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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 41    MIL Age: 63

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws /Posted: 7-JUL-02
My MIL is a nut job!  And, that's putting it nicely.  She's had the reputation, from the time she was a kid in school, of being a little nuts!  In fact, I heard comments that she had to marry an older man (FIL was 14 years older) because everyone her age knew she was a nut job!  When people don't do exactly what she wants them to do, at the time she wants them to do it, she cuts all ties with them and never speaks to them again!  She did it to her own mother.  She did it to her brother.  She did it to her husband (and, I really think he died to get away from her), and guess whose turn it is now?  Mine!!!!!!!!  She was verbally abusive to me over things that never happened (but she insists people told her that they happened).  And, when my DH defended me, she told him that she never wanted to see me or my kids again.  And, she said that if he was going to stay married to me (we've been married 9 months), she won't see him either!  Nice, huh?!  She says I'm a control freak because I bought my own house before I met my DH.  And, she feels that I'm self centered because I did all the decorating myself, and it looks wonderful!  I'm also self-centered because I finished my higher education and landed a dream job with better benefits and bonuses than my DH!  She feels that I should be a passive little farm girl who needs her DH!  The truth is that I want my DH!  And, the reason he was so attracted to me was because I was strong and independent (unlike his mother and sister, who couldn't change a roll of toilet paper without his help!).  She doesn't like the fact that I can think for myself, so everything I say or do is twisted grossly by MIL and SIL!  Damned if I do, damned if I don't!  Help.

        Signed - Everything I Say Or Do Is Twisted Grossly

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws /Posted: 7-JUL-02
My ILs have a spare key to my DH's home.  We are trying to fix it up so that we can move there.  We each have our own places from before we met.  We pay two mortgages, and need to cut down to one.  So, we are fixing up my DH's fixer upper because there is more room there, and it is in a nicer school district.  We got married 9 months ago, and I have 2 children from a previous marriage.  My ILs save everything!  They have houses that are full of junk!  So, now they are moving the overflow to my DH's house without our consent or knowledge!  We've asked them to stop because we now can't move from room to room because it's wall to wall junk!  We tried to refinance to a lower mortgage rate.  When the appraiser from the bank showed up, he couldn't move, and he refused to do the appraisal!  It seems that they added more junk to the junk there!  My DH gave them 30 days to get the junk out.  Naturally, that has come and gone.  And, of course it's all my fault.  What is my problem?  They seem to think that there's nothing wrong with both of us working 3 jobs between us to pay for their storage space!  We already have a place to live (my house), so why do we need to move?  DH thinks that changing the locks won't work until all their stuff is out, because it will cause a bigger problem if their stuff is locked up.  I'd like to trash it all, but I know there will be a legal problem if I do that!  Now they all complain about me, and say that I'm self serving!  I work my butt off, and we always have to go without to meet these two mortgage and tax payments!  And, for what?  When did I agree to provide a storage rental house to them?  Help!!!!!!!!!

        Signed - I'd Like To Trash It All

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 22-JUN-02
So, my MIL is a witch!  Everything she calls me is a lie that she made up in her head!  She is angry about all these "bogus" claims about me.  But, I think she has serious mental problems that her family should be getting her treatment for, instead of helping her attack me!  She told my DH that she never wanted to see me again (or my kids) because 3 years ago at Christmas, I started opening a gift that she bought my husband by mistake!  She handed it to me and said, "Here."  It had no name tag on it.  I said, "Thank you," and started opening it.  She said, "No, it is for your DH."  So, I put it near him before it was fully opened.  She, of course, waited 3 years to make a stink about this!  She felt that since we weren't married, I had no right to touch his stuff!!!  The best part is that when you kindly ask her if there's a problem, or whether I did something to upset her, she gives sugar coated reasons like, "Oh no.  I just haven't been able to work in my garden."  Or she says, "My knee is bothering me," etc.  Then, she'll call my DH at work and let loose on him about how evil I am.  When he defends me, she tells him that he's too close to me to see clearly, and that he should have never married me!  She never buys gifts for the kids and me for the holidays when we are together (but she buys for everyone else, including my DH).  And she takes any gift(s) that we buy her and gives them back to my 10 year old son, stating that she doesn't want anything!  Of course, he gets hurt.  He's 10!!!  Family get togethers are horrible, since the rest of the family feeds into her behavior as not to upset her, because that's the way she is!  Until recently, I was really getting down on myself because I was starting to believe that I was not a nice person.  Then, my friends pointed out that it's her, not me.  After I stepped back and looked, I realize that just because she says all these bad things about me, it doesn't mean that I have to live up to them!  She even attacks my family!  My mother called to wish her a Merry Christmas, because my parents live 8 hours away, and she called my husband to tell him that my mother was checking up on her!!!!  Any advice on how to deal with this behavior?  Even though the kids and I ignore her (she demanded for us to do this), she still manages to get to me.  Help!!!!

        Signed - She Still Manages To Get To Me

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 22-JUN-02
My ILs always call my DH at work!  It has gotten to the point where other employees are complaining to the boss that he's slowing everything down by these calls!  The boss contacted me get me to help with the situation, since I used to work there too.  The best part is that, because my husband works the 2 pm to 10 PM shift, everyone thinks it's okay to call him when they get home from work after 5pm.  That is the busiest time in the hospital!  They don't realize that he can't take care of people if he's on the phone!!!  They think everybody can wait!  So, I kindly mentioned that since people were complaining and he did have a job to do, maybe they could limit their calls to ones that are very important, or to emergencies only!  Well, that translated (in their heads) to me saying, "No one is ever allowed to call him again!"  They are feeling, "Who the he!! do you think you are?"  They've been calling him for years there, and now that we're married (since September), they have to change their way of doing things?  So, they concluded that I'm bossy and self-serving because of this, and now, no one in his family talks to me!  FYI, these are all people in their mid-thirties and up!  So now they have started calling the house at 11pm to talk to him!  I have 2 kids from a previous marriage, and I work!  I think these phone calls are inconsiderate!  They are not about anything other than gossip or chit chat.  Short of moving and never giving them the address or phone number, does anyone have any ideas?

        Signed - She Probably Considers Me Terribly Rude

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 23-JUN-02
My ILs are truly "out there!"  They save everything!  I mean everything!  They have 2 trailers and 9 station wagons on their property to "store" stuff in!  They think everything is going to be a "collectible."  My DH didn't even have a bedroom when he was a kid because all of the bedrooms (4 of them) were used for storage!  He slept on the couch!  You can't move in their house because it's floor to ceiling boxes of "stuff' that are going to be collectable!  When they buy you a gift, you can't use it!  You have to keep it in the original box because it's going to be collectable!  They drive around town picking up everybody's junk because something in there is going to be a collectable!  Mind you, they have nothing worth any money with all this junk they save!  I haven't been to the house in 2 years because I saw rats in one of the station wagons that they use as a storage box!  They don't care.  They say that the cat will get the mice and rats!  I have no idea how my husband is related to these people.  I keep telling myself that it's not genetic because they probably found him somewhere and kept him "because he's going to be a collectable"!  It helps me deal with these people!  They save wrapping paper from every gift they have ever gotten!  They don't even reuse it.  They save it because it's going to be a collectable!  My ILs have even gone through my garbage on holidays and taken out wrapping paper, plastic forks, empty egg cartons and toothpicks - because they're collectibles!  All of these items are collectable, except for the toothpicks, because (according to them) they can be washed and reused!  They insult me and talk cr@p about me because I don't conform to their way of doing things!  And, these frugal people will fall for any get rich scheme that is going!  In the 3 years that I've known my husband, I can't tell you how many times they invested money in order to triple their money, and came out with nothing!!!  This has gotten to the point where they openly attack me at family events because I don't act like they do.  They think I'm wasteful and selfish!  I'm miserable around them!  It has gotten to the point where they make up lies about me to other people in order to make me look bad.  I don't even talk to these people.  Yet, according to them, I'm always saying something!  They think it's okay to bring their overflowing stuff to my house (yes my house - I bought it myself before I met my husband) to store stuff down my basement.  I said, "No," and all this cr@p started!  Help?

        Signed - They Think I'm Wasteful And Selfish!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Monster-In-laws 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Monster-In-Laws, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 23-JUN-02
My MIL is a nut job!  For whatever reason, she has major issues with me being independent.  I bought my own house shortly before I met my DH, and she doesn't like that!  Nor does she like the fact that I painted and wallpapered it all myself!  She thinks I'm self serving and self centered because of this!  Of course, she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody - and she knows the "real" (so called) reason that I got divorced!  She won't say though, she just kinds of plays the "I know something you don't know" game with my DH.  The truth is that it was your normal "grow apart, go your separate ways" kind of divorce.  She's just playing head games with us!  I spoke in front of the state house to get a bill passed into law (which was successful), and she has issues with that too!  She doesn't address the fact that it will help countless people, but she felt that it was self serving!  Yeah, I get off my butt and do something about injustice, and it's self serving!  When my DH sticks up for me, she tells him that he's too close to me to see clearly, and that he should have never married me!  The truth is that my DH and I never fight about anything, except his mother and his family!  They have put me under a magnifying glass, and I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't!  Any advice?

        Signed - They Have Put Me Under A Magnifying Glass

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


The Sister Knot, Apter
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Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
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