Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- SEA_2, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 19-SEP-06
DH and I were still dating at this time and he was
learning how to drive. DH was a little late in getting his permit,
but that wasn't a big deal. Since he lived with MIL, she was
the one to teach him how to drive. They would make the 30 minute
drive to my house to pick me up every weekend. It was one such
weekend and I was sitting quietly in the back seat, because MIL had
said that I had to be really quiet so DH could concentrate.
I began to notice that MIL would tell DH what things to do as he needed
to do them, which caused him a great deal of stress because she would
usually tell him in quick little bursts. He was already afraid
of driving because of all the wrecks he had been in with MIL in the
past. We were going over an overpass and MIL wanted DH to switch
lanes. She directed him to check the rearview mirror and then
each side view mirror and when to turn the blinker on. We had
been trying to change lanes for well over 3 minutes and DH was becoming
annoyed that each time he was told to change, MIL would change her
mind and tell him not to. Eventually he took it upon himself
figure out when to change lanes. He checked everything and even
his blind spot, and then started to change lanes. He was doing
it just fine when suddenly MIL started screaming and grabbing the
dashboard, yelling at him to stop and get back in his lane.
This caused quite a mess. DH started asking why she did that
and she yelled at him to not raise his voice, when he hadn't.
She was screaming at him that he should NEVER change lanes on an overpass.
DH and I wondered where on earth she got this little bit of information.
Because of that little outburst DH was even more scared of driving
because his getting back into his lane so quickly almost caused us
to hit another car that had sped up in our place. That's not
the end of it. As DH continued his driving education the car
they drove had gotten worse. The brakes didn't always work correctly,
so one would have to pump them and give plenty of time to make the
stop. MIL still told DH what to do as he needed to do it, and
now that the brakes were messed up, every time DH had to slow down
MIL would chant, "break, break, break, break," letting him
know each time that DH should push the brakes. All of this was
becoming ridiculous since DH was a perfectly good driver. He
could have taken the test any time, but MIL insisted that he didn't
know how to drive until she told him that he knew, and that's a direct
quote. Thanks to MIL's bad teaching, which was only a distraction
to DH as he drove, he was distracted at a crucial moment one day as
another car decided to run a stop sign after only looking one way.
The car was wrecked and DH is too terrified to even start learning
how to drive again.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- SEA_2, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 19-SEP-06
Back when I was still dating my DH, my DM let it be
known to me that she would not take me all the way up the hill just
to spend a few hours with my DH. I told him this and it wasn't
long before he accepted MIL's proposal for him to move in with her.
I felt awful. DH told me that he swore to himself long ago that
he would never live with her again. I knew how much he disliked
her, and yet he was still doing this just to be closer to me.
DH and MIL moved into an old one room cabin with a basement in a central
part of town. DH would stay in the basement and MIL would be
upstairs. Things seemed to go fine at first. Then, as
MIL became more settled with everything, she began to ask DH to wake
her up in the morning. MIL had a problem of going to bed late
and sleeping all day if left alone. In the mornings I would
take my DM to work and then go visit my DH. He would quietly
let me in and then proceed to wake MIL up, since it was time.
By the time he started asking her to get up, I would be downstairs
waiting for him. I'd hear MIL groan and tell DH that she was
getting up. In fact, many times she would sit up and have whole
conversations with DH and even get up and walk around. DH would
then come downstairs and we would watch something together.
Hours would pass and it would now be almost noon, and suddenly we'd
hear the bed upstairs move around and then a gasp. A banging
noise would then follow, followed by hurried heavy footsteps.
MIL was supposed to have been at work at 9 am. I constantly
felt sorry for the little old disabled woman whom she took care of.
Instead of immediately getting ready and leaving, MIL would pull open
the trap door and yell down to DH, "Why didn't you wake me up?"
in a very whiny voice. DH would tell her that he had, and that
she even got up out of bed for a while. She would then proceed
to yell at him that he needed to make sure that she was awake and
not leave her alone until she was. Then a small argument would
start because DH would ask her how he was supposed to know that she
was not fully awake when she was up and walking around. It would
be another 30 minutes of MIL yelling at DH and the whole time she
would say, over and over again, that she didn't have time for this.
DH and I would shake our heads a lot and say to each other, "If
she didn't have time to argue, why would she start?" These
little morning escapades grew increasingly worse. It got to
the point that MIL would make DH go upstairs where she would continue
yelling and cursing at him about how he had to make sure that she
was awake. I once I heard him shout. It shocked me because
DH is calm to the point of almost being inhuman. After a while
MIL started to learn that when she woke up late, it was her own fault.
So she would stomp around upstairs crying out, "I don't have
time for this!" or cursing as loud as she could and stomping
her foot on the floor. It didn't take long before DH told her
that he would never wake her up again.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- SEA_2, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 19-SEP-06
As I was growing up my DM made sure to teach all her
children good manners, table and social. We use them all the
time, especially when meeting new people. A year after I started
dating my DH he suddenly told me that his DM was in town. This
sent me on red alert because of the horror stories that he's told
me about her. DM wanted to meet him for Easter and I don't want
him to go alone. We agreed to meet her at a local ice cream
shop's parking lot just down the road from where we'd be that day.
As my DH and I were walking up, MIL got out of the truck and came
towards us, arms out and crying. She said that she was so happy
to see us together. After introductions were finished, we got
into the truck and she took us to a run down motel where she was staying.
As DH and I were sitting on the bed, she was pulling out cold ham
that she had bought from the store and she was putting already made
rolls in the oven. It wasn't long before they started burning.
The meal wasn't bad. It was small and I knew that she didn't
have much money at the time. She was horribly nice to me and
laughed a lot. She didn't seem at all like my DH had described.
But he also told me that she always appeared nice to everyone at first.
MIL had talked DH into staying the night with her, so she took only
me back to my house. The very next day I was with DH again and
he told me that as soon as I had gotten out of the car, MIL started
complaining about me. She went on and on about how I was disrespectful
and rude. I never thanked her for anything she did or said,
and I never said please. That made me angry. I took every
precaution to be as nice and polite as I could be. She hadn't
shown a mean side, so why should I not be polite? It was evident
from the start that she didn't want me in DH's life.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- SEA_2, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 22-SEP-06
Once, when my DH and I were dating, I stayed over at
his house for the weekend. During that time I was sitting on
the couch looking out the window, and I happened to see the dog doing
something ridiculous. I commented lightly about what he was
doing, and MIL stopped what she was doing at the stove and looked
at me. She then said, "Why do you not like (the dog's name)?"
I replied, "Because he always acts stupid." It was
true. The poor dog had been raised improperly, and so he thought
that he could do whatever he wanted. If you tried to call him
to you, he ran away as if it was one big game, and it got worse if
you tried to catch him. MIL exercises him by letting him run
next to the car as she drives down a mostly quiet road. So,
of course, it wasn't her fault when she couldn't get him to get in
the car almost every time and he only chased after it or ran next
to it if she used it to try and catch him. Anyway, when I made
the comment about the dog, she flipped out! I have no idea why.
She just started yelling and screaming at me. My then BF was
in the bathroom trying to get ready for work, so he heard everything.
She walked over to me and started getting in my face, calling me a
little snot and a b!tch. It's hard to remember what exactly
she said because of the trauma that I suffered from it all.
She was mentioning how I called one of the cats a priss (which the
cat was, because she acted all aloof - but I didn't mean it in a disgusted
sort of way). She was just basically yelling at me and calling
me names, and saying how I'm a cold-hearted b!tch and that I don't
love anyone but myself. I just stood there glaring at her, unable
to say anything because if I did, it would make matters worse.
I was even angrier when my BF came out of the bathroom and said nothing
as he put on his shoes, and his mother continued to talk down to me.
When they left, I called my friend and had her come and get me.
When she got back, I was still waiting for my friend and I had my
bag with me. She looked at the bag and at me with wide, insane
eyes and said, "Are you leaving?" I told her that
I was, and she said, "GOOD! I don't want to see your face
anymore. You're such a little snot! Only caring about
yourself. You probably don't even love my son!" I
came very close to giving her a black eye then. I get very angry
when people question my feelings for DH. I stayed at my friend's
house that night, crying most of the time. I had so much pent
up anger that it was making me go crazy. I had so much that
I wanted to tell MIL and I couldn't, because she would flip out and
either attack me or call the police and say that I had threatened
her. When I got back the next day, I didn't want anything to
do with her. I stood behind my BF and his friends. They
had heard about everything, yet stood close as well (which made me
really happy because they had at one time expressed their hate for
me). MIL talked to us all in a calm and very sugary sweet voice,
and then had the nerve to talk to me. She said, "You can
come out from behind him honey. I'm not going to bite.
I am so sorry for what I said last night." I might've forgiven
her if she hadn't called me names. My dad used to yell at my
sisters and me like that (without the name calling), and would apologize
a day later. I was tired of it. For days after the incident
I would sit on the computer, or read, or get into the tub and suddenly
burst out into tears. I didn't feel sad or depressed, but for
some reason I was crying. It was driving me nuts. It started
to be that it was becoming hard for me to function. I didn't
want to do anything; eat, sleep, read, etc., and I just kept crying!
It would have never happened like that if I could have just stood
up to her. But she gets really insane when she gets angry.
If it wasn't for confidentiality, I would tell you the horror stories
of what she did to my DH when he was a child.
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.