Fighting A Losing Battle
Age: 33 MIL Age: 58
A Battle I Can't Win
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle /Posted: 2-FEB-08 Worst gift: One Christmas,
MIL wanted to get FIL some kind of tabletop saw. She asked us
all if we wanted to split the cost 3 ways (her, SIL and us).
When we asked her how much it was, she responded, and we said, "Ok,
that's fine. We can afford that." Over the following
couple of weeks, I had worked that into our budget. Not easy
on one income, but, hey, we did it. One day, we got a call.
MIL had asked BIL (SIL's DF at the time) to go pick it up. I
found that strange, considering he didn't even have a truck to do
so, but, oh well. When he went to pick it up, he "decided"
to get a much better one, without even confirming with anybody if
they could afford the other one. He just did it. We didn't
know until the day before Christmas that the other one was more expensive.
It turned out to be 3 times as much as our original 1/3 was supposed
to be. There's no way we could pay that! On Christmas,
during the gift unwrapping, in front of the entire family, including
BIL's family, FIL opened his gift. He loved it, of course.
When thanking people, SIL said, "Well [DH and I] didn't put in
for it, so don't give them credit." Huh! And, she
told me that I need to grow up? The saddest part is that, because
of all these problems, we don't spend time with them anymore.
The kids don't see them.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle /Posted: 1-FEB-08
Ever since we were "banned" from the holidays
at MIL's house, I've ignored her phone calls. She calls the
house frequently, but I let it go to voicemail. She, eventually,
calls my DH to complain that I'm ignoring her. DH responds with,
"What do you expect?" Well, over the weekend, she
had the nerve to email my DD (almost 14) and complain to her about
how I'm ignoring her. She told my DD that the reason they don't
have a relationship is because I won't let it happen. BS!
Then, she carried on to tell my DD that if she ever gets in trouble
and I yell at her, DD is to call her and she will come pick her up.
Oh, whatever! What constitutes yelling? Hmm? What
is she trying to plant in my child's head? And, as I said before,
all this coming from a woman who puts down a bottle of vodka a day,
refuses to commit to watching the kids on any particular day so DH
and I can have a date, and never tries to communicate with the kids.
We've been here over a year and she has never made any attempts at
spending time with our kids. I can't wait until our house sells
so we can go back home where we belong!
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle, 1 of 4 needed
/Posted: 22-JAN-08
During my pregnancy with our first child, MIL and FIL
were helping us financially so that we could pay for the medical expenses.
The day that we brought our newborn home, MIL threatened to quit helping
financially if we didn't bring the baby over to see her. We
invited her over, explaining that the doctor told me not to go anywhere
for a few days. She refused. She then suggested that my
DH bring the baby over without me! Finally, we relented and
went over. The next day I had some complications.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle, 2 of 4 needed
/Posted: 22-JAN-08
Last summer, we were looking to get some electrical
work done. The electrician we chose was one whom my MIL used
frequently (and my DH went to high school with him). One night,
without provocation, he showed up on my doorstep. I had just
gotten off the phone with my MIL minutes before. He didn't have
any job to do, and it was 8 pm. He claimed that he dropped by
just to visit, since he had just left my MIL's house. Weird.
Not wanting to be rude, I invited him in to see what he wanted.
He started asking about what I do on weekend nights; if I ever go
out, if my DH ever takes me out, etc. Then, he suggested that
some night he would come by and take me out. I asked him if
he thought his wife would be ok with that, and he said, "Sure."
Then, I said that my DH would not approve, and he said, "Well,
that's too bad, we could have fun." Finding this odd, I
sent him away and called DH to tell him what had happened. DH
thought that it was strange, too. A few days later, MIL called
DH and said, "I just called the house and your wife didn't answer.
I think she's out with a guy." What in the world would
make her think that? Hmm.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle, 3 of 4 needed
/Posted: 24-JAN-08
Ok, here's just a little bit of an idea of how manipulating
my MIL is. SIL recently got married. She's 33. When
my MIL and I were still speaking, she would frequently complain to
me about how she's upset that SIL (her DD) won't have kids of her
own. She focused on how hurtful that was to her. She also
has complained to DH and me about SIL's new DH, and how she doesn't
trust him. She thinks that he's in it for the money (the family
has a significant amount of wealth that is supposed to be passed down
to DH and SIL eventually). She also constantly talks bad about
SIL's ILs, calling them trailer trash, etc. Ironically, MIL
is the one who grew up in the trailer park. Because I am who
I am, I keep my mouth shut. It would be so easy to write in
my blog (which MIL and SIL read daily) about how MIL says "this"
and "that" about her own DD behind her back, but I don't
believe that 2 wrongs make a right. But, what kind of woman,
honestly, will talk trash about her own DD to her DIL?
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Fightingalosingbattle, 4 of 4 needed
/Posted: 24-JAN-08 Worst gift: OK, my gift
wasn't a terrible one, but when you see what everyone got, you will
be able to identify how MIL showed DH and me that we were much less
important than everyone else. Christmas 2006: I got a
large bag of pistachio nuts (because I really like them) and DH got
a sweater from a discount department store (I was there when she picked
it out). SIL got a brand name knife and block set ($200 value!).
Nice, huh? Oh, and this last Christmas they didn't get our kids
anything. In August, they had bought the kids new loft beds.
But, they waited until late November to inform us that those beds
were their presents from them. Had we known that in August,
we would have put the beds in the shed, and waited till Christmas
to give them to the kids. So, our kids feel unimportant.
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
