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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 35    MIL Age: 67

So Much For That!

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 05-MAY-12
I've been planning a nice party in my ex-MIL's honor.  I've decided that it will have a Wizard of Oz theme.  Perhaps I'll even call it the "Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead" party, with a nice blown-up picture of the wicked witch.  Unfortunately, the timing is still up in the air.

One thing's for sure, the world will be a much better place without her in it!

You'd think that my being divorced from her DD would be a great way to limit contact with her, but no.  She doesn't let a little thing like that get in the way of causing problems.

        Signed - Can't Wait For That Day
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 28-APR-12
This isn't really a story as much as it is advice.  If you're in a relationship where the future ILs are a major problem AND your significant other isn't sticking up for you, you need to seriously consider moving on.

I was married to a woman for over 10 years before it finally became too much.  She was married to her mommy and I hated that woman.  The troubles haven't ended because I make every effort to be involved in my kids' lives and she (ex-MIL) doesn't want that.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have never considered marriage for a second.

I'm now dating someone who is wonderful and has great parents of the non-meddling variety.  After 10 years it's a culture shock like none other, and sometimes I feel like it isn't real.  Life is just too quiet.

        Signed - Much Better These Days
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 30-APR-11
Today, I witnessed the most pathetic thing that symbolizes the relationship between DW and her mother.  DW started a new job today.  We're still trying to work out the logistics of getting the kids to/from school, along with their after school care arrangements.

This morning, MIL came over and picked up my DDs and my wife.  She took the kids to their school, and dropped DW off at her job (also a school).  This, in spite of the fact that DW is 35, has a perfectly good car to drive, and her workplace is only a few miles from where we live.  There are so many things wrong with this picture.  If I wasn't certain before, I now know that I married a child.

        Signed - Isn't It Cute That Mommy Still Takes Her 35 Year Old DD To School?
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 16-APR-11
Some time ago, my 7 year old DD got a hold of my wine glass, when I wasn't looking.  When I turned back around, I caught her just before she drank any.  It was one of those "tell her not to, but by the time I get the words out, the deed will be done" moments.  Naturally, that's what happened.  She had, maybe, a tablespoon.  Now, I could have yelled, sent her to her room, or whatever, etc.  She knows better.  But there just didn't seem to be any point, because the sour look on her face told me that the lesson had been learned.  I thought it was done, then and there.

Several days later, I brought home some micro brew grape soda for both of my DDs.  She was excited at first, but then, all of a sudden, she wanted nothing to do with it.  I then found out that MIL told her that wine was really bad for her, and that it would make her hair fall out.  So, now she's afraid of grape soda and grape juice.  I'm not a big fan of lying to kids to get them to do/not do what I want, and I'm not sure how to undo this.

I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that MIL took over parenting, or that . . .

        Signed - She Lied To My DD
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 16-MAR-11
Both ILs are about as nutty as they come.  I can't understand their thinking, most of the time, except to say that they believe they are perfect and that, because we are the "kids", we are always supposed to do what we are told and never to disagree.  DW and I have been married for 10 years.  In that time, my ILs, MIL in particular, have driven me to the point where I can't stand to be around them, and I refuse to go to their house for anything.  This really got under their skin the first Christmas.  And, it was not because I was missed, but because MIL's mother was in town, and it didn't look right.  In other words, she was embarrassed to have to explain to her mother why I didn't come.  I made the mistake of going over the next year to have to sit and listen to her criticize DW, when she wasn't around.  I was ready to rip her head off.  Luckily, FIL saw this and shut her up.  Good ol' MIL just knows everything.

Anyway, it's no secret that I don't like them for the various things they've done over the years.  The one thing that slays me, though, is that my MIL was really upset because I no longer had parties for them where I cooked.  When I cook, I go all out.  It's usually a two day affair, where I'm exhausted when it's over.  And, they think they're entitled to all that after everything they've done?  Gimme a break!  MIL doesn't feel welcomed into our home.  Gee, I can't imagine why.  Maybe it's because she's not.

        Signed - No, MIL, You're Not Welcome In My House
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 15-MAR-11
This one was the straw that broke the camel's back.  DW has never been able to set boundaries with her mother.  She knows there's a serious problem with her mother, but refuses to deal with it, to the point where we're in the process of divorce.

A little background info:  My mother has never done anything to insult DW, and has always been there for us.  She may not be as involved with our family as I'd like.  But, then again, I don't make the effort that I should, either.  She certainly doesn't cause problems the way MIL does.  Both of my parents refuse to get involved with our marriage, because they know we're the ones who have to work it out.

DW and I had a fairly minor argument.  She used that as an excuse to go stay at MIL's house for over a week.  This is not uncommon, as MIL has brainwashed her.  Well, MIL was pretty upset, and sent me a text saying that I had to talk with her (MIL) to get this worked out.  I refuse to talk with anyone except my wife about our marriage, so I ignored it.  Then, I received an email about what an evil person I am.  Okay, fine, I ignored that one too, except that I forwarded it to my wife for her to see.  Then, MIL really got mad, and decided to unload on my mother for not being more active in controlling me the way they (MIL and DW) want.  My mother was blindsided and crying by the time the phone call ended.  She was upset, and called me because she thought that MIL would convince me that DM was meddling in our marriage.

More background:  Every one of MIL's other kids have cut her out of their lives for years.  Two of three are now speaking to her again.  However, they do keep her at a distance and set boundaries.  In other words, they get it, and DW doesn't.

Just to show how sick this woman is, DW has not had any of her own friends.  When she gets one, MIL runs them down, and DW eventually stops talking with them.  Every time DW does something, it always has to involve MIL.  She can't do anything without MIL.  This includes grocery shopping and taking the kids bowling.  Heck, she even stayed the night at MIL's house because the kids were having a sleepover there with a friend.  I'm still not sure why our house wasn't good enough.

Now I have to figure out a way to keep my two DDs from getting caught up in the same emotionally abusive trap that MIL thinks is the "right way" to raise kids.

        Signed - The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 14-MAR-11
I've tried to block this stuff out, but it's coming back little by little.  DW and I bought a house in an older neighborhood.  All of the neighbors had lived there for years, and had raised their families at the same time.  They knew each other pretty well, and most were good friends.  We met the widow behind us almost immediately, and MIL was there.  She started ranting (to the neighbor) about how the previous owners didn't take very good care of the house, etc., just running them down.  I could have slapped her!

After we had been there a while, we decided to do something about the heating problem.  So, my side of the family and I started the whole ordeal.  We put in new windows, insulation, and siding.  It took us all summer.  During that time, I fell off a ladder and thought I'd broken my ankle.  Since MIL is an RN, DW called her over to take a look.  Well, her "friend" came with her and kept on commenting about us playing "house" and how cute it was.  MIL was just standing there, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot, letting her go on.  I ended up telling DW to get them out ASAP or they'd have broken some things too!  She got them out.  Luckily, it was one of the only times she took charge.

        Signed - Well F You, Friend of MIL
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw/Posted: 11-MAR-11
Words cannot describe the feeling that I have for my MIL and, to a lesser extent, FIL.  DW and I are in the beginning stages of divorce, and all I can think of is, "Thank god she'll (MIL) be out of my life."  Frankly, DW and her mother are so intertwined that I can't wait to get rid of her, also.  Apparently, lunacy runs in their family.  Well, good luck to you, DW, but don't let the door hit you on the way out!

DW and I had discussed the upcoming birth of our first child.  We both thought that it was personal, and we didn't want to have any other family in the delivery room.  DW made this clear to her mother on several occasions.  When the time finally came, everyone was asked to leave, and they did.  Knowing MIL the way I did, I didn't trust her at all to have left.  When I poked my head around the corner, guess who I found?  She acted all surprised and asked, "What?"  She followed me back to where DW was, as if nothing had happened.  DW had to be the one to kick her out.

I wrote the submission on Sept 6, 2010 about the ring incident.  It's true.  I wish it weren't.  And, it happened again, when my second DD was born.  My dad and his wife were visiting us at the hospital.  They were the first ones there.  When they left, I got a call from dad about my MIL driving very fast and erratically through the hospital parking lot (our oldest was in her car).  DW and I found out that she was angry because she hadn't been the first to see the newborn.  Naturally, I dragged her out into the hall and let her have it.  That was the beginning of the end of that relationship.

        Signed - It Happened Again
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 6-SEP-10
I asked my wife to marry me on a Christmas Eve at a really nice restaurant.  She agreed, and we went to her parent's house shortly after.  Everyone was very happy for us.  Then, suddenly, FMIL got really quiet and looked like she was going to cry.  At first, I thought that she was just really happy, until she was asked what was wrong.  Apparently, she was really mad, because the waitress got to see the ring before she did.

        Signed - If Only I Had Paid More Attention
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 4-DEC-10
There are so many things that MIL has done.  It's hard to pick one.  DW doesn't help matters any, as she always sides with mom during these "discussions".

I guess the one that has really stood out is the spoiling of the kids.  It got really bad at one point.  I would come home from work to find that the kids had some new toys almost every day.  When I suggested to DW that it's too much, she agreed to talk to her mom about it.  I never heard how that went, but the toys kept showing up.

When I finally said something about it again, the response I got was that it was MIL's money, and that we had no right telling her how to spend it.  The worst part was that DW agreed and sided with her mom.

        Signed - Go Live With Her, Then
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 31-JAN-11
Here's an email that was sent to my wife:

Hello my Daughter:

  You are dismayed with me, or once again mad at me, God only knows!  I have only one thing to remind you of!!  You married the Ws, hook line and sinker, and your husband, did NOT marry the Ns.  How it hurts.  We can have our differences, as we are all different people.  But - your parents are, and continue to be, on the bottom rung.

  On Friday, I just wanted to see you and the girls, and have a great cup of coffee with you.  You reminded me several times that Mr. B would be home early, therefor giving the impression that my visit should be short.  Do you do that to his side??  I bet not, because they do not come over.  And, if they do, they are welcomed with open arms.  We have no family times together, BUT you go to their houses with the family intact.  WE can't even take you and yours out for a nice meal, because B refuses to come.

  What is to happen with yours and daughter's b'days?  Like Christmas, you will come alone to our house for cake and presents??  This all should be fun for you and your children!  You are everything to us, and you know it.  So, we suffer in silence, and accept what is dished out to us.  Mostly crumbs!  That's the way we see it.

  If it makes YOU so uncomfortable for us to come to your house and do what we do ( visit and help you), we will not come!  Ever!!  Simple.  But, let it be YOUR call, and not somebody else's.  You are worth everything to us, and you know it.  Times comes and go, and your girls will only be little for such a short while.  Don't waste it.  I love my granddaughters as much as I love you.  That will never change, but times are.  Wake up!!!  MOM, MIL N.

Just picture the standard MIL stories here and you've got the picture.  She's off her rocker, and gets mad if everyone isn't kissing her rear-end.  My wife didn't do that this time, and this email was sent to send her on a guilt trip.  It's amazing (to me) that MIL can say or do anything she wants, hurt other people, and then expect first class treatment.

        Signed - Blah Blah Blah
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - bw Frequent Fry Her TM. - bw, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-MAR-11
This site has me remembering more and more of what I've repressed over the years.  Our first DD was born in November, on my birthday, actually.  Everyone had been in the waiting room, except for my dad and his wife, because he had to go to work.  After DD was born, they came back.

Later, MIL told me that my dad and his wife had offended her because they were wearing red clothes at the hospital.  I must have had the same look of confusion that you're having now.  I didn't get it and I had to ask my wife what that was all about.  She told me that her mother was upset because Ohio State had beaten Michigan the day before, and she felt that they were rubbing it in.  MIL is a big Michigan fan, and, apparently, anyone wearing OSU colored clothes had to be . . .

        Signed - Out To Get Her!!!
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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