|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
Frequent
Fry HerTM
Evil Has A Face
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Evil Has A Face
1 of 4 needed /Posted: 10-JAN-02
My former MIL is the most evil person I have ever met.
That is an opinion held by many who have met her. She hated
me before she met me, for no reason other than her baby boy wouldn't
be all hers anymore. No matter how much I tried to be nice and
not make waves, I was always treated with contempt or outright hatred.
We were married for over 17 years, until DH died of cancer in 1996.
MIL did her worst towards me until the bitter end. Thankfully,
I have not heard from her, or anyone else in that family, since he
died (because MIL poisoned all who would listen against me).
This has eaten at me for years, especially the time around his funeral.
And, now, I think I want to put some of it down in writing to try
and get it in the past. On the good side, I have moved on with
my life, and I am now remarried to a nice guy whose family treats
me nicely and accepts me as part of the family.
Signed - Finally Happy
( I
want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Evil Has A Face
2 of 4 needed /Posted: 11-JAN-02
I almost forgot about one more fun thing my MIL did
when my late husband died. She kept his wallet, check book,
credit cards, etc. And, she refused to return them. I
spent part of the day after the funeral calling and reporting his
cards as stolen and getting my checking account changed. Nice
lady, eh?
Signed - Evil Has A Face
(
I want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Evil Has A Face
3 of 4 needed /Posted: 11-JAN-02
Since I have to do 4 posts to get this on a Frequent
Fry Her page, I guess I will add one in about our wedding. She
didn't approve, of course, and did what she could to make things miserable.
We had a shower given by some of his aunts, and she came with her
current boyfriend (a drunk who sponged off of her, went on a bad streak,
and eventually drank himself to death). She didn't bring a gift
really, unless you count the large tub of Vaseline she put out as
a gag. She didn't participate at all in any of the planning,
and my parents, my DH and I paid for everything, including the rehearsal
dinner. We had the wedding at my parent's house, which was about
a 5 hour drive from where she lived. She only bothered to show
up the day of the wedding, although she did, at least, bring his grandfather
with her, and not the drunk boyfriend! She sat there all sullen
looking, and never smiled. And, of course, she gave us no wedding
gift at all. This was a practice she continued, at least as
far as I was concerned. I never even got a birthday card, much
less a present from her. Although she always got my late husband
both. At Christmas, if I got anything, it was something very
small like a box of cheap candy or a dollar store photo album.
One year, it was a set of the free Coke glasses they had been giving
away at a fast food restaurant. We, of course, were expected
to give her something nice for her birthday and at Christmas.
But she always found fault with it, no matter what it was (even if
it was something she had asked for!). Some of you may wonder
if my late husband ever stood up to her at all - well, the answer
is NO! Not only did he do the death bed betrayal of signing
everything over to her, but he never defended me if she cut me up.
I guess he was one of the world's greatest momma's boys. I really
resented him for that, especially after that final betrayal.
I am just glad that now I have someone who loves and respects me,
and who WILL defend me if someone talks badly about me. I look
back on all those years I had to put up with her and her redneck hillbilly
family and wish I had them back now. At least I have the satisfaction
of knowing that I was able to make a fresh start and get away from
there.
Signed - I Was Able To
Make A Fresh Start
( I
want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Evil Has A Face
4 of 4 needed /Posted: 12-JAN-02
Although my former MIL was totally evil in every way,
the part that still eats at me the most is the last few weeks of my
late husband's life and his funeral. She really surpassed anything
she had previously done during that period. When he first got
sick and had to have emergency surgery, she moved into his hospital
room 24 hours a day. She is the only person I have ever seen
who was able to badger the nurses and doctors into setting up a cot
in intensive care so she could stay by him 24/7. I was always
made to feel like I was unwelcome. When I came in to visit,
she was sitting on that cot glaring at me silently. Of course
you know she had to blame me for his getting colon cancer. It
was either my cooking, or that I didn't clean house well enough, or
our cats that had to be the cause. Gee, it wouldn't happen to
be the fact it runs in her family, would it? His grandmother,
grandfather, 2 uncles, 3 aunts, and 2 cousins had already died from
some type of cancer - 2 from the same kind! This went on until
he finally got out of the hospital a couple of months later, but it
continued in many ways during all his treatment. When he reached
the end stage of the disease and entered the hospital for what would
be the last time, she again moved into his room on a cot. For
the last 2 months of his life, I was not allowed to see him alone
or even talk to him on the phone without her listening in. She
constantly harangued him and badgered him when I wasn't there (he
was in a hospital 2 hours away from where I worked so I could only
come on weekends and call daily until the last 2 weeks). Unknown
to me, she was busy brainwashing him when he was already on heavy
pain meds. Less than a week before he died, she got a lawyer
in there and the HR people from where he worked and got him to change
his beneficiary from me to her and me jointly. And had him do
a will making her the executor of his estate. All this was done
without my knowledge. A couple of days later, his boss at work
warned me, but couldn't really tell me anything because of confidentiality.
By this point, my late husband was so gone on morphine that he was
hallucinating. And even without that, how could I ask about
it with her always there? He knows he had done wrong, even when
hallucinating, because he kept asking me not to hurt him for what
he had done. Speaking of hurting, she also was systematically
torturing him. His digestive tract had basically shut down and
he had suction through his nose into his stomach to suck out the excess
fluids so he wouldn't get nauseous. She didn't think the machine
sucked out enough, so she would get a squeeze bulb and hook it up
(like she had seen the nurses do) to clean the tube and suck on it
until he was bleeding from his stomach. The nurses and doctors
couldn't get her to stop, and she constantly told them they were idiots
and didn't know what was best for him anyway. She also wouldn't
let him sleep for fear he wouldn't wake up. And she would slap
him to keep him awake. As his pain increased, they wanted to
let him have more morphine, but she wouldn't allow it. Said
she had seen what that did her sister when she was dying of cancer,
and that it made her die quicker! So much of his hallucinations
were from pain, I think. I finally blew up at her over this
when they were joking about him thinking he was talking to Bear Bryant
(his favorite football coach). I didn't care who was in the
room, and told her that it wasn't funny. It was from pain, and
she was killing him quicker because of it. And then I left.
I heard she finally let him start having more morphine later that
evening, but the next day he was much worse and died at 6pm.
I talked to the nurses about her. They all hated her (and what
she was doing to him, and how she kept insulting them). I had
thought those last 2 weeks were the worst things could get, but I
was wrong. The funeral was much worse.
Signed - They All Hated
Her
(
I want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Evil Has A Face
/Posted: 12-JAN-02
On to the funeral. Making the arrangements was
he!!. MIL, DH's brother, and his sister went with me.
Unfortunately, my parents had gone back home the day before he died
to check on a few things at home, thinking that he was going to linger
a few more days. They couldn't get back in time to come with
me. Like most couples, we had lots of debts that would need
to be paid, as well as the funeral expenses. I could survive
on my salary alone. He didn't have much life insurance, only
$5K through my work and a $25K policy. He was covered for a
year's salary, plus all his retirement contributions at work (around
$50K). And we had always thought all 3 together were enough.
However, I now know that he had signed over half of that $50K to his
mother. So, I knew that after the hospital bills, funeral, and
paying off enough debts so I could get by alone, I didn't have nearly
enough. Going in to pick the casket and such was a horror.
They all wanted the $50K stainless steel casket and the $25K stainless
steel vault. I put my foot down and said, "No way he would
want all that money wasted," and picked out a more reasonable
set-up that would come to around $5K total. I did offer to let
them pay the difference if they really wanted the fancy stuff, and
the silence was resounding. I can still remember his brother
feeling the padding in the bottom of the casket and saying it was
too hard. "That's a mighty poor final resting place," was
his comment. Like he cares now that he is dead?!? She
did provide the burial plot since she owns about 12 of them for some
weird reason. She put him next to his uncle, who also died of
cancer. No room for me. But by that point, I didn't care
anyway. It is hard to say which was worse, the viewing or the
actual funeral service. At the viewing, I was not allowed to
stay up by the casket, like I should. But I was ordered to the
back of the room to sit in a chair in the corner, while she stood
by the casket acting like queen for a day - greeting everyone.
Most people who weren't his relatives (plus a couple of those too!)
realized that what she was doing was wrong, and came back to see me.
I think I cried the entire 2 hours solid. At the funeral, they
had a separate private room off to the side for the family so they
can see the service, but not be seen by the rest of the mourners.
There were 2 banks of pews, and my parents and I sat on one side,
alone, while she and all his relatives sat on the other. The
only exception was his father, who was as much as outcast as me, since
they had been divorced (what a shock, eh?) for many years. Because
he had gone into the hospital from her house, his watch and wedding
ring were there, along with his wallet and other personal effects.
He had specifically requested that he be buried with his watch and
ring on. She wouldn't give them to the funeral director until
1 minute prior to the service. I guess she really didn't want
him to have his wedding ring on through eternity. But, she finally
couldn't defy his dying request. I never talked to her about
it. But, I had talked to the funeral director, who understood
the situation, and he handled it for me. I never stopped crying
the whole time, and much of the service (which she set up completely
- I was too tired of it all to even try fighting over that) is a blurr.
After the service, two of the aunts (father's sisters) came and told
me she was planning to come back to the gravesite and take away all
the flowers and potted plants immediately. If I wanted any,
I'd better go soon. Well, we did go (since we were in a hotel
not far from there - nobody would even offer us a place to stay).
And, sure enough, she was there with a pick-up truck, loading it up!
I took about 4 potted plants, and the arrangement sent by my workplace,
and let her do what she wanted with the rest. He had enough
flowers for about 5 funerals anyway (his family is big on the flowers),
and he wasn't going to care, as long as she left enough so it didn't
look bad. In the south, the tradition is that after the funeral,
the whole family comes over to eat, and food is provided by the church
and family friends. She had that at her house, and my parents
and I were not invited. Those same two aunts felt so badly about
it that they took us out to dinner. The next day, I went back
to the funeral home and got the cards from the flowers and the guest
book so that I could do the thank yous. The director told me
he had already had to fend her off that morning, as she was trying
to get them for herself. I headed back home and breathed a sigh
of relief that the ordeal was over. None of them have so much
as sent me a Christmas card since, and I really don't care.
The only thing that has bothered me is that I never got to tell her
off. So, I guess posting these is my way of doing that.
Signed - I Never Got To
Tell Her Off
( I
want my own
Frequent Fry Her TM Page )
|
|
|
|