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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Not Sure She's All There
Age: 21       MIL Age: 37

frequent fry her - Not Sure Shes All There Frequent Fry Her TM. - Not Sure She's All There, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 07-SEP-13
Hi.  This is my first post, so I'm sorry if it's a little different.  My future MIL and I actually do get on well the majority of the time, because when she bugs me (which is a lot) I never stand up to her (because I'm too nervous).

My BF is her eldest of 7.  We have been together for 5 years, lived together for 3, and have a DD of 7 months.

My FMIL is nice, but is very different than what I am used to.  I have always secretly disagreed with her on things, but been too afraid to say anything.  That is ... until a couple of days ago ...

We were out having a picnic at her youngest child's school, and FMIL was discussing some of the problems my FBIL has (he has ADHD, aspergers, etc.).  I was minding my own business, as the conversation did not involve me, when she turned to me and asked me what I thought about my BF's anxiety problems.  She has asked this many times before, but this time I just couldn't sit back and say nothing.  So, I politely said that, while I agreed that he was shy and didn't like talking to new people, I didn't agree that it was a diagnosable medical issue, and that it is over-exaggerated.  This isn't just my opinion.  This is also my BF's opinion.  But he doesn't want to rock the boat with his mother either.

She then informed me that my BF doesn't tell me how he feels about things, but that he would tell her (which he never has, BTW) because she knows him better!

This anxiety issue, that she says he has, has caused so many problems for us already.  She took BF to the doctors for depression, even when he told her he didn't feel depressed.  She told us that, while I should return to work after my maternity leave, BF shouldn't get a job because he wouldn't be able to cope with talking to anyone!

She has diagnosed all of her 7 children with one issue or another (according to her: FSIL has anger problems; FBIL1 has ADHD, aspergers and autism; FBIL2 has ADHD, and anger problems; FBIL3 has an attachment disorder; etc.).

The thing that makes me angry is that when BF is with me, I see that he will talk to people.  If someone angers him (e.g. sales people, etc.) he has no problem telling them about it.  So, it's just his mother he can't stand up to!

Rant over!

        Signed - Don't Think BFs Ill
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frequent fry her - Not Sure Shes All There Frequent Fry Her TM. - Not Sure She's All There, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 07-SEP-13
This isn't so much a story, other than an issue that bewilders me.  My BF is severely sight impaired, and so receives a small amount of benefit to make his life a little easier.  This money is still paid into my FMIL's account every month.  This wasn't a huge issue when my BF lived at home, as she would take out of it the rent for his room, and give him the remainder.  He never missed it.

To still have it in her name, and the letters about him going to her house like a child, seems strange to me.  All his letters about eye appointments go to her house, and she makes the appointments without asking first.  Even the letters that are addressed to him, she opens and says, "Oh, I thought it was for me!"  Even though their names are nowhere near similar.

He won't say anything about taking control over his own money, or even changing his address with the hospital, for fear of offending his mother!

        Signed - Worried He'll Be Under Her Control Forever
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frequent fry her - Not Sure Shes All There Frequent Fry Her TM. - Not Sure She's All There, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 07-SEP-13
As soon as we announced that I was pregnant, my FMIL decided to warn us to never use our child as a weapon to get her to do things (as if we would).  She told us that if we ever refused her access, she would see us in court!

It had never crossed my mind to withhold access for no reason!  She was so threatening about it, that it made me worry that she wanted my baby.

I had to look into grandparents rights.  I don't think she would stand anywhere legally in this country, but it really troubled me all throughout my pregnancy.  It worried me that if she wasn't given enough access, she would sue us.

        Signed - Seems Silly Now, LOL
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frequent fry her - Not Sure Shes All There Frequent Fry Her TM. - Not Sure She's All There, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 07-SEP-13
My BF has the same bank account that he has had since he was a kid.  Back then, they would make accounts joint onto your parents account, so that your parents could control your money.

Well, this led to an incident that happened when we (my BF and I) were on holiday.  He went to withdraw money, only to find out that he had none!  When he called his mother, she just said, "Yeah, I took it because I needed to pay back some money I borrowed from your aunt.  But, I'll give it back soon."

It made my blood boil, because she didn't even ask to borrow it.  Other than a slight moan, my BF said nothing!

This happened again a few weeks ago.  This time, she only took money out of his account to pay a bill in the morning, but put the money back again in the afternoon.  But, she didn't even ask him!

        Signed - What If He Needed It?!
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frequent fry her - Not Sure Shes All There Frequent Fry Her TM. - Not Sure She's All There/Posted: 07-SEP-13
I live across the road from my FSIL, and just down the road from my FMIL.  When I had my DD, she was preemie, and was doing a bit poorly, so no one was allowed to visit her in the hospital.

On the day she was discharged, we told our families that we would let them know when we were home and ready for visitors.  As soon as we got into our flat, FSIL, her BF and her DD showed up saying they saw the light on.  This was a little intrusive, but I understand that she was excited.

However, then FMIL, FSFIL, and their 5 children showed up too.  FSIL texted them as soon as we got home!  We only have a 1 bedroom flat, and it's tiny.  So it was really cramped.

They stayed for a couple of hours, passing my DD around.  This happened to also be my 21st birthday, and I knew that family wouldn't remember it because of the baby, and I was ok with that.  At least, I was okay until FMIL said, "Sorry that no one cares about your birthday.  We only want to see the baby."

I'm not sure if that was a joke or not, but either way . . .

        Signed - It Was Pretty Insensitive
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


The Sister Knot, Apter
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Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
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