Frequent
Fry HerTM Right Husband, Wrong MIL
Age: 25 MIL
Age: 51
Welcome to my "Wonderful Life"
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Right Husband Wrong MIL/Posted: 19-APR-02
Did you ever ONCE give your MIL the benefit of the
doubt, and then regret it every day since??? Well, I have!!
Back when hubby and I were dating and things were somewhat normal
between his parents and I, I allowed his mother to talk me into something.
Never again!! Sweetie was still in the military at the time,
and was out to sea for about 5 months. Well, the wonderful time
finally arrived when his boat was scheduled to come home. His
mother got the call that the boat was coming in on such and such a
day, at such and such a time. Well, at first she got upset,
because that was the day she already took off so that she could bake
Christmas cookies and get the house ready for Christmas. So,
she decides that she and my FIL wouldn't go up to welcome the boat
home. So, in the meantime, I made plans to get myself up to
the base. I'd mapped out my bus schedule, and arranged to stay
at one of the wive's houses. So, about 3 days before I needed
to leave, MIL called and told me that they have reconsidered, and
would be going up after all. I explained that I had already
made plans, and I'd just see them at the pier that morning.
She insisted that I travel with them and share their hotel room.
They would pay for the room, gas, and tolls. She said it would
be nice to welcome her son home "as a family". Well,
whatever, I conceded to that. I found out, on the evening that
we are suppose to leave, that she had tickets to a concert, and we
wouldn't be leaving till about 10:00 or 11:00 PM. The base was
about a 4-5 hour drive away!! So, by this time, I was fuming!!
She said that the tickets cost her $30, and she wouldn't give them
up just so that they could leave for the base earlier. This
would be the second "homecoming" that they'd be going to,
so it wasn't anything new or special to them. I wouldn't care
if it were my 50th homecoming - I would have sold those tickets in
a heartbeat!! So, we finally got to our hotel at about 3:30
in the morning. We had to be up at 7:00 to be at the base for
9:00. Sweetie's boat came in, and it was wonderful - I ditched
his parents the second we got to the pier, and hung out with the other
wives and girlfriends. So, we went back to his barracks, dumped
some of his gear off, and picked up some things he needed to bring
home with him. Then, we went out sightseeing, and to an early
dinner. After dinner, we went back to the hotel, and found that
the maid had overlooked our room. This wasn't a big deal to
anyone, except for my MIL. She stormed up to the front desk
and told them that we were checking out, and demanded a refund!
So, after only sleeping for about 3 hours, we all piled back into
the car (DH included, because he was granted "leave" for
about a week) and drove home. Here is the catch, though.
DH drove back home with mommy dearest in the front, while I was stuck
in the back seat with my snoring FIL! UGH!!! And, to top
it off, every time that we get into an argument, she throws the trip
up in our faces. "Well, I can't be that awful of a person,
after all, I did AGREE to bring her up with us when your boat came
home for Christmas that time". Yada, Yada, Yada.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Right Husband Wrong MIL, 1 of 4/Posted: 8-APR-02
My husband and I have been married for just a year,
but we have been together for 4 blissful years. Well, they were
blissful until I met "HER". By nature, I am a very
straightforward person, and I do have the tendency to speak my mind
on certain issues. Well, my MIL is very old fashioned for being
just 51, and she still insists on treating my husband and me like
children. She believes in the old adage that, "Children
should be seen and not heard". And, she has frequently
"chastised" me for "speaking out of turn".
It began to become a serious problem, so my husband (then boyfriend)
and I stopped going to visit his parents. In fact, we pretty
much cut all ties with them. They live about 1.5 hours from
us, and at the time, my now husband moved in with my parents and me
because our area had more opportunity for jobs (he was just getting
out of the military at the time). We were still going to see
his grandparents at least once a month though (they live in the same
area). Of course, it didn't take long for this to get back to
my ILs. When asked why we can't come and see them as well, my
husband told his mother, "She comes with me on my visits to see
my grandparents, and since you have expressed your interest in never
having her in your house again, we don't stop." My gem
of a MIL countered with this pearl, "Well, leave her in the car
to wait for you while you come in and visit with us." Enraged
by this, my wonderful, loving husband told her, "I don't put
her on a leash at night and walk her. I will not leave her to
wait in the car for me." After that, we did not speak to
her for another 6 or 7 months. This occurred almost 3 years
ago, and even though I'm allowed back in the house, things haven't
gotten much better.
RESPONSE: Right Husband - Wrong MIL
WHAT A NASTY B*TCH!! Thank GOD you have a REAL man!!
RESPONSE: Right Husband - Wrong
MIL
My MIL did the same thing. She forbid me to come into her house,
so I forbid her to come into mine. That backfired on her, so
she changed her tune in a hurry. Hopefully, your MIL will stay
out of your lives. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Right Husband - Wrong MIL
You've got an awesome husband J .
RESPONSE: Right Husband - Wrong MIL
"Well, leave her in the car to wait for you while you come in
and visit with us." What kind of a comment is that?
Thank God your DH "reminded" MIL that you are not a dog!
You're very lucky that he stood up for you! I have read about
many DH's on this site who would've said, "Okay, mom," to
that awful suggestion! Best of luck to you with dealing with
her.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Right Husband Wrong MIL, 2 of 4/Posted: 9-APR-02
Has anyone out there ever seen the movie, "The
Ref"?? It's with Kevin Spacey, and is one of the funniest
movies I have ever seen. Anyway, the MIL in the movie is mine
to a "T". I have a MIL who is absolutely PERFECT.
The woman does NO wrong, and my husband and I are the most rotten
people on earth. Actually, her son is only rotten because he
doesn't know how to "control his wife". On the rare
occasion that my flawless MIL does make a mistake, we get a half-@ssed
apology that goes a little something like this, "I'm sorry for
whatever it is that I did wrong in your eyes, BUT I was just trying
to love my family to best of my ability, because they mean so much
to me." YEAH, RIGHT LADY! There is a part in "The
Ref" where the MIL starts yelling at her son because her picture
wasn't over the fireplace - to which her son (Spacey) replies that
they were thinking about replacing her picture with a large wooden
cross, and every time that she feels unappreciated, she can climb
up there and nail herself to it. That one line pretty much sums
up my MIL's whole existence. If we ever receive a sincere apology
from her without a "BUT" attached to it, I think we'd keel
over. Is there anyone out there who has "Mother Teresa"
as their MIL????
Signed - Anyone have "Mother
Teresa" as their MIL????
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Right Husband Wrong MIL, 3 of 4/Posted: 9-APR-02
My MIL has always had a problem with letting her children
go. My husband and I are convinced that if she didn't have her
children's lives to interfere with, she would have/be nothing.
When it came time to plan our wedding, hubby and I were looking into
a few ideas to keep the cost down. I am the youngest child of
retired parents, and I was a recent college grad at the time (which
my parents also contributed to financially). One of the ideas
that we came up with was having a Friday evening ceremony, and having
a cocktail/ hors d'oeuvres kind of reception. Nothing too fancy
- yet elegant. We both really liked the idea - since neither
of us were really into the whole big wedding deal (to this day, we
say we should have done the Vegas circuit). We had a long engagement
- about 2 years - so there was plenty of time for our guests to arrange
their schedules to accommodate this. We had told my future MIL
of our possible plans, so that she felt "included" in the
process. Meanwhile, my mother said it was a good idea, and if
that's what we really wanted, then fine. She thought that since
we were planning so far in advance, if people really wanted to come
to the wedding, they would find a way to arrange it. So when
we told my MIL, she freaked, and wrote a big, long email about how,
"You WILL have a Saturday morning or afternoon wedding, you WILL
be married in a church, and it WILL be under a certain budget, since
we (MIL and FIL) are planning to contribute to it." Then,
she proceeded to tell us that we were being selfish to even consider
a Friday night ceremony, and that no one would be able to show up
for it, etc. Then, she also called me a "spoiled "b!tch".
As soon as we received this email, my mother got one from her begging
her to talk sense into us, and to explain why having a Friday night
ceremony wouldn't work (like my mother didn't just read the e-mail
she sent me calling me a "spoiled b!tch")?? Anyway,
after some careful consideration, my wonderful man (who was still
in the military at the time, but came to visit for the weekend) called
his mother and told her that, fine, we'll concede to the Saturday
wedding, but next weekend he will be coming home, moving all of his
belongings to my parent's house, and changing his address. At
the time, she was fine with this, because she believed she had gotten
her way. Then, the next weekend came, and hubby and I came up
to collect his things. Well, she just stared blankly at us,
with tears rolling down her face. She was sighing heavily, with
her hand clutching her chest. I'm telling you, if I had an Oscar,
I would have handed it to her right then and there. We never
said a word to her, and just went about our business. As we
were cleaning out his room, we decided to throw a lot of stuff away.
Meanwhile, MIL was downstairs, and was on the phone with my SIL.
She was asking her to come home from work, because she didn't think
she could handle this. And <GASP>, she said she may kill
herself, because she has failed as a mother. Oh no, the horrors!!
So, we made it out of there unscathed, but we received a phone call
later that evening asking why we threw this and that out, etc.
The woman went through the trash bags after we left (the trash bags
that we closed and took out back to the trash cans!!!). Can
you believe the type of crazy I am dealing with??? Is it just
me??
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Right Husband Wrong MIL, 4 of 4/Posted: 14-APR-02
Does anyone else have a MIL who thinks the WHOLE world
revolves around her?? My father, unfortunately, passed away
in 2000 - about a year before I was married. My husband thought
his family might want to know, even though, at the time, our families
hadn't met yet, and things were rocky between his parents and the
both of us. So, we called my future MIL, who gave a half-@ssed
apology for my loss, and then went into how tough it must be.
But, she said that she really doesn't understand, because she never
got to know her father (she was the product of an affair), because
he never wanted anything to do with her or her mother, yada, yada,
yada. Then, she moved on to how she hopes MY father's death
will be a lesson for her son that life is too short, and he shouldn't
shut his family out. She also told him how lucky he is to still
have a father here "on earth". She said that he should
love him and keep him safe, etc. Keep in mind that this conversation
took place the day my father passed away. Is it just me, or
did that seem a little insensitive??
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