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Frequent Fry HerTM
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She Is Crazy
Age: 26   MIL Age: 56

My Husband & Child are More Important than the Bulls%$t

frequent fry her - sheiscrazy Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy/Posted: 10-DEC-10
Today I saw my MIL.  She gave me a bag of "goodies".  There were peanutbutter crackers for my son, about 5 apples and a newspaper article for my DH about schools (he's an assistant principal).  And, for me?  Well, I got a camisole for my big tatas, and a pamphlet that says, "Does God care about what I wear?"  Yep.  You heard it here.  Yet again, she is trying to cover up my size 36 Ds.  A bit bigger after my son was born.

Now, let me just say that I work in the field of education!  I do not dress like a harlot.  I dress with my breasts covered.  My lounge-wear consists of a t-shirt and swishy pants.  I went to Thanksgiving, at their house, with a sweater on and a tank top underneath it!  What in God's name can I do here?  I am asking, seriously.  I want some input.  Please feel free to add in the jokes, too.  But, honestly, besides ripping her head off (figuratively speaking of course), what can I do and say in response to that?  I don't want to lower myself to her passive-aggressive behavior.  I want to remain intelligent, dignified, and assertive.  I ALSO DO NOT WANT TO BE A DOORMAT.  I'VE BEEN THAT FOR FAR TOO LONG.

We went out to dinner last week, prior to Thanksgiving, for a retirement dinner for FIL (whom I adore).  MIL was wearing a very nice sparkled blue blouse.  It looked nice on MIL.  It was her color, for sure.  She was showing a little bit of cleavage.  I, personally, think a small amount of cleavage for special occasions is very womanly and nice looking, as long as you are not shooting for a "wardrobe malfunction".  So, she can dress and have a bit of cleavage, but, apparently, I need to be wearing turtleneck sweaters for the rest of my life!!!!!  Give me an H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E!  What's that spell?  My living he!!.  Good grief, someone give me some good advice.  PLEASE!

        Signed - I Am Doing The Best I Freakin' Can Not To Cut Her Off
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy/Posted: 15-OCT-10
I'm baaacccckkkk to share more lovely and fun tales of the past and present.  Suffice it to say, I still "put up" with her garbage because I love DH and DS.  My son loves his "Nana" and I never want to take that from him.  But, I dread putting up with her for the next ? years.  I tolerate her.  That's what I have promised to do.  And, I think I'm darn good at it.  Here's my story from today:  Quick conversation (long convos with her are like putting needles in your eyes) with my MIL today regarding Christmas present for DS.  She then switched the topic to gifts for all of us.  She said, "I'm thinking of getting you all clothes for Christmas.  What sizes are you all?"  I thought, "Yep, she's fishing."  So, I went through the order of sizes for all of us.  She asked about my size.  I asked, "What kind of clothes are you thinking?"  Obviously, there are different sizes for different types of clothing, right?  Pajamas.  Okay, medium or large for me.  "What if they come in pants sizes?"  SERIOUSLY!  WHAT PAJAMAS COME IN PANT SIZES?????  Okay, I'll lay it on the line.  I'm not ashamed.  I told her that I'm a size 8.  99% of my closet is a size 8.  There was silence for a moment.  She said, "Oh, you still wear an 8?"  Like she's surprised.  "Yep."  She went on for a bit and said, "Well, I like loose fitting clothes."  Obviously, she was suggesting that she thinks mine are tight.  And, no they're truly not.  Not tight, not loose, just right.  I'm not a gramma, yet.  I'm not going to dress like one.  After a minute of her babbling on, I politely hung up the phone and banged my head against the wall.  Too bad I'm so nice and I didn't tell her about how, the last time I saw her, the athletic pants she wore were giving her camel toe.  BTW, there's some history about the way I dress that goes way back.

        Signed - Let's Measure Butts And See Whose Is Bigger. BAM!
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy/Posted: 14-OCT-10
When I was younger and less wise to her evil ways, FMIL told me that I dressed too audaciously for her liking.  Okay, what was I supposed to do with that?  I looked at her, nodded my head, and moved on with life.  Now, I dressed like any 20 year old, respectable girl would dress.  My thong was never hanging out of my pants (because I don't wear them), I never had a wardrobe malfunction, etc.  Well, apparently I didn't fix it fast enough for her, because, that week, she went to my parent's house, knocked on their door, and told my mother that I didn't dress appropriately.  My mother, being the kind, Christian woman she is, politely said to her, "I understand that you feel this way, but I think my daughter dresses just fine.  As a matter of fact, she and I dress similarly.  If it makes you that uncomfortable, I will talk to her about dressing differently when going to your home to visit your son."  My mom is good people.  Too nice, but good people.  So, my mom did as she said she would.  I, being the smart@ss I am, went to my room, grabbed my winter coat (in July), and proceeded to walk out of the house to visit my BF.  Yea, my mom is sweet, and she talked me out of my anger, for the moment, but MIL would be back to start another fire soon enough.  P.S.  My mother does realize how cookoo cookoo this crazy woman is.  We just TOLERATE her.

        Signed - My MIL Has Always Been Afraid Of My C Cups
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 18-OCT-08
A Talk, Part I.  I had finally resolved myself to speaking with my MIL for her never-ceasing mouth that offends, hurts, and aggravates.  I had recently been told not to use the word "sucks", as if I was a child that needed to be reprimanded.  In addition to all of this, I am going back to work soon, and she had volunteered to watch my son a couple of days a week.  But, she and my FIL smoke, so I needed to speak with her about this, also.  I am very anti-smoke around my infant son.  I called her up and asked if I could come over so we could talk.  She complied.  I dropped my son off at my mother's house so my MIL and I could chat without interruption.  I began first with the baby-sitting situation.  I told her that my DH and I spent a lot of time thinking about her baby-sitting offer, but we fear for the smoke, and we do not want my son to get sick.  My family has a long history of asthma and allergies.  I didn't want to take the chance with my 3 month old.  I told her that we would love it if she would watch her grandchild, because we know she loves him very much and would take good care of him.  So, I asked her if she would be willing to come down and watch my son at our house.  I told her that we would pay her and compensate her for her gas money.  We only live about 12 miles away.  But, if she did not want to, we would understand and not be upset.  She snottily replied, "I don't think I want to do that."  At that point I wasn't angry at all.  But, to me, the conversation was over.  There is no way I am going to subject my child to secondhand smoke.  She then replied, "Well, I told DH we would smoke out in the garage."  I said, "Oh, that would be great, but if it isn't all the time, then it won't do the baby any good.  He would still be around the smoke.  So, don't worry about it."  She then said, "Maybe we can do that."  To which I said, "Well, I can't ask you to not smoke in your own home, but if you and FIL are willing to do that, that would be great.  But, I won't be offended if you tell me, 'No,' this is your home."  MIL said, "Well, he (the baby) is a good reason not to smoke in the house."  I said, "Absolutely, but you talk it over with FIL and let me know.  I won't be offended if you don't want to do that."  There is more to this story, so stay tuned for Part II  She said that she would let me know.  We then went on to talk about her telling me how to speak.  This conversation actually went quite well.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Until - - - she said that she wanted to talk to me about something, too.  She said that she noticed DH seemed stressed out.  Now, here's some background for you.  I work full-time, but am currently on maternity leave.  DH works full-time, coaches, and is pursuing his master's degree.  Is he under stress?  Yes.  I have noticed that myself, and have tried to do everything I can at home, including taking care of our infant son full-time, as well as all the household chores, to help him relax when he is at home.  She continued with, "I know you and DH have decided to split up the chores when you got married.  But, he seems stressed out.  So, maybe you need to give a little."  I am surprised I didn't have a brain aneurysm right then and there.  I felt my blood pressure rise, but, to my own surprise, I stayed calm and didn't start raving like a mad woman.  I calmly looked at her, and said, "Now, see, that is exactly what I am talking about.  It is not your place to say something like that.  And, just so you know, I have been doing everything around the house so he is a little less stressed out.  I am trying to help him, but that is not your place to say.  When you say things like that, I feel like you are making me out to be the Wicked Witch of the West or something."  She just stared at me for a while, and responded with, "Okay, you just tell me when I get out of line."  She was trying to recover from a moment of temporary brain damage.  I wanted to say, "NO PROBLEM SISTER, I WILL LET YOU KNOW."  But, I just quickly wrapped up the conversation, and headed out the door to pick up my baby from my mom's.  Seriously, does she have nothing better to do than to worry that I was sitting my @ss on the couch, eating Bon Bons, while her poor, pitiful son was slaving away around the house after a full day of working and coaching?  If I would have been thinking, instead of trying to control my blood pressure, I would have told her how her son didn't even mop the kitchen floor for me when I was 9 months pregnant, or after my C-section.  I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing away, after he promised me he would mop the floor, but always neglected to do that.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my DH very, very much.  He and my baby boy are the world to me, but, really, she raised her son to be that way.  He never did one chore the whole time he lived at home, so there is no surprise there.  But, now she's worried that I am Cruella DeVille, making him do everything around the house.  Well, guess what, honey?  You need to take that cancer stick out of your big mouth and stick it where the sun does not shine.

        Signed - The Sun Shines Somewhere Else!
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-OCT-08
The most recent stories are the craziest, I think.  I received an e-mail from my MIL, recently, asking us to give her our referral code for our satellite dish, so she can get a discount.  Thinking about how much I hate my dish, I e-mailed her back, "Just so you know, we hate ours.  When there is a storm, it goes out.  It sucks."  A couple days later I got a response.  Prepare yourself.  She wrote, "I would appreciate it if you didn't use the words sucks.  It reminds me too much of the 'F' word.  Maybe replace it with stinks."  Um, yea, since when did you become the politeness police.  And, I felt like she was treating me like a total child.  I am not a child, let alone her child.  I have my own mother, thank you very much.  And, she wouldn't even think to correct her 26 year old DD for a word like, "sucks".  Pick your battles, sister.  Well, this may sound like it isn't that big of a deal.  But, after a long line of abuses and usurpations (I love history), I had had enough already.  After I received this email I decided that I was going to speak to her, politely, and tell her how I felt.  But, that's a whole other story.

        Signed - Picked A Battle
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 5-OCT-08
The latest and greatest story I have includes parts from a previous story regarding my MIL.  During our last conversation, she OFFERED to watch my son when I go back to work.  But, she smokes.  So, I asked her if she would be willing to drive to my house, approximately 12 miles away.  I also told her that I would be paying her for this.  She declined.  But, then she proceeded to say that maybe she and FIL would be willing to smoke outside from here on out, if they watched my munchkin.  I told her that would be fantastic, but to talk it over with FIL and to let me know.  I also said, about six times, that I don't want them to feel pressured, and that I wouldn't be offended if they weren't willing to smoke outside of their own home.  That was their decision.  I spoke to DH later that evening, and he had spoken to his dad.  FIL had gotten the impression from his conversation with MIL that I was DEMANDING they not smoke in their own house.  I became furious.  Here she was the one who stated that they might be willing to smoke outside, but she wanted to make it look like I'm being forceful and mean about the whole thing.  I was nothing but nice and cordial to the crazy old bat!  At that moment, I realized how manipulative and twisted the woman really is.  I mean, how low do you have to go to do something like that?  I truly believe that she is just evil.  So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  After discussing the situation with DH, my mother, and my best friend, I decided to speak with FIL directly over the phone.  I called him and told him everything that was said during the aforementioned conversation.  He understood my stance on how I do not want my son around cancerous, nasty smoke, but also understood that I was not demanding, and that MIL had suggested smoking outside all on her own accord.  FIL admitted that MIL has a tendency to slant the truth.  More evidence to suggest that she twisted the truth.  Well, the next day, I found out that FIL spoke with MIL about her exaggerating the truth.  He told MIL that he had spoken to me.  To her surprise and dismay, she was BUSTED!!!!  It goes to show you how karma works.  What goes around is going to come back and bite you in the @ss later.  And, honey, don't screw with me.  I'm not playing your game.  I felt like justice had been served, at least somewhat.  And, I have resolved myself to being the bigger person.  I am never, ever going out of my way again to speak to her or be nice to her.  I will be tolerant of her.  But, she has truly screwed up any chance for us to have a normal relationship.  I feel like I must become numb around her in order to save myself future years of grief.  I have put up with her garbage for 10 years, and I am not about to put up with it for one moment more.  And, I'm grateful to be able to release my tension by talking to my best friend and by submitting these stories to this website.  I have plenty of other, smaller stories about my MIL.  Someday, I will share some of those.

        Signed - Karma Is A Killer
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frequent fry her - sheiscrazy, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sheiscrazy, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 2-OCT-08
While I was pregnant with my first DS, MIL asked my DH if I was going to breastfeed.  He told her that we were hoping that would work out for us, because it is best for the baby.  She then asked, "She's not going to do it in front of us, is she?"  What does she think I am, some kind of exhibitionist!  Besides, so what if I did breastfeed in front of them.  Pretentious much?  Besides, what is it with people who are so afraid of breastfeeding?  Don't they know that's what people did before formula!  It's natural and beautiful.  And, it's the best thing for the child.  Get over yourself.

        Signed - C Cups Strike Again
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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