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Frequent Fry HerTM
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MsPen
Age: nearly 30    MIL Age: old enough to know better

frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen /Posted: 16-APR-08
SMIL has this weird idea that reprimanding your children causes them to be bad.  Case in point, we were at the dinner table and DS wouldn't eat.  I told him that he needed to eat.  He proceeded to engage in behavior inappropriate to the dinner table.  I calmly but firmly told him to knock that nonsense off, and SMIL said, "You know, if you didn't get into a huff about it, he wouldn't do it."  Wait, what?  My kid was misbehaving, and I'm not supposed to tell him not to because it will somehow fuel further misbehaving?  You'd think her theory would be proven wrong when he stopped acting up, but nope.  It was because I stopped paying attention.  In what freaking world is letting your kids do whatever the he!! they want until they get tired of it the definition of good parenting?  In another incident later that evening, SMIL asked DS about his current obsession.  He's young, so he fixates on things, but this one is getting somewhat obnoxious.  Still, SMIL asked him about it, then turned to us and said, in a holier-than-thou tone, "You know, if you didn't bring it up all the time and call such attention to it, he wouldn't fixate on it so much."  WHAT?  WAS I HUFFING GLUE OR SOMETHING?  SHE WAS THE ONE WHO MENTIONED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.  Not to mention the fact that fixating on a TV show or toy isn't going to cause lasting damage in his life.  Grow up, SMIL!

        Signed - Two MILs For The Price Of One
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen /Posted: 15-APR-08
Whilst trapped in the car with MIL, she decided to spout off her ideas about a certain nationality.  "The (name of nationality) would sooner stab you to death than look at you." "The (name of nationality) will rob you blind if you let them."  "The (name of nationality) aren't as innocent as they would like you to believe."  I'm (name of nationality).

        Signed - My MIL Got Her Anthropology Degree At Out Of Her Butt University
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen /Posted: 3-APR-08
MIL called me today to tell me that someone close to her had died last night.  In the middle of my sympathizing and saying all the things you say when someone has lost someone close to them, MIL admitted that she's not sure if this person is actually dead or not.  She just assumed that they were dead based on the fact that someone else said this person was "not doing very good" last night.  She has no idea if this person is alive or not, but she's calling everyone to announce the death based on second hand information.

        Signed - Don't Ever Become An Undertaker, MIL
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen /Posted: 18-MAR-08
DH and I were drop dead sick.  MIL said, "Let me bring you some homemade soup to get you well."  What a nice sentiment, right?  No.  After the soup was eaten and she was ready to leave, she asked us for a check for thirty dollars to pay for the supplies used to make the soup.

        Signed - Thanks, But Red and White Cans Only Cost A Dollar
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 25-JAN-08
SIL called me.  No "hello", no "how are you doing?"  Her opener was, "I've always hated your DH for stealing my childhood."  WHAT?  She went on to explain that because their parents were not taking care of DH, she had to drop out of college to care for him herself, and she resents him for it.  Here are the problems with this story:  1)  College is not "childhood".  Childhood is when you are a child.  You go to college as an adult.  2)  She dropped out of college because she got pregnant.  3)  DH was sixteen years old at the time, so he really didn't need to be taken care of, nor did anyone ask her to quit and care for him.  4)  DH didn't even know his sister had dropped out, because she lied to everyone and said she was still going for over a year after she dropped out.  She never even came back home!

        Signed - At Least She Got Her Honorary Doctorate In Crazy
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 26-JAN-08
Late last year I developed a deadly allergy to one of my favorite fruits.  MIL brought a huge jar of jam made from it to my house, held it up and said, "I have your favorite."  She then gave it to my DH and said, "It's all for you, since she can't have it anymore."

        Signed - You Can Take A Shot For Allergies, But There's No Shot For B!TCH!
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 26-JAN-08
A family member whom DH and SIL were very close to recently died.  DH and I went to buy flowers.  "We should really call your sister and see if she wants to go in on these," I told him, because, clearly, I was on meth that day or something.  But, I figured that if we combined our money, we could afford something bigger for this relative, who they both cared about very much.  We called SIL.  Of course she wanted to go in on flowers!  She loved the deceased so much!  She couldn't come to the flower shop for a few minutes to help her brother pick it out, but she could tell us what she wanted it to look like, how big it should be, etc.  We told her how much the final arrangement would cost and what her share would be of it.  She said that it was no problem, and she'd pay us back at the visitation.  As I stated before, I must have been high.  Both visitations came and went.  The funeral was over.  The graveside service was finished.  The funeral dinner came, and she still didn't mention the money.  Someone complimented the arrangement that we'd picked out and SIL immediately jumped in and said, "That was from my family.  Oh, also [DH and I] chipped in."  No, we didn't "chip in," we paid for the whole thing and you need to pay us back still.  But you don't say that kind of thing, because it's just tasteless.  Finally, when was she was getting ready to leave DH discretely asked her, "Do you have the check for the flowers?"  In came the drama!  Loudly, and in front of the whole family, she yelled, "I can't believe you'd ask me that!  Of course I'll pay you back, but asking me right now, when I'm grieving, is tacky!  I will send you a check, but I will never forgive you for acting like this, right after [relative] has just been buried!"  WHAT?!  Of course, it is nearly six months later, and no money.  The nicest part of it all?  Someone in this relative's family sent SIL a Thank You card for the flowers.

        Signed - In Lieu Of Flowers, Please Send Family Drama
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frequent fry her - MsPen Frequent Fry Her TM - MsPen, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 29-JAN-08
Every year, Christmas has to be some kind of drama surrounding SIL's family.  MIL always insists on having the whole family come for Christmas, which usually involves DH and I rearranging our schedules, and, in many cases, taking time off of work to achieve this.  Even after all the trouble we go to, SIL rarely shows up.  We are always told that Christmas will be on a certain day, and if we cannot make it on that certain day, we will just have to miss it.  I've always figured that this means that SIL is more important than DH to MIL.  This year, SIL and Uncle can make it on a certain day, but DH works.  MIL said, "That's okay, you can come and bring my GS."  Great, but what about her son?  I called SIL, who said that the certain day MIL picked doesn't work for her, either.  I confronted MIL about it.  She said that we can change it to the date that works for both of us.  Cut to a few weeks later.  MIL was at my house, sitting on my couch, and said, "We're changing Christmas back, because Uncle can't make it on the new date."  She told us that the change was at the request of SIL, who can't make it on the new date anymore, and that it is the only date SIL and Uncle can both make it.  It's too bad that DH can't be there, and they'll have to get together after the New Year.  I lost my MIND.  I have never been so enraged in my life!  If SIL can't make it, heaven and earth must move.  But, the one year that it's impossible for us to juggle our schedule, we're told it's too bad?  Furthermore, since when is Uncle more important to her than her SON?  That is the most messed up thing I've ever heard.  The year before, he didn't even show up to Christmas!  In the end, the date was changed.  MIL called numerous times to accuse us of always skipping out on family gatherings (when it is her DD who does this consistently) and to warn us that we'd "better not cancel" on her.  She told us that, thanks to our unreasonableness, she will never do Christmas ever again.  Fine with me, because after the date was changed to a mutually agreed upon one (and we found out that no one was able to make it to the date MIL insisted we have!), SIL didn't even bother coming!

        Signed - Christmas Is A Time For Giving - Me A Headache
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