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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 37    MIL Age: 55

frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora/Posted: 10-JUN-07
My dearest has a job, which is more than I can say for anyone else in the family.  At Christmas time he'd been working 7 days a week for over a year.  I saw his mother at city hall 2 weeks before Christmas and made arrangements for a Christmas Day visit, as dearest was working so much.  She said that it was fine.  I spent the entire week before Christmas shopping and wrapping gifts for his family.  On Christmas Eve we were walking out the door to go shopping for each other.  The phone rang, it was his brother.  They were all doing Christmas that day at 3 pm; it was noon.  Needless to say, I didn't get a present.  The next Christmas, SIL #1 told me that SIL #2 said that we would buy whatever she TOLD us to buy her kids.  All the kids got $20 gift certificates, as opposed to the game systems they got the year before.  But, the ILs had a surprise.  They were taking all the kids to a family amusement park/ resort when school got out for the summer.  Soon the parents were going, too.  Mind you, my son had turned 18 that Christmas Day, and graduated from HS 1500 miles away that year.  The excitement and planning went on for a good 10 minutes.  His mother finally realized that we were still sitting there and said, "Just because you don't have kids, doesn't mean you can't come, too."  A whole other issue ensued in June.  The next Christmas we watched as both his sister and brother spent money on cigarettes, alcohol, eating out, etc., and didn't buy anything other than dollar store toys for their kids.  We and the GPs were supposed to provide the big presents.  We didn't.  Later, away from BIL and SIL, I informed the ILs that we would no longer be part of any draw with the family, as the rest of the family couldn't afford it.  I wouldn't be a part of any of it.  She looked at me as if I had suddenly sprouted horns and said, "No, you can buy some really good stuff for under $20."  She totally missed the point, that her DS and DD had not bought their kids presents because they were selfish, spoiled brats.  She still doesn't understand that we are NOT going to participate, nor attend any celebration that is supposed to be about family and giving, where the supposed family is too consumed with themselves to give to their own children.  I can't wait until this Christmas, when the kids will get their gift certificates (I won't be dictated to on what to buy them, I will ask what the kids want, but they can't demand anything).  No one else gets anything.

        Signed - Pandora's Christmas Box
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora/Posted: 10-JUN-07
As for my son's graduation, we only had enough money for me to go.  DH's mother "generously" offered to buy his ticket, as we weren't going to a well known vacation destination with the rest of the family.  So, off we went.  We went for a week, our vacation.  Half way through the week, MIL called to tell us that it cost her $800 to get everyone into a theme park for a day.  Then, BIL called to tell us that I wouldn't have a job when we got back, as they were laying off people (his wife worked there, too).  He proceeded to give us all the gossip about the place where we work (DH and I work at the same place).  Talk about a vacation spoiler.  After that call, all I could think about was my job.  So, vacation ruined, but son graduated.  We returned home.  We weren't home more than 2 days when we were reminded that we had to pay back the $700 that DH's ticket cost.

        Signed - Bewildered Where This Family Gets Off
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora/Posted: 10-JUN-07
My MIL didn't approve of me from the get go.  DH used to stop on his way home from work and have dinner at mom's.  He used to go out to eat with them on a regular basis.  He used to go all out at birthdays and holidays for his nieces and nephews.  I moved in and we started doing our thing.  I cooked his dinner, I occupied his time, and now he had more family to buy for during holidays.  I've been told that I am only with DH for his money, that this family was fine before I came along, that I get DH to do things that are dumb, like invest money in our house.  I've been uninvited to parties, left out and spoken rudely to.  My culture has been insulted and questioned.  I've been stolen from, lied about, threatened with bodily harm, and even assaulted by male members of this family.  If they only knew that if I wanted DH to tell his family to jump in a lake, he would.  The goal of raising children is to make them viable, contributing members of society.  You raise your children to break away from the main family and to start their own.  Problems arise when a mother can't let her son or daughter do that.  Think about your MIL and what kind of MIL you are going to be.

        Signed - Pandora's Insanity
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 01-JUN-07
On Mother's Day, I made a point to be nice and polite.  We took MIL to brunch, all was well.  During the course of brunch, I stated that we were busy after the meal.  It was time for me and my Mother's Day.  As we were leaving, MIL looked at DH, when I was distracted, and asked if he was coming over to spend the day with her.  However, she did tell me that Social Security had sent her a letter saying she was too stupid to work.  Guess I know what the problem is now.

        Signed - I Made A Point To Be Nice And Polite
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 01-JUN-07
For Memorial Day weekend, we decided that we wanted to be incommunicado.  Phones were turned off, answering machines were set, and we were off to a peaceful weekend.  FIL called Saturday and got the answering machine.  The message said that we were unavailable for the weekend.  Sunday MIL showed up anyway to bring us something that we didn't want.  When someone says, "Come get it if you want it," and you don't show up, doesn't that imply it's not wanted?  But, then again, she did tell me that the government considers her too stupid.

        Signed - Incommunicado
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 01-JUN-07
DH's aunt caused many problems for me at my work, and eventually was told to keep out of our lives.  So, a few weeks after that, she called at 9 AM, knowing that we don't get up until 11 AM (2nd shifters) to pick up a pump that we had borrowed from someone, who had borrowed it from a neighbor.  I picked up the phone and told her that she was told not to call our house ever again.  Mind you, I'd been asleep.  Not 10 minutes later, MIL was pounding on the door.  I opened it in PJs, said, "Hold on," shut the door, and got my DH, who proceeded to get her the pump.  Then, MIL and said that aunt went shopping for 6 hours and didn't use the pump.

        Signed - Told To Keep Out Of Our Lives
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frequent fry her - Pandora Frequent Fry Her TM. - Pandora, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 02-JUN-07
My ILs stopped by one evening during our dinner.  As we were eating in the living room in front of the TV, we set our plates and drinks aside to visit.  I had just done the floors, dishes, and laundry.  And, yet, as she was leaving, she told my DH that he needed a maid, because the baseboards were dirty.

        Signed - Pandora Wanting To Open The Box In MIL's General Direction
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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