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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
Fry HerTM
Highstiletto
Age: 41 MIL Age: 65
Mother-in-Law from Hell!
With all due respect to those with mother-in-law
problems, I have yet to read anything that rises above amateur status.
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto /Posted: 27-DEC-02
I was very upset when my oldest baby girl was going
off to college. I had tried to plan in advance to deal with
the situation. I even prepared a spreadsheet with all the items
that she would ever need for an apartment. I gave a copy to
the relatives to aid in gift giving (they loved it due to the fact
that teenagers are hard to buy for, and after three years she had
everything on the list). It helped us both deal with the fact
she was going away to college. I tried very hard not to guilt
trip or express my fears or concerns at a time that was to be joyous
and an adventure for her, although she knew that I was hurting.
Men handle their children leaving in a different way. My male
coworkers and friends took every opportunity to give me a hard time.
But, some men are much smarter than others! A week prior to
leaving for college, a wise father of a friend of my DD arranged a
party. It was a nice event for the girls (no mothers) and the
object of the party was to get up and explain how nuts your mother
had become over the fact you were leaving the nest! One mother
redid the girl's room prior to her leaving (she had to sleep on the
couch for a week). Some cried every day. Some would get
upset for no reason. Others wanted their DD's with them 24/7.
Another just stayed in denial. One girl said that her mother
flew off the handle and would not allow her to keep a nail appointment
unless all the graduation thank you cards had been written.
The girl lied and said they were ready. That night, the girl
had to crawl into her parent's room to search for the cards
She finally found them under her mother's bed. She crawled out,
finished the cards, crawled back in, and then put them back!
The stories were great, and they helped all the girls and then their
mothers understand that it was okay. Fear and uncertainty are
normal - now get over it and get on with life! And, even better,
the university that my DD attended has a local mom's club. We
even sent them care packages during finals, etc. We were involved
without being intrusive. The moral of this story is that perhaps
mothers of sons who are about to get married could form a support
group. They could laugh at the stupid things they are thinking,
saying and doing, and then get on with life. And, then they
could start a MIL club and make items, prepare menus, buy underwear,
etc., for needy children.
Signed - Start A MIL Club
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto /Posted: 14-NOV-02
My DH and I were with some friends who asked if our
older daughters and their husbands would be at our home for the upcoming
holidays. We explained that we were not sure because we have
always made it very clear to them that holidays are a time of joy
and love, which means that you are not forced to visit. An "equal
number" of visits is not required, and not all holidays are required
to be at our home. Our friends looked at us as if we were from
another planet. They immediately began relaying all the horror
stories of the holidays. We had equally horrible stories of
Christmas past, having to rewrap gifts because our children had more
packages than their cousins, fighting, and traveling four hundred
miles to stay in the smallest home that was kept at 82 degrees (with
one bathroom) because it was "tradition". We vowed
never to do this to our own children! We want to see our children,
but we do not want there to be any stress - visit if you can.
If you are pressured from the other side, do what you have to do and
put us last. Freeways travel in both directions - we can come
visit you. I have never understood why a couple would be expected
to travel with a baby or small children just "because Christmas
is ALWAYS" at the grandparents' home. If one family member
has a new home and wants to show it off, we can all meet there.
Traditions do not have to translate to "cruel and unusual torture
just to please the family". So, before making plans for
the upcoming holidays (and this web site is overrun with horror stories
of family get togethers), stop and think. If the mere thought
of what is meant to be a joyous time sends chills up your spine, do
not do it. If every year you return to work with a new story
of the he!! you just went through, start a new tradition of being
happy. Do not waste money to be miserable. Stay at home
with your children, with friends, or just the two of you. Break
the news now, and get it out of the way so it does not ruin the holidays.
My sister and her husband always invite people to their home who can
not be with their families or who have no family. You would
be surprised how refreshing it is to spend time with people who put
no pressure on you, and it is fun to meet their new guest. When
friends ask, "how was your holiday", you can reply, "Great.
No stress, no fighting, no re-wrapping presents, no eating awful food
to please anyone, no long hours in the car fighting because we know
what is waiting at the other end, no waiting in line for a bathroom.
We mailed the gifts. We will see the family in January when
there is less traffic. We plan on doing it again next year."
Happy Holidays.
Signed - Happy Holidays
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto /Posted: 30-SEP-02
I have book marked this site. Reading the other
stories has helped reduce the pain and anger of putting up with so
much for so long. Reading "Tired of Junk" reminded
me of a "letter" I wrote myself and sent to my MIL.
My MIL is the queen of cheap (saves bread wrappers, hot dog packages
that zip, keeps the AC at 80 degrees, etc.). Her gifts always
suck, but I never took it personally. My SIL, who lived with
her parents, needed a few items, so I bought them and sent them in
a care package. I had to wrap them in plain brown paper to cover
up the print on the box. To add humor to the package, I added
a label stating "Due to the adult nature of your purchase, it
has been enclosed in a plain brown wrapper". My MIL ended
up having to go to the post office to pick it up. In exchange,
my MIL sent me some envelope from a gag gift store that read "Sex
Manual Enclosed". Not to be outdone by an amateur, I sent
her a "letter" back. The letter talked about how the
children where doing in school, and was enclosed in a four foot long
drafting tube. At the end of the tube was half an egg shaped
pantyhose container. I covered the tube with the plastic egg
at one end with ribbed shipping tape. I created labels for the
tube which included phrases such as "Do not remove ribbed sheathing
- it is there for your protection and pleasure", "Teflon
coated tip for ease in insertion", "12 'D' batteries or
220 volt required", and my favorite, "We do not guarantee
satisfaction - we sell it". Needless to say, the postman
could not leave a four foot long tube in my MIL's mailbox, so she
had to go down to the post office to pick it up. When she arrived
to pick up her "letter", the entire staff was laughing,
and everyone came out to the front to see who was picking up the package.
My MIL had to leave the post office with a "letter" that
had a return address of 1000 Vibration Way (I did not want the package
being returned to sender!). When my MIL called (after 11pm -
when the rates drop), she made small talk and then stated, "You
win." It did not make our relationship any better, but
I have at least one memory that I can look back and smile at!
Signed - One Smile
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 3-AUG-02
Legitimate. My youngest daughter was four months
of age when my in-laws came to visit. My baby girl was not receptive
to my MIL, but would go to my FIL. This fact did not sit well
with my MIL, who was accustomed to having all the grandchildren prefer
her over their grandfather. In front of the whole family, she
sat on the floor and explained to the child, "One day, you will
understand that it is okay to love me." No one responded
to her statement. Unable to get a rise out of anyone, my MIL
questioned me on the legitimacy of my daughter. I quickly responded
with, "Who are you kidding? This is the only child of our
four children that is your son's."
Signed - Satan Is Proud
of my MIL
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 3-AUG-02
This is a sad, horrible story. But sadly, it
is true. We believe my MIL's brother acted sexually inappropriately
with several of the children in the family. My MIL was informed
of this by her own daughter, yet she took no action and invited him
to all family events. I found out about the whole thing while
at dinner prior to Christmas. My widowed SIL had remarried a
wonderful man who loved and supported my SIL and her sons. But,
he was not accepted by my MIL. At the time, we were all laughing
about the Christmas letter my MIL had sent out, and all the horrible
things she had written about the in-laws. I asked about the
annual family Christmas party. This one question set the whole
thing off. My SIL was very proud of her new home, and wanted
the Christmas party at her home. She informed her mother that
her uncle would not be allowed in her home, to which the b!tch replied,
"Get over it. It is not like you did not participate."
My SIL was five years old when we believe the abuse began. At
this point, my SIL began to explain that for the last twelve years,
she had been attempting to get her parental unit to stop seeing this
man, but my MIL refused. Stories too graphic to write unfolded.
Worse are the stories of how she got her mother to a counselor's office,
only to BEG her not to visit her brother, or allow him to be around
her. The evil b!tch never gave in. Her pride outweighed
everything, including her own children. I became physically
sick, and could not even breath. I hated my MIL, but now my
problems seemed like nothing. My husband, who never defended
me against his mother, final stepped in. After calling his parents
and discussing the situation with them (and getting nowhere), he flew
down to their home, picked up his sister, and went over to his parent's
home. After four hours of arguing with his mother to disown
her brother, the b!tch reluctantly gave in. My MIL wanted to
end her relationship with her brother in a counselor's office.
We were told that at the meeting, this man (who worked at a school)
proudly revealed the fact that he had been physically, sexually inappropriate
with my SIL at age five. The scum left the room without a mark
on him. The school district was contacted, and after sending
a notarized letter, he was fired. Needless to say, my MIL's
response to my husband was, "I bet your wife loves this - now
she has something on me."
Signed - Now I Have Something
On Her?
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 3-AUG-02
Thanksgiving dinner: On Thanksgiving of 1987,
all the sisters of my DH were at my in-law's home with their possessions
(husbands and children). I had been married less than a year,
and did my best to please my DH's family, regardless of how they treated
me or my daughter. I am a huge football fan, but missed the
games because I was helping to prepare dinner in someone else's home.
The day started with being lectured on bringing a basket to the family.
I was raised that it is proper to bring a gift of some type when you
are a guest in someone's home, even if it is a relative. I witnessed
my six foot tall BIL ask permission from his five foot by five foot
wife to watch his college alumni football game. Permission was
granted - provided he watch the game in the back room on the black
and white television, and that he remain quiet. He was obedient,
not a word was heard from the back room. My DH was watching
a football game in the living room, while his father was busy in the
yard (he had already watched his one game). I informed my DH
that dinner was ready, to which he replied, "I will take it in
here." I knew he had not meant it the way it sounded, and
that he assumed we would watch the games together. I went in
to the kitchen to prepare a plate for myself and DH. My SILs
and MIL stopped me and said, "No woman serves a man in this house.
If you bring him that plate, we will eat outside." It should
be noted that none of the women in my DH's family are educated or
have a full time job. Although I am an Architect and Engineer,
I was not serving a man - I was being kind. I finished preparing
the plate, and took it to my DH. We ate alone in the house,
while the rest of the family ate outside in the cold and drizzling
rain. This same bored, frustrated, no life of their own group
does not allow their father to call his only son "son",
because the four of them are not called daughter. After all
the football games were over, the rest of what was once considered
"men" were allowed back in the living room. That was
until my DH put in the movie Top Gun. My SIL started slamming
cabinet doors. My BIL slid into the kitchen to find out what
he had done wrong. His wife yelled, "Do you have a F@#@ing
death wish? How dare you watch a football game and a macho movie
in the same day." My ball-less BIL sat in the back room
reading until all the "man movies" were over. That
evening, my MIL and SILs stayed up to "discuss" me at a
level that I could hear. When they were confronted about it
by my DH, their response was, "She should have been asleep by
then. It is not our fault that she can hear well."
This is not the worst event by any means, but at least it was one
of the funniest. Needless to say, it has been downhill from
there.
Signed - It Has Been Downhill
From There
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 3-AUG-02
After not getting her way with my DH, my MIL, who knows
I am Catholic, and that I do not use birth control, told her son that
she had seen birth control pills in my purse. And, according
to her, this was back when we were "trying for a son".
I informed her that having sex on her living room floor did not count
as "trying to have a son". And also, that as a good
mother, she should have informed him at the time.
Signed - She Should Have
Informed Him Back Then
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- highstiletto /Posted: 3-AUG-02
Evil to Children. I had been married once prior,
and I had a nine year old daughter when I married my husband.
DH had custody of his two daughters from a previous marriage.
All the girls had birthdays within six weeks of each other.
While visiting at my in-laws, my MIL gave gifts to my husband's two
daughters, but not my daughter. And she did this right in front
of her. Needless to say, my nine year old daughter was upset.
I explained that because she was new to the family, they did not know
her likes or her sizes. And I said that they had given me fifty
bucks to go get her a gift. I said something to my DH about
the incident. He brought the subject up to his mother, who responded,
"I am not required to buy everyone a gift." This was
the first time I realized what type of family I had married into,
and that anyone could treat children unkindly. Until my daughter
was eighteen years old, I bought birthday and Christmas gifts, and
signed them from my in-laws. They may be trash, but I am not.
After getting over the anger that anyone could threat a child this
way, I have learned to thank God that I am not that selfish or shallow,
and that I actually receive pleasure in giving to others. My
husband never corrected his mother, and never defended my child.
He always placed the responsibility on my shoulders to make it right
with his mother. It was not until his daughters were old enough
to marry that it impacted his life. He did not want his girls
treated the way I had been treated. He assured our daughters
that if I ever acted like his mother, he would shoot me. In
defense of MIL, my first husband's mother never excluded me or our
child, even after the divorce. She blamed her son and his infidelity
for the divorce, and has always welcomed both of us into her home
to this very day. I have friends whose wives and mothers are
great friends. Being a MIL does not make a person an evil selfish
b!tch. Being an evil selfish b!tch makes a person a bad MIL.
Signed - Evil to Children
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives