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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Needs An Outlet

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet/Posted: 23-JAN-03
CIL cannot make up her mind whether I am "too skinny and sickly", or "born with good genes.  NOT FAIR <pout>!"  I get accused of one or the other on a regular basis.  I run for an hour before work.  She does 20 sit-ups twice a week.  I watch my diet.  She flavors EVERYTHING with sugar.  While I was naturally thin in high school, even staying within the surgeon general's suggestions is hard work now that I'm older.  She admits that staying healthy is "too hard", but it's somehow unfair that those who do the work get the benefits?  I lost my temper about this once.  I finally got tired of it and pointed out that she might lose weight if she stopped making her homemade chocolate cake.  Her response?  "But it's low-fat, and I only have it, like, once a week!"  BTW, she cooks for one - herself.  A 9x11 pan of chocolate cake is going to make you fat even if it does have 20% less fat!

        Signed - She Might Lose Weight If She Stopped Chocolate Cake

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet/Posted: 23-JAN-03
Her most recent gem:  A few years ago, CIL moved into a little apartment that was sort of falling apart, but it was cute.  There were enough roommates to make it cheap.  She has had probably 10 or 20 roommates come and go in the past 5 years, since most of them are undergraduate students, and not stable.  She complains about them (they're irresponsible, immature, etc.,), but stayed in that situation because it was "better than having to get a real, full-time job".  Well, she isn't easy to live with.  She knows it, but figures that she is messed up because of her father.  Therefore, she should get special permission to be a flake.  The rest of us have to make up for her.  Two months ago, she had another set of roommates who decided that they couldn't stand her, and they moved out.  Her landlady let her stay there and pay her portion of the rent.  But, the good woman told her that, in January, she would have to pay full rent or leave.  In addition, CIL's temp job ended in November.  How dare they end her job the moment she needs the money!  Last night, I got a call from her.  She wanted DH to give her a ride to the airport when she goes home for Christmas.  She isn't going to get a seasonal job so that she can pay her rent in full.  She isn't going to be looking for an apartment or packing up her stuff.  She decided that she "didn't want to deal with it", and thought it would be better to just go home, relax, and ignore her landlady.  "She can't REALLY kick me out, can she?"  She did find one roommate.  One roommate.  She had him pay his rent directly to her.  She didn't give the money to her landlady - she took it and used it to buy her plane ticket home for the holidays.  "She already said it was okay that I just pay my portion, so what difference does it make?".  I can see that reality and CIL are moving on a parallel track, and they are FINALLY going to collide!  Is it wrong of me to enjoy this?

        Signed - Is It Wrong Of Me To Enjoy This?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet/Posted: 23-JAN-03
CIL isn't that good about paying her rent.  Part of this has to do with the fact that she has only worked scut-level temp jobs since she graduated from college 10 years ago.  The other part is that she will spend money if she has it.  The first time she couldn't make her half, I told her to pay it back when she could.  After the third time, I finally clued in that I wasn't going to see it again.  That was after she went out to buy herself a new set of professional quality water colors ($500+) because she "needed them" if she was going to make any money painting.  When she moved in with me again, I made her cough up her portion every month.  She started borrowing from new friends every month.  But begging for money every month became tiresome, and I wasn't letting her get away with anything, so she moved out.  CIL moved into a new place, and that December she decided to take the whole month off so she could go home and let her mother spoil her.  She had been working full time for three whole months, and she was tired.  Well, she came back and didn't have a dime.  CIL told her new roommate to just suck it up.  New roomy (who is more forceful than I am) put her on a payment plan.  She came over to my apartment to cry, "She's sooooo mean!"

        Signed - She's Sooooo Mean!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 21-JAN-03
Ho, ho, ho!  A place to rant about my evil cousin-in-law!  Yes CIL.  I have problems with MIL too, but it is the CIL who really gets my goat.  A little background:  I lived in a house as an undergrad with five other women.  We didn't know each other when we moved in, and we all got along pretty well, since we all were busy studying.  I graduated at the same time as CIL, and we moved into an apartment together, since our half-hour of interaction per week had shown that we had many things in common.  I soon found out that she was an absolute weirdo.  After a few emotionally and financially draining months, I moved out.  Five months later, she showed up on the doorstep of my new apartment and talked my new roommate into taking her in.  She lived off of us for another nine months.  Finally, I gave her a choice between paying bills and moving out (not compassionate or even mature, but I was ready to leave her body in a dumpster).  In the meantime, she introduced me to DH.  After 4 years, we were married.  I gained a great husband, but this means I am stuck with CIL.  Oh well, what can I do but laugh?  This is why I have started this FFH page, so I can document all the gems.  The only way for me to deal with this situation is to laugh.  I hope all readers will not try to feel outrage on my behalf, but instead will laugh with me.  According to CIL, she is the epitome of class and intellect.  Her tastes are refined, and reflect a world of perfect forms.  Anything that has to do with money is "trashy".  Pop culture in any form is "vulgar".  Anyone who does not agree with her political views is "ignorant".  She is too good for most jobs.  She is too delicate for most jobs.  She is a trophy wife waiting for prince charming to sweep her off her feet.  She is waiting and waiting.

        Signed - Needs An Outlet

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 21-JAN-03
CIL loves to read, but she will only touch "classics".  Anything else is lowbrow and trashy.  I, on the other hand, love modern literature, classic literature, trashy novels, popular novels, obscure novels - I'll read just about anything.  I have a particular weakness for "whodunits".  CIL, the pure, was reading "Middlemarch", and read only "Middlemarch".  She read every evening while in front of the TV, which was turned to sitcoms.  She wasn't watching the sitcoms (too vulgar).  But, we couldn't turn off the TV because she needed "noise".  She let me know, at every opportunity, that SHE would never touch a novel written before 1920, and that I was rotting my mind by reading the stuff.  One day, was cleaning up my half of our bedroom.  Even though she had given me strict orders not to touch her stuff, I figured that she wouldn't mind if I folded the pile of sweaters that was on the floor (directly in front of the door to our room).  I was tired of tripping over the d@mn things.  Well, after I had folded about 15 sweaters, I struck something heavy and hard in that pile.  There, under the sweaters, were at least 20 mass-market romance novels, the kind with the heaving bosoms on the front.  I nearly peed my pants.  I carefully stacked them at the foot of her bed with the sweaters.  She never mentioned them, and pretended that they weren't hers.

        Signed - Pretended That They Weren't Hers

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 22-JAN-03
The worst gift giver is me.  Yes, me.  CIL does not consider any gift under $100 worth her while.  She "knows I can afford it".  Never mind that I have a HUGE family, and gifting could easily run me into credit card he!! if I didn't keep it under control.  I got CIL a toaster-oven for Christmas.  She took one look at it and said, "Oh, I really wanted a microwave."  I said, "You said that you wanted a toaster-oven."  She said, "Yes, but I wanted a microwave more."  You're welcome!  Have a merry dig fest!

        Signed - Have a merry dig fest!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Needs An Outlet, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Needs An Outlet, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 22-JAN-03
A conversation ten years ago:
Me:  You know, CIL, you need to pay your half of the utilities.  I know you can because you spent quite a bit on CDs this month.
CIL:  But I needed those CDs!  They're collectors' editions, and will be worth lots of money someday.  Besides, you can afford to pay the whole bill.
Me:  Well, because I paid for the whole bill, I don't have any money left over for CDs.  If we both paid our share, we could both have money left over.  Could you budget.
CIL:  Budget?  I don't deal with money.  It's vulgar.  Ms. Roosevelt SAYS that anyone who talks about money is vulgar.  You're being vulgar.  You can't drag me down with you.  I won't let you.  As long as I can get along without worrying about money, I'm not going to.
That was then.  A few months ago, CIL was in the room when I was talking about retirement plans with a mutual friend.  CIL peeked and found out how much I had in my IRA.  Oops.  It isn't a whole lot - just a little bit of each paycheck.  But, since CIL has lived from paycheck to paycheck to daddy's handout, it looks like a nice sum of money.  Suddenly, she is talking about money.  She has repeatedly given me a verbal list of everything she would buy if she had my retirement account.  She has it mentally spent it down to the last penny!  Even though I haven't paid any of her bills for the past eight years, she still thinks that every bit of my paycheck that I don't spend is hers!  Nope.  According to her, I'm not allowed to have a retirement account.  Even though she has said that she "isn't sure that she believes in Social Security".  Riiiiiight.  I'm sure it's too vulgar to ask her what we are supposed to do after we can't work anymore!

        Signed - I'm Sure It's Too Vulgar

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S


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Dr. Terri Apter
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