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Frequent Fry HerTM
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frequent fry her - sickandtired, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sickandtired 1 of 4 /Posted: 27-NOV-06
One day I was driving home from work when my DH called me.  He said that he was over at his mom's house.  His stepfather had called him and needed help with DH's mom.  They were getting a divorce at the time.  He said that he had gone over to get some things, and she was all calm.  When he came over, she just started flipping out.  He said that it was like she was possessed by the devil himself.  Keep in mind, this is a man whom I often call "Saint_______", because I think so highly of him.  He is one of the most caring people I know (until a stunt he recently pulled to try to get his wife, DH's mom, access to our DD).  He doesn't accuse people of things they don't do, or try to cause a fuss.  If he said something like that, he really thought it.  Anyway, my DH rushed over there (he is a police officer in our town).  He got close to her and looked in her eyes.  He knew within 6 seconds what was going on - meth.  Just days before this, she had baby-sat for our DD.  When her DH came home from work (they were trying to live together then), she was sick on the couch, curled up in a ball, and our DD was in the recliner watching TV by herself.  He took her to the doctor, thinking that she was really sick.  The doc told him what he thought then (possibly meth), and wanted to test her.  She refused.  No one told us.  Then, she was supposed to watch our DD overnight the following day (the day after the incident where my DH suspected it), so we could go on an overnight trip for his birthday.  Now his mom was threatening suicide.  He took the bull by the horns and did his duty.  He called for mental health assistance, and had her admitted to the psych ward of the area hospital.  Of course, there were blood or urine tests were run.  Several other prescription substances showed up.  DH finally booted her, but SIL still lets her baby-sit her kids.  Sad.

        Signed - SIL MIL
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frequent fry her - sickandtired, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sickandtired 2 of 4 /Posted: 29-DEC-06
My DH was in Iraq in the months preceding our wedding.  One of my bridal showers was held in a banquet room off a local bowling alley.  They did that game where the bride leaves and everyone has to answer questions about what she is wearing, etc.  When I left the room, I was going to go grab a beer at the bar.  My MIL, in front of all 30 or so guests, spouted off, "Don't let her go to the bar, we'll never see her again."  Keep in mind, I was 22.  I was a graduate student at the time, completing college with honors (and having some fun doing it).  When my DH left for Iraq, I got a night job at a local liquor store and tended to go for a beer or 2 after work with people whom I worked with.  Seriously, we only got out of work with 1 or 2 hours of bar time left, even less before last call, which was 1/2 hour before that.  So there was less than 1.5 hours of drinking time.  We would go and split 2 or 3 pitchers (between 4 or 5 people) and call it quits.  This only happened 2 or 3 times each week.  I was in school during the day and working in the evenings.  I was so embarrassed that she said that in front of all those people (ILs who barely knew me)!!!

        Signed - Embarrassed
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frequent fry her - sickandtired, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sickandtired 3 of 4 /Posted: 3-JAN-07
My MIL is psychotic.  She and my FIL got divorced 25 years ago.  DH and I have been married for 3.5 years.  FIL was pretty much not involved in DH's life.  They really don't even know each other.  My DH, until lately, has been very bitter toward his father, and very hurt.  I even saw him (this is a hard-nosed, no-nonsense veteran of two wars and a police officer we're talking about here) cry when he talked about his father.  "Why doesn't my dad give a sh!t about me?  He didn't even call me when I got home from the war!"  It made me cry.  Whenever DH would be upset about things that happened in his combat experiences, MIL would say, "You have to overcome this and be the father that you never had.  Your father didn't care and didn't want a relationship with you.  I raised you by myself (she was actually only unmarried about 2 years), and I will hate your father until the day I die.  He abandoned you kids", etc.  I wanted to slap her then and say, "What does this have to do with Iraq or Kosovo, and why don't you stop kicking him while he's down?!?!?!?"  Anyway, in a recent blowup she said to him, "Your wife would love your dad more than she likes me."  I told her that she was a vindictive, manipulative b!tch, and how sick she must be to use 25 years of her son's personal anguish to drive a wedge between the two of us!!!!!!

        Signed - Trying To Drive A Wedge Between Us
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frequent fry her - sickandtired, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM. - sickandtired 4 of 4 /Posted: 4-JAN-07
My MIL's second DH has been enduring her for about 24 years.  Most of our holidays are spent with his family (her father lives far away and there is no contact there, and her mother and stepfather are deceased).  She has just one sibling and usually isn't speaking to him.  Anyway, we usually spend the holidays with SFIL's family.  They are great people, as is he, and I feel truly proud and honored to be a part of that family.  They're the kind who would give you the shirts off their backs in subzero weather, but still respect boundaries.  They don't believe that if they help you, then you owe them.  I love them.  Anyway, my MIL usually shows up three hours late, or not at all.  We all live in the same population 3,000 town, so everyone is pretty much within 2 miles of DH's step-GPs' home.  His mother will either be sick that day, or she'll say, "Well, I just haven't got around yet."  Usually, she doesn't show, but makes her DH leave the gathering to take her a plate of food (she doesn't cook, except for easy-mac, ramen noodles, or pudding - oh, and the pills that she pops).  Unfortunately, the pill thing isn't a joke.  She carries a gallon sized resealable bag full of prescription drugs in her purse, and always offers her goods to people when they don't feel well (i.e., vicodin for a headache, no kidding).  Sick.  One Christmas, we all met for breakfast like always, between 8 or 9.  GM would have a whole breakfast feast laid out.  She's great.  Anyway, the younger grandkids were all (actually very patiently) waiting to open presents, but "mamaw" wasn't there yet.  So, we called her.  She said, "Oh, I'm just getting in the bath.  It's going to be a while."  So, an hour went by (now, she was 3 hours late), so we called again.  She said, "Just tell the kids to wait a little while longer, I'll be there in a little bit"  It was about an hour later when she showed up.  SIL (her kids are the little ones) acted like it was no big deal, that's just her mom.  I felt bad for those kids.  This is a regular occurrence.  But, when her brother doesn't show up to something, she and SIL scream and disown him.  She will say, "How can you miss MY grandkid's _______?"  "How can you miss MY kid's _______?"  "How come you didn't do ________ for MY _________?"  It's all MY_____ MY______ MY_______ ,with no regards to how it made the grandkids or kids feel (which they usually don't make a big deal about it).  She's probably the most selfish person I've ever met.

        Signed - Feel Bad For The Kids
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The Sister Knot, Apter
The Sister Knot
Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife
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Women in the New Midlife

Working Women Don't Have Wives, Dr. Terri Apter Working Women Don't Have Wives
Professional Success in the 1990'S

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