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How Did He Turn Out So Nice
Age: 26    MIL Age: 50

How did my husband turn out so nice?

frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice/Posted: 6-SEP-07
There was an incredible mishap at our wedding with our photographs.  A dear friend of ours (DH's former roommate) chose to do our photography as a gift to us.  We do not know what went wrong, but we have absolutely no photos of our ceremony (there are photos of the reception and the family).  That is heartbreaking, but I do not hold it against our friend, who must feel terrible about it.  PIL knew about the situation.  We couldn't hide the fact that we had no photos.  PIL, over the years, have claimed to know the TRUE story about what happened.  Mainly the stories are about how incompetent our friend was with the camera.  The stories they come up with, that they swear by, are false.  They just don't add up.  I don't know what really happened, but I am happier not dwelling on it, as it is sad for me.  Even worse than PIL's insensitive "explanations" is their accusations that we were holding out on them and not giving them copies of EVERY photo we did get.  I don't know what gives them a right to ALL the photos, but we gave them copies of all of them anyway.  After a tantrum about how we are keeping photos from her, we made another entire set for MIL.  We showed her our album, to have her point out any that she was missing.  Eventually, the accusations about not giving them photos stopped.  About 4 years later, BIL got married and moved out.  Shortly afterwards, MIL casually mentioned that she had come across our wedding photos and realized that she had TWO copies of them, so she gave a set to BIL.  I am woman enough to not say, "I told you so," but inside I was fuming.

        Signed - Wedding Photo Disaster
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frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice/Posted: 4-SEP-07
While MIL was visiting, she asked DH why he did not return his father's phone call.  DH explained that he did not get a voicemail message, and asked when it was left.  MIL continued arguing that DH was not grateful, and it was very disrespectful to not return phone calls.  DH offered to prove that he did not receive the message, and showed her the phone history (we have caller ID).  She did not believe him, and worked herself up into a tantrum, screaming and hollering about how her sons disrespect her.  Then she stormed out of the house, slamming the door.  DH hadn't even raised his voice.  He had simply tried to explain that if he had received the voicemail, he would have returned it.  Later, over the phone, we had to explain again to FIL that the voicemail was not received, and that we had done nothing to provoke MIL's rampage.  DH had to apologize for being defensive enough to show the phone history.

        Signed - Perhaps I Edit Call History To Bug MIL? Is That Possible?
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frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 30-AUG-07
A year and a half after my now DH and I started seeing each other, I found myself without a home to go to after my college semester ended for the summer.  My parents were in the process of moving at the time.  Since I had no ties anywhere, it made sense to me to live for the summer in the town where DH lived with his family.  I found a nice couple who allowed me to room and board with them.  DH's mother threw a fit.  She claimed that it was wrong of me to move to that town so soon after her mother's death (which was about 6 months earlier).  I still do not understand what was wrong with moving to that town.  What did that have to do with her mother's death?  Was she in denial that her son had a GF?  It wasn't like I moved into her house.  That summer, DH came over for supper at the house where I was staying.  As a courtesy, he phoned his parents to say that he would not be home for supper (he was almost 22 years old).  They were furious.  They told him that they would not accept being treated like a hotel, and they kicked him out of the house that night, right after supper!  A couple of days later, my FIL asked DH why he never visited them.  They had kicked him out of the house, not their LIVES after all.  So, that Saturday he and I drove to their house.  They asked him why he didn't CALL first.  Then, they told him not to bring his chaperone next time.  And, they wonder why I can be bitter sometimes.  Later that summer, we got engaged.  And, you thought things were bad before?!

        Signed - Just The "Chaperone" That Interrupted Her Mourning
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frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 30-AUG-07
MIL has some issues with paranoia.  She believes that, not only is HER phone bugged, but ours is as well.  Why does she think hers is bugged?  Because sometimes when she answers it, no one is there.  Also, when her DH called from a particular phone at a former place of work, the phone number didn't come up on her caller ID, or it came up as another number.  It only happened while he was at work.  Why does she think ours is bugged?  Because sometimes when she calls us, there is a quiet beep.  Sometimes there are three consecutive beeps.  Funny, this always happens when someone is calling me on the other line.  Could the beeps have anything to do with that?  MIL believes that someone broke into her house and tampered with the alarm system.  Hmmm, why would someone do that?  Are they coming back to rob them at a more convenient time?  MIL believes that people are following her.  One evening, she sat in her car with my DH in an empty parking lot.  Periodically, different cars would come into the parking lot and turn around and drive away.  Surely they were all a part of a greater conspiracy to eavesdrop on her conversation with her eldest son.  It isn't possible that they were just turning around, looking for a friend, or checking the store hours on the building.  MIL believes her house is bugged, to the point that she requested DH (who installs security cameras on the side) to come to her house and SWEEP for bugs!  This would make a great movie, but it isn't fun to actually live.  Perhaps I am the mastermind behind the conspiracy to drive her nuts?

        Signed - This Message Will Self-destruct In 5..4..3..
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frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 30-AUG-07
When we were preparing for our wedding 5 years ago, my ILs were not pleased with the timing of the wedding (and, perhaps the choice of bride-to-be?).  MIL actually suggested that she had a hunch that we were already married, and just hadn't told her yet.  Huh?  If we had eloped, why would I then go through the stress of planning a wedding with the ILs?  If only that were the end of it.  MIL had pages of questions to ask us in her attempt to stop the wedding.  The questions included things such as whether or not we had life insurance.  Grasping at straws here?  MIL later visited my parents with a list of similar questions.  My mother later phoned me and claimed that, after the wedding, she would never speak with my ILs again.  She didn't keep that promise, but probably wishes she had.

        Signed - You're Stuck With Me Now!
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frequent fry her - How Did He Turn Out So Nice Frequent Fry Her TM - HowDidHeTurnOutSoNice, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 4-SEP-07
MIL came over to our house one day.  While she commented about having trouble buying a new microwave (she wants one that is abnormally large), DH calmly asked her, "Why do you need such a big one anyway?  Ours is plenty big enough for all of our dishes."  She flipped out and said, "You never complained about my cooking while you were growing up!"  Huh?  Who said anything about her cooking?  Sensitive much?  The arguments didn't end there that night.

        Signed - Enjoys MILs Cooking
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The Sister Knot, Apter
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Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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