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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Frustrated Wife
Age: 25        MIL Age: 58 Going On 90
New York

White trash family from hell!

frequent fry her - Frustrated Wife Frequent Fry Her TM. - Frustrated Wife /Posted: 5-JUL-01
Well, I have not written in a while, but I did read all my responses.  I know it is confusing!  Sometimes I can't even get my story straight - and it is so funny because no one I know believes that my situation is that bad.  One month has gone by since my last entry, and nothing has changed.  My MIL still thinks her eviction notice is bogus, and she is still an evil beast.  I told my DH that I was scared that she wasn't going to leave - and I'm right.  She has not acknowledged this eviction at all - boy is she in for a surprise when the cops come and get her!!!  I am not speaking to her, and I refuse to even be in the same room.  She says that I am the devil (look who's talking).  Even if I go to hell for some of the things I've done, she'll be there way before me!  I am finally keeping my list up to date in case I have to take her to court.  I told DH that I do not care what the consequences are any more.  I don't care if people hate me.  I have done all the right things, and have gone beyond what family should even do in the first place.  And all I got was a slap in the face.  I am going to call the police on the 28th of this month.  And I will file papers in court against her.  I have a few diary entries of some of the situations, and I have pictures of her room as well (too bad you don't have a picture section - I'm sure people would LOVE to see this room).  While I do not have a record of every incident that has occurred over the last year, I have many.  I even keep track of how many showers she takes because it is not many (gross!).  All my DH and I told her, in regards to using the "common areas" of the house, that you clean up after yourself.  Any 6 year old can follow these rules.  When you shower, don't leave your "hair" all over the place in the drain, on the shower walls and floor, and on the rugs and floor.  Wipe up any spills, and hang up your towel.  Launder the towels and washcloths that you use.  Also, in the kitchen, wash all the utensils you use.  Don't leave crumbs on the table, clean off the food stuck to the counters after cooking, and don't let food spoil and turn moldy in the fridge.  I DON'T THINK THESE RULES I MENTIONED ARE UNREASONABLE - DO YOU??  MIL can't do any of this - that lazy pig.  So, because she does not like these simple rules, she doesn't shower and the broke b!tch eats take out every night of the week.  The most difficult weeks are coming up for me.  We have many family gatherings to go to and all of us (DH, MIL, SIL, and I will be seated at the same table).  I don't know how I'm going to handle this, but I'm sure it will be really interesting.  All I know is that I will not "pretend" that everything is OK in front of all the other relatives.  I know they will try to do that, but I am still not going to socialize with them.  MIL and SIL even act disgusting at fancy events - what a surprise!  They don't move an inch from their seats, and they cry and carry on because they are not the center of attention.  I guess they also do that because they don't look good.  I'm not making fun of them.  I believe that you should always put nice makeup on and flattering clothes, no matter what you look like.  I was very overweight at one time (not now), and I didn't look like a commercial for the charity when I went out in public.  So, they are jealous of me too, and again, I am not part of their "group" because I look better than they do.  I'm sure a lot of other women experience this.  Like I said, I was once very overweight and at that time, I was welcome in their "group" and so were some of my friends as well.  Now that I lost a tremendous amount of weight, these people no longer want to be seen with me.  Isn't that strange?  I am beginning to realize other things about MIL and SIL.  In the beginning, like I stated before, they wanted to socialize with me and be friends.  Even when DH and I were dating, they would invite me over by myself without him there.  They told me that my own family didn't love me like they did (I thought it was true at the time), and that I was going to be part of a real family and there would be lots of love.  I can't believe I was so naive!  When I started to break away from their "clique" a year or two after we were married, I wasn't accepted anymore.  Now that I realize that they tried to turn me against my own family, I dislike them even more!

        Signed - I Dislike Them Even More!

RESPONSE:  I Dislike Them Even More!
Posted: 8-JUL-01
What a pig!!  You have given her a legally binding paper concerning the eviction I hope.  My mom and dad own a trailer court, and I know something about eviction.  Sometimes it is hard to do.  If you did file a legal paper and present her with it, then you can call the police and have her evicted.  The thing about it is that with their discretion, she can whine and cry about it and they can give her an extention (I've seen up to a week) so that she can get her "affairs" in order.  So don't get your hopes up really high that she is leaving that day.  If you didn't file legal eviction papers, you better do it now.  Then she gets 30 days to get out.  I've seen this dragged out and dragged out, not to burst your bubble.  But at least this is in your house, and you can watch her.  For my mom and dad, it gives them that much more time to trash the place just for kicks.  I hope that you do get her out and that you've done the right paperwork.  Sometimes I just don't understand the law, and that they get on the side of the evictee and feel sorry for them.  It's good that you have kept a diary of things and taken pictures, more ammo for you.  I don't think that anyone will take into account how many times that she bathes, it's the other things that will count.  Good luck!!!  You have my sympathies.

RESPONSE:  I Dislike Them Even More!
Posted: 10-JUL-01
Why are you going to family events with these people?  If you cannot put on a good face and act nice for the sake of others at these events - don't go.  Stay home or go somewhere else.  There is no need to make things worse for yourself and others.  Plus, when you take her to court, she could use your behavior, as justifiable as it is, against you.

frequent fry her - Frustrated Wife 1 of 4 needed Posted: 24-MAY-01
PART ONE - THE BEGINNING OF THE END.  Well, this has to be the best story yet.  When my DH and I dated and then got married, everything was OK with the family.  Yes, they were still WHITE TRASH, but they stayed out of our business for the most part.  When my FIL passed away last year, my DH and I offered to help the WITCH, because they were really BROKE and she doesn't work (because she is LAZY) and couldn't afford to live on her own.  They couldn't even afford to pay utilities or property tax, so she would have lost the house really quickly.  Right away, my DH and I told her we would help her, and she of course cried and thought it was such a nice idea.  Stupid ME.  I didn't realize that she was just being a manipulative b!tch and making us feel sorry for her.  My DH has 2 other siblings who are STUPID WHITE TRASH like their mother.  They refused to help us or their mother with anything - even cleaning up personal belongings after my FIL passed away.  She agreed to sell us her house at below market value because of its pitiful condition (we already owned a beautiful home).  The house is NASTY and DISGUSTING (it always was) - not just outdated.  It reeks of cigarette smoke (because they never opened a window) and EVERYTHING has yellow stains from the nicotine.  This woman doesn't know the meaning of housekeeping.  The food stains on the floors, walls, and ceiling in the kitchen are 20 years old.  The food in the refrigerator is old and moldy.  I don't mean to be gross, but so are the stains in the toilets and bathtub.  There are still urine stains on the living room carpet from a dog that died 10 years ago!!  They never threw anything out, so all of the rooms (including the ones they slept in) were piled up with old papers, newspapers, magazines, food, clothing - it looked like a garbage dump!!  The basement is sooooo nasty.  I found about 10 dead animals down there!  They have boxes and cans of food in the basement that are 20 years old.  Some had spilled all over and mice got into some of the others.  They never bothered bringing up their laundry when they did wash, so 30 years worth of clothing is down there too.  They had water damage, so everything on the floor has all different colors of mold.  I found about 1,000 dry cleaner hangers (the family is soooo lazy that they had to get everything dry cleaned).  The same goes for the outside of the house - bottles, cans, and other debris all around the yard.  We bought and moved into that cr@p-hole nine months ago.

        Signed - Frustrated Wife Part 1

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 1
Posted: 25-MAY-01
Is there a possibility that your MIL has some sort of dementia, and is unable to care for herself properly?  Or has she always been this bad?  Have you considered getting the health department involved?  It seems very unhealthy, not to mention a burden on you.  Good Luck, whatever the outcome.

frequent fry her - Frustrated Wife 2 of 4 needed Posted: 24-MAY-01
PART TWO - Going To Hell.  If you remember my last entry, we moved into that nasty house that used to be MIL's, but is now owned by us.  You are probably thinking that she can hold the house "over our heads" - but my DH and I have 100% ownership, title, etc., so that is not a worry.  Of course, my SIL and BIL and their spouses did absolutely NOTHING to help their mother (or us) during this difficult time after FIL's death.  SIL is a mega-b!tch and complained the whole time that no one was paying attention to her or her kid.  She sat and watched us work (she said she was helping by watching her own child!!!).  Can you believe that nonsense??  SIL is really LAZY, and comes down with mysterious "illnesses" every time there is work to do, (including work at her own house).  She is another one, like her mother, who doesn't know the meaning of housecleaning.  SIL's house is full of clutter and they've only lived there 3-4 years!  What a slob!  Her husband is frustrated too, but listens to everything she says.  SIL feels that she is a "princess" and deserves nothing but the best of everything - material belongings and emotional support.  But she is not willing to work for ANYTHING.  SIL thinks that she is the ONLY woman that ever gave birth to a child, and believes that she is so special because of this (GIVE ME A BREAK!!).  BIL and his wife were in from out of state for the week and they acted like they were on vacation!  All they did the whole time was smoke cigarettes outside and toss the butts onto the driveway (which was going to be mine!).  My DH and I had to clean out that dump all by ourselves.  We both work full time and also had to pack up everything from our old house to move it over at the same time.  MIL complained the ENTIRE time also.  She wanted to save every cheap, ugly piece of cr@p she bought at a discount department store over the last 25 years.  At this time, we agreed to let her use one of the garden sheds, 1/2 a wall in the garage, and 1/2 a closet in the basement as extra storage.  For a woman that doesn't work and can't support herself, she still feels that she is entitled to more than this!  MIL didn't do a STITCH of work either.  She refused to even move her personal belongings into her new bedroom.  DH and I had to do everything for her, but at the time (I was SO blind) we felt really sorry for her situation.  She started being an ungrateful b!tch from the very beginning.  But I had confidence that she would change for the better.  I thought that after FIL's death, the family would realize that life is too short to be spiteful, unappreciative, and lazy.  Boy, was I wrong!  MIL should be aware that it might be HER last day on earth, and she should think about how she would want people to remember her.  Please, everyone, realize that I am not writing these columns because my MIL does things SPECIFICALLY to piss me off.  I want you to know that she is such a selfish, inconsiderate WITCH that she does it to EVERYONE she knows (including her own husband - I guess that's why my FIL gave up on life so soon).

        Signed - Frustrated Wife Part 2

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 2
Posted: 25-MAY-01
Well, here goes it.  I can really relate to your situation.  This type of personality is so damaging and destructive that I am literally writing about it.  I too have a selfish, cold hearted MIL.  My MIL is 88 years old and has had a whole lifetime for it.  Just because they're old, doesn't mean they do not have a profound affect.  They are more damaging and dangerous because they ARE OLD, and every one thinks, "be respectful, they are old".  BULLSH!T.  If she never gave a damn or any form of respect throughout the years, why now?  You get respect when you give it.  For the most part, these types of women did not work, and ALL think that they are entitled to have everyone do EVERYTHING FOR THEM.  My MIL was so taken care of, and so selfish to ANYONE ELSE'S NEEDS (and never worked outside the home, ever).  Here is just an example of HERs.  When my FIL was dying in the hospital (on his death bed), she told him to get up out of bed and come home and take care of her.  That he has been sick long enough.  The man had heart problems, and had 12 major heart attacks, etc., etc., etc.).  He also had one eye and was on oxygen.  She just never saw anyone else's needs, just hers.  Just like your MIL.  Aren't the similarities incredible?  My FIL seemed like he gave up after awhile.  They are just too selfish.  I think a lot stems from never working.  They just can't relate to people in general, and ALL they want is to be taken care of (it is all they know), just like a small child.  Think of her as a small child, and ignore her.  They are not going to change, ever, ever, ever.  The more you do for this kind of person, the less they will do.  It just cripples them.  STOP DOING FOR HER.  If she is able to walk and is healthy, let her do it.  She needs to volunteer for dying children once a month, maybe that would do it.  You haven't seen anything until you see a 3 year old dying.  Sounds like she hasn't had too hard of a life.  My MIL was the opposite of her as far as the house cleaning.  She was so meticulous that she would take your plate from you before you were done eating (without asking).  AND she threw everything, but everything, away (including new underwear).  Everything went into the safe (including the deed to the house, jewelry, new food, etc., etc., etc.).  To her, everything represented a mess.  My DH and his brother had to pay a lawyer $500 to redo everything she threw away in the safe.  This is a case of the complete opposite.  One is just as bad as the other.  And no one can understand the profound effect it has on the DIL and DH.  I understand how you are feeling - pissed off, frustrated, angry, and hateful, all in one.  As they say, work is the best medicine, and I do work and work and work.  I wish you the best.

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 2
Posted: 28-MAY-01
How is your husband handling this situation?  Is he still sympathetic to her?  If not, then has he considered pushing her on to one of the other siblings?  Let them have some fun too.  Hold in there - but be verbal on your rights - it is not your responsibility to cater to her every need.  I am sure you do let her know - but your husband needs to realize your marriage will not last at its current state.  Signature:  A close friend :(

frequent fry her - Frustrated Wife 3 of 4 needed Posted: 24-MAY-01
PART THREE - Living In Hell.  If you've read parts 1 and 2, you probably think I am crazy, or on drugs, for helping this family.  First of all, I am TOO YOUNG to have to deal with this nonsense - I am only 25.  Second of all, I have a good marriage, and this family has definitely put a permanent dent into it.  So, as I explained before, we moved in and the trouble started instantly.  We are not only working jobs full time, but spending every free moment and every penny repairing this disaster of a house.  Now, DH and I had everything organized with our lawyer beforehand.  We CAN force MIL to leave (within 6 months) if she starts destroying things, just like a regular landlord/tenant agreement.  MIL was now in her new, FRESHLY PAINTED bedroom with brand new hardwood floors and brand new curtains (that I sewed).  Not a week went by and it looked EXACTLY like her old room!  I am NOT joking.  Garbage was overflowing, newspapers were strewn all over the bed, laundry was stinking in the corner.  Not to mention the cigarette smoke.  That is a story unto itself.  MIL is NOT supposed to smoke anywhere, not even outside.  That is the number ONE rule in our home.  DH has bad allergies and lung problems and cannot handle the smoke or the smell.  He had horrible respiratory problems as a child because of MIL's disgusting smoking.  FIL died of a 2nd massive heart attack.  The doctors warned her, after he got sick the first time, that he would die if she continued to smoke around him - and he did.  You see?  The b!tch just doesn't care about anyone except herself.  For the past year, she has been sneaking cigarettes (just like a teenager), and when DH confronts her, she lies to his face.  And it is obvious that she did smoke in the house.  Every time I came home from work my house reeked!!  Every time she got caught, she would stop for a week.  Then, the stupid b!tch would start lying to us over and over again about smoking.  Over the next few months it got progressively worse.  My DH and I keep our house in good condition.  We like it clean, and we gutted most of the house, so everything is brand new.  MIL thinks she is too good to do chores, and like SIL, she comes down with mysterious "illnesses" every time there is work to be done.  She says it is not her house, and that she doesn't have to help because she pays us rent.  $200 per month barely covers her fat @ss.  She is a total WASTE of electricity!  She wastes everything and expects us to buy her all the necessities.  She does not pick up the tab for anything - soda, toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste - ANYTHING!!  I eventually had to stop going to the supermarket all together.  Or, now I hide things in my car or at work.  She wants to know what she "GETS" for $200 a month.  More than her lazy, selfish @Ss would get anywhere else.  MIL also thinks that my DH should buy her things, like he was married to her!  Her car is on its last legs, and she wants us to help her buy a new one!  Well, that is too bad.  My DH and I both have old cars too.  But she pesters us about this constantly.  We can never come home to a positive home.  There is always a negative energy clouding over us.  And SIL and BIL have been totally obnoxious as well.  I will not answer my own phone, because I am afraid that they will be on the other end, and I do not wish to speak to them at all.  They call my DH on the phone and scream at him because they are jealous of us (they are really broke, what a surprise!) and accuse us of stealing MIL's money and their inheritance (no chance in hell there will be inheritance money for anyone!).  SIL also is an illogical b!tch and wants to know what her mother gets for her $200. rent also!!  BIL is all talk and NO action, and pesters us to buy her a car on a regular basis.  STUPID WHITE TRASH!!!  MIL was given her 6 months notice to leave the premises the end of February.  It is now the end of May, and so far MIL has made no plans to move out.  She is going to be one sorry b!tch.  To Be Continued.

        Signed - Frustrated Wife Part 3

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 3
Posted: 29-MAY-01
Wait until she is out for the day, and install a smoke alarm in her room.  If possible, hardwire it into the house wiring so there are no batteries to remove.  I guarantee that the first time she lights up and that thing goes off, her reaction will be worth the effort and cost!!  Tell her it stays, because she cannot be trusted to not burn the house (YOUR HOUSE) down with her smoking and her trash collecting.  Consider gluing or screwing the cover on so she can't just remove or sabotage it.  Maybe you could have your husband place it REALLY high on the wall where she cannot reach it.

frequent fry her - Frustrated Wife 4 of 4 needed Posted: 25-MAY-01
PART FOUR:  WILL THE STUPIDITY EVER END?  Well, I am in a better mood this morning, because the evil witch went away for the weekend.  Since I am not speaking to her, I didn't even know.  She just didn't come home last night, and I was hoping that she drove her car off a cliff or ran into a wall, but so far I haven't heard anything!  Not a day can go by that MIL doesn't do something absolutely STUPID!  My DH and I have caught her in so many lies that she can't even admit that she broke something in our house.  Before I tell you what she did this week - MIL almost hurt my dog 3 weeks ago!  We had construction on the outside of the house, and the workers left their equipment, as well as nails and sharp objects, on the back porch.  This a$$hole, who doesn't have a brain, let my dog out in the middle of this!!  Our dog could have gotten seriously injured!  On Monday, MIL had to get her cr@ppy car serviced.  She is too stupid to make decisions for herself, so she had the nerve to call my DH at work and ask him if he would help her (financially, of course)!!  For someone who does 0% and is a constant burden and annoyance, she has the nerve to continuously ask for help!  Especially after the comments about how we are her "landlords" and we are not entitled to any help around the house because she pays rent.  So DH said to her that "landlords" don't help their "tenants" fix their cars!  I almost died laughing when I heard this!!  But it didn't end there this week.  On Tuesday I came home from work and found a flood of water on my brand new carpet in the family room.  It is in the basement, right next to a new bathroom.  Well, this is the only spot in the basement that was wet - so I concluded that this nasty pig either overflowed the shower or toilet, and left the pool of water for me to clean up!  My brand new rug is still wet, and I have been drying it with fans and sucking up the water with a shop vac for 4 days!!  And the b!tch won't even admit that she did this!!!!  Can you believe I have an incident for Wednesday?  MIL left a message on our answering machine for my DH asking him if he could take the newspapers from her room and put them out for garbage collection!  I was furious, and left a note on her door which said, "LANDLORDS DON'T TAKE GARBAGE OUT OF THEIR TENANTS ROOM.  YOU HAVE ARMS AND LEGS, GIVE UP ALREADY!"  Pretty mean, right?  I was proud of myself, but MIL went away for the weekend, so she never saw it!  TOO BAD!  You see, she says that her DR. said that she can't lift anything because of her heart.  And the DR. said she can't smoke cigarettes either, but the nasty b!tch does that anyway!  GO FIGURE that one out!  We are having company this weekend and MIL made her bed so that, in case anyone sees her room, they won't think she is a nasty pig.  Who does she think she's fooling?  Does she think EVERYONE is as stupid and ignorant as she is?  After almost a year of this, I am stressed out, fed up, furious, angry, disgusted, hurt, and suicidal.  I am not speaking to her at all, and don't plan on it ever again.  I don't have any kids yet, but they are not going to be exposed to WHITE TRASH!

        Signed - Frustrated Wife Part 4

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 4
Posted: 28-MAY-01
Hello, I responded to part two (MIL who is selfish too).  You mention that you are 25 years old, and don't have any children yet.  At least you know, before hand, at a young age.  GET AWAY NOW.  I told you that I have the same damaging and negative MIL too.  I did not realize this at an early age like you.  Mine is 88 years old, in a nursing home, and still has a profound affect, with out knowing it.  You still have a chance, before she ruins or has a damaging affect on your marriage.  Find a place for her.  There are government agencies out there.  There are many ways that the elderly can have some kind of help, even if it is free fuel, medical, or what ever.  THEY ARE OUT THERE.  Thank god you do not have children yet.  Don't you think that they will have an affect on them too?  My daughter is grown now, BUT remembers things.  EXAMPLE:  She once told me (at age 25), "I love my grandmother, but I do not like her.  But I have to love her because she is my grandmother."  I am just telling you this because you STILL HAVE A CHANCE.  When I read how you felt (angry, disgusted, hurt, and suicidal, etc.), it brought back all the years of torment.  You will only get to be more and more and more resentful.  I hope that I have helped.

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 4
Posted: 31-MAY-01
My one question for frustrated wife is:  What in the h*ll are you doing living in the same house as your MIL???  That is your first mistake.  If you are married, you should most definitely be able to live on your own with your husband.  There is no excuse for you two to be living there.  This situation has LOSER written all over it.  Sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth.  Why don't you and your husband get your own place?  Then your complaints would certainly be justifiable.

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 4
Posted: 1-JUN-01
This is to the May 31st respondent.  If you read Frustrated Wife's stories before, you'd see that the MIL lives in THEIR home and not the other way around.  I just wanted to point that out.  Please don't be so quick to judge.  You don't know the full circumstances under which the MIL is living there in the first place.  Be supportive.

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 4
Posted: 3-JUN-01
My response is actually to the person who asked why you were living with your MIL.  If you read parts 1-3, then you would know that the MIL lives with them, not the other way around.  By the way, I liked the comment that someone made about installing a smoke detector in MIL's room.  I have an idea.  If she doesn't stop smoking in the house, then raise her rent.  Tell her it's to pay for the tobacco damage.

RESPONSE:  Frustrated Wife Part 4
Posted: 7-JUN-01
I have one piece of advice to give you.  Go back to your lawyer and get the papers ready to kick her out.  Sell the house and buy another one in another place (away from them).  And then, don't contact them anymore!


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