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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
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A World Away From Normal
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Frequent
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 20-DEC-08
I want to thank you readers. I've posted
several stories about the way my MIL abuses my DH and me, and how
DH's biological mother was a major abuser. I've received lots
of support and advice from you. Recently, DH agreed to start
counseling, on the condition that I go with him, at least in the beginning,
so he'll be more comfortable. I am more than happy to go with
him! He's also finally starting to see that he CAN do something
about the way his family treats him. I think that sometime in
the near future he will suggest that we stop talking to them, unless
it's completely necessary. So, thanks again to everyone on this
website.
Signed - Relieved To See
DH Start Healing
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 5-DEC-08
I'm just annoyed right now. I've posted
before that my DH's biological parents were very abusive, in every
sense of the word. When DH was 8, he and his younger sisters
were taken from their mother and put in foster care. When he
was 12, their GM got custody of them and became their "mom".
She is who I refer to as MIL, because DH considers her his mother.
MIL likes to act all self-righteous because she saved those kids from
an abusive situation. But, in truth, she wasn't much better.
DH tells me that she would choke him, when she got angry. Her
main weapon has always been emotional abuse (and lots of it).
But, she also employed physical abuse while they were still small
enough. They never told anyone because they were just happy
to be clothed, fed and warm. I just cannot understand.
How can a woman take abused children under the pretense of giving
them the life they deserve, and then abuse them more?? DH has
so many scars from his childhood that he's blocked most of it out.
Occasionally, he tells me about it. Yes, it was worse while
he was with his parents. Just because it's a milder abuse, doesn't
make it better. He wonders whether his GM ever actually loved
him and his sisters, or if she only took them in for the "glory".
I'm inclined to think the latter, honestly. But, I'd never tell
DH that, because it would just break his heart.
Signed - Just Feeling Annoyed
Today
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 1-NOV-08
I think I'm slowly going mad. DH and I got married 2 1/2 years
ago. We moved overseas almost immediately (he's in the military).
In September I visited my home state and saw MIL a few times.
It was difficult, but really not as bad as it could have been.
In December, though, MIL is coming here. I have no choice about
it. DH's uncle is in with the military and also lives in this
country. He is the one who is paying MIL's ticket over to spend
Christmas with him and his family. DH was raised by his grandmother.
He considers her to be his "mom", and she's who I refer
to as MIL. So, his uncle is her actual son. But, since
we live only an hour from them, she will be visiting here. I've
already told DH that I will NOT tolerate her nitpicking at my house,
the way I clean it and decorate it. I will NOT knock myself
out making this place spotless. It will be everyday clean, not
special occasion clean. If he doesn't like that, he can clean
more. But, if she says ONE WORD about my home that is negative,
I will give her a piece of my mind. But, that just doesn't feel
like enough. I know that, in reality, I won't have the guts
to tell her off. But, if I make myself scarce when she's here,
I can't trust her not to mess up my house. I, also, don't know
how to diplomatically say, "No, you cannot spend the night here."
We have a spare bedroom, but it's not really equipped for overnight
guests. Besides the fact that I just don't want her here.
I am more interested in keeping the peace than I should be.
I don't really know what to do or what to say. I'm just hoping
that she wants to spend most of her time with the uncle and his family.
DH's family is very big on the whole "lets pretend nothing's
wrong" cr@p. So, he'd prefer to just ignore her.
I can't do that, though. If you've read my previous stories,
you'll see how abusive she is. But, a cutoff is out of the question.
DH literally owes her his life. What a cr@ppy situation.
I really need advice.
Signed - Desperate
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 26-JUL-08
DH joined the military while we were engaged.
Two months after our courthouse ceremony (nobody there but him, the
judge, and me), we were sent overseas. I had a very hard time
finding a job. It took me nearly a year. Right after I
started my job, we got the news that DH's older sister was finally
getting married, in two months. DH told her he'd try to come
to the wedding. However, money was too tight and DH's leave
was denied anyway. That was a year ago, and we have not visited
our home state since. Now, my older brother is getting married
in two months. I am intending to attend the wedding, but DH
will not be coming with me. MIL had a fit when she heard this.
She is now spreading rumors that I forced DH not to go to his sister's
wedding, that I will force him not to attend his younger sister's
wedding (which isn't for another 3 years), and that I am using his
money to satisfy my own selfish needs to go to my brother's wedding.
Well, I'm sorry MIL, but SIL gave us two months notice to fly halfway
around the world during the most expensive flying season (July).
I'd just started a new job, so money was tight. My brother gave
us a year of notice and offered to help pay for my ticket. And,
BTW, I make more than DH now, so whose money do you think I'm using??
Anyway, now my ILs all think I'm a selfish, controlling b!$@#, who
refuses to allow her DH to visit his family, whom he's apparently
"depressed without". Thanks a lot.
Signed - I Give Up
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 19-APR-08
DH and I had our wedding planned for the summer of that year.
DH was supposed to come home, on leave, between training and moving
to our next base. Well, the orders came through, and they were
for overseas. So, in order for me to go with him, we had to
be married sooner so that I could be put on his orders. I hopped
on a bus, and met DH at his training base so we could have a courthouse
wedding, with none of our family there. Here comes the part
where MIL tried to ruin everything. She's always had this thing
where the last girl was the best. No matter who he dated, she
hated her and would tell him to go back to the last girl. Once
we became engaged, MIL made it her mission in life to break us up.
I have loads of stories about things she did to get him to leave me.
So, there I was, sitting in my hotel, waiting for DH to pick me up
and take me to the courthouse. The phone rang. I answered,
thinking it might be DH saying he was running late. But, it
was not DH. It was MIL. To this day, I don't know how
the woman got the number. I didn't even tell her what hotel
I was staying in. I said, "Hello," and she launched,
without preamble, into a list of women she'd rather he marry.
That list included a girl he cheated on me with when we were dating
in high school, an ex who was emotionally and physically abusive,
an ex who tried to trick him into taking responsibility for a baby
she was pregnant with before they ever met, an ex who pretended he'd
raped her because she was pissed that he'd dumped her, and pretty
much every other girl he'd ever so much as looked twice at.
I told her, "Well then, isn't it too bad that he loves me, and
is marrying me, and I will be your DIL until the day you die?"
I hung up the phone. I didn't tell DH about that phone call
until recently. He was furious! Then, he said, "I
don't think she actually loves me. She only says she does because
she has to." That made me sadder than anything that old
witch has ever said or done.
Signed - Luckily DH Has
Better Taste In Women Than MIL Does
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 25-MAR-08
Oh yuck!!!! I'm seeing more and more how
my MIL has an unhealthy obsession with my DH. His birthday was
this past weekend. She called and left a voicemail wishing him
happy birthday, and saying that she wished she could be here to "spank
your little bottom 21 times". Sorry, you creepy old woman,
but that little bottom is only going to be spanked by me. Plus,
she gave BMIL our new number. BMIL left a voicemail singing
happy birthday to DH. Luckily, I checked the messages and was
able to delete it before he heard it. He didn't need another
holiday ruined by those people. And now to change our number
again and "forget" to give the new one to MIL *sigh*.
Signed - That Woman Just
Doesn't Learn
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 8-MAR-08
Why can't DH understand that when he makes silly jokes about me to
my MIL, she takes them seriously and uses them for ammo later on?
To ANYONE else in the world, those comments would be harmless, and
obviously a joke, but not for her. Of course, he chose tonight
to call her for the first time in months. Of course, I was in
the room and couldn't escape. He also said nice things about
me (and the wonderful meals I cook and the wonderful birthday party
I threw him), but she doesn't seem to hear those. I want to
smack them both - him for being too dumb to know that she's squirreling
away all those little comments, and her for duping my slightly retarded
DH and using his jokes against me.
Signed - Thank God These
Phone Calls Are Few And Far Between
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 11-FEB-08
I am still shuddering. MIL sent DH the following (unprovoked)
email. Let me first say that DH has not talked to MIL since
before Christmas. All the news she has of him is through me.
And, seeing as he is going through treatment for a major back injury,
you'd think their first correspondence in nearly two months would
at least to ask how he's doing? But, no, this is what he received:
I HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU (SEVERAL) RIGHT CLOSE TO WHERE THE COMPUTER
IS. THERE IS THE ONE I JUST LOVE OF YOU IN YOUR BED. I
TOOK IT ONE NIGHT, AND IT IS SOOO YOU, AND SUCH A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN.
I LOVE TO LOOK AT THAT, AND I TALK TO YOU! TONIGHT I SAID, "[DH],
YOU SURE ARE A GREAT LOOKING MAN, AND I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOUR FACE!!!!
LOVE GRAMS. Now, who else finds that just a tad creepy?
And, BTW, considering the fact that every email I receive is written
with the spelling skills of a preschooler, it's really amazing to
see her write to him without a single typo. I think she loves
to annoy me, and is a little obsessed with my DH.
Signed - Creeped Out
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 23-JAN-08
Two months after we were married, DH and I were
preparing for an overseas move. There was an awkward transition
period that left us without an apartment for the last 2 weeks before
the move. MIL "kindly" offered to let us stay with
her. She put us in SIL's room, and had SIL sleep in my other
SIL's room (both girls were still in high school at the time).
Those were two of the worst weeks of my life! I'll spare you
all the gory details (I'm sure you can imagine the sort of things
that occurred). But, here is what set the tone for the whole
stay. When we got to MIL's house, she pulled me aside and said
to me, "I want you to know that I understand you and DH are married
now. So if you two want to have s*x in SIL's bed while you're
here, we won't mind. We're all heavy sleepers, so you won't
disturb us. Plus, I put extra sheets on the bed, so you won't
get any 'little men' on the mattress."
Signed - This Can't Possibly
Be Real
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 21-JAN-08
Worst gift: A condom.
One single condom. The kind that Planned Parenthood gives out
for free. And, a card saying that she wanted to make sure that
there were no little messes running around any time soon. *Sigh*.
Oh, and by the way, this was for our first wedding anniversary.
Signed - Protected . .
. .??
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 17-JAN-08
Since the disaster on Christmas, I've been thinking.
Some of the readers here suggested that I talk to MIL. So I've
spent the last 2 weeks trying to think of the best way to say it.
I finally said something to her last night. I called her and
put up with some chit chat first (it's very difficult to get a word
in edgewise when talking to her). When I finally had a chance,
I said, "(MIL's name), there's actually a reason I called.
I wanted to talk to you about giving (BMIL) our number on Christmas."
Well, she made a noise similar to when you step on a puppy's tail
and immediately said, "Well, I know how badly (DH) wishes he
had a relationship with his mother! I bet he was so happy to
talk to her!" I said calmly, "Actually, no.
As you know, DH doesn't wish to have any contact with her. Ever.
He considers you his mother. Not her." These are
things she's known for a long time. She said, "Now, (DH)
pretends not to like her, but it's just an act. Trust me, I
really know him. He wishes his mom could really be his mom,
and he wants a relationship with her." I responded with,
"Yes, he wishes she had been a real mom to him, but he does NOT
want a relationship with her. She's hurt him too many times.
He's given her so many chances, and she always turns back to drugs.
He doesn't want her in his life. Period. No."
MIL tried to protest again, so I said, "Look, you ruined his
Christmas." She kind of sucked in a breath and immediately
started crying. I said, "I'm sorry, but you did.
You know that all those kids are still hurting over their childhood.
(DH) tries not to think about it all, but when he answered the phone
Christmas morning to her voice, he started reliving his childhood.
He spent all day remembering being beaten and starved and neglected
and watching his sisters starve while his mom shot up."
By now, MIL was sobbing. She told me that I was being cruel
and lying to her. I said, "No," I wasn't lying and
it wasn't cruel. Cruel was giving BMIL our number on Christmas.
I told her we were changing our number and that she could have the
new one if she didn't give it out to anyone we didn't approve.
But, if she messed up again, she wouldn't be getting our next number.
MIL continued telling me what an awful person I was, but I stood my
ground. I don't care if the woman hates me for this. DH
should not have to suffer like that. For his part, DH said he
was ok with me talking to MIL, but he didn't want to hear about the
conversation. And, he didn't ever want to hear from his BM again.
I hope MIL takes our conversation to heart.
Signed - Cruel DIL
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 9-JAN-08
My DH has one of those 2 syllable names that is commonly shortened
to 1 syllable. You know, names like Deborah, Alison, Catherine,
except it's a guy's name. His whole family calls him by the
full thing. He introduces himself as the full thing, but he
really doesn't care which one you call him. From pretty much
day one, I called him by the shortened version. I like it better
that way. One day I called DH (then BF) shortly after we'd started
dating. MIL answered. I asked for him by the short version.
She replied, "X? There's no X living here. You must
have the wrong number." I apologized and dialed again,
thinking that maybe I'd misdialed (I'd called before and gotten through,
so I knew it was written down correctly). MIL answered, and
again I asked for him by the short version. MIL proceeded to
yell at me that I was "a dumb bleepity bleep (accusing me of
being promiscuous, but in less polite words)" and that I should
clean out my nasty, dirty ears and listen when things are said the
first time. Needless to say, I was appalled! I quickly
hung up and didn't try to call again. I saw DH (BF) at school
the next day and asked him to write down his number again, because
something had gone wrong. I explained what had happened and
he started blushing. He then told me that he'd overheard the
yelling and insults, but not the first phone call. She'd refused
to tell him who was calling and what they wanted, so he didn't know
that it was me. I've since learned that MIL gets offended when
people give her grandkids nicknames. She once said, "What
right do you have to go changing someone else's name?? You didn't
give birth to him!" Right.
Signed - She Didn't Give
Birth To Them, Either
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 5-JAN-08
I've just learned that MIL may be coming to visit in the spring.
And, I can't say no. Here's why: DH is in the military,
and we're stationed overseas. DH's uncle is also military.
He is stationed at a different base, but in the same country as us.
He's been here for 7 years. He is planning to pay to have his
mom fly out and visit (MIL is actually DH's GM). Since they're
only an hour away, yep, you guessed it, I'm stuck seeing her, too.
She wants to stay half the time with us. Not gonna happen!
I will not let that holier-than-thou hag criticize every aspect of
how I keep my home, like she did before we moved here. You know
what she said? Here's a cut and paste from the email I received:
"iM SO GLAD I CAN FINAL SEE WEAR YOU LIVE! iLL HELP YOU
OUT DONT WORY. i CA SHOW YOU ALL MY TRIKCS TO KEP THE HOUSE
CLEAN LIKE [DH] LIKES IT! aND i CAN TECHK YOU [DH]S FAVRITE
FOOD SO YOU CAN KEEP HIM HAPPY! yOU WANT MY GRANDSON TO BE HAPPY
RIGHTE? IM BRINGING SME EXTRA STUFF TO SOME LITTLE THINGS TO
MAKE THE PLACE LOOK NICRE. tHERES A PAINTING aUNT m_____ IS SENDING
THAT WILL GO PREFECLY WITH THE COLORS i PICKED OUT!!"
Oh my lord, please tell me it's a dream! My only comfort is
DH's uncle's wife. She's treated just as badly by that woman
as I am. We're seriously considering running away for the month
and letting the boys entertain themselves. After all, she doesn't
really want to see us.
Signed - We're Not Really
Family, You Know
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal/Posted: 5-JAN-08
DH was raised from the age of 10 by his GM.
She is whom I refer to as MIL. I have never met his biological
mother (who I'll call BMIL from now on), and probably never will.
She was (is) a drug user and was very abusive and neglectful.
From the moment of conception on, the only good thing she has done
for DH and his siblings was to carry them to term. Not that
she treated them well as fetuses, either, doing drugs and drinking
alcohol the whole time. It's literally a miracle that those
kids survived long enough to be taken away from her. Anyway,
BMIL has only hurt my DH over and over. DH stated years ago,
while still living with MIL, that he no longer wished to have any
contact with BMIL. He no longer went on family trips to visit
her. When she came to visit them, he'd find a friend to stay
with. He threw away any mail, deleted any emails, and refused
to return her phone calls. She was a toxic influence on his
life, and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. Well, MIL
KNOWS, and has known for years that DH doesn't want to talk to BMIL
and that he doesn't want her to have our phone number or address.
So, on Christmas morning we woke up to a ringing phone. DH answered
the phone, and it was BMIL. MIL had told her that DH was just
desperate to wish her a Merry Christmas, and gave her our number.
DH, nice guy that he is, didn't tell off BMIL because, for once, she
didn't technically do anything wrong. But, it completely ruined
Christmas for him. He spent the whole day lost in his own awful
childhood memories of Christmases where he was beaten almost to death
by BMIL's boyfriend, or times when he didn't eat the whole week.
That's what he spent Christmas thinking about because MIL was evil
enough to give that woman our number.
Signed - Hurting For My
Hubby's Sake
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 22-NOV-07
I've got almost 6 years of built-up frustration with this woman to
let out. So, I'm going to start at the beginning, and tell the
whole story, a piece at a time. I may forget things now and
then, and backtrack, but I fully intend to help everyone understand
why I despise my MIL. So, here goes: I met DH when we
were 15. We were good friends for about 6 months before we started
dating. It was just a cute, innocent, high school relationship.
His idea of hitting on me was to ask my help in fastening his pukka-shell
bracelet every morning. We dated for a month before his GM (she
raised him, and he hasn't seen or spoken to his biological mom in
years, so from now on I will refer to GMIL as MIL, because that's
her role in the situation) wore him down. Turns out that the
whole time we dated, she was bugging him to dump me because we were,
at the time, from different religious backgrounds. Even though
I've since learned that she is NOT the oh-so-holy woman she likes
to make herself out to be, she found our relationship (seeing movies,
holding hands, and closed mouth kissing?) to be sinful, because I
was a godless sinner. I should have taken the hint that day,
over 5 years ago, when she first shoved her big fat nose into our
relationship. But, that's only the start.
Signed - Hindsight is 20/20
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
5-DEC-07
MIL actually did all right with my gifts this
year. I got a shirt that was several sizes too big, and a pillowcase
that my 12 year old cousin would love. So, I'm a fat 12 year
old, there are worse things to be. But, poor DH, he got socks.
I'm not kidding, one single pair of socks with a clearance sticker
still on them. Oh, and a little note saying that the shirt was
for him, too, because she knew that he'd like to see me looking nice.
Apparently, I don't usually look nice. Poor DH. It's sad
when they even treat their own child like cr@p.
Signed - Fat 12 Year Old
With No Style Sense
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal, 3 of 4 needed/Posted:
28-DEC-07
In my first entry, I told how MIL convinced
DH (then BF) to break up with me because I was a "godless sinner"
(when we were only 15). About 6 months or so after that incident,
I had all but forgotten about him. You know how teenage relationships
are. I became very religious. A couple of months after
that, I decided to get baptized. Before I did, I sent an e-mail
to him to let him know that I had become Christian. Since he
had, at one time, professed interest in my spiritual well-being, I
thought he would like to know. When his GM found out, she had
a field day. She said that I was a liar, and that I was only
pretending to find God to trap him back into a sinful relationship
and drag him down to he!! with me. The sad part is that she
honestly seemed to believe her own nonsense. I had no interest
in him as anything more than a friend, and barely that. I certainly
didn't want to try dating him (and his psycho GM) again. Thankfully,
DH didn't believe her and was happy for me.
Signed - Never Good Enough
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- AWorldAwayFromNormal, 4 of 4 needed/Posted:
28-DEC-07
When DH and I had been engaged for 3 months,
he left for basic military training. That was in December.
MIL, who had been so obsessively involved in our lives up to that
point, disappeared off the face of the earth. So, now I knew
that she only spoke to me because I was engaged to her GS. All
right, I can deal with that. She's psycho anyway. Well,
DH has an older brother, whom I'd never met. He's in the army,
and rarely is able to visit home. He was coming for Christmas
and wanted to meet his FSIL. He made MIL call me and invite
me over for dinner on Christmas Eve. I was excited to meet him,
since DH looks up to him a lot, and is always going on about him.
About 2 days before Christmas Eve, MIL called me and said, "[DH's
cousin] is sick, so we're not having Christmas." WHAT???
The woman actually expected me to believe that they were canceling
Christmas because one member of the family had a cold??? Yep,
she sure did expect me to believe that. She told BIL that I
couldn't make it. Then, when DH called to say hello on Christmas
(from Basic, BTW) she launched into the list of reasons why he shouldn't
marry me. The first on her list this time? The fact that
I "made up a lie" to get out of spending Christmas Eve with
her.
Signed - Cousin Wasn't
Even Really Sick
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