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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
Fry HerTM
Outcast
The Beginning
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- outcast, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 31-OCT-08
The Wedding: MIL showed absolutely no interest in our wedding.
Any time anyone would ask about the plans (to me in front of her or
just to her), she would change the subject or say something stupid,
that was completely untrue. She would have to do this because
she never cared to ask any questions or to see if we needed any help
with things. When someone asked her, for example, what color
the bridesmaids' dresses were and she didn't know, she'd just make
something up. I figured out that she was doing this when someone
she had talked to would say, "Oh, I heard your bridesmaids' dresses
were blue." I'd say, "No, they're burgundy.
Who told you they were blue?" When my MOH was planning
the bridal shower, she contacted my FMIL by phone several times to
get names and addresses of people from her family to invite.
The day the invitations were to go out in the mail, my MOH still did
not have any addresses and she called me in a panic. I had to
go to her house, personally get the addresses, and copy each one from
her address book. Then, I read each address to my MOH over the
telephone - all because she couldn't do this in the six weeks or so
notice that she was given in advance. Jumping ahead to the bridal
shower, which she never offered to do anything for, she showed up
after the start time and sat in the back of the room with one of her
friends and one of her sisters, and continued to laugh and talk (in
her oh so whiney voice) during the whole event. Talk about trying
to take attention away from where it was intended to be - on the future
bride!! It is tradition that the groom's family host the rehearsal
dinner, which they did, but she was much too busy to really do anything
with it, and had her parents (groom's elderly grandparents) plan all
the food for this event. This was probably for the best, because
we actually ended up with the dinner we requested. If she had
planned it, it would have been the complete opposite of what we had
wanted. To sum things up, she was completely unhelpful and absent
for the wedding of her son. I was given an explanation for her
behavior at my baby shower, which will be my next story.
Signed - The Forgotten
Bride
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Fry Her TM Page
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- outcast, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 31-OCT-08
The Baby: DH and I found out we were pregnant
about one month after our wedding. Considering that this was
my MIL's first GC, she was none too pleased - never asking how things
were going or if we needed anything. She is a complete know-it-all.
When my DH called her to tell her that we were pregnant, she never
said congratulations. All she said was, "Oh, I just knew
it." Like she is "The All-Knowing", or something.
DH and I were kind of hoping that our first child would be a boy (even
though we really didn't care). So, just to irritate us, MIL
would always say, "Oh, it's going to be a girl," or, "I
hope it's a girl." It's like, just let it go, and let us
have our moment here. Then, when the ultrasound came and we
found out that it was a boy, she completely changed her tone and it
became, "I knew it would be a boy," and, "MY (note
the my) family can only have boys." ???? I have never
understood this comment. Then, the defining moment came.
The moment that has explained her attitude towards me. At my
baby shower, she announced to a friend, but loud enough for everyone
in the room to hear, that she is glad we were having a boy because
she wants to always be the only girl in the family. She has
3 boys of her own, but I guess that I don't count as a member of her
family. That explained it all, and left me wondering where I
stood as a part of my DH's side of the family. I guess that
I have no real place there. That's okay. When I told DH
about this, he told me not to worry about it, that she can be like
that, and that sometimes he doesn't even feel like a part of the family.
Even though he is successful in his career, he still feels like an
outcast because he didn't go into the family business. Instead,
he got a degree and made his own life. This lovely MIL has never
expressed any pride in her son, but sees him as a disappointment because
he wanted to do something different. Next Story: Mid-life
Crisis.
Signed - The Un-Joyous
Occasion
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Fry Her TM Page
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- outcast, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 2-NOV-08
The Mid-life Crisis: I believe that I stated in one of my earlier
stories that my ILs were going through a mid-life crisis of sorts.
Well, being grandparents didn't slow them down at all. They
continued to be gone for days and weeks at a time, usually doing biker
things. This also didn't stop the wonderful MIL from trying
to make her son and me feel bad when she would come around to see
her GS (we do live in the same small town) and he would want nothing
to do with her. He would cry when she held him, and would never
reach for her. She would always say, "Well, you just don't
know THIS grandma." Like we were keeping him from her or
something. One time, DH did respond that maybe if they were
around a little more, he would actually remember them from visit to
visit. He said, "You can't expect an infant to remember
and respond to someone you see once every other month or so."
Then, about a year after our son was born, they were in an accident.
It was bad, but both have recovered. Now, I don't want to sound
insensitive through these next couple of statements, but I'm afraid
I will. Anyways, it has been over a year since they had the
accident, and both, but especially MIL, had several surgeries.
But, she can conveniently be fine some days, when it suits her, and
she can be in horrible pain other days. For example, we had
a party at our house, with some family members and friends.
One of our friends was at the local grocery store the morning of the
party and saw MIL there walking fine without limping or using any
sort of walking assistance. He said that if you didn't know
she was in an accident, you would never have guessed it by how she
looked that morning. Conveniently enough, a few hours later,
when she arrived at our house, she could barely get out of the car.
It took almost 10 minutes for her to walk from the driveway to the
front door, and she was walking with a huge limp, moaning and groaning
with every movement, and using a cane. Our friend made this
comment to her, in front of pretty much everyone at the party, "Well,
what do you have that cane for? You didn't have that earlier
at the grocery store?" She turned every shade of red you
could imagine and responded that she needed it to get around on the
uneven surface of our front yard. She could walk through an
entire grocery store, reaching for items, lifting things, and bending
over, but she couldn't walk 15 feet from the car to a chair to sit
down. Like I said, I don't want to sound insensitive, because
I really don't know how she feels, and I'm sure that she does have
some pain. But, when the pain comes and goes at convenient times
(about a month before said party she was riding in a speedboat on
the river), I have a hard time feeling too bad for her. It is
especially hard when, over a year after the accident, every single
conversation she has or tries to have with us is dominated by talk
of the accident and how hard things have been for her. For example,
we recently had a second child, and while I was in the operating room
having a C-section, she, her DH and my parents were in the waiting
room. My mother told me that all she talked about while they
waited was how just being in a hospital again was bringing back such
horrible memories for her. She just made any conversation all
about her. My mom was getting so frustrated with her that she
almost told her shut-up, that her DD was in the middle of surgery
and having another baby, and that this moment was not about her -
it was about me and her son and the baby we were having. Once
again, when the baby was brought to the nursery and she saw him for
the first time, the first thing she said was, "Oh, he looks just
like MY family." Funny, though, he looks nothing like her
family. He looks exactly like me, and her DH even told her this
in front of my parents. That shut her up for a little bit.
Signed - The Insensitive
DIL
( respond to this story )
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Fry Her TM Page
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- outcast, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 3-NOV-08
I met the love of my life, and then I met his
mother. Now, I have to admit that at the beginning I actually
told people that I liked her. How things can change. I
have come to have no respect for this woman, and can barely stand
to be in the same room with her. DH knows how I feel, and agrees
with me on most of my issues with her. It all started very early
on (before she was even my MIL). The Beginning: Let me
start with explaining my statement of how I have no respect for her.
DH has told stories from his childhood which make me think, "What
the he!!?" For example, they did not attend any of his
extracurricular events. They forgot to pick him up from after
school activities and teachers had to track them down - at local bars.
His parents have been going through a mid-life crisis, with MIL being
the worst. They were into motorcycles and would go on week long
"rides" in which she would often return with a new tattoo.
We would always hear stories about what happened at these kinds of
events (usually involving her being naked, or at least topless in
public, and just not acting her fifty-some years of age). And,
last but not least, she treated a friend of my DH's more like a son
than she treated her own actual son. So, now maybe you have
a picture of just what type of person I'm dealing with, and why I
have very little respect for her. It's a hard place to be, because
DH did come from her and I couldn't ask for more with him. I
think he's absolutely perfect - except in how he deals with her, at
times. Next story, The Wedding.
Signed - The Beginning
Of The End
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Fry Her TM Page
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Working Women Don't Have Wives