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Frequent Fry HerTM
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So Not The Drama

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 17-MAY-06
MIL went to an internet dating service and paid $50 for a month of matches.  Well, she's gotten some matches and sent them all the next set of questions to answer.  Only 3 guys have replied so far.  She wants to drop one of the guys because of his NAME!!  His name is a very common first name in the US (my dad's name, btw), and she says that it sounds too stuffy and that a normal person would shorten it or alter it another way to make it sound more casual.  I told her, "Maybe he does, and he just put his full name down for the form."  Hello?!  I do the same thing myself.  I just can't believe that she's that shallow - reject a person because she doesn't like his name!  Would she like it if people judged by her name?  Also, she didn't give one guy a chance because he was balding and fat (not fat - just solid - barrel chested, etc).  The picture shows him in a t-shirt in a field.  She said he looked like a gangster!  Don't gangsters usually operate in the city?  What (?) - is he jumping cows for their milk money?!  If she's going to pay money for this, then why not communicate with everyone?  That's what the service says to do, too.  Also, she changes her answers based on the guy's answers.  I told her to just be herself, otherwise it's a waste of time and money for both of them.  She just doesn't get it.  It makes me mad.  She just got all snotty with me about it.  BTW, she says that everyone at work agrees with her.  One woman just divorced her husband and sold her house for a guy in TX.  Then the guy dumped her and went back to his ex-wife.  The other woman gets beaten by her husband, but takes it to keep the kids (who follow daddy's example and treat her like trash).  The other woman had an affair with a coworker for 10 years, and then his wife found out so he dumped her (the coworker, not the wife).  It sounds like they are all relationship experts, right?  Ugh!  I am the only happily married person she knows, but screw my advice!!  So why does she ask?? That's it, I quit!  No more advice!!

        Signed - Tired of Being Asked For Advice
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 4-SEP-05
MIL emailed me again.  We have been paying back some money that we borrowed from her, and she did not receive the last check.  She said that she has "had an address change" and would we please make sure to send all of her checks to her work address, since it was taking too long for the post office to forward her mail.  Nope - she didn't offer us her new address or anything, but she keeps claiming that she wants a better relationship with us!  Now, I am personally happy about all of this because if we don't know where she lives, then we can't be expected to call or write her, right?  LOL!  And, DH was actually starting to feel a little guilty about cutting mommy off, since GMIL died and she is "all alone".  I wonder what she is trying to prove by not giving us her new info?

        Signed - No Clue Where MIL Lives And Happy About It!
        ( respond to this story )        ( here is my story )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 25-DEC-04
Silly me!!  MIL invited the kids and me to dinner on Sunday night, seeing as we are leaving this week.  I told her that I had no other plans and that we would go.  Then, a few hours later, she informed us she has also invited her BF and his son.  She's trying to turn our "going away" dinner into a night out with her BF.  Thankfully, he and his son decided to stay home and drink instead.  Otherwise, I would have had to think of some last minute thing to get out of the dinner.  LOL.  We got to the restaurant, and I realized that she'd been drinking again - something I didn't think would happen, since she had to work the next day and she's usually pretty good about sobering up on Sundays.  Then, she ordered another drink at the restaurant, and the meal slid out of control.  She spent the whole meal bugging the kids about whether they would miss her (DD told her "no, you're never home anyway." LOL!) and then she told my DS (2 1/2) that she would be "gone soon" and that he better kiss her because she was leaving.  I tried to explain that she wasn't going anywhere, but that we were going to see daddy.  By the end of the dinner, the poor kid was thoroughly confused.  Then, MIL kept going on and on about how the baby wouldn't remember her.  I reminded her that we didn't live with her while DD and DS#1 were babies.  In fact, we lived 800 miles away.  But, somehow she managed to maintain a relationship through letters and phone calls.  She insisted that, since it's a different country, it won't be the same.  Then, she went on and on about how she knew that we didn't see eye to eye on how she lived her life, but she was just trying to make something for herself so that she'd have a life after I "take her grandkids away from her".  Well, she moaned and complained about us living there - but now I'm evil for taking the kids from her.  What about her SON who signed the contract sending himself overseas in the first place?!  I guess it's all my "fault" that he did that, too.  LOL.  So, by the time the check came, she was bawling loudly, and also reminiscing about moments from DD's babyhood - including a "charming' little story that she likes to tell about when DD pooped on the floor.  But, MIL was talking very loudly, and not using the word "poop", if you know what I mean.  Of course, all the waiters are looking at the loud drunk who was crying and telling me that she "can't handle this".  We finally were able to leave, and when I switched the baby from the stroller to the car seat, he woke up and started to cry.  MIL started yelling at him, "What do you want?  Why are you crying?" as if a 6 month old would answer.  I told everyone to shush, because all he wanted was to go back to sleep, and, sure enough, as soon as MIL shut her mouth, he was knocked out again.  On the way home, we had to pick up food for her BF and his son, and drop it off at their place.  MIL had DD help her carry all the bags to the door.  They were SUPPOSED to just hand it off at the door and come back to the car, but MIL just walked right in without knocking, and took DD in.  MIL knew full well that her BF usually just hangs around his house in his underwear (she always wants me to come in when I drop her off so that he will have to put on some clothes).  So, of course, her BF was in his drawers and his son is in a towel, and they were understandably upset that MIL just barged in, without calling or knocking, and dragged DD in with her.  So, my DD was subjected to the old fat BF in his underwear, and when they came back to the car, MIL was bawling again.  This time, it was because she was upset about us leaving, and also because BF told her off.  We went home, and MIL got her stuff and went back to BF's (thankfully).  She called a few minutes later, crying on the phone and asking to speak to DS.  He walked away as soon as he heard that it was her, because he was tired of her, "Do you still love me? Are you going to miss me when I'm gone?  I'm going to be all alone".  After he walked away, I sat and listened on the phone to her pathetic whining before I told her that he was gone, LOL.  So, knowing that we were leaving on Thursday (thank god!) you would think that she would try to spend time with us!  Nope!  She went out with her BF.  The next two days, she had night classes, so she couldn't spend any time with the kids.  But, she spent the only night that she had free, before we left, at her BF's house.  Oh, and she went on and on to me about how torn she was.  When she's with us, she misses her BF, and when she's with him, she misses us.  Yet, she chose him, time and time again.  So, I guess she doesn't REALLY miss us that much.  She tried to tell me, "I'm going to miss you," and I replied, "I know.  We'll miss you too."  She said, "No, I'm going to miss YOU," wanting me to say, "Oh yes, dear sweet MIL, I will miss you, too," referring to only myself.  Well, sorry, I couldn't stomach that lie, so I just walked away and pretended that I didn't understand.  I thought that maybe, just maybe, once she realized that we really were leaving, she would mend her ways.  Guess I was a fool again!

        Signed - When Will I Learn???

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 13-NOV-04
I am laughing so hard about this, but really, my MIL's attitude towards me isn't funny.  Yesterday, DH answered his cell phone and it came up unknown.  He assumed that it was my friend.  As it happened, we were both in the store shopping while our DH's waited outside.  So, when DH answered his phone, he jokingly said, "Tell my wife to get her butt outside."  Instead of my friend, it was MIL, and she said, "I wish your wife's butt was here, so I could kick it."  She then proceeded to rant about me, because she found a mouse in her apartment.  She took the day off from work to clean her house (shocking!) and to find out if more mice were there.  She put out peanut-butter traps, but the mice didn't eat them, because she said that grandma dropped some cookies and they rolled into the closet and the mice have been eating those.  So, she admits that grandma spills food everywhere for the mice to eat.  MIL NEVER vacuums, but that isn't why she has mice!!!  NO, apparently the mice are there because I left the front door open all the time and the mice must have gotten in that way!  I am LMAO because  1)  I always had the front door closed AND locked because I have a 2 year old DS who would love to run outside at any chance he could get.  Plus, I wanted a little warning when MIL came home with her drunk BF.  And 2)  Yes, the mice in this state ONLY come in through the front door!  I can see it now - they gather in the bushes waiting for someone to open the front door so that they can dash inside and set up house.  No, it couldn't be that mice come in through the air ducts, etc., it has to be that I left the door open.  LOL!  Oh, and apparently these are stealth mice, because I've been gone for 2 weeks and this is the first time that she's seen them.  They've been hiding since I left, and just slipped up and got spotted now.  LOL.  So, now my MIL is blaming it all on me.  But, maybe if she actually vacuumed and took out the trash once in a while, she wouldn't have this problem!  I was her maid for 10 months.  Now she's seeing what it's like when she doesn't have me to clean up her and grandma's mess!

        Signed - I Love The Mice!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 8-NOV-04
I thought that the drama would end when I got out of MIL's house, but noooo, she found a way to irritate me still!!  The kids and I moved to Europe a week ago to rejoin DH, who is stationed over here in the Army.  She has called twice in that time to talk to MY kids.  I was nice and coaxed them to talk to her, even though my 5 year old DD shook her head and backed away from the phone, and my 2 year old DS listened, figured out who it was, and said, "Bye, bye," right away.  That was the first phone call.  Tonight, she called again, and once again I had to coax the kids to actually talk to her, and not hand the phone off to me or their baby brother (he's only 7 months, so he can't escape, LOL).  I didn't talk to her this time, but DH did.  Imagine my surprise when he got off the phone and told me that she's hurt because she heard that I was saying bad things behind her back.  Apparently, her boss said that I had said bad things about her.  I admit, back in JULY I said a few things because MIL promised to come home in a few hours, and 36 HOURS later I was trying to figure out where the heck she was.  So, now MIL is "hurt" by comments that I made in JULY!!  Oh, and her ex BF said that I said some things.  Yes, the man who came over to say good-bye to my kids and spent the whole 15 minutes that he was at the apartment on the phone with MIL, telling her that she drinks too much, has gotten too skinny, and looks sickly.  But, MIL conveniently forgets that conversation when he tells her that I was badmouthing her.  Hello?  He told her that I said what HE actually said to her on the phone.  I don't know, maybe she was too hung over to remember their conversation.  Oh, and a good old uncle said that I said things about her.  I barely talk to this uncle.  When he dropped off GMIL, I spent the whole time telling them about our moving plans and taking a phone call about our itinerary, so I didn't have time to bad mouth MIL at all.  But, now MIL has gotten the satisfaction of getting to play the poor martyr.  "Oh, I love your wife so much, and I'd do anything for you guys, but this has been bugging me and I have to get it off my chest because I'm so hurt by her comments."  And, of course, DH falls for it and comes and tells me the conversation.  I told him, "Why would you tell me that?  How does that help me?"  But, of course, he can't see that it's her little game.  I have no idea if these 3 people even said these things to her, or whether she is making it all up, but if she had a problem with me, why not talk to me about these things that I supposedly said?  Why go through DH?  It is just because she wants his sympathy!!  Oh, and of course she STILL hasn't mailed the package that I asked her to.  And, the package that she sent to DH came back because the shipping label was damaged (?!) and resent.  It STILL hasn't gotten here.  And, when he asked her about it, she didn't tell him, "Oh, I shipped it on such and such date," she just said, "Don't worry about it, I'm taking care of it."  Well, does that mean that she mailed it or not?!  Meanwhile, that's hundreds of dollars of his uniforms and such!  I think that she knows that she has us at her mercy until we get those 2 packages, and she's going to drag this out as long as possible.  DH says that once we get the packages we can go ahead and ignore her phone calls/emails/letters, etc., and cut off all contact with her, but he doesn't want me to tell her why first.  He says that I should be above such pettiness.  I know that I should, but, first off, I want the satisfaction, and, second, I think that she may just be too dumb to realize what we are doing and why unless we spell it out to her.  But, I have decided that if we don't get the packages within the next 2 weeks, I will just chalk them up as a loss and cut her off anyway.  I'm tired of playing her games.

        Signed - Even On Another Continent She Can Still Get To Me!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 2-SEP-04
OK, here is a pet peeve of mine.  This happened about a month or 2 ago, at about 10:30pm.  We have a baby who has decided that his schedule includes an 11:30 bedtime.  Then, he sleeps straight through the night.  DH, our 4 year old DD, 2 year old DS and I were sitting on our blow up bed in the living room, rocking the baby - getting him ready for bed.  We had the TV on, turned very low, and we were all talking in whispers out of respect for MIL and GMIL, who had already gone to bed for the night.  Our 2 year old DS was being fussy about going to bed, and got out of bed and walked around a few times.  Each time we would grab him and make him lie down again.  Even though we were trying our best to be quiet and to put the children to sleep, MIL came screaming out of her room and went into a tirade about how 2 year old DS was keeping her awake with the sound of his footsteps.  She was ranting and raving, scared the heck out of both kids, and then went back to her room and slammed the door.  The next morning, she called from work to rant at DH again and tell him that she was having trouble staying awake at work, since we had kept her up past 10pm.  She made a whole big stink about how she needed her rest, etc.  Now, that was understandable, but I think that she could have handled it better, but OK  So, fast forward to the past couple of weeks.  MIL has a new BF.  She goes over to his house for the evening, and comes home at 1am (which wakes me up, since I sleep in the living room).  Apparently, DS's footsteps kept her awake, and that was horrible, but she can stay out and party all week long with her BF and she even says that she is falling asleep at work again - but that's all OK because she's having a good time.  I guess my complaint is that she got so upset, but now she is staying up late all the time on her own (and waking me up every night) and now there isn't a problem with staying up late.  Two months ago it was a huge deal if she wasn't asleep by 10pm, now she's awake until 2am and it's no problem.  Just another example of her double standards.

        Signed - Night Owl MIL

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 1-SEP-04
OK, here's our situation:  We live with MIL and GMIL.  GMIL pays the rent with her social security.  In return for living rent free, MIL takes care of GMIL at night, and I take care of her during the day (at least that's how it's supposed to work - most nights, MIL is out drinking, so I still watch GMIL).  Oh, I pay for all the groceries, and any phone calls that I make, and we split the gas bill.  Back when I was pregnant, DH joined a discount club for vitamins/supplements.  We got a bottle of men's vitamins, and a bottle of women's vitamins for joining.  As I was taking prenatal vitamins, I put my bottle aside, intending to take them after I had the baby.  Well, imagine my surprise when I went to take some vitamins, postpartum, and found only 3 left!!  MIL had opened them and started taking them without even asking!!!  So, flash forward a few weeks to me starting a low carb diet.  MIL has been on a low carb diet for about a year.  I went out and bought myself a bottle of special low carb vitamins - very expensive.  I even thought to myself, "I better hide these so that MIL doesn't take them all."  So, I put them up behind the cereal.  In fact, I hid them so well that I forgot about them, LOL.  When I was moving cereal boxes today, I found them.  I was really happy, until I found that out of the 70 pills that were in the bottle, only 30 were left.  Yes, MIL has been taking them and then re-hiding the bottle.  She also eats all my expensive, low carb foods, and buys herself low carb treats to keep at the office.  Whereas, she scarfs the stuff that I buy before I get a chance.  I bought a 4 pack of yogurt Tuesday night, and woke up Wednesday morning to find that it had already been opened!  And yet, if I say anything about it, she will respond by saying that, since we're living here rent free, buying groceries is the least that we can do.  Well, she's living rent free, too!  And, I take care of GMIL 80% of the time, so why don't I get free groceries?!  Or, she should at least stop eating my vitamins!!

        Signed - Fed Up From Feeding MIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 30-AUG-04
It's funny, but what really turned me against MIL once and for all was not a big deal compared to some of the other stunts that she has pulled.  You see, I gave birth during the flu scare this year, so children were not allowed on the maternity floor at all.  Seeing as we don't have a baby-sitter, DH asked MIL if she could please watch the kids while he came to the hospital to bring the baby and me home.  Well, she was very put out by having to take a day off - she loves to save up her vacation time.  Instead, she arranged to just take a longer lunch so that she wouldn't have to use her vacation or sick days.  So, we rushed home from the hospital.  She was calling the cell phone every 5 minutes, as if we were going to go somewhere with a newborn baby while our 2 kids were waiting for us at home.  We got there, and she took off to go back to work (after making sure that we were sufficiently aware of how put out she was).  Now, DH, the kids, and I all slept in the living room on a blow up mattress.  Prior to the baby being born, MIL volunteered to let us use her bed for a couple of nights, and she would sleep in the living room.  We did not ask this of her.  She came up with it, volunteered, pressured us, and kept reminding us.  On the afternoon that we came home from the hospital, I took a nap in her room with the baby.  It is hard to nap in the living room with 2 kids in there, LOL.  MIL came home, and I was still napping.  DH was making dinner, and MIL started in on him, "DS, I need my clothes for tomorrow out of my room.  Make sure you get my makeup bag out of the room.  How is this going to work?  Can you get me all my stuff.  Should I write it down?"  Now, this was 5 PM  Did she think that I was going to sleep until the next day?!  Plus, who said that she couldn't come into the bedroom to get her stuff?  She kept making a stink about it.  DH finally got fed up and told her that she could have her room back, and that the baby and I would just sleep in the living room.  He woke me up and told me what she was doing.  I came out to the living room with the baby, at which point she was apologetic, but she didn't offer to still let me use her room, LOL.  Apparently, the original offer was just made to make herself feel good, but I wasn't really supposed to take her up on it!  It just ticked me off that she couldn't even let me have a nap the day I came home from the hospital!  Oh well!

        Signed - Sleeping On The Floor Again

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 28-AUG-04
I was looking over my stories and realized that I hadn't posted about the 2 things that really started me on the war path with MIL.  The first was New Year's Eve.  At this point, we had been living with MIL for 2 months.  I had not wanted to move in with her, but she pressured and pressured us until we gave in.  Up until this point, I thought that things were OK  I knew that she complained behind my back to DH that I was lazy, spent too much time on the computer, didn't watch the kids well enough, etc.  But, I just tried harder to please her.  On New Year's Eve, we decided to just spend a quiet evening at home, as I was 8 months pregnant, and DH doesn't really drink anyway.  So, we were all sitting at home.  MIL and DH had had a few drinks, and then she asked DH to walk with her to drop off the rent check to the apartment manager.  Silly me, I took that at face value, and didn't clue into the fact that something was going on - even when it took them over an hour to come back.  When they came back, DH seemed a little ticked off.  But, since I hadn't done anything, I didn't think anything of it.  Then, my two year old DS broke a Christmas ornament under the dining room table.  MIL and DH cleaned it up.  I did not help because a)  I was as big as a house, it was hard to get down there and, b)  How many adults does it take to clean up an ornament??  DH started telling me that I was lazy, and that I should have been watching DS more carefully.  I just ignored him and told him, "Whatever," because I didn't deserve any of his comments.  He continued to get irate.  MIL was playing the martyr, "It's OK, I'll clean it up, don't worry about it," in that sickly "put upon poor me" voice that she has.  Finally, DH got so angry that we had a physical confrontation.  My kids were scared and crying, and MIL was just standing there watching her handiwork.  I grabbed my 2 kids and went to sit on the curb while I figured out what I was going to do.  MIL came out to convince me not to go to the police (honestly, it hadn't even crossed my mind, but the b!tch had to make sure that her baby didn't get punished for what he did).  So, I was sitting in the cold, crying, with the kids and DH came out and asked me to go for a walk with him.  He said that he was sorry, and that he wanted to talk it out with me.  I put the kids inside and went with him, grudgingly.  I asked him why he got so angry with me out of the blue like that.  I told him, "Everything was fine before you went on your walk with MIL.  Then, you came back and started a huge fight with me.  Where did that come from?"  He told me that while they were "dropping the rent check off", his mother spent an hour telling him how "no good" I was.  She said that I was going to keep getting pregnant, and never work again.  For the record, I have worked full time during 3 years of our 5 year marriage.  She said that he should divorce me and get custody of the kids, and she would live with them and help him raise my kids.  So, he spent the whole hour countering her, telling her that he loves me, and that I'm not lazy, etc.  Then, when they came home and found the broken ornament, and I didn't help clean it up, she used it to goad him.  In the kitchen she was whispering to him, "See what I mean?  Look how lazy she is.  She's not even helping clean up.  She should be watching the kids better so that they don't get into stuff like this.  She's making you do all the work, and that's not fair.  She's dragging you down," etc., etc.  So, that's what set off his temper, her whispering and me being mouthy because I didn't realize what was going on.  Not to excuse his behavior one bit, but had I known that MIL was egging him on, it wouldn't have gotten as far as it did.  BTW, she thinks that he could get custody of the kids because she lost her DD in her divorce.  So, she thinks that in our state it's easier for a dad to get custody.  No, she was unfaithful and dating a violent drug addict, and so she was refused supervised visitation.  Of course, she lost her DD!!!

        Signed - She's Not Getting My Kids, Either!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 23-AUG-04
OK, here are just some of the stupid things that MIL has said this weekend!  She has lost a lot of weight lately - but she is all flabby now - certainly nothing like Daisy Duke (she thinks that she looks like that actress) LOL.  She is so inconsistent that it's funny - one minute she thinks she looks like Daisy Duke, the next minute she's sighing about how she's going to pay for the plastic surgery that she needs (she has about 5 lbs of loose skin that she wants removed).  She told me that they "closed down the bar" last night which, since her BF is a CO-owner, means that after hours they just stay and drink until morning.  She told me that while the cleaning guy was cleaning up the bar, she helped him out, and he was so happy for the help.  So, she told me, "Yeah, I don't clean at home, but I clean the bar."  Well now, isn't it nice that she has her own personal maid at home (me) who does her dishes and laundry, and takes care of grandma (in addition to watching after my own 3 children).  And, yet,she's comfortable enough with the situation that she can rub it in my face.  I truly don't know whether or not she thinks I'm an idiot, and will forgive and forget, or whether she knows that the instant I move out I'm cutting all ties with her.  After what she's done, she'll never see my kids again.  She says all the time how much she loves them.  Actually, it's nauseating - every time she leaves she asks them, "Do you still love me?  You love me, right?  You still love me?" at least 4 or 5 times, and she says that she will miss them so much when we are gone.  Yet, this week, she has seen them for a total of 1 hour, and we live in her apartment!!  So, she can't care too much for them.  Oh, and she tells me that she loves her BF of one month so much that she doesn't even mind that he's gross sometimes.  How gross?  Well, he went to eat some take out food and he was going to use a fork from the previous night's dinner that hadn't been washed yet.  He saw nothing wrong with using it unwashed.  He invited her over for tacos.  For some reason he doesn't have a table, so everything was spread out on his bed (for him, MIL, and his son to eat - so it's not like this was a romantic dinner, LOL).  Since he wasn't sure which sauce she would like, he had 10 bottles of salsa and hot sauce laid out (getting warm).   LOL.  And she thought that it was just the cutest, most romantic thing ever.

        Signed - Just Can't Understand MIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 19-AUG-04
So, I guess I am a naive fool.  MIL went out of town at the end of the week.  She made a big deal about how her plans had changed, and that she wouldn't be gone overnight.  Well, of course, she didn't come home until the next afternoon.  And, then it was only to pick up some clothes and head out the door again.  She didn't bother to tell me when she would be back, so imagine my surprise when she showed up just 5 hours later.  Actually, she hadn't intended to come home that soon.  You see, she passed out at her BF's house, and when she woke up and saw that it was sunset, she thought that it was sunrise!!  She thought that she had slept through the night.  She figured that I would be mad, since she never called, etc.  As a peace offering, she stopped and got some fast food.  Yes, she got in her car, went through a drive-thru window, and got all the way home without ever realizing that it was SUNSET, not SUNRISE!!  She didn't clue in until she came into the house and I was telling the kids they had to take a bath before bedtime!  So, instead of clueing in that maybe she should give the alcohol a rest, she decided to get dressed up and go out again.  As she was getting ready, I ran out to my car to get my diaper bag.  When I came back in, she was gone, along with my 2 1/2 year old son.  At first I thought, "Oh, maybe they're throwing out the trash," or that she had just run to her car or something.  But, as the minutes went by, I started to become concerned.  Finally, after 1/2 hour she returned WITHOUT my son!!  I asked her where he had been, and she said that she had left him at the neighbor's house.  I do not know these people.  From what MIL tells me, they are swingers and alcoholics, and I have seen where the man damaged his own door while in a drunken rage about his wife.  And she left my son there!  I told her that she needed to go get him, NOW!  So, out she went.  She brought him back with an armload of dirty toys, and a bag of candy.  Now it was almost bed time.  I didn't want him eating candy that late at night.  As for the toys - gross.  So, while I was dealing with him, MIL sneaked my 5yr old DD out of the house and over to the neighbor's.  MIL loves showing off how cute my kids are.  Then, MIL came back, and brought the neighbor lady with her so that I couldn't talk to her about her taking the kids over there without my permission.  She said that she and the neighbor lady were going to a bar.  No problem - I was already tired of her antics.  She showed back up at 12 midnight, woke both kids up when she came in, grabbed an armload of clothes and said that she was going to go over to BF's house.  DS started fussing because he had just woken up.  MIL kept asking him, "Do you still love me?  You still love me, don't you?"  Every time she went to the door, he would cry louder because, of course, he wanted to get out of bed.  So, she kept coming back to our bed, "Oh, I can't bear to leave him crying.  You still love me, right?"  After I told her several times to just LEAVE, because he'd stop crying as soon as she was gone, she finally left.  She came home the next afternoon, all hung over again.  She got herself made up again, and headed out with her famous last words, "I'll only be gone a couple of hours.  I'm going to play trivia."  Yeah.  Well, her "couple of hours" means "spending the whole day and night at the bar".  Her BF owns the bar, so they just stay there all night long.  She, eventually, came home at 8 am.  She was sick, hung over, and weepy (mixing anxiety medicine and alcohol is not a good idea), talking about how she knew that she had been irresponsible all weekend, and thanking me for taking care of grandma.  She said that she was trying to make everyone happy (hmm, very easy to make me happy - stop lying about when you're coming home, and clean up after yourself once in a while!).  So, I sat and tried to talk to her, giving her some advice on her BF, etc.  Then, I had to go run errands with the kids.  Here comes my naiveté!  I figured that since she was feeling bad about sticking me with grandma for the 4 days and for not spending time with me and the kids, etc., maybe, just maybe, she would try to snap back into her normal mode.  Nope!  I came home.  She hadn't tried to help with the dishes - she had just created new ones.  She hadn't taken out the trash, etc.  She didn't lift a single finger.  I was gone for 7 hours.  What had she done?  Showered and gone over to her BF's for a while, and then come back and watched TV.  At least she had made grandma dinner.  So, that little chat that we had went in one ear and out the other.  So much for being more responsible!  Oh, but she told me "thank you" several times.  Whatever, I don't want thanks, I want some help.  I have 3 kids and grandma.  Would it kill her to take out the trash?!  Oh, and I have laundry to do today - hers and grandma's, as well as my own.  That's OK, though.  She keeps making the big plans about how she and her alcoholic BF are going to fly to Europe to visit us.  Pretty hard to visit when . . .

        Signed - She Won't Know Our New Address!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 12-AUG-04
We borrowed money from MIL (big mistake, I know) for a car.  The money came from her 401k, and payments are taken out of her check.  When we first started the loan, MIL was getting paid on the 1st and 15th of each month, and the payments were $91 each check.  We have never missed a payment.  Then, MIL switched to getting paid every other Friday.  We adjusted our payment times to correlate to her paychecks (if we gave her the money too early, she blew it, so she wanted us to give it to her exactly on payday - no problem).  So, we continued to pay $91 every other Friday.  This meant that in the month of July we had to give her 3 payments - no problem, we owe her the money.  But, the other day she asked me to go into her drawer for something, and there was her pay stub.  Since she was switched from being paid twice a month to every other Friday, her payments for the loan have gone down to $77 each paycheck.  So, for months now we have been giving her $91, when the actual payment was only $77.  Now, you're saying that $13 isn't a big deal, right?  But, the interest is still being accrued on the loan.  By the time we are done paying the loan with our $91 payments, she will still have to pay, since she was only making $77 payments.  See what I mean?  With the $13 difference in payments and the interest, she will still have money coming out of her check after we have finished repaying the loan.  So, when the time comes, when we have repaid her the loan plus interest and she still has to make payments because of her little $13 scam on us, do you think she's going to calmly acknowledge that we paid our debt, or is she going to insist that we keep paying?  I'm betting on that we'll have to keep paying.  Oh, and it's not like we begged her for the money, she offered it and set it all up herself.  Of course we took her up on it, but we never twisted her arm.  Oh, and with each paycheck I have to hear about the loan, "Oh, my check used to be over $1000, and now it's only $900.  Boo hoo!"  Well, we're giving her our payment on the same day that she gets paid, so what's the difference?  She's actually getting $13 more than she would have!!!  But, MIL has to be a martyr.  I'm going to try to find a program that will tell me when the loan will be paid off, with interest, from our $91 payments, and give her a print out so that she knows when we will stop paying.

        Signed - Not Paying Any More Than I Have To!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 8-AUG-04
MIL was supposed to go away for a vacation from Saturday to Tuesday.  She called up her brother and asked him to come take grandma.  She told him that it was a business trip.  He came and got grandma Saturday morning, and then MIL decided not to go away.  Instead, she spent the weekend drinking and partying.  She never bothered to tell her brother that she didn't go away, and on Tuesday when he called and asked if she wanted him to keep grandma for a few more days, she jumped at the offer because she was "so tired from her business trip".  Her brother brought grandma home on Monday.  Tuesday night, MIL came to me and said, "I've got a problem.  Well, actually I have 2 problems."  Yep, her employer is actually sending her away for real this weekend!  She will be gone Friday and Saturday, and will come home late Sunday afternoon.  But, brother just had grandma for over a week, so she didn't feel that she could call him again.  And, she wouldn't call her other brother to come take his turn at taking care of grandma, because he is her favorite brother, and she didn't want to put him out by making him take care of his own mother.  So, she expected me to care for grandma all weekend.  Or, as she tried to sugarcoat it, "Just take her to the bathroom a couple of times and make her a sandwich."  Grandma is bedridden with Parkinson's and Arthritis.  She requires bathroom breaks every 3 hours or she wets her diaper.  I will have to get her breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Grandma experiences moments of dementia, which are very unsettling.  She is also prone to falling.  Once she is on the ground, it takes a monumental effort to get her back in bed.  IMO, she should already be in a home.  You are saying that I am ungrateful.  What's the big deal about taking care of grandma for 1 weekend?  Well, I have a 5 year old with a bladder infection and a cold, a 2 1/2 year old with a stomach virus and cold, and a 5 month old who is getting 3 teeth at once, and has a cold and a stomach virus.  And, of course, I am also coming down with a cold/stomach virus.  So, I have enough just trying to keep up with my 3 kids without having to take on grandma.  But, when I suggested that MIL try to ask her other brother, she refused and just left it on my lap to deal with.  Oh, and her "other problem" is that she wants to go out of town next Thursday and leave me with grandma again while she goes to visit her newest BF's family.  And, when she got the vibe that I wasn't happy about this whole situation, she offered to "baby-sit" for me if I want to go see a movie.  Hhmmm, that's a fair trade - she watches my kids for 2 hours so that I'll watch her mother for a whole weekend!  I think that I'll finally have to put my foot down on this one!

        Signed - Fed Up With Her!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 15-JUL-04
MIL decided to go out for "a little while" the other night to see her BF.  She was going away for the whole weekend (leaving her mother with me), so she wanted to say good-bye.  Understandable.  But, she told me that she'd only be gone an hour or two.  My three kids were sick, which she knew, and MIL tried to get some pity out of me by saying that she must have caught the stomach virus from them, because she felt queasy and shaky.  But, it didn't prevent her from going out.  I waited and waited.  Eventually, I had to take grandma to the bathroom myself, since MIL still wasn't home.  And, I put grandma to bed, etc.  The kids and I went to bed, and MIL still wasn't home.  Around 2 am, I woke up to the sound of voices.  MIL was in the kitchen with my 5 year old DD.  Apparently, when MIL came in, she woke DD up (very light sleeper).  So, instead of telling the sick 5 year old to go back to sleep, MIL let her out of bed, and she came into the kitchen.  MIL was making sandwiches for me to give grandma for dinner - like that would make it all right for me to have to watch grandma all weekend (as long as I didn't have to make sandwiches).  Then, MIL got on the phone to her drunken BF and put my DD on the phone with him!  Then, I heard MIL ask DD, "Can you help me pack my suitcase?"  At 2am!!!!  So, I got up and calmly collected my DD.  I made her go back to bed (of course, I'm the "mean" mommy for spoiling her fun).  MIL didn't apologize or anything - it just went right over her drunken head that small children shouldn't be out of bed and talking on the phone to drunks at 2 in the morning!

        Signed - Fed Up At 2am!!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama
Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 14-JUL-04
Yesterday, MIL called home from work (we are living with her temporarily, until we can join my DH at his next military assignment).  She called at 3pm and told me that she was stopping off at a neighborhood bar for a minute before coming home to drop some things off for some friends, but she will not stay long.  I ended up giving my kids an early dinner and taking them out for the night.  So, imagine my surprise when I came home at 10:30pm to find out that MIL NEVER came home, and therefore grandma had not had dinner, and that she had not been to the bathroom since I left (grandma has Parkinson's and arthritis, and is bedridden - she must be helped to the bathroom).  So, while my infant was screaming for his late night feeding, I was stripping grandma's bed and trying to clean up the mess.  Then, I had to make supper for her at 11pm.  I left a message for MIL on her cell phone, asking her where she was, and why she hadn't come home, or at least TOLD me that she wasn't coming home, so that I could have stayed home to deal with grandma.  She called back at 12am to tell that me she was sorry, and that she hadn't meant to stay out so late.  She would be home in 20 minutes.  I went to bed 40 minutes later, tired of waiting for her.  She eventually came home at 1:30am with fast food for me - like I was just going to sit up and wait for her for an hour and a half!  This morning, she was once again apologetic for staying out so late, but I can tell that she doesn't really mean it.  And, did she apologize to grandma for not coming home?  Nope!  She really doesn't think that she did anything wrong.  She thinks that I'm just mad because I had to change the bed.  She doesn't get it that she was inconsiderate to grandma, she lied to me, and she was irresponsible!

        Signed - She's Just Clueless!!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 25-JUN-04
Before DS was born, MIL took us to a secondhand store to buy some clothes for him.  Instead, she got DD a dance leotard that was 2 sizes too big (it falls off her shoulders) and a leopard print pantsuit.  She got my other DS a plastic fire hat.  They have enough stuff and clothes!  We were there to get stuff for the baby (DH and I picked out some sleepers and outfits).  Well, the total was more than she had wanted to spend (more than half of it was the cr@p that she had gotten for DD and DS), so she made DH and I pay for half.  If she had said that in the beginning, I would have gone to a discount department store and gotten better prices for new stuff (OK, not name brand, but I could not care less about name brands - a sleeper is a sleeper, IMO).  She always does stuff like this!  She has said, "Let's go out to eat, my treat," and then when the check comes, she asked DH to pay half.  If she had said that straight up front, we would not have gone, and she KNOWS it!  She knows that we don't have that kind of money to blow, not when she doesn't pay for ANY groceries for herself and GM (but she buys her boyfriend groceries).  She's so cheap that she won't even buy toilet paper, but she has enough money to go and buy fast food for herself.  She took DH and his friend out last weekend.  She told DH that she would buy all his drinks if she could go with them, because she didn't want to go all by herself.  Well, they got to a sleazy bar, and she hooked up with a man within 30 minutes.  Soon, she told DH to take $40 and her car, and take a hike.  He paid for the drinks that she had ordered for him, drove his friend home, used part of the money to put gas in her car, and came home.  Now she wants her $40 back!

        Signed - So Sick of Her Cheapness

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 8-JUN-04
This weekend, MIL was feeling bad because she hasn't spent any time with us and we're leaving soon (read - all her "boy friends" were busy).  She said, "Let's all go to the beach, and then I'll buy us all lunch!"  Sounds nice, but this was right when we were waking up in the morning.  When MIL said, "Let's go," she meant that she wanted to leave within 15 minutes.  We have 3 kids to get ready, breakfast, etc., not to mention getting ready ourselves.  So, we rushed around, and she just stood there waiting, not trying to help in any way, unless you count grabbing the baby the second that I put him down, playing with him until he cried, and then handing him off to me again being helpful!  We finally got ready and we got there.  We forgot the stroller in all the rushing around - MIL didn't even pack a towel, so she had to use mine.  MIL proceeded to lay out in the sun, in her bikini, because she wanted a tan, and wanted everyone on the beach looking at the 47 year old grandma who was "so hot".  She isn't hot, but she lost a lot of weight, so now she thinks that she is.  By the way, did I mention that she was already tanked?  She was drinking before we went to the beach.  Yes, that early in the morning - it's the weekend, remember, she's always drunk on the weekend.  She didn't build sand castles with the children or look for shells, etc.  She just laid down and went to sleep.  The sun went away after about an hour, the baby was getting cold and restless, and the kids were hungry, because they didn't get a good breakfast.  So, we told MIL that we'd had enough beach, and started packing up, thinking that we're going for lunch.  Nope, now MIL had to go to her boss/best friend's because she was depressed and wanted to go shopping.  She said that she would buy us lunch or dinner the next day.  She insisted that we all walk to her car to help her carry her stuff, and then she said that she would drive us over to our car.  It was only a block away, but I didn't want the kids riding without car seats.  We told her that we would walk.  She insisted that we leave all of our stuff in her trunk.  We started to just take the diaper bag, and she again insisted that we leave it in the trunk.  Stupidly, I agreed.  Well, of course, we got to the car and DH had put the keys in the diaper bag, along with his wallet, etc.  Luckily, he had a soggy dollar bill in his pocket.  He got change and called MIL's cell phone to ask her to come back and give us our diaper bag.  She got all huffy, "I just had a hard drive home.  I can't believe I have to drive out there again."  The beach is a ten minute drive on surface streets!  So, she came back, we got our keys.  And, by the time we got back home, she was already walking out the door.  She came home 4 hours later with $110 worth of clothes/jewelry from a chain store that is best suited for teen girls, not 47 year olds.  The top was see-through lace.  I truly thought that it was lingerie, and a miniskirt so short that she better not bend over!  She got all dressed up in her new clothes, and went out drinking again.  The next day (remember we're supposed to do lunch or dinner together), she went out drinking again, and didn't bother coming home for lunch or dinner.  Then, she finally showed up at 7pm with fast food - but only for herself and grandma.  Now, granted, she's an annoying alcoholic, but DH was leaving in 2 weeks, and she likely wouldn't see him again for 3 years (we're moving to Europe with the military).  All during the week, she cried about how we're taking her grandkids away, and how she couldn't believe that we're moving that far.  She said that she was going to miss us so much, yet on the weekends we couldn't get her to spend any time with us.  DD actually called her on it on Sunday, "You're going out again?  Why don't you stay at home with me?"  Her grandma said, "I spend time with you every night during the week, don't make me feel guilty for going out on my day off."  Well, actually, she went out Thursday and Friday night, Saturday afternoon and night, and all day Sunday.  But, god forbid a 4 year old wanted to spend time with her grandma!  And, I guarantee you that this woman will cry a river when we leave, and will call us like crazy, crying on the phone.  But, guess what?

        Signed - I'm Not Answering The Phone

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 19-JUN-04
As I've mentioned before, we are living with MIL until we move to Germany with the military.  DH, the 3 kids and I, all sleep in the living room on the pull out couch (actually, baby sleeps in a pack n play).  So, imagine my surprise when, on Saturday night, MIL went to a swinger's party in our apartment complex and came home with a guy!  She went into the kitchen with him and got some more booze and blasted the light.  Then, she came over to the bed and started trying to tickle and rile up DD (age 4), who had woken up because of the light and noise.  MIL told me to go sleep in her bed because it was more comfy, and she wasn't going to sleep in it that night.  Thank God I didn't.  I found out the next morning that, after we had all fallen back asleep, MIL came back to the apartment with this STRANGER!  Thank goodness he didn't turn out to be violent or a pervert, and thank goodness none of the kids woke up and wandered into her room!  The next day, we had to listen to her ask us, "Are you sure you didn't hear anything?", and all about how well endowed he was, etc., etc.  I can't believe that she's that trashy that, not only does she have a one night stand with a swinger, she brings him into the apartment where her young grandchildren are sleeping!

        Signed - Disgusted!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 20-JUN-04
On Mother's Day, I had purchased a few items for MIL from my kids.  She had not bothered coming home on Friday night, and had stopped by briefly on Saturday for a change of clothes.  She told us that she wasn't sure what she was doing on Mother's Day, but she said that we should call her, and maybe she could go to lunch with us.  Well, we called her, but she couldn't even be bothered with lunch.  She wasn't going to come home until very late that night, or maybe even the next day.  So, DH went out with his friends, and I didn't bother to wrap her presents, etc.  She eventually came home at 11:30 that night, and saw one of her presents (a fish in a vase with pretty rocks and live plants), but I didn't bother with getting out the other ones.  Tonight, a week after Mother's Day, she had the nerve to complain that I haven't given her a picture of my baby that we'd had done.  That was to be one of her presents, I told her, but since she hadn't bothered coming home, I hadn't bothered to give it to her.  So, she said, "I'm only the grandma," like its her RIGHT to have a picture that I paid for  And, to top it all off, I found out that she spent Mother's Day in the pool at her BF's apartment, swimming and playing with some of the kids who lived there!  She couldn't be bothered to come home to see her own grandkids, but she could swim with other kids - and I should GIVE HER A PICTURE?!  She's getting a wallet size, and that's it!!

        Signed - So Tired of Her Ignoring the Kids

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 22-JUN-04
How's this for classy?  I was IMing MIL, and told her that I was trying to get the baby to sleep so that I could make an important phone call (without him crying in the background).  Since I breastfeed, her response was, "Just put your big tit in his mouth."  And, yet she puts down other people as "trailer trash".  She has a mouth that is so dirty, its disgusting.  She has said inappropriate things to my 4 year old daughter!  She swears openly in front of the children, yet when we ask her politely to watch her language, her response is either, "That's just the way I am.  I can't change who I am, " (she doesn't swear in front of her boss's kid), or she says, "DH swears in front of the kids."  Yes, he does, but he TRIES not to, and I always call him on it, too.  Just because I do something, that doesn't mean it's OK  If I slip up and swear, it's suddenly all right for her to use every cuss word in the book in front of the kids?

        Signed - Trash Mouth MIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - sonotthedrama Frequent Fry Her TM - sonotthedrama /Posted: 22-JUN-04
MIL used to be a very nice woman - that was before she lost 100 lbs. On a popular diet program.  Now that she isn't fat, she thinks that she is so good looking that she doesn't have to be nice anymore.  Before, she had a nice personality to make up for her obesity.  Now, she thinks that her looks will get her everything.  She constantly puts down other people for their looks.  She was obese for YEARS, but now she gets to sit and judge other people!  She even tells DH that he is lazy and fat (not true!).  She puts down a very nice lady at her work because she is "fat" (MIL is the same size!) and has no friends - neither does MIL!  All she has are guys whom she picks up at bars!  She spends all her money on clothes, booze, and her "boyfriends".  She even took toilet paper that WE bought and brought it to her BF's house!  Now we're out of toilet paper, and guess who had to go buy more?!  She doesn't contribute to groceries, either, but had money to buy her BF groceries, including fancy cat food!  I truly believe that losing weight has been a bad thing for her, as she was so much nicer before!

        Signed - I Wish She Would Gain Weight!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )


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