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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan
Age: 25    MILAge: 51

My MIL Is Insane!

frequent fry her - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 14-JUN-03
Why am I calling myself "Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan"?  If you go into my IL's home, you will be terrified by the amount of peach and teal they used.  They, obviously, decorated their home in the 1980s, and are too cheap to update it.  They have a teal leather couch in the living room, the walls are painted teal in the front hall, their dining room table is a former board room table from FIL's workplace, and is too long, and the kitchen is a bare minimum stark white room with peach accents, including a peach fabric cover (that, sadly, must have been custom made) that fits perfectly over the toaster (i.e., the peach toaster-cozy).  I laughed my butt off the first time I saw that thing.  It reminds me of my first insane MIL experience.  Maybe the second time I was visiting my (DH) then boyfriend, I made myself some toast for breakfast, and, as is inevitable, some toast crumbs did fall.  MIL RAN to get her hand vacuum out of the charger and started vacuuming up around my feet.  Dude, she's messed up!

        Signed - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-JUN-03
On the day of our wedding, MIL seemed to behave herself for the most part, as she would, since she was in public and only really likes to berate DH in private.  Of course, she was sure to point out that one of the groomsmen ordered the wrong style of shirt, and that my dad's vest was "wrong".  Later, she mentioned that she thought the reception line should have started sooner.  My FIL's speech to (traditionally speaking, anyway) welcome me to the family conveniently failed to mention me at all (as pointed out by others - I didn't notice at the time).  They left the reception without even saying good-bye to their son, which was strange, as EVERYONE else came by to leave their best wishes with us.  And, I don't think that they complimented DH on looking handsome or the like, I know they didn't compliment me.  When we came back from the honeymoon and opened all the cards, their card was so cold that it gave me frostbite.  There were no personal greetings or messages, not even to their son, just their names and a point form list of our wedding gifts from them - plane tickets (which were bought with air miles that FIL accumulated while flying on business), use of a car on our honeymoon (we paid for the gas, and DH was already covered under their insurance), and use of their time-share condo (which they had already prepaid for the year, and decided not to use anyway).  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but my ILs are definitely not hurting financially in any way (with FIL's 6 figure salary).  All I'm saying is - would it have hurt them to include a picture frame, or something tangible and sentimental?  I know, I'm expecting too much from them in that respect.  It's the way I was raised.  I have loving parents who don't keep score over the little things, like borrowing a car, and that makes me surprised when other parents do.

        Signed - Who Is Keeping Score?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-JUN-03
I like to read other people's stories so that I know that I'm not alone as far as extremely insane MILs go.  Currently, my DH and I live with my parents, due to circumstances beyond our control (including my DH's health).  And, we visit his parents about twice a month, as we will be moving far away and won't be able to see each other as much in the near future.  I know it will be better for us when we get some space between us and the ILs (although SIL and BIL are normal).  But, I do have a lot of stories about my insane MIL.  I have a very good memory as far as remembering conversations and events, but I would love it if I could forget some of the cr@p she's pulled.  I realize that I am lucky, in the respect that my DH can be objective and see how incredibly inappropriate/rude his mother can be - she's been criticizing everything he does his whole life, so he knows better than me what she can be capable of.  The worst story to date happened only a week ago.  My MIL waited until the other ILs left the house so that only she, my DH and I were at her home.  My DH was lying down, as he has health problems that leave him feeling easily fatigued, amongst other things (but nothing life threatening).  It has been hard on him and everyone around him, and the last thing he needs is excessive stress.  MIL decided that she "needed to get things out in the open", and started throwing a temper tantrum by stomping around and yelling at DH for allowing the little hairs from a hair cut to get all over her perfectly clean kitchen's white tile floor.  These were a few tiny hairs that wouldn't normally be visible to the average human eye, unless you were specifically searching for them.  I had given him a hair cut with clippers in the basement washroom, like I had 20 times before.  No notice was ever taken of the tiny hairs, and, of course, we cleaned up after ourselves to minimize any transfer.  Anyway, I stood up for him and told her that he'd had a shower.  She then started in on me about not helping her keep her house clean and doing chores like I had apparently promised (which I didn't).  "I shouldn't have to ask," she repeated.  I replied to this by pointing out that I always put my dishes in the dishwasher.  I used to do more or volunteer more in the past, but she's soooo psycho about her house being just "so".  Chores in her house have to be done her way, at a certain time of day, or she'll freak out and yell and scream at everyone.  It was too self defeating for me to continually set myself up for her to correct me or yell at me for not doing things her way.  This turned into an ugly exchange of her wild accusations of what a terrible person I am, and how everything is my fault.  I followed by defending myself, and she downplayed/explained away my replies so that she was still right and I was wrong.  She told me that I run away from all my problems, I never take responsibility, I'm secretive, I've been in competition with her over DH "since the second I stepped foot in her door", I don't talk enough, and I read too much (therefore, my life is incredibly boring, and she feels sorry for me).  If I had written this a week ago, there would probably have been a lot more swearing.  None of this is true, of course.  I'm waiting for immigration to approve me for a green card, so I'm stuck at my parent's until I can cross the border.  She's still pissed off because DH and I didn't live with them when DH took a medical leave and came to be with me for the last 6 months.  And, she tried to keep us hostage (so to speak) at her place.  I called my parents to come and pick us up.  I can be shy at times, but I really have nothing that I want to chat about with her.  She is sooo judgmental, and she automatically dispenses her 2 cents of advice or opinion, whether it's wanted or not.  So, this whole terrible argument left my DH crying and me super mad, just when I thought I couldn't possibly hate her anymore.  The saddest part is that she picked a fight with me on purpose at the expense of my DH.  She had the sickest, smug smile on her face during the argument, and she didn't shut up until DH said that all these misunderstandings are his fault because he doesn't communicate well.  He knows that this is not true, but that was what she was looking to hear so she could bully him further.  An hour after the argument, she said to DH, "I'm so glad that we had that talk today."  DH didn't want to leave, because he was flying out the next morning and wanted to say good-bye to his siblings, although ...

        Signed - I Don't Know Why I Didn't Insist

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 4 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 20-JUL-03
The story of when my evil MIL tried to hold us hostage:  My DH and I were visiting over New Year's for about a week.  We were unable to borrow my parents' car over that time period, as my (high school age) sister was working every day over Christmas break.  So, instead, we got a ride with BIL, and were suppose to get one back with him Saturday morning.  MIL had already yelled at me earlier in the week for not cleaning her kitchen well enough, because the dishwasher wasn't locked closed and dust got in (even though it was DH, but I wasn't going to tell her that).  Dust in the dishwasher!!  Isn't that insane?  So, I REALLY wanted to leave.  BIL told us on the Friday afternoon that he wanted to go skiing on the weekend, and could we drive the car to his place and he'd hitch a ride with a friend on Sunday.  This sounded like somewhat of a doofusy plan to me, as we had to get someone else to pick us up at BIL's and then do a car key switch later.  But, anyway, DH told MIL on Saturday morning that we wanted to get going back to my parents' place.  MIL flipped out, and started yelling at DH because she didn't think we should leave, and she actually told him that he "wasn't allowed to go".  Then, she drove off in BIL's car on her errands instead of using the van that she usually drives.  I refused to play along with this sick little game, so I called my nice parents to come and pick us up, and we left.  MIL played this same control game on DH while we were dating.  I would get a call on Friday evening from DH saying that he wasn't allowed to come, because he didn't ask for the car soon enough.  This is the 12-year-old former family car that DH drove to his job at the time (and it is BIL's to drive now, but it is still the IL's car, legally).  She would rather have it sit in the driveway overnight and not be used in order to teach DH a lesson.  She's a sick b!tch.  I guess that my FIL just goes along with this cr@p, as he is soooo whipped.  They are really pathetic.

        Signed - They Are Really Pathetic

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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