|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
Frequent
Fry HerTM
Broomhilda
Age: 26 MIL
Age: 65
USA
 |
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Broomhilda /Posted: 25-JUN-01
I am sitting here just thinking about my MIL's twisted,
nasty face that she made at me, and I want to spit at her! My
family and I were at MIL's for a birthday party for one of the distant
relatives. We constantly are shamed into buying gifts for relatives
that we never see. I was talking to one of DH's cousins and
telling her that I really wanted to buy myself a new patio set, because
my old one has really bitten the dust. MIL whipped herself around
and snapped, "You do not need a new patio set. The one
you have is just fine. That will just cost DH more money."
Her face was all twisted like a she just sucked a lemon. Like
I am a mosquito that sucks all the money out of DH. Hello???
Yet it is OK for us to purchase all of the items that DH wants that
we don't need. If we don't have the money, she is more than
willing to lend it or buy him his little gadgets that he "has"
to have. First of all, I wasn't even talking to her, secondly
it is NONE OF HER BUSINESS what DH and I spend our money on.
She is the phoniest woman alive also. UUUUUGGGGGHHH. I
can't take her anymore.
Signed - She Is The Phoniest
Woman Alive
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 26-JUN-01
We had a dining set (that was older than Jimmy Carter)
that MIL gave DH while he was single. We kept it 'til it totally
gave out. We got a newer and nicer wooden set. MIL got
ticked, and whined endlessly about how we did not have the dinette
set anymore. I told her it was in the shed if she wanted it
back. That shut her up quick!
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 26-JUN-01
'Tis the season. My MIL just informed us that
the great patio set we purchased was too expensive for us. And
besides, it is 30 percent off now, so she thinks we should go back
to the store and demand the difference be refunded to us. Oh,
and because we paid "so much" money for it, it probably
won't last as long as the cheap set she just purchased.
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 26-JUN-01
Don't you just hate it when people (MILs) butt into
your business. Doesn't she realize you and your husband are
partners for life? Sharing and working together for the same
goal. It's not like he wouldn't use the patio set. I hate
that. Basically, she is excluding you. My MIL does the
same thing. She never includes me. She once bought my
husband a case of bottled iced tea, and when she saw me drinking a
bottle of it, she gave me a nasty look. Can you believe it?
My husband uses my things, eats the food I buy with my paycheck, uses
my furniture (since he has none), and she gives me a nasty look for
drinking an iced tea meant for him. Give me a break! What
you spend YOUR money on is YOUR business. I know what you are
going through.
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 27-JUN-01
I was incredulous when I read that post. She
was SO out of line to say that, and I'm glad you know it. In
what universe would it be any of her BUSINESS what patio set you buy?
It is horrifying to read these stories because it scares me - what
is it that turns women into monsters when they become MILs?
And how can we not become them if we become MILs? OK, I think
the thing is that she was probably always difficult and unfair - and
as her DIL, you probably are forced to be close to her in a way that
makes you bear the brunt of her unfairness. I'm sure the other
relatives who witnessed that display were made uncomfortable by it,
and turned off by her!
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 29-JUN-01
I know what that twisted, nasty face looks like, because
my MIL has spoken to me in the same way since I've known her.
Not to mention, she was usually three inches away from my face when
she did it. The only other person I have ever witnessed her
doing it to was my BIL's girlfriend. To everyone else in the
world, she's as nice as can be. She has also added a finger
wave in my face from time to time. What was she so upset about?
Nothing more than what you described. Things that were none
of her business (one example: She once was upset because we
bought our three year old daughter a whole bunch of Christmas gifts
one year). It's gotten her nowhere. Four years ago, I
began to distance myself from her emotionally, and I make NO effort
to have a relationship with her now. It was the best thing I
ever did. When she sees me now, she is on her best behavior.
She tries to be friendly, but she knows there is a wall there.
Some of the things she has said to me in the past are just unforgivable
(not to mention unprintable!). And I know for a fact that she
badmouths me to other people in her family to this day, so I don't
see her "good behavior" as sincere. Good luck to you.
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 11-SEP-01
That was none of her business, and it pissed her off
that she didn't "know" about it. When it comes to
my DH and my finances, my MIL seems to find out EVERYTHING!
Not only does she have her little two cents to throw in, but she tells
everyone else in the family (and then we have my BIL and SIL calling
and trying to lecture us about managing our finances). It makes
me LIVID! We have more money than either of them, but they are
so nosey they have to butt in!
RESPONSE: She Is The Phoniest Woman Alive
Posted: 3-OCT-01
My mother is more likely to behave that way than my
MIL. It has frustrated the heck out of me for years! I
am the DIL who told about MIL, DH, and my mother criticizing me in
front of my son. After I was brave enough to lay down the law
about that, I found that saying things about other stuff doesn't bother
me so much. I have been very ill the last couple of years, and
mom comes over to help an hour or 2 sometimes, a couple of days a
week. I don't ask, but I am grateful. I know that the
price for her help is to listen to her criticism. But, after
the 4th, "I don't know why you have to finish painting the living
room!! No one will notice the walls aren't painted under the
windows - especially after you hang and close the curtains!!"
I asked her if she had a problem with me living in a nice house.
She just looked at me like she couldn't figure out what I meant.
But, she stopped saying that. The next time, it was that she
doesn't approve of us tearing out a big window and making a new doorway
through the living room instead of keeping the one directly into the
kitchen. The very thing she wanted me to do a year ago.
She keeps saying that she thinks I will regret having to walk the
extra 20 feet to answer the door. I finally said, "Yes,
I probably WILL live to regret it," and think what fun you'll
have saying "I told you so!" Again, she looked at
me with a funny expression on her face - and I haven't heard about
that again. Finally, one day she started in about spending money
on a piece of furniture she saw as she walked in. I don't know
why. I hadn't said anything - she had just come over and seen
it. In fact, because I hadn't said anything, she didn't know
it wasn't new - it had been stored at a friend's house. Well,
this time she started, and I was sitting resting (as I'm supposed
to), and I stood up (which made her stop talking). I was just
going to walk away, like I often do, but instead I asked, "Did
I say something that made you think I wanted to hear your opinion?"
I almost heard her mouth snap shut! She left. The house
wasn't as clean, but I sure was happier!! LOL! A few days
later she called and I thought it was my neighbor calling me back
trying to urge me - again - to take a puppy another friend was giving
away. I must've sounded hesitant, because my mother asked why
I answered that way. I laughed and told her, adding that I am
just not ready for a dog. Mother said, "That's right!!
If you get an animal, I won't come help you anymore or come baby sit
(for me to go to the DR or nap)!!" Something snapped!
Every single one of my siblings - including the one she lives with
- has a dog, and some have more animals, and she goes to their houses
and baby-sits the grandkids and even watches the pets while siblings
vacation! I said, "I'm sorry you feel that way because
I WILL get my son a dog when I am ready. We will miss you."
Then I hung up. 2 days later, she showed up to help, and never
was heard a discouraging word - and the skies were not cloudy all
day!! LOL! Hey, confrontation isn't so bad. Maybe
you should try a simple, "Excuse me? Were you under the
impression we needed your permission?" My sister told me
that mom has complained that I am getting mouthy. Ummm.
I am not a kid - I am in my 40's. Maybe it is about time.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Broomhilda /Posted: 19-JUN-01
This is the most recent "incident" with my
MIL. She has this problem of feeling the need to discipline
my children when I am right there. She screams at them for touching
things, and wants them to stop doing what I consider just "kid
things" (like singing loudly). She speaks so crudely to
my children that I sometimes want to cry. I just want to throw
something at her head sometimes. These are toddlers and babies
that she is talking to, not 10 year olds who know better. She
tells my kids to shut up, and calls them, "give me," and,
"loud mouths," and, "my favorite brats."
I tell my DH that these are our children she is speaking to like this,
but he isn't much better, so it really doesn't phase him. I
am so sick of the way she talks to my kids and puts them in a chair
or in the other room when I am right there. I just feel that
it is my place to do that, not hers. I don't let my kids run
wild or anything like that, they aren't even being bad. Or,
she even tells them, "Knock it off or I'll slap you."
And this is supposed to be a GRANDMOTHER?
Signed - You Call This
A Grandmother???
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 20-JUN-01
I think you need to tell your MIL to knock it off,
or YOU will slap HER! Seriously, I would never stand there and
allow anyone talk to my babies that way. I don't care if it's
my husband, or MIL, or whoever! Tell the witch that you are
in charge of disciplining your children, and if she doesn't keep her
mouth closed, you will no longer bring them around to visit her.
And get your husband to a parenting class immediately! If he
is treating his children the same way, he needs to learn how to properly
discipline. The role model he had growing up was his mother,
so no wonder he finds nothing wrong with it. Please stand up
to your MIL on behalf of your children. You are their mother,
and they need you to protect them from people like her.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 20-JUN-01
Was your husband an only child? Because your
MIL sounds like she can't handle more than one child at a time.
She obviously has no manners and no consideration for your feelings,
proven by your story about your ex's family being around so much.
I think your MIL definitely has a problem, but your husband does as
well. Does he really love you and your children? You should
ask him this? When he says yes, you can reply, "Well, then
act like it." Even point how he would feel if the tables
were turned. They are your children and you and your husband
are the disciplinarians. Maybe you should even consider talking
to her, or even better, tell her and your husband that, until MIL
treats you and your children properly, she is not to see her grandchildren.
Honestly, I wish I could tell you something better. Keep your
chin up and continue to teach your children manners and kindness so
they won't turn out like your MIL. Good Luck!
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 20-JUN-01
If it bothers you so much that your MIL is scolding
your children, it's your responsibility to tell her to stop.
Keeping quiet and hoping your husband is going to do it won't work.
Take the initiative and do something about it. If not, then
you really can't complain, since you haven't said anything to your
MIL about it.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 20-JUN-01
It is your responsibility to speak up. You are
the mother, and by the sounds of it, the only one that has the kids'
best interest at heart. If you don't take action to rectify
this situation, then by allowing this to happen you are just as guilty.
Trust me, the kids will blame you 10 times more for allowing the abuse,
than they will blame the actual abuser. Recent studies have
shown that in families of sexual abuse, the children held more anger
toward the mother for not stopping the abuse then they held toward
the father that actually molested them. Think about that the
next time you passively let the verbal abuse go on. I hope that
isn't too rough, but I feel really strongly that you need to do something.
There are tactful ways to tell your MIL that you won't tolerate that
kind of talk to your kids. I recommend you have a sit down with
her and explain how you feel and how you would like your kids to be
treated. If she can't comply, then she simply will not be allowed
to see the kids. End of discussion.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 21-JUN-01
I feel very sorry for you. I just hope you can
get up the nerve to stand up for your children. If you let your
MIL's behavior continue, what will you be teaching your children?
Stand up for your family, and in the process, kick your husband's
butt for being a slap.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 21-JUN-01
That woman has some nerve. The next time she
yells at one of your kids, tell her to SHUT UP!! And then say,
"If this is the way you will talk to my kids, then I will talk
to you the way I please." And if she still doesn't stop,
just don't visit her, and let her wonder why. Good Luck!!
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
>Posted: 21-JUN-01
Do not let her do that anymore. You are their
mother, so politely tell her to knock it off. And if she doesn't,
don't take your children around her any longer.
RESPONSE From Poster: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 21-JUN-01
Thanks for your responses. I am the original
poster. I guess I gave you all the wrong impression, that I
was a wall flower and didn't say anything to my MIL. I should
have elaborated more on the story. The last time she yelled
at my daughter I said, "Excuse me, what is going on here?"
She said, "H was putting her hands in the salad bowl, and I told
her to stop." What she really said was, "Get your
hands out of there or I will smack them." I said, "Well,
you don't need to speak to her that way." MIL said, "What
way?" I said, "Telling her you will slap her hands."
MIL said, "Oh I wouldn't do that. I just said that."
I said, "Well, I don't like it when someone threatens my kids
with bodily harm." MIL burst out laughing and called my
DH, "Will you please tell your wife that I would not harm my
grandchildren" and told him the story. She then teared
up and said, "I can't believe you think that of me. I always
say that to the other kids. I just don't want hands in the food.
Boo hoo! This is so upsetting that you don't trust me."
So, on the way home, DH yelled at me for "making a big deal out
of nothing", and says that I am "embarrassing".
I just cannot fathom that my DH sees nothing wrong with the way that
woman talks to my kids, and he defends her. To answer one of
the posters, he is not an only child, but his sisters are 5 years
older and 6 years younger than he is.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 23-JUN-01
Where is your husband in all this? She (MIL)
probably treated him this way as a child, too. It is really
important that he talk to her and set limits with her (i.e., "Mom,
we don't agree with the way you talk to our kids. If you don't
stop, we will not spend time with you"). Then, if she doesn't
stop, don't let her see the kids. This sounds harsh, but I don't
think you should submit your kids to this verbal abuse. Plus,
it will probably keep getting worse until you put limits on it.
Regards.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 24-JUN-01
Perhaps mention to your MIL that if she continues to
yell at your kids when they do something "negative", they
will perceive it as a way to get attention and will continue that
behavior. Maybe you can show MIL other ways to redirect your
kids to do positive things. For example, during the salad bowl
incident, MIL could have let the little one pour a bowl of chopped
veggies into the salad bowl so the little one would feel that she
was helping her granny - now that is rewarding positive behavior!!
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 25-JUN-01
I also don't understand why you don't trust your husband
with the child. If you are working and are in school, and your
husband does not pitch in, then go ahead and slap on a martyr sticker.
I can not believe some of you think this woman should sacrifice school
for the in-laws. School lasts a finite amount of time.
Family will always be there. If they will not accept you trying
to better yourself, they must be jealous. My advice: 1)
Trust your husband with your child. If you can't, teach him
how to care for the baby. 2) Refuse to be bullied by your
in-laws, and refuse to allow your husband to put their needs above
yours. 3) Find a baby-sitter that you can trust.
Your mom has done her child rearing. I'm sure she loves to baby-sit,
but you can't expect her to be at your beck and call. She has
her own life. 4) Stop worrying about all the things that could
potentially happen. You cannot watch your child every second
- especially with work and school.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 5-JUL-01
I was shocked to read your story. It actually
got me all worked up again about my MIL. I think I would hit
the roof if my MIL talked and treated my son this way, especially
in front of me. I feel like telling your MIL a thing or two
for you. How frustrating! Signature: A Comrade.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 7-JUL-01
I know where you are coming from. My only child
and one of her only 2 grandchildren, she treats like total dirt.
I admit he is very active, but not bad, and there is a difference.
Her other grandchild is really quiet, and she is raising him, as his
mom died recently. She is so ugly and short to my child - it
is unreal. These two kids are total opposites, and I think some
of the resentment is jealously. I don't know. But this
is his grandmother, and she doesn't have any excuse for acting so
childish. I won't even leave my child with her, not even for
a short period of time, for fear of her treating him so badly.
It scares me sometimes. You don't treat a dog like this, let
alone a little child. She is a control freak too. And
she talks all the time about everyone, including me. I can't
even look at her anymore!!!! My DH is finally getting the message,
and finally cutting her apron strings!!! Things that I saw years
ago, he is finally seeing now! Thank goodness for that.
Good Luck To You!!!!
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 8-JUL-01
I feel that grandmothers are suppose to be patient
and understand that kids will be kids. You should sit down and
have a long talk with her, and let her know that these are your children,
and her grandchildren. If she can't respect you as their mother,
then she should not say anything to them at all. My mother is
the same way, and I let her know right away, "I love you, but
you can not talk to my kids any way you want." Also, talk
to your children and tell them that their grandmother doesn't mean
to yell at them. If they do not understand why she yells and
threatens them, they will grow to resent her. Stop it now before
it is uncontrollable.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 10-JUL-01
To the poster who called the other grandchild, "Short
and ugly." .You have a lot to learn about life. First
off, are you a beauty queen yourself? How dare you say those
things.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 12-JUL-01
To the above response: ARGGGGGH! She wasn't
calling the CHILD short and ugly. She said that the grandmother
ACTED short (short-tempered) and ACTED ugly to the children.
Please READ CAREFULLY before you go jumping all over people like that.
RESPONSE: You Call This A Grandmother???
Posted: 12-JUL-01
This is to the July 10th responder (who was responding
to the July 7th responder, regarding the short and ugly comment).
I think you may have misread what the July 7th person was saying.
I don't think she was comparing the two grandchildren. I think
what she was saying was that compared to how she treats the other
grandchild, she is "short and ugly" in how she treats her
child (meaning the things that the grandmother says to her child are
short and ugly things). I'm pretty sure she wasn't meaning that
her child is more beautiful than the other grandchild.
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Broomhilda /Posted: 19-JUN-01
Here is another one of my favorite MIL stories.
My parents were completely paying for my wedding, with the exception
of the rehearsal dinner and flowers. It was to be a beautiful,
elegant wedding. My older SIL had gotten married 2 years before
I did, and had a HUGE wedding with 400 guests. Needless to say,
it was pretty tacky because, although my IL's may be well off, they
are not millionaires. It was ok. There was nothing really
nice about the wedding, except her dress. I, on the other hand,
wanted 150 people TOTAL, and was having beautiful rose centerpieces
on the tables (since this was rather expensive and it was "technically"
flowers, my mother told MIL that this was something extra that I wanted,
and my parents would pay). So, I asked MIL for a list of her
guests. She asked, "How many?" I said that we
want to have 150 people. She gave me a list of 200. I
forgot to mention that at SIL's wedding, she had 375 guests from her
side and 25 from her husband's, because his family lives in another
country and only a few family members could afford to come.
I told my DH that this was crazy. His family is substantially
smaller than mine. So she toned her list down to 100.
So my parents, who were paying for the whole thing, only invited 50
people. The thing that just makes this story a story, is that
my MIL complained to DH that she was not being "included"
enough in the decisions for the wedding. I didn't consult her
in my choosing of the reception place, and I didn't ask either SIL
for any input. I allowed her to choose the flowers for the church
(not my bouquet, thank god). And when I got to the church (my
flowers are roses, the bridesmaids are carrying roses, the centerpieces
at the reception are roses), the church flowers were done in CARNATIONS,
and sparingly at that! I wanted to die. I was so upset
that I was weeping as I walked down the aisle and everyone thought
they were tears of joy!
Signed - Tears of Horror,
Not Tears Of Joy At My Wedding!!!!!!!
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
RESPONSE: Tears of Horror, Not Tears Of Joy At My Wedding!!!!!!!
Posted: 21-JUN-01
Holy cow! Are our MIL's twins? My MIL pulled
the same stuff. I told her we were having only 150 guests too.
She gave me a list of 150. Her explanation was, "more presents."
I was completely disgusted with her. I invited 50 people.
Every day she would hound me to find out who wasn't coming so that
she could invite more. Hello? My family was paying for
this. She said that she had the right to make decisions for
my wedding. She went as far as to book the church, which I canceled
because I wanted to be married outside. She paid for my rehearsal
dinner and flowers and complained at the cost. However, my SIL
is going to be getting married, and she told her to look into an expensive,
well known hotel. Yes, no expense can be spared for SIL.
That is too funny. Our situations were very similar. Luckily,
I didn't cry on my day, because I barely saw the witch all day, which
made it perfect. I'll give you a warning, the control issues
have ended!
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Broomhilda /Posted: 19-JUN-01
This is a story about my MIL that people have a real
hard time believing is true. But I swear to you that it is.
I am my DH's second wife. We have 3 children, and have been
married for 7 years. My DH was married to G for 3 years (when
he was 18 years old until he was 21). They had no children.
My MIL (and FIL too) are "best friends" with my DH's ex-in-laws.
I have to sit at holidays and birthday parties (except mine and my
childrens') with these people. I get to hear all about how G
has a wonderful new job, and, "Thank-god she divorced her second
husband." My IL's go on vacations with these people.
Once in a while, G herself will even be at my IL's. She and
her parents were at my wedding and sat with my in-laws. My family
was MORTIFIED. When my DH and I bought our first house together,
my MIL showed up with G's mother to take a look see. This past
Christmas, we ALL (DH's whole family and myself) got to take a look
at four rolls of film of G's vacation to Spain. I guess it irritates
me so much because I am treated like such an outsider. Meanwhile,
DH's grandmother asks 900 questions about G. I forgot to mention
that G's parents didn't know my in-laws from Adam before he married
her. It's so uncomfortable and weird for me!
Signed - It's So Uncomfortable
And Weird For Me!
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
RESPONSE: It's So Uncomfortable And Weird For Me!
Posted: 21-JUN-01
I understand how uncomfortable this must feel for you.
But, it sounds as if you are handling it with grace and charm.
Keep up the good work!
RESPONSE: It's So Uncomfortable And Weird For Me!
Posted: 21-JUN-01
How would your DH feel about a move to another state?
I think it is definitely called for in this case. It may seem
a bit drastic, but I bet it would solve a lot of your problems.
It is unfortunate that your IL's seem to be so clueless as to your
feelings. I think I would avoid visiting with them at all costs.
Who needs that kind of behavior? If they can't learn to let
go and behave themselves, I think I would stay away.
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Broomhilda /Posted: 19-JUN-01
You know how you hear all those MIL stories, she's
controlling, she's nosy, she doesn't know her boundaries, she is jealous
of me, she is a martyr? That is my MIL, all rolled into one!
I can't take it sometimes. At the beginning of my marriage it
was the worst! She has come to realize that I will not be a
part of her manipulations and I see right through them. My MIL
manipulates my DH like you wouldn't believe. I can't believe
DH doesn't see through her games like I can. He is in never
- never land when it comes to her, and believe me, she treats him
just like Peter Pan. He is the 30 year old man who never grew
up!
Signed - Peter Pan's Mother
Is My MIL
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
|
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives