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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Mad As Hell
Age: 34       MIL Age: 60
USA

I promise I'm not making any of this up!
It's all true!

I have 15 years of stories
so I'll post them as I remember each and every painful episode...

frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 14-NOV-15
Even after almost 20 years of dealing with my in-laws, I still slip up sometimes and forget just how awful they can be. In-laws had decided they wanted to sell their house (yes, at the time, the housing market was at its lowest, great decision.) Anyway, my good friend was an excellent realtor, very successful. My in-laws started hounding me for his work address and phone number. I ignored them. But, after several weeks of constant messages I gave in and passed on the info they wanted. A few days later I heard from another relative that my in-laws were spreading rumors that I was pushing them to sell their house and use my realtor friend so I could split the sales commission.

        Signed - Lesson Learned - Never Let Down Your Guard!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 13-FEB-11
My Christmas gift this year from MIL - a shoe box of clearance items from the local discount store.  How do I know?  Because she had left the bright red $1.00 tags on each item.  Do I feel angry?  No.  I had already anticipated what she would do, so had a smile on my face as I handed her the most f-ugly framed print you ever saw.  I got it as a door prize at a convention last year.  I had been saving it just for this occasion.  It's really ugly.

        Signed - Take That, Crazy One!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 16-AUG-10
Follow up to a story I posted last year in which MIL lied about having a college degree.  She has now updated the education area on her Facebook page to state that she graduated from an Ivy League school.  My jaw hit the floor when I saw that.  You have to hand it to her - she's certainly got ambitions!!

        Signed - Eye Rolling
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 25-MAY-10
Never a dull moment with the ILs!  They have decided that now would be a great time to sell their house.  Yes, the market has crashed, but in their minds now is perfect.  They are relying on the proceeds from the house sale to pay off debts, fund their retirement, AND buy a home in a beach community.  They have a lot of credit card debt/mortgages.  Their plans are just not realistic.  If they can rent an apartment and cover monthly basic living essentials, they'll be lucky.  So far, they have had SIX realtors come to the house and give valuations.  Each realtor has said the same figure, but because it's nowhere near what the ILs think the house is worth, then the realtors are "idiots", "don't know their job", or, "are out to cheat" them.  They bought the house in the 1960's and don't know a thing about real estate.  Yet, of course, they are the experts and everyone else is wrong.  They haven't worked on the house since the 70's, and never bothered with any maintenance, but they truly believe their house is the most desirable and people will be lining up to make them offers.  I would be laughing, if it wasn't so ridiculous.

        Signed - Let The Drama Begin
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 28-APR-10
DH's cousin found out that her DH, of two years, had been cheating on her the whole time they were married (and before they got married).  MIL left a message for cousin, begging her not to kick him out as, "He's just a loving philanderer."  What does that even mean???  MIL even had the nerve to call around to other relatives, asking them to persuade cousin to, "Do the right thing," and stay married.  God, she's sooooo annoying!!!!

        Signed - Who Says "Philanderer" Nowadays, Anyway?
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 14-FEB-10
I just had a flashback to my first wedding anniversary.  On the day of our anniversary, MIL called us all excited because she was at a gallery in the city, and had found a painting that "would go just perfect in" our home, and was "a great anniversary gift".  She asked if she and FIL could bring it over.  When they arrived, they unloaded quite a large framed print (not painting).  It wasn't really to our taste, but we didn't hate it.  MIL then proceeded to tell us of the drama and aggravation she faced getting it from the city to us.  They had to double-park.  They nearly got a ticket.  It was heavy and the gallery wasn't helpful.  It was expensive, so they had gone back several times, not sure whether to get it, etc.  It was quite a story.  A few months later I ran into a friend of mine who works for a large retail craft store.  She asked if I liked the print that MIL had brought in to them for framing.  She told the store employees that it was a print that she had bought off a well-known on line auction website.  The next time I saw MIL, I casually asked her if there were any matching prints to the one she had bought us.  I must have caught her off-guard, as she replied, "I don't know, let me check eBay."  The look on her face was priceless when she realized that she had slipped up.

        Signed - If You're Going To Lie, At Least Try To Keep Your Story
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 20-JAN-10
DH just received the latest crazy "gift" from his mom.  It was a winter hat along with a letter explaining that she had knitted it herself and was thinking about him all the time as she made it.  Apparently, she knitted it with lots of love.  She hopes he'll wear it and think of her and how much she loves him, and how much he means to her.  She wishes he'd visit more blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc.  It's a shame that she forgot to cut out the "Made in China" label inside the hat.

        Signed - Sigh
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 3-DEC-09
When DH and I were dating, I went through a brief period (in between jobs) of having no health insurance.  Of course, that was the exact time I developed a bad ear infection and needed antibiotics.  MIL arranged for an appointment with their family doctor, who would let me pay cash.  I found out afterwards that she had called the doctor and demanded to know why I was there, what the diagnosis was, and what was the treatment plan and medication suggested.  In fact, she wanted my full medical history, and became abusive when she was told that she would not be told this info!  When we confronted her, she turned it around on us.  She sobbed that she only wanted to know so she could take care of me and do what was best.  Even though this happened about 15 years ago, I still go out of my way to avoid any medical facility that she might possibly be near, just in case she sees me or my car.

        Signed - That Woman Is Unbelievable
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 3-DEC-09
It's DH birthday tomorrow.  I "fondly" recall the birthday card my MIL sent my DH back in 2001 (yes, I'm still mad).  DH had been in an accident, and was home recuperating after quite a long hospital stay.  MIL sent him a cheap, cr@ppy card with a handwritten poem inside:  "None of the mush, none of the sap.  A birthday card without any cr@p!"  Wow, gee, Mom, thanks for your kind and caring words of affection.

        Signed - Not A Mom-Of-The-Year Award Winner!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 28-NOV-09
Worst gift:  Today is December 5th.  I just got home from work to find a box of food left on my doorstep with a note from MIL.  "My fridge is too full, so I thought you could use these leftovers."  Packed inside were several resealable bags with turkey, mashed potatoes, apple pie, pumpkin pie, vegetables, bread rolls, gravy - yep, THANKSGIVING dinner leftovers.  Just what I always wanted, ten day old food.  She had very kindly written reheating instructions on each bag.  Mmmmmm, yummy.

        Signed - Oh No!! You Forgot The Cranberry Sauce!!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 20-OCT-09
MIL has recently discovered the wonders of medical self-help websites, and has diagnosed herself with various ailments.  Of course, they are always serious and/or life-threatening.  I wouldn't care so much, but she insists on telling everyone she meets about her "thrombosis", her "hypoglycemia", or her "mini-strokes" etc., etc.  DH and I were visiting MIL this past weekend when my cell phone rang.  It was one of MIL's friends, lecturing me about MIL's "recently diagnosed diabetes".  She told me how I should be more sympathetic, and what I should be doing to help her!  I looked across at MIL.  She was, at that point, shoveling a large piece of cake with ice cream into her fat mouth.  I decided to call MIL's bluff and asked her if she was a diabetic, how come she was eating so much cr@p.  She told me that her diabetes was rare, because what she ate did not affect her blood sugar.  I was sorely tempted to pick up the whole cake and shove it in her face.  Thanks for letting me vent.

        Signed - Yet More Madness!!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 10-SEP-09
I just got the best birthday gift EVER from my MIL.  Nothing.  It's great, and I mean that.  After years and years of getting sh!tty, passive-aggressive gifts, it's actually a relief not to open anything from her.  Once I realized that she really wasn't going to send me anything, I silently thanked her from the bottom of my heart.

        Signed - A Weight Off My Shoulders
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 8-JUL-09
If you have read my previous posts, the following will come as no surprise.  For those of you who don't know, my ILs are extremely controlling - to the point of faking serious illness/impending death to get their way.  This past Memorial Day weekend, my MIL wanted us to visit, but we had long standing plans that we did not want to change.  I politely told her, "No thank you, we are busy all weekend."  Two days later, a thick envelope arrived in the mail with a long letter and a copy of her Will "for when the time comes".  I briefly scanned the loonnnggggg letter, but didn't bother reading it completely after I saw phrases such as "it sickens me", "you don't understand", and, "my life will be cut short," etc., etc., etc.

        Signed - Another One For The Garbage!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 29-APR-09
MIL went on vacation cross country.  She came back with boxes of fireworks for my DH's birthday gift.  Fireworks are illegal in our state, and we live across the street from the police department.  I really have no idea what she expects us to do with them.

        Signed - Maybe Build A Rocket To Send Her To The Moon!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 29-APR-09
MIL has a favorite "funny" story that she loves to trot out whenever she can.  If someone receives an unexpected gift from their partner, a surprise party, or anything nice that couples do for each other, you can hear the cackling starting.  "Well!  How about that?!  You're surprised, huh?!  Well, let me tell you *cackle*.  I had a friend many years ago who came home one day to find that her DH had thrown her a surprise party!  She was suspicious because he was never good at hiding things from her!  And, guess what?! *cackle*.  She did some digging around and sure enough (at this point MIL voice rises a few octaves) YES!!  HE HAD BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR!!  *cackle, cackle*  Makes ya think, don't it??!!"  People who know my MIL are ready for the story and just roll their eyes, but those poor folks who are hearing it for the first time are left shocked and speechless.  And, suddenly, the shine is taken off their day.

        Signed - Sounds Like Jealousy To Me
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 27-APR-09
My brother came to visit last night.  We were chatting about the days before I got married and how we knew my future ILs were "odd", but we didn't realize exactly how crazy they are.  I asked my brother when he realized there was something weird about my MIL.  He said that at my DH's brother's funeral (many years ago) my MIL approached him to ask if he would be interested in renting her deceased son's apartment.  My brother thought she was grief-stricken, and therefore didn't know what she was saying.  Now we know she's plain crazy.

        Signed - No Thanks
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 16-MAR-09
My birthday is coming up.  I heard on the grapevine that my MIL is knitting me a blanket.  Another one.  I think she has made me 5 blankets and a shawl over the past couple of years.  They are very nice, and I appreciate the time and effort.  What I don't appreciate is the accompanying sarcastic barbs, "I know you like to relax/snuggle/rest on the couch/chair/porch."  "I thought you could use this, as you spend a lot of time relaxing."  "This will keep you warm while you sit around."  She always has to insinuate that I am lazy.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but she'll never acknowledge that.  Oh well, I'm sure my dogs will love snuggling on their new blanket!

        Signed - She Doesn't Know Me At All
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 9-FEB-09
Growing up, DH and his siblings were constantly abused by their violent alcoholic father.  When I asked my MIL why she allowed this to happen (in fact, she would use her kids as a shield and direct FIL's anger towards the kids to save herself), she told me that she "was glad the abuse had occurred at home, as it prepared the kids for life in the real world - a world that is cruel and heartless".  She truly believes that the abuse was a good thing.  She disgusts me, and . . .

        Signed - I Feel Sick Just Looking At Her
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted:15-JAN-09
My MIL has announced that she is going back to school to get her Master's degree.  That's great, but you have to have attended college or university and gotten your Bachelor's degree first!  When my DH told her this, she replied, "Oh, but I did graduate from college!"  Really?  That's the first we've heard of it!  When and where?  She responded with a month and year, and named a college about 70 miles from where she was living at that time.  She must think that we fell out of the stupid tree.  DH was born in that same month.  There was no way she was driving 140 miles a day to attend college while pregnant, and then attend graduation just days before she gave birth.  She apparently "lost" her diploma (how convenient).  DH did a little research and, shocker, there is no record of her attending that college.  Oh, and she's mentioned that she'll be going back for her reunion!  I should offer to drive her, so I can meet all her invisible college friends.

        Signed - What Is The Point Of These Lies??
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted:13-DEC-08
Worst gift:  As it's Christmas time, I'm reminded of the many "lovely" gifts I have received from my ILs over the years.  One year, my MIL made a HUGE deal about a "very expensive, highly collectable" glass ornament that she had bought for me.  She said she wasn't sure about giving it to me, as she didn't know if I could be trusted to keep it, rather than selling it, as it was soooooo valuable.  Shame, she left the discount department store $5.99 price tag on the bottom, which I made sure everyone could see, as I handed it around to be admired.

        Signed - Gotcha!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted:6-DEC-08
As you may have noticed from my previous posts, my ILs are very controlling.  On my wedding day, many years ago, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't pull the crazy sh!t they usually do, except at the end of the night.  We were all staying in the same large, upscale hotel, where the reception had been held.  My new DH and I went the Bridal Suite around midnight.  About an hour later, the phone started ringing.  Very drunk FIL was screaming and yelling, annoyed that we were not down in the bar "where all the fun is".  It turned out that he had gone to the reception desk and asked for our room number.  Management said, "No," we were not to be disturbed.  So, he told them that my father had been in a fatal car accident, and I had to be told immediately.  I found this out the next day, when I went to complain to the manager about our room phone number being given out.  The manager, in turn, complained to me about the . . .

        Signed - Appalling, Drunken, Sloppy Behavior Of My FIL
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted:6-DEC-08
About a month before my BIL's wedding (DH's brother), my ILs decided that they wanted to add a few people to the guest list.  My FSIL said no, as it was a very formal wedding (took 2 years to plan), the seating arrangements had been made, her parents, not the in-laws, were paying, and she didn't even know these people.  So, my ILs took the wedding invitation that they had been given, made a new envelope, and mailed it to their friends.  SIL didn't know this until she received the response card.  On the day of the wedding, the ILs didn't bother to show up for photos.  We had no idea where they were.  In the wedding album all the portraits are outside in beautiful sun, except the for the ILs, who are outside the reception hall in the dark.  This is typical of . . .

        Signed - Their Controlling Behavior
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted:21-NOV-08
Not long after my DH and I met, his brother died.  It was a really sad time, as you can imagine.  A few days after the funeral, my SIL overheard MIL on the phone with his employer "just checking" to see if there was any life insurance.  I still feel sick when I think about it.  The funeral had been paid for, and there were no outstanding bills to pay.  I know that if someone close to me were to die, my first thought would not be how much money I could get.

        Signed - Just Checking
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 9-NOV-08
Worst gift:  This has to be the worst (most hurtful) gift ever.  MIL bought her first GC a time-out bear for "when he's bad".  He's 6 months old!!!!  But, it doesn't surprise me, as the MIL always gives my SIL (the baby's mom) secondhand (dirty, worn, refurbished) gifts for her birthday and Christmas, while the "real" DD is given expensive clothes, electronics, etc., etc.

        Signed - Most Hurtful
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell/Posted: 8-NOV-08
About 10 years ago, my BIL's new GF called me, in tears, saying that she had just spoken to my MIL and "heard the tragic news".  I was rather confused, because, as far as I knew, nothing bad had happened.  But, it turned out that my cruel MIL told GF that she was dying, and only had a few months left to live.  GF was shocked when I started laughing, but I couldn't help myself.  Poor GF had no idea what lengths my MIL will go to for attention.  MIL was absolutely not dying, and wasn't even sick (except in the head).  Ten years later, she's still alive and causing problems.  Apparently, my BIL and GF had planned to go away with her parents over Mother's Day weekend, so MIL tried to guilt them into staying with her.  It's no surprise that we never saw that GF again.

        Signed - She Ran Away As Fast As She Could!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 6-NOV-08
My MIL told my brother about his surprise 30th birthday party because, and I quote, "It makes me happy to bring a little sunshine into someone's day by telling them good news."  A lot of time, effort, and money had gone into making the party special for my brother, and she had no problem ruining it to make herself feel good.

        Signed - Surprise
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 6-NOV-08
Worst gift:  Last Christmas, I discovered that my MIL had taken out a credit card, with a large credit limit, in my name.  When I confronted her, she begged me not to call the police, and said that using my credit was the only way she could afford Christmas gifts.  Not wanting to cause stress for my DH, I decided to do nothing.  I had to sit at her house on Christmas Eve and watch in silence as all the family opened expensive gifts that I, technically, had bought.  And, what did I get?  An old leather bag that I had seen in her basement storage years ago, and a paperback book that my SIL had bought her for her birthday.

        Signed - There's More Where This Came From!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 7-NOV-08
Many years ago, when it became apparent to my ILs that I would be marrying their son (after 5 years of dating), my FIL took me aside to ask, "How much would it take" to get me to disappear?  I swear, I saw his checkbook out on the coffee table.  It was one of those this-can't-really-be-happening moments, when you're really not sure that you're hearing correctly.  I just got up and left, and I never told my DH.

        Signed - There's More Where This Came From!
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frequent fry her - madashell Frequent Fry Her TM. - madashell, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 7-NOV-08
My MIL recently dropped off a large bowl of homemade soup for my DH and me to enjoy.  After she had left, I transferred the soup into smaller containers, ready for freezing.  During the transfer, I discovered a large needle.  If it was anyone else, I would think that it had fallen in there accidentally.  But, with this woman I'm just not so sure.

        Signed - Not So Sure
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