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Frequent Fry HerTM
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milwoes
Age: 35    MIL Age: 60

frequent fry her - milwoes Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes/Posted: 3-AUG-06
While MIL was here this past week, she made mention that she would like to bring the kids home with her.  What?  I don't think so!  I am really looking forward to my response the day she presses the issue.  "You completely disregarded our wishes while you were staying with us and supposedly caring for the twins, so why on earth would I ever allow them alone with you again, especially when I'm not near to protect them from you?!"  DH and I went away overnight the weekend before the 4th.  We had a friend of ours come and stay with the twins and my older son.  When MIL heard about this, she was greatly disturbed.  That was when she made mention about taking the kids with her.  FAT CHANCE!

        Signed - When He!! Freezes Over, MIL
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frequent fry her - milwoes Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes/Posted: 3-AUG-06
MIL was just here for a short visit.  She was here for maybe 3 hours, and she invited herself to dinner.  She had gone with her twin sister to see another of their sisters for her birthday.  Apparently their aunt was also there.  The aunt used to take care of MIL and twin sister when they were babies.  So, MIL came back with a story from her childhood.  She said to me, "Aunt So-And-So was telling me how mom used to have help to care for us twins.  And there was this woman who came to help, and do you know she did nothing to help around the house?!  She stated that she was there to help with the babies, and that's just what she did - she held us babies all the time while my mother did the work.  And do you know that when we took a nap, so did she?  Can you believe that?  What nerve.  Anyway, she wasn't help for long."  Um, MIL, that was me, not your mother, and the lady that didn't help, the one who was there just was there to hold babies, that was YOU!!!!  I don't know if she said it just to irritate me further, or if she is really that dense that she has no clue.  I mean, she was here for 2 1/2 months and she never did a thing, except maybe put a few dishes in the dishwasher.  Wait, she did wash dishes once, but I had to redo them because there was still food on them, and they were covered in grease.

        Signed - MIL That Was YOU!
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frequent fry her - milwoes Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes/Posted: 17-JUL-06
On the day that my twins were dedicated at church, I begrudgingly agreed to invite MIL and FIL to the service.  DH's Godparents were also there, which was very sweet.  MIL and FIL arrived the night before and there was no way that I could convince DH to make them stay in a hotel.  Anyway, that was pretty much uneventful.  I am still barely speaking to her from all the cr@p that she put me thru while she was staying to "help".  The baby dedication was after the church service.  We were sitting in the service, and just as it started, one of the twins started crying.  I took him out and had DH watch the other.  I went to a soundproof room in the back of the sanctuary (called a cry room), and started watching the service from there.  Less than a minute later MIL stood up and left the sanctuary.  I had to stand up and move with the baby because he was fussing, and I was trying to calm him.  I was standing behind the door.  MIL opened the door, but couldn't see me.  She must have assumed that I left the room.  She never returned to the service.  How rude!  She came back in as the pastor was praying.  Rude again.  Then, the entire family (ILs and godparents included) were to stand in the front of the congregation as the babies were being dedicated, and one person (the father of the baby?!) was to take the microphone, introduce everyone, and say a few words.  Well, as the microphone was being passed, you guessed it, MIL took it and made a huge, elaborate speech, as if it were her own children.  I was absolutely mortified.  She was trying to get into the family picture that was taken after the dedication.  Um, no.  I had the photographer (a friend of mine) tell her "immediate family only".

        Signed - MIL Doesn't Know When To Quit
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frequent fry her - milwoes, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 05-JUL-06
My MIL was a peach in the beginning.  I loved her to pieces and actually got along better with her than I did with my own mother.  I had noticed odd quirks about her, and some behavior that I would describe as depression and social anxiety.  But she had always treated me very well.  Then I became pregnant with twins.  She volunteered to come stay with us to help out in the beginning and to provide daycare for when I returned to work.  It was a very generous offer because she lived 3 hours away and would have to take a leave of absence from her job, and leave her DH for an extended period of time.  There are many stories, so I'm going to break them down a little at a time.  Before she came to stay, I told DH that he needed to "set some ground rules" for her because she tends to do as she pleases and disregards what anyone tells her.  I warned him (I saw the writing on the wall) that if he didn't speak with her ahead of time, this whole situation would end badly.  Well, he didn't talk to her.  About 2 weeks before I had the babies she told DH that she would not be coming to stay unless we got rid of our dog.  What?  Who is she to make such demands?  The dog is my other baby, and he is very old.  DH and I had discussed "what ifs" regarding the dog, and agreed that we would see how he behaved with the babies.  If he didn't do well, we would have him adopted at that time.  What nerve!  Then she told me that she would sleep in the utility room by the washer and dryer, and requested that I remove the exercise equipment.  All this because we stated that we would have the 2 older boys share a room while she was here, so she could have my stepson's room.  Well, SS is her favorite, and she didn't want him to not have his own space (he's here 3 weekends a month).  So, she thought that having my home gym removed would be the best solution.  I told her no, that it would be a lot of trouble to remove it.  She stayed in SS's room during the week, then would sleep on the couch in the beginning when he was here so that he didn't have to share with my son.  When I put my foot down about her sleeping on the couch, she then would pack up all of her belongings and move to my son's room and invade his space while SS was here.  So, SS needs privacy?  But my son does not?  And, since when is she aware of anyone's need for privacy?  But that's another story!

        Signed - What Happened?!
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frequent fry her - milwoes, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUL-06
I was very concerned that MIL would not listen to what we had to say regarding how to take care of our preemie new born twins.  They had to be held a certain way when feeding them, there were things to ensure that they didn't become over-stimulated (no feeding while watching TV or even rocking while feeding - it could be over stimulating) etc.  While I was on maternity leave, it seemed to be ok.  But when I went back to work, things quickly got out of control.  It was almost as if she was saying, "I'm in charge now and we will do things my way."  I came home one day to find one of the twins in the bassinet, sound asleep on top of a HUGE FLUFFY PILLOW!  I immediately removed the pillow and reminded her that NOTHING goes in the bassinet with the baby.  She told me that he liked it and was comfortable, and that he slept better with it.  The next day I came home and found him on top of a huge fluffy blanket, folded over several times to fit in the bassinet.  I let my DH handle it at that point, and she got very confrontational about it.  Then, one day I came home and found her holding both babies, which is fine.  But she didn't have a hold of them securely, and one of them had been sliding down her lap.  She had squeezed with her knees to prevent him from hitting the hardwood floors!  I gasped and removed him immediately, and she got very abrasive at my reaction.  Finally, the last straw was when she decided to bathe the babies.  DH and I only gave them baths about every 3 or 4 days, per the advice of the pediatrician. I enjoyed giving them baths, since that was a good bonding time for us after I got home from work.  I began to notice soaking wet onesies in the tub drying every day when I came home from work.  MIL informed me that she was bathing the babies because she enjoyed it.  Then she informed me that she put them in onesies because they were very slippery and she was afraid that she would drop them.  This went on daily, and I told her twice that we were the ones to bathe the twins.  MIL completely ignored that and continued.  The 3rd time I confronted her and asked her why she continued to do it after we had asked her repeatedly not too.  I never mentioned to her that I feared for their safety, I just told her that it was part of their bedtime routine and I preferred to do it.  MIL told me that she liked to do it, and would continue to do so.  I got very upset and started to tell her not to do it anymore, period, and was quite firm.  She MOCKED me to my face (like when a 3 year old doesn't like being scolded by her mother and makes mimicking faces back at her).  Yep, that's what she did.  Nice, eh?

        Signed - What Happened?!
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frequent fry her - milwoes, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUL-06
When the first of my twins came home from the hospital, MIL graciously took her leave of absence from her job and left her DH to come live with us.  Big mistake!  She did absolutely nothing all day except hold the babies, while I tried to keep house and clean up after her.  The only things that she did were things that I asked her NOT to do.  I asked her not to do our laundry because of my personal things, and I felt that it was an invasion of privacy,  So, she did my laundry.  I asked her not to sleep on the couch because that was where I needed to be for the middle of the night feedings, so she would sleep on the couch.  She wouldn't do dishes, she never dusted, vacuumed, or even cleaned the bathroom that she used.  She began referring to the twins as her babies.  At one point, she "jokingly" stated that I was a surrogate mother for her.

        Signed - How Sick Is That?!
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frequent fry her - milwoes, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - milwoes, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 06-JUL-06
My MIL came to "help" when I went into early labor and had my twins 2 months early.  While I was in the hospital, she did absolutely nothing but make a huge mess and sit around all day.  I came home after my c-section to a completely trashed house, and some unidentifiable cr@p in a pot on my stove that had apparently been there for 2-3 days.  When I came home, I began to clean the house because it was such a mess.  Still recovering, I was in a bit of pain and had to take things slow.  While I was trying to get my house in order, MIL took a nap, then sat in her chair and watched soap operas.  She needed to drive me to the hospital to see my twins, who were in the NICU for 8 and 10 weeks.  On our way home from the NICU I called DH at work to make arrangements for him to contact his ex so that stepson could come see the babies that evening.  When I hung up, MIL ripped me a new one for "making plans for her son".  What?  She told me that it's not my place to make such demands on him after he's had a long day at work.  Again, what?  I believe that she has forgotten "her" place in my household, which is what I was afraid was going to happen.

        Signed - She Has Forgotten "Her" Place In My Household
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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