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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Red Woman, Blue State
Age: nearly 32    MIL Age: 56

frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate/Posted: 23-JUL-08
*Sigh*.  She's at it again!  My DH, the kids and I are moving in with GMIL.  She is in her mid-80s, and has not been getting around well on her artificial hip.  So, we are moving in to her house to help out (we only rent, whereas she owns her single-family house).  GMIL will put DH's name on the house, making him a co-owner.  If anything happens to her, we get the house.  GMIL and MIL have a horrible habit of always picking fights with one another that escalate into screaming-cursing matches.  While we were over there moving some of our stuff in, they had one such fight.  DH asked them to stop acting this way in front of our kids, saying that children shouldn't be exposed to this behavior.  MIL jumped all over him and started yelling at him.  DH then left the house to wait in the car, and asked me to join him with the kids.  As I was packing up the kids to get into the car, MIL was talking badly to them about their father.  I hit the roof, and started yelling at MIL that she was not to speak badly about their father to them.  She started screaming and cursing at me.  She looked so ridiculous that I started to make fun of her, which really unhinged her.  When we got home, DH and I talked about this incident.  I told him what his mother had said about him, and that is why I fought with her.  DH said that I am the only one in the family who doesn't fight with her (he's right about that), that MIL must feel really bad about it, and that I should apologize to her.  WTF!?  I said, "Not until I get one from her first."  The next day, MIL came over and we made up, or so I thought.  See, she is painting our bedroom at GMIL's house.  That same day that we made up, I got a call at lunchtime from DH.  Apparently, MIL grabbed the wrong color paint, and now our new bedroom, instead of being a light tan, is now a bright orange-yellow!  It's hideous.  I had told a coworker about the fight (the first time I had ever done so), and told her later on about the paint color.  The first words out of her mouth were, "Well, she got back at you, didn't she?"  And, the more I think about it, the more I think that she's right.

        Signed - It's Hideous
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate/Posted: 19-JUL-08
MIL is a piece of work.  DH is one of five kids.  The youngest is a 16 year old sister (we'll call her DS5).  When DS5 was in elementary school, MIL got into trouble with the school for having DS5 out too much.  This was because all of MIL's friends' kids were either in high school, or grown and out of the house.  So, when she wanted to hang out with them, she would have to be the first one to leave the fun to pick up DS5 from school.  MIL would just not have DS5 go to school for the day, and claim that she was out because of an asthma attack.  Meanwhile, DS5 was going to karate class and winning competitions.  She was too sick to go to school, but not too sick to compete and pump up MIL's ego?  And, when she did go to school, MIL would rush her to get her homework done so that she could hang out with her friends again.  When she got stuck on her homework, MIL would do it for her.  So, the school threatened to call Social Services on MIL unless DS5 attended school more regularly.  MIL's solution?  HOMESCHOOL!  Which, for DS5, meant do whatever the he!! you want, con your smarter friends to do the work for you, and you and MIL can hang out with your friends all day!  DS5 hasn't been to regular school since 5th grade.  I had her and my DD help me bake one time.  DS5 was 13, and my DD was 8.  I asked DS5 to get me "a quarter cup of water".  The measuring cup had the measurements in fractions on the side.   She brought me back 2 cups worth of water.  Even my DD knew that she was wrong.  I asked her if she knew that the measurements were on the side.  She said that she saw them, but she didn't know what fraction "a quarter" was.  Now DS5 and MIL don't even live in the same house.  MIL basically lives with whatever family in the area has a spare room, claims the spare room as her own, and stays until she gets sick of having to follow the house rules.  DS5 lives with one of DH's older brothers.  She does nothing all day but hang out with friends, drive them around in her car, and bum money off of family members, just like MIL.  Stupid oldest BIL pays for the car and the insurance.  I looked at DS5's online page and found pictures of her and her friends drinking and doing something illegal.  It listed oldest BIL's business as a company that she is affiliated with.  I reported this to MIL and oldest BIL.  Their response was that when confronted, DS5 refused to go to church, and they'd rather ruin the business that keeps them running than risk her turning her back on the Lord.  My response was, "What about spare the rod, spoil the child?"  There was no comeback to that, but the pictures are still up.  Nice!

        Signed - Unbelievably Bad Parenting
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate/Posted: 18-JUN-08
I'm shaking just typing this story.  As Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons would say, I've had the "Worst Weekend Ever!"  On Saturday, my DH was working, and I was home with the kids, MIL,and GMIL.  We are buying GMIL's house, and she is staying with us.  My 2 DSs were having a fight over a video game, and my youngest DS was crying about it.  My oldest DS is my son from my 1st marriage.  I decided that if they couldn't play without fighting, then I would take the system away from them both.  MIL jumped in (as she always does), and said that it's not fair to our youngest son, why should he be punished.  I said that this fighting is something that always happens, and I'm handling it, so it's not up for discussion.  MIL then cuddled my youngest DS and told him that oldest DS is the worst brother ever, in front of me.  I yelled, "Don't talk about my son like that!"  She yelled at me, and then cursed out my oldest DS, my whole side of the family, and me.  She said that she spends so much money on me and the kids, and I should be grateful for it.  I respond with, "What money?  You're a SS/welfare/car-accident mooch!"  She continued being nasty, so I told her to leave the house or I would call the cops.  She turned to GMIL and asked if she could stay.  GMIL said that she would not kick her DD out of her house.  So, I packed up the kids to leave.  MIL suddenly got hit with guilt (probably knowing that I'd complain to DH about it), and wanted me to stay.  I said that under no circumstances would I stay in the same building as her.  My kids went out to the car, and MIL tried to restrain me.  She had a hold of my arms and would not let me go, and she was shouting at me the whole time.  I tried to shake her off, but I couldn't.  I gave her a hard shove to my side, she fell to the floor, and I headed out of there (the kids and I didn't even have shoes on).  I went to my DH's work to talk to him about what had happened.  He already knew the whole story, as MIL had called and tattled.  I told him that I didn't like fighting with her, but that I would defend myself if I needed to.  He told me that, under the laws of the state we live in, because she is 60, I could go to jail for senior abuse, even though she put her hands on me 1st.  I had to promise him that I would never do that again.  Then, he punished my DSs (both of them) for causing the fight.  WTF?!!  Normally, my DH is a reasonable guy, but this was ridiculous.  At least MIL and GMIL stayed away the rest of the weekend.  But, is DH right?  Can I get arrested for defending myself against a 60 year old?

        Signed - Good Thing She Didn't Shoot Me
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-MAY-08
Allow me to start at the beginning.  I met DH when I was 19.  I had a kid, and was divorcing my freak-of-nature ex-DH.  DH was 16, and was a friend of ex-DH.  In fact, MIL was best friends with X-MIL.  I know, I know, not the smartest situation to get into.  But, don't worry, it has a happy ending.  MIL has 5 kids, ranging in ages from late 30s to mid-teens.  Once MIL's kids reach the age of 13, she stops raising them.  So, at 16 DH lived with me, since his mom didn't care where he was or where he stayed.  Now, they had recently moved north, and the only people whom they knew were X-MIL and ex-DH.  She didn't know me from a hole in the ground.  But, hey, she didn't have to feed my DH or make sure that he went to school or worry about having a roof over his head.  So it's all good, right?  Basically, I raised my DH.  After we had been dating for about 6 months, MIL decided that she wanted to be a mom again and wanted DH and me to move in with her.  This infuriated X-MIL.  MIL loved to tell me how to raise my son, because she had geniuses in her family that tested unbelievably high in IQ tests.  If only I would listen to her, then my son could be a genius, too.  Unbeknownst to me, MIL would call X-MIL and throw it up in her face that 16 year old DH was more of a man than my 20 year old ex-DH.  She also like to tell X-MIL that she was raising DS for me, and was doing a better job at it than X-MIL could.  So, I was surprised when X-MIL called DSS on me for child abuse of my son.  Apparently, if X-ILs couldn't have me back, they'd at least get my son.  Because of the DSS call, MIL was afraid that DH's youngest sibling, a sister who was 4 years old at the time, would be taken from her.  So, she kicked us out (even though I was paying the bills in her house, along with DH's maternal grandmother, who was sending money).  With nowhere else to go, DH and I moved in with his GM.  It was he!!ish.  It's a cramped 2 bedroom home that no one has taken care of.  The bathtub didn't drain properly, and his uncle, who was suffering from Parkinson's disease and OCD, lived there as well.  No one was allowed to use the 2 bedrooms upstairs, because that's where the uncle kept the parts of various TVs and VCRs that he had taken apart.  GMIL slept on the living room couch, and DH, DS, and I slept in the unfinished cellar.  After about 8 months of this, we were kicked out again.  This happened because I refused to provide personal care services to the uncle (even though I was pregnant and had no training in handling his meds or physical therapy).  We wound up in our own place.  Then, my delightful MIL decided to move back up north.  She moved in next door to DH and me.  More to come.

        Signed - Red Woman, Blue State
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-MAY-08
DH and I have been together for 13 years, married for 3.  I dragged my feet on marrying him, despite the fact that we have kids together, mostly because of his family.  MIL is obsessed with looks.  She used to be a beauty queen, and when she was younger, she was beautiful.  But, since then she was married to 2 terrible husbands, and popped out 5 kids by 3 different guys.  She is also an emotional eater.  So, she put on a lot of weight.  She was 5'2" and weighed over 200 lbs.  Her looks obsession transferred over to her children.  Her kids were the best looking, most attractive, and most likely to have anyone whom they wanted.  She loves pointing this out in front of other people, such as her DILs.  Once I had her GCs, she tried to pull the same bull on them.  Every time my kids had a hard time in school, it was because everyone was jealous of how good looking my kids were.  Hey, my kids are good looking, but being a good person and getting an education are more important.  MIL's DDs are attractive, but because of their looks, they never graduated from high school.  In fact, none of MIL's kids have.  But, lately, the DDs have put on a lot of weight, and haven't given MIL something to brag about.  So, what's a welfare collecting, looks-obsessed family mooch to do?  Why, you get Medicaid to pay for you to get gastric bypass surgery!(For those of you who don't know, that's the surgery that helps you lose a ton of weight fast.)  Now MIL is down to my size, and is much smaller than her DDs.  She loves to give her DDs and DILs her old "fat" clothes, as we are now closer to that size than she is, and she delights in making fat jokes at our expense.  So, instead of getting upset, I've decided to have fun with this.  Whenever she comes around (which is almost every day, unfortunately), I make sure that I have sweets, and my dear MIL is always offered some (after all, that's only polite, teehee).  I think that in 1 year's time I can have her back to her old fat self.  Is that wrong of me?  LOL!!

        Signed - Welfare Collecting, Looks-Obsessed Family Mooch
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-MAY-08
I was just reading some of IHateHer's stories about her MIL giving her used clothes as presents, and it reminds me of my dear MIL.  She also has a lovely habit of going to food pantries and getting used clothing and food there, and giving them to us.  The food is never something that we would eat, and we have our own food, so I don't know what that's all about.  And, the clothes are always waaay too big for us.  It's like she is trying to play this never-ending fat joke on us.  And, God forbid you should reject her presents, because that makes you an . . .

        Signed - Ungrateful Snob!
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frequent fry her - redwomanbluestate Frequent Fry Her TM - redwomanbluestate, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-MAY-08
Yay, 4th submission from me!  Now I get my own Frequent Fry-her!  I was going to tell you now about how MIL makes a living.  My MIL has 5 kids:  Number 1, who is in his late 30s now and single, # 2, who is in his mid-30s now, married, and expecting his 1st child with his wife, # 3, who is in her mid-30s and living with long-term BF, my DH, #4, who is in his late 20s and has 4 kids, and #5, who is 16.  The oldest 3 kids have the same dad.  My DH has a different dad, and little sister has still another dad.  MIL has only been married to the dads of the oldest 3 and the youngest girl.  When she was married to her 1st DH, she worked 3 jobs to support him and the kids, while he did nothing.  She continued to work this way after she divorced him until she met DH #2.  Then she divorced DH #2, when she was in her early 40s, right after she had #5.  Then, she discovered welfare and disability checks.  She hasn't worked since.  In the state where we live, you can only collect welfare for 2 years in a 5 year period.  So, MIL collects welfare for #5, then tried to have #5 claimed disabled due to asthma.  Meanwhile, #5 is competing and winning in national martial arts tournaments!  That child doesn't sound disabled to me!  When that didn't work, she discovered the art of the car accident.  She has gone through 5 cars in 5 years.  Every time she gets a new car, she has an accident and sues someone.  Because of all of her "accidents", she is now collecting disability for herself, and lives off of her lawsuits.  But, the thing is that she isn't getting a lot when she sues, so to make up the difference between her living expenses and her checks, she bums money off of her mother (who's on a fixed income), child #1, and #3 (whose BF makes a lot of money).  She's tried to bum off of DH and me, but with 4 kids we are just getting by, and I put a quash on that.  The sad thing is that she is teaching #5 to live like this as well.  Child #5 doesn't go to school, but has a car and a cell phone.  She just bums money off of GM, #1, and #3, just like MIL.  Oh, and let's not forget that when #1 goes all over the country for business, he takes MIL and #5 with him, all expenses paid.  And, when #3 goes to swanky vacation spots for the summer, or on a cruise, MIL and #5 go along for free, too.  Meanwhile, DH and I are lucky if we can scrape together enough money to take the kids camping in a tent for a week during the summer.  If anyone complains about the free vacations and the way #5 is materially spoiled, MIL cries that it's only fair, because she doesn't have a dad.  So, apparently, we all have to pay the price because she couldn't keep her 2nd marriage together.  Oh well.  At least my kids have learned the value of hard work, and won't expect family members to pay their way.  They'll wind up being better people for it.

        Signed - We All Have To Pay The Price
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