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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 22    MIL Age: 44

My MIL drives me crazy, but DH doesn't care.

frequent fry her - Kezziah Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah /Posted: 17-DEC-02
MIL is guilt tripping DH into calling her.  He gets busy and doesn't have time to call her, or he does call her but she never returns the calls.  Then, she sends him an e-mail or a letter asking him if he is mad at her because he hasn't called.  She could pick up the phone herself and try to call him, but she doesn't ever want to talk to me.  So, I guess calling here would mean that there was chance that I would answer (she doesn't know that we have caller ID and I WILL NOT answer if her number pops up).  I guess she forgets that he is in the military, so he isn't home a lot.  And, when he is home, he wants to spend time with DS and I.  Right before her last letter to him, I told him to call her, because he hadn't called her in a while.  He told me that he would call her next year.  I left it at that, since he is a grown man and can decide for himself if he wants to call mommy dearest or not.  But, she thinks he can't make that decision on his own.  When is she going to see that he is grown now?!  I wish she would, just once, think that she is just as able to pick up the phone as he is.  We did find out what happened to DS's birthday present (that was supposedly already in the mail 6 months ago).  She never sent it, because she didn't have the money to send it.  Plus, she was afraid that I would laugh at her because what she bought for him was too big for him to wear.  That is perfectly understandable.  I know what hard times are like.  I just want to know why she lied and said that it was already in the mail.  She could have just told us that she didn't have the money to send it, and I would have understood.  The truth I can understand, but I just can't understand the lies.  And, I don't understand why she would think that I would laugh at it being too big.  It just means that DS can't wear it now, but he can grow into it.

        Signed - He Can Grow Into It

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah /Posted: 6-JUL-02
This is to respond to those who responded to my post on June 14, 2002, being sick of my MIL's lies.  A few of you asked how old my son is, and said that I was rude to let him throw a perfectly good toy in the garbage.  My son is 2, and the toy he threw away was NOT a perfectly good toy.  Furthermore, I was not the one who let him throw it in the garbage.  My DH was.  When she gave the toy to him, it did not work.  So we thought that maybe the batteries just needed to be changed.  It still didn't work after we tried to change the batteries 3 different times.  He may be young, but he knew it was supposed to do something.  And when it didn't work, he threw it away.  I was not even home at the time.  The toy was also not in very good condition.  It was all beaten up, and very inappropriate for his age.  I don't mind used things - I buy him things from yard sales and thrift stores.  But, I don't buy things that look like they may fall apart if you touch them.  And, I don't like toys that are supposed to do something, but don't work.  If the things she gave him were for an older child, that would be okay too.  But most of the things she gives him are things for a 6 month old.  I do not think it is rude of me to want him to have toys that aren't falling apart and that work, considering the fact that her great-niece and great-nephews get toys that are in great shape, and work.  She should treat her grandson the same way.  The whole point of my post was that she had to lie about his birthday gift being in the mail when she called him on his birthday.  And, now it is more than a month later, and there is still no sign of it.

        Signed - Still No Sign Of It

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah /Posted: 6-JUL-02
I am so tired of MIL going behind my back to complain about me.  I left her wedding reception at around 9 pm because DS was only a year old at the time.  His bedtime was 8 PM, and he was getting cranky.  She, her sister, and their mother complained to everyone, except DH and I, that I left early.  DH is military, so he is gone quite a bit.  And, sometimes DS acts up when his daddy isn't home.  He won't eat or take naps, and all he wants to do it scream and cry for his daddy.  It drives me nuts, because I can't get him to do anything else, and it has been mentioned to MIL.  Just recently, it has been brought to our attention that MIL is going around telling people about it, and saying what a good boy my DS is for driving me crazy (and not his daddy).  I find it very rude of her, but I guess it just shows what she thinks of me since DH and I got married.

        Signed - Just Shows What She Thinks Of Me

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah /Posted: 14-JUN-02
Okay, so DS's birthday has come and gone.  MIL did call on his birthday.  She didn't bother talking to him though, and he loves talking on the phone.  She stayed on the phone with DH for a whole 2 minutes.  She told DH that DS's birthday present was in the mail, and that we should get it by the end of the week.  Well, it still hasn't come yet.  I don't expect her to send DS a gift for his birthday (in fact, I would prefer that she didn't, because he hates the toys she gets him, and throws them in the garbage himself), but if she says it is already in the mail, then I am going to watch for it.  If she didn't have anything for him, or had something and just had not sent it yet, then she could have just said so - instead of saying that it was already in the mail.  DH asked me last night if it had come yet.  I told him, "No."  He said that she told him, on DS's birthday, that it was already in the mail.  I told him that she might have said that, but we had not received it yet.  DH then said that he didn't believe that his mother had even bought a gift for DS, let alone already had it in the mail.  DH thinks she just said it was already in the mail to make herself look better.  She has called twice since DS's birthday, but hasn't asked once if he has received his gift.  So, that tells us that she never sent it.  I'm fine with her not sending him something, but I just can't stand the fact that she lied about it.  I am so sick of her lies.

        Signed - Sick Of Her Lies

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah 1 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 15-MAY-02
My MIL drives me so crazy.  She is always going back on promises, and lying about everything!  For starters, when I was pregnant with my son, both my mother and MIL had planned to come to my house (they both live in another state).  Then, they decided it would be better (and cheaper for them) if they both just chipped in for a plane ticket for me to go there.  This way, I could stay longer, and they wouldn't be spending as much money.  Well, I had the baby, and it took almost a week to get a hold of my MIL just to let her know that her first grandchild was born (we had left messages on her machine, paged her, and even tried her cell phone).  When it came time to get my plane ticket, she didn't have her half for it, but she had taken a trip to another state for no reason at all after she had made the promise of paying for half of my ticket.  My mom paid the whole thing.  After we got there, my MIL didn't show much interest in her grandchild.  DH, my son, and I were all at her house on my son's first birthday.  SHE FORGOT HIS BIRTHDAY because her wedding was the same day!  She even got mad because her family members were paying attention to my son before and after her wedding.  She just didn't want him to be in the spotlight.  Okay, so I was still back there (but staying with my parents) for 2 months after my son's birthday.  I tried to get a hold of MIL so I could bring DS to visit her.  I left several messages on her machine, and even tried her cell phone.  I finally got in touch with her through an e-mail 2 weeks before I left.  And, then she only saw him once before we left - ONCE in 2 months!  DH had left her house a week after he got there because he had to go back to work.  The day he left, DS was running a fever of 104 degrees.  I was supposed to download something at my mom's for MIL.  Well, MIL called twice that day.  Both times she asked if I had downloaded the thing for her yet, but she didn't even ask how my son was doing, and she knew he was running a high fever.

        Signed - Fed up DIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah 2 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 16-MAY-02
My MIL told DH and I that she and her new hubby were coming to visit us.  Then, she turned around and told DH (online), that they were not coming out, because she can't stand the thought of being patted down by airport security.  Two weeks later, DH called her to see what was going on, and she and step-FIL had just gotten back from a trip to see SFIL's brother.  And, they flew to see him!  I was very upset that she could fly to see her BIL, but couldn't fly to see her only child and only grandchild.  She then called my house a week later and asked if DH was home.  I told her he wasn't, and I started to say something about my son before she could even say anything.  She cut me off as soon as she heard my son's name, and said, "Oh, well, I gotta go."  Why would she call my house, only to have to go 2 minutes after I answer the phone?  My husband was on the phone with her for an hour one night (we were paying for the call) talking about her life.  And, as soon as he brought up our son, she had to get off the phone.  She never wants to hear about her grandchild.  It really makes me mad that she doesn't show much interest in my son.  I know it is hard since we live in separate states, but my parents live in the same state as she does, and they are very active in my son's life, despite the distance.

        Signed - She Never Wants To Hear About Her Grandchild

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah 3 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 17-MAY-02
My MIL can never seem to remember my last name, and neither does her sister, even though they both have the same last name (my DH has MIL maiden name).  She has only had that name for 40 something years.  The whole family (or, I should say most) act like DH isn't even married and with a child, the exception is MIL's brother and his DW (the only 2 people I consider his family).  Any time DH's family sends something, it is addressed to DH and son.  My email address from before I got married was my first and last name.  But, I changed it when I got married to my first and new last name.  I kept the old one, however, because my grandmother would forget my new last name right after I was married (she's in her 70's).  My MIL and her sister think they have to still email me at my old email address (about once a month, and usually they just forward things and send chain letters).  The old email has been deleted now.  I wonder if they will be surprised.  A person in their 70's is allowed to forget something, but it seems really hard to forget your own last name for MIL and her sister.  It really makes me made.  Can someone tell me how a person forgets their own last name???!!!  The only people from his family who even care about how any of us are doing (DH, our son, and me) are DH's uncle and aunt.  If it weren't for this one aunt, I would go crazy trying to figure this family out!  This aunt keeps me sane.

        Signed - Aunt Keeps Me Sane

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Kezziah 4 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 21-MAY-02
I just do not understand my MIL.  While DH and I were dating, she was so good to me.  We would call each other, go out to eat, go shopping, etc.  We were like friends.  While DH was in boot camp, she had to get some medical tests done, and asked me to go to the hospital with her for support.  So, I took off from work to go with her.  After DH got out of boot camp, we decided to get married.  And, he went to school.  After school, he got his orders to go to another state.  He told me that he wanted to get married before he left.  When he told MIL that we were getting married, the first thing she asked was, "Is she pregnant?"  I was, but we did not find out until a week after we got married.  So, she threw a big fit, and tried to talk DH out of marrying me.  She did not want him to marry me at all!  We ended up setting a new date, and he did NOT want to tell her that we reset it.  Even after we got married, he DID NOT want to tell her that we were married.  He did, however, tell her that I was pregnant when we found out (a week after the wedding).  Fast forward to the day he left for his new duty station.  He was supposed to tell his mom, before he left, that we had gotten married.  We were leaving the airport after he boarded the plane, and she asked me if we were just planning a little wedding where he got stationed.  She had no idea!  Other family members had it figured out.  Three days after DH and I were married, MIL's mom got married.  DH had his wedding ring on at that wedding.  Everyone else in the family knew, from seeing the ring, that we had gotten married.  But MIL would just tell them, "Oh, no that isn't a wedding ring.  It's just a friendship ring."  The ring was a wedding band, and he was wearing it on his left ring finger.  Shouldn't that have given her a clue?  So, I had to tell her that we had gotten married and when.  After that day, she has treated me like I have the Black Plague, even though it was her son's idea not to tell her about the new wedding date, or that we had gotten married.  I was still living in the same town as MIL for a while after DH left.  When I had my first ultrasound done, she had no interest in seeing the "pictures" of her own grandson.  When my son was born, no one could get a hold of her.  DH kept trying to call her the whole time I was in labor.  He left messages on her machine.  She wasn't at work, and she wasn't answering her cell phone.  Since it was taking DH's time away from me while I was in labor, he called my mother and asked her to keep trying to get a hold of MIL.  I was in the hospital for 2 days, and my mom couldn't get a hold of MIL until the day I was getting out.  My son is almost 2 years old now, and MIL doesn't show any interest in him.  I know it is hard, since we live a 12 hour plane ride away, but she could at least call every now and then to ask how my son and DH are doing.  When I call her to tell her something about my son or DH, she's too busy to talk.  I don't see how the woman is too busy to hear about her son or grandson - she doesn't clean the house and she doesn't work.  All she does is sit in front of her television or computer all day long.  The last time she called my house, DH wasn't home.  I started to tell her something that my son had done.  She interrupted me and said, "Oh, well, if DS isn't home, I have to go."  I know there are people in MIL's family who told DH (while I was pregnant) that he should get a paternity test to make sure the baby was his, so maybe she is one of those people who does not believe that my son is his child.  DH and I both know that there is no way DS is someone else's child.  If that is what MIL's problem with my son is, then maybe she needs to get new glasses.  The only difference between my son and DH is a difference of height (of course a 2 year old shouldn't be the same height as a 24 year old).  DH and DS look exactly alike (same eyes, same nose, same face, same curly hair).  If you shrunk DH, you would have my son.  Almost the whole family is like this though.  They don't write or call to see how DH and DS are doing.  They don't remember their birthdays.  I have, in the last 2-1/2 years, learned that I am not the only one "married" into the family who gets treated like I am an outsider.  It turns out that my MIL learned all she knows from her own mother!  They don't want anything else to do with this family!

        Signed - Done With In-Laws

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

Frequent Fry Her TM. - Kezziah /Posted: 21-MAY-02
My wonderful MIL cannot remember birthdays.  My husband never gets a phone call or card on his birthday, and he is an only child.  Last year, our son had his first birthday, so MIL decided to steal the spotlight and schedule her wedding for the same day!  She got mad because before and after the ceremony, everyone was paying attention to my son (not only was it his first birthday, but it had been almost a year since these people had seen my son because we live in another state).  She then "remembered" my son's birthday, at about 9 PM that night, and sent her new DH to the store to buy him a present.  My son had been asleep for over an hour at my mother's house by that time.  The wedding reception was the day after the wedding.  MIL (and the rest of the in-laws) were so mad because I left the reception "early" to take my son to my mom's to put him to bed.  I don't think that 10 PM is early when I have a one year old child who needs to go to sleep.  MIL was also upset that I didn't want to spend the entire week of her wedding at her house.  I didn't want to spend the entire time there, because she keeps her kitty litter box downstairs, and NEVER cleans it out - and my son wants to play in it.  I would have cleaned it for her, but it was so bad (it hadn't been cleaned in about 2 weeks).  It needed to be changed, and there was no new litter anywhere in the house.  My birthday just recently passed.  I don't expect her to remember it, but I am the only one in my house who even knows when HER b-day is (DH doesn't).  Every year since DH and I have been married, she sends an e-mail to DH, 2-3 weeks AFTER my birthday, asking when it is.  In the email, she will say, "I know her birthday is at the beginning (of the month), but what day is it?"  If she knows what month my birthday is in, and that it is at the beginning of the month, then why does she ask more towards the end of that month!  I don't expect a gift from her, but a simple "Happy Birthday" would be nice.  I understand that I'm just "married" into the family (in her opinion), but it really upsets me that she can't remember my DH or my son's birthdays.  DH is an only child, and my son is her only grandchild!

        Signed - She "Forgets"

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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