Frequent
Fry Her TM
- lynnardz/Posted: 5-MAY-08
My MIL and SIL hate me. It has been over twenty
years now, and there is no changing that. DH and I have been
married 20 years. We have 5 children, and even one grandchild,
but the situation with my ILs never changes. I have been a SAHM
most of our marriage, but I have always gone and gotten a job to help
if our economic situation needed it and if it made sense. I
keep a clean house. I love my kids more than anything, and I
love my DH. But, according to them, I am lazy, bossy, and controlling.
Nothing I do is ever good enough. I have learned, recently,
that they talk about me to common acquaintances. They speak
only half truths, which benefit them by making me look bad.
Sometimes, I dwell on it so much that I feel as if I am going crazy.
In the past, I have begged my DH to speak with them. I would
never let my family speak to other people about him, the way they
talk about me. I don't think they understand that it is not
only hurtful to me, but also hurtful to my DH, and our children.
But, of course, my DH says it would do more harm than good.
It doesn't matter, as his mother doesn't listen anyway.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- lynnardz, 1 of 4 needed/Posted:
26-APR-08
My MIL has always tried to make sure that she and her
children are #1. My DH was accused of abandoning his family
when he joined the military and married me. She treated him
as if he was her DH/children's father. She would invite him
to dinner without me when he was home on leave. He never went.
My parents would never invite me and not him. She called, when
his sister graduated, and offered to pay HIS way home, but not his
children or wife. When he said he couldn't go because he was
attending school, trying to get his Bachelor's degree, she was very
upset. She called me the next day, crying, wanting me to talk
to him. She let me know that this was the only family he and
his sister had. Excuse me? Right before my DH was to graduate,
he had to do an internship. DH applied for one near our home
town so we could visit for 2 weeks. Of course, she tried to
plan our (or should I say "his", she doesn't care if I am
involved or not) social calendar during those 2 weeks. One day,
I was at home with her all morning with my children. She left
at lunch. I found out later that she had called my DH and asked
him to lunch. They met, and I found out later. First off,
she never said a word. Is it a secret? Is it a rendezvous
in her sick head? Fine, if she didn't want to invite me, but
why is it a secret?
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- lynnardz, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
27-APR-08
MIL has always tried to get my DH away from me as much
as possible. My DH was in the military when we were married,
and I lived with MIL while he finished his schools and until he received
a permanent station. I was young, and would still go out with
my friends on the weekend. She liked to pay his way home for
the weekend and not tell me he was coming. I know she did this
because she always accused me of cheating, so she thought he could
come home without me knowing and catch me. Ha. Of course,
the cheating was in her head, so that never happened. I would
be surprised, and we would have a wonderful weekend together on her
dime.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- lynnardz, 3 of 4 needed/Posted:
1-MAY-08
When my DS was about 2, we had to stay with MIL for
a short period in-between duty stations for my DH. I had not
started potty training my DS because I wanted to wait until we were
in our own home. There were just too many people living in one
place. Also, there were too many people trying to be my children's
parents. I came home, one day, after an appointment. My
kids had stayed with MIL. My MIL told me how she put training
pants on my DS and then he pottied in them. So, she made him
wash them out in the sink, because that is what they would do to the
patients at the state mental hospital (she was an aid). I said
that my DS is a little boy. Then, I put a diaper back on him.
I was fuming. A couple of days later, I was in the basement
doing laundry, when I heard my MIL telling my DS that what he did
was bad. It was nasty to poop in your own pants and only babies
did that. Well, I couldn't make it up the stairs fast enough.
I told her, "Don't worry about what he does. Do not change
his diaper. It is my responsibility, as it is my responsibility
to potty train him, and I will do that when we are both good and ready.
Stay out of it. If you don't want to change his diaper or can't
without trying to make him feel bad, then come get me."
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- lynnardz, 4 of 4 needed/Posted:
2-MAY-08
My MIL really does think that her DS is supposed to
treat her like a spouse. Then, if I mention it, or we have an
argument, she claims that I am jealous. Whenever my DH would
travel overseas and would send me gifts, she would call and ask for
the same exact gifts. Then, she would be angry and pout when
she didn't receive them. If there was any news I had to tell
him, she would get on the phone and tell him before I had the opportunity.
It was a real bummer when I had something that I was really excited
about, and he would say, "I know, my MOM told me."
Now, I make sure that she doesn't have a lot of information about
my life. Whenever my DH tries to talk to her about disagreements
we have with her, she says to him that it must be nice that he has
another individual to discuss her with, and that she resents that
we talk about her. Go get your own partner. I don't care
what you discuss with him in your bedroom.
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