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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
Fry HerTM
Can You Say "Hypocrite"
Age: 21 MIL Age: 48
Australia
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite"
/Posted: 16-OCT-02
Phone calls seem to be a popular theme here.
My DF and I both work long hours and have lots of commitments.
Generally, at least one of us leaves at 6:00 am, so we like to keep
late phone calls (past 10:00 PM) to a minimum. Obviously, emergency
calls are OK FFIL works shift work, and generally likes to do
the night shift because he has nothing to do, apart from making phone
calls and playing on the internet (what an inspiring career choice).
One night, my partner and I had both been up since 5:30 am, and we
had gone to bed early (about 8:00 PM). Both sets of parents
knew that this was the case, so you think they'd avoid calling us
for no reason - wrong. At 10:30 PM, the phone started ringing.
We were both too startled to get it, and it went to the machine.
The caller hung up. Fifteen minutes later (just as we were falling
asleep) the same thing happened. DF then took the cordless phone
into our room and pounced on in when it rang again (at 11:00 PM).
It was FFIL, who wanted to know why we hadn't answered the phone previously.
DF reminded him that we had a busy week and that we had been asleep
when he called. Instead of apologizing, FFIL then wanted to
know if DF had paid his car insurance (WHICH WAS DUE IN 6 WEEKS!!!).
DF explained that no, he hadn't paid it yet. But, seeing as
he had a month and a half to do so, he didn't think it would be a
problem. Finally, he got him off the phone by explaining that
we were both very tired and needed to get some rest. Then, we
went back to sleep. About 15 minutes later (11:30 PM, grrr)
the phone rang again! It was FFIL asking if it was OK for FSIL
and her boyfriend to stay over at our apartment when they were in
the city that weekend. I had to get up at 4:00 am for a 6:00
am flight the next day, and I was furious. Why do we need to
discuss plans for the weekend on a MONDAY NIGHT? And, anyway,
FSIL is 22. Surely she can call us all by herself (not that
we have ever refused to let them use our place as a hotel).
I went to bed after putting the phone under a mattress in the spare
bedroom, and both DF and I turned our cell phones off. Surely
enough, the next morning there were two messages on the answering
machine. If this isn't the most pathetic behavior from a grown
man, I don't know what is. I'm sure he's lonely. But,
as I said, he gets to choose which shift he takes - and he always
picks the graveyard shift. It is yet another example of how
little respect they have for us running our own lives. For his
birthday, he's getting some thick books with a card that reads, "read
when you're lonely at work".
Signed - Calling Courtesy
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite"
/Posted: 14-OCT-02
So, here we go again. As I previously mentioned,
I left my job earlier this year to move into another industry.
I saved up so that I could afford to take up to two months off, and
made sure I had established contacts in the field I wanted to move
into. All in all, I took 6 weeks off - 1 month as a long overdue
holiday (the longest break I'd had since 10th grade, and I'm now 22),
and two weeks for interviewing, etc. I've since landed a dream
job that will allow me to do what I love, for a company that looks
after its staff. And, just for the record, it pays a whole lot
more. Anyway, every day for 6 weeks I was getting calls from
my FILs asking, "Have you gotten a job yet?" As I
said, I had carefully planned this move, and at no stage was I ever
in any financial trouble, nor did I ever ask them for help.
They would also demand a running commentary on what interviews I had,
what I had applied for, and how much they were paying. None
of this was any of their damned business!! Sure, I appreciate
their interest in me, but it felt more like I was being assessed.
What's more, it has been routinely mentioned that I don't like talking
about money because I was brought up to believe it was impolite.
Anyway, the best thing is that FSIL, who is ok (just a spoilt lazy
princess who is indulged her every whim), was made redundant 3 months
ago. Her last day is this Friday. And, to this day, she
still has nothing lined up and she has not had a single interview.
So many times when we have been together and I've been subjected to
my usual financial assessments, I've been tempted to ask, "So,
have you got a job yet???" But I, for one, have too much
class.
Signed - So, Have You Gotten
A Job Yet???
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite"
/Posted: 10-OCT-02
As I've mentioned, my FMIL lives a few hours away from
us, but she makes up for it with constant visits. Earlier this
year I had been quite ill, and that coincided with one of her visits.
The type of visit where she gets DF to drive her all around the city,
in her car (not that she is incapable of doing it herself, she just
likes to monopolize his time for the day) so that she can visit suppliers,
etc. On this particular day I had been scheduled in to have
several blood tests, and various other examinations. As I said,
I had been ill for some time, so I was worn out. And, I'm not
too fond of blood tests (or anything too medical), and get very queasy.
FMIL refused to let DF take me to these tests, instead, she suggested,
"Walk to them, as the doctor's office is only a few block away."
Or, "Can't one of her friends take her." This was on the
morning of the medical appointments, so I had to call one of my friends
and give her about 10 seconds notice that she would be playing taxi
because my FMIL said, "I am not going to give up a day with my
son because you don't look after yourself."
Signed - She is the One
Who is Sick
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite"
/Posted: 5-OCT-02
Last week, while visiting his parents, my DF spoke
to them about how I'm not comfortable discussing money, not because
it is a sensitive issue (it isn't), but because I was brought up to
believe that asking someone questions is impolite, and that saying,
"So how much do you earn" is akin to "So how much do
you weigh". We thought that if he stated that he understood
that they were only (supposedly) saying it out of concern, but that
we would prefer that they didn't mention it, then they would act like
adults and respect our wishes. No such luck. FMIL was
staying with us again, and I was wearing a new outfit that I had treated
myself to. The first thing out of her mouth wasn't, "That
looks nice," or, "Is that new??", it was, "So,
how much did that cost? I hope you're earning more money now,
because I'd hate to think that you're buying things you cant afford."
HOW DARE SHE!!! As I have said, I have never ever asked her
for money, or even given them reason to suspect that I am not capable
of managing financially (and, truth be told, I earn more than she
does). Yet, she feels that when she is staying in my house,
she has a right to interrogate me. And, this was 5 days after
my DF explained that he would appreciate it if she stopped asking
about money. Later that day, DF approached her, and she denied
making any such comment. She said that I was making things up,
and only doing it to drive them apart, because I didn't think they
were good enough. DF replied, "I think you're the one that's
doing that mum," and now she is in tears and dreadfully distressed.
Our wedding is in 12 months. My parents have said that they
will cover all costs as our wedding present. So, stay tuned
for the dramas that are sure to flow.
Signed - Here We Go Again
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite"
/Posted: 5-OCT-02
Why is it that some women who have naturally tiny daughters
feel the need to publicize the fact, as though it is something they
did??? My FSIL is a tiny woman. It is not because she
diets or exercises (she doesn't), it is because she was born that
way. I'm not as small as she is, but I am by no means overweight.
I take care of myself and exercise regularly. I think I'm about
a size 7, and my FSIL is a 4. MY FMIL is a large woman, and
I have no problem with that (my mother is too), but my FMIL makes
an effort to constantly comment on how tiny FSIL is. If were
looking at old photos, she says, "Look at how small my DD (FSIL)
is." Or when we watch old family movies, she says, "Look
at DD(FSIL)'s tiny waist. What a skinny girl." She
constantly compares our clothes, and makes mention of the fact that
I can't fit into her clothing. Not that I have ever tried, nor
do I want to. Apart from the fact that I'm about a foot and
a half taller than my FSIL, our bodies are completely different.
And, I like my curves, and the fact that I don't get mistaken for
an adolescent (a common complaint for FSIL). But FMIL doesn't
get it. My DF was wonderful yesterday. When we were visiting
the dressmaker for the wedding, FMIL started in again, comparing the
dresses by holding them up against each other to outline the difference.
Just as she was starting on her "Haven't I got a wonderfully
thin daughter" rant, DF said, "Mum, I don't know why you're
doing this. I don't really want to marry someone who looks like
my sister." The best part was that when FMIL was trying
on her outfit, she split two seams. It has to be let out 2 inches.
Signed - Sizing Things
Up
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite", 1 of 4 needed
/Posted: 17-SEP-02
My fiancé's parents are driving me insane.
They are obsessed with money, and always make a point of asking how
much things cost. My fiancé and I are doing quite well,
so it's not as if we're relying on them to support us. And,
as far as I'm concerned, it is between me and the IRS. Last
year, I was talking to my FMIL about my job (which I hated, but paid
well) She was more concerned about how much I was earning.
When she asked how much I was earning, I was taken aback. But
told her all the same (and I know for a fact that it is more than
she earns by a long shot). Her response was, "That is not
really enough, is it?" At the start of this year, I left
my horrible job to move into a different industry. I planned
(and saved) so that I could take a month off to wind down, relax,
and really explore my options, without having to worry about money.
I should also point out that I waited until their son (my fiancé)
had settled down, work-wise, after a few months of freelancing (whilst
he established himself). Every day for six weeks they called.
And, when I answered the phone, they wouldn't say "Hello".
They just said, "Have you gotten a job yet?" When
I finally landed my dream job, the first question was, "So, how
much are you earning?" I responded with, "Oh, about
double what your daughter is earning. But I expect that it will
be a lot more once I establish myself." Funnily enough,
she has been quiet ever since.
Signed - Love Don't Cost
a Thing
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite", 2 of 4 needed
/Posted: 18-SEP-02
My MIL is forever making snide comments about the fact
that I don't usually cook. There are a few reasons for this:
A) DF is a great cook and loves to spend time in the kitchen.
B) DF usually gets home a good 2-3 hours before I do.
C) I've never really enjoyed cooking, so why not let the one
who is good at it, enjoys it, and is home with plenty of time to do
so, cook. Instead, would she rather that DH wait until I get
home, and have me cook something uninspired and generally unappealing????
For my 21st birthday, she gave me a lovely present - a book called
"How to cook for Men". She said, "Now you can
cook for my son." Her birthday is next week, she is getting
a diet and exercise book (she's a bit on the heavy side), and the
comment will be, "Now you can fit into your clothes."
Signed - Calling the Kettle
Black
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite", 3 of 4 needed
/Posted: 18-SEP-02
I've had enough. My FMIL is a designer, but she
lives about two hours away from the city (where we live). So
she is constantly coming down to do business, go to parades, etc.,
etc. Sometimes, she drives home, but most of the time she stays
overnight. I'm not begrudging her this, but it happens almost
every few weeks. As our apartment is small, one extra person
makes all the difference, and it is usually uncomfortable. But,
my biggest issue is the way that she behaves. I'll put this
up front - we have two different personalities. Because of my
work, I am generally fairly organized, and like to plan for things
in advance. I was also brought up to take pride in my things.
And, without being a neat-nick, I'm not comfortable in a lot of mess.
FMIL is the most disorganized, messy, and generally haphazard person.
So, when she tells us that she is coming down for a particular event,
we'll make arrangements - only to be told, the day before (or even
that afternoon), that she has gotten the date wrong, or she has forgotten
something. This happens 95% of the time. Last week she
asked if she could stay on Wednesday night of this week, and we told
her that it wouldn't be a problem. I made the necessary plans
to stay at a friend's house coincidentally, so that we wouldn't get
under each other's skin. Monday, she called to say that she
wouldn't be staying because she had an appointment. So, I decided
to come home after dinner so that I could spend time with my DF.
I went to work on Wednesday without a change of clothes, etc.
And, I was told at 2pm that she would be staying over tonight.
So, I had to come home. And, on these visits, she always makes
helpful suggestions like, "What is wrong with that light fitting,"
or, "What are you doing about those tiles," or, "Is
that dust, my goodness." And, let me remind you that housekeeping
is not one of her strong points. I swear, she hasn't ironed
or vacuumed in about 6 years, and their house looks like a bomb hit
it. But, I was taught that it was bad manners to comment on
these things when you are a guest in someone's house. This might
not be too much of a problem, but as I said, it happens every few
weeks. My partner and I are both very busy, and it is not often
that our schedules match. So, I don't want to waste time hiding
at a friend's house because I'm afraid that I'll kill his mother.
Signed - I'm Afraid That
I'll Kill His Mother
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Can You Say "Hypocrite", 4 of 4 needed
/Posted: 28-SEP-02
Earlier this year I was quite unwell, and this coincided
with one of the FMIL's many visits. For diagnosis, I had to
go to the doctor's office several times that day to have various blood
tests, etc. Obviously I couldn't drive myself because I was
unwell, and would be feeling a bit weak after the tests. Upon
hearing of this, the FMIL demanded that DF still be able to drive
her around town on her various errands. She is 45 for god's
sake, and drives all the time. I don't see why she needed him.
She curtly told me to get a friend to take me because she "needed
her son".
Signed - Diagnosis Murder
( I
want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
Page )
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Working Women Don't Have Wives