furrowed in confusion. "She does realize that Mother's Day doesn't end until midnight. Yes?" He gave me the look that says, "You know my mother." And I did.

The terrible thing is that she probably had been crying since she woke up that morning, because no one loved her anymore. Her proof would be that she didn't have breakfast in bed, not that her kids had done that for her since my husband was 10.

After the text message the calling started. Knowing that she would be in tears, and laying the serious guilt trip on him, he didn't answer. After her second attempt to call, my husband turned off his phone for the day.

I felt sorry for her, but she brought it on herself. My husband had selected a fun new online game from them to play together later that night after the kids went to bed. That is the time that they ALWAYS play online games together. But, since Mother's Day ended at 5:00 PM, she didn't get her gift.

On Father's Day, later that year, by 5:00 PM she had not called him yet. He sent her the same text back! She did not find it funny. But we had a great laugh about it.

        Signed - 5:00 PM Mother's Day
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frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUN-15
On our annual visit to MIL, she requested that my husband clean the A/C filters. She had been in the house for 5 years. She had a very expensive electric filtration system for her extensive allergies, which they bought when they were remodeling the house. It had not had its filters cleaned in those 5 years. Not once. She didn't know how to do it. She thought that she had to call in a service guy to do it, which was too expensive for her alimony lifestyle (she makes more money a month than we do).

We took on the task, and got started. Step one - get the model number off of the device and type it into Google. The manual appeared in the first few results, and it detailed how to clean filters. No service man required. I saved the manual in her favorites and on her desktop.

Then we got to work. It was pretty simple. We pulled out the filters and placed them in the bathtub. We filled the tub with water, added laundry detergent, and waited. We came back after the 20 minutes, shocked. The tub was black. Not gray. Black. You could not see through the water. It was so gross.

The next step was to rinse them, which we set in process. We came back to find another tub of black and decided to wash it again. So, we repeated the steps again. By the second rinse the water was only dark gray. We decided against a third washing, as it was getting late and it's an hour-long process. We took out the filters and ran washcloths along the wires, which ended with us having black washcloths. Finally, we put the filters back in, started it up, and called it quits.

We no longer wonder why we got sick each time we visited MIL. My husband has decided that we are not coming back without photographic evidence that she has cleaned the filters, before we arrive.

        Signed - Photographic Evidence Required
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frequent fry her - Jny Frequent Fry Her TM. - Jny, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 13-JUN-15
My MIL will eventually piss off my husband so bad that he cuts her off for some time. During this time, we will receive long, multi-page emails that always say the same things. I know she rewrites them, because I have seen the saved copies on her computer. Plus, they are written slightly differently, but in reality she could just save the time and effort and copy and paste them from the previous email.

The emails list all the terrible things that happened to her in her life - from daddy not loving her enough, to mental disorders that she has, to her husband running away from her crazy. Sometimes she even throws in things that we have done to her, all adding up to the reason she acts this way.

In the end of the email is the same line every time, "I am sorry and I will love you forever no matter what." It is always the same excuses. No plans to change. No offers to be better, or even an understanding of what DH was upset about.

There were a few times, at the beginning, that DH would ask her to explain to him what he was upset about, but she never could. She could only go into her excuse list, so we gave up the effort to try.

DH once responded by asking what the point was in sending the email. Why send it if it meant nothing, since she could not identify how she had hurt him, nor could she offer to respect his feelings more. She responded that he needed to understand her side and be more kind of her feelings. Seriously! She just hurts people and expects them to act like it was nothing, because when they don't talk to her, her feelings get hurt. Plus, she feels justified being cruel and mean because her life is just more terrible then anyone else's.

        Signed - No Apologies Just Excuses
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