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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
Fry HerTM
Southern Belle
Age: 24 MILAge: 56
You're Never Going To Believe This, But . . .
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- southernbelle, 1 of 4 needed/Posted:21-MAR-09
Our wedding went off beautifully, save for MIL's
friends getting trashed along with SIL (who also flirted with a friend's
husband - she's married). We really thought that everything
was going to be so much better, and that the hard part was over.
Not even close. Immediately after the wedding, all he!! broke
loose again. She was still pissed that ALL of her friends weren't
invited. She felt that I was keeping DH from his family and
that I controlled his every move. She hated where we lived (closer
to my family than to them) and refused to say anything positive about
our home. She criticized us and told us all of the things that
needed to be fixed or changed (on the day after our move). Right
before the wedding (days) and continuing thereafter, we heard from
several sources that she had been calling me every name in the book.
When we were together, however, this super fake super sweet side was
all that was shown. The falseness killed me. In response
to her behavior, I chose to be polite, but not overly friendly.
We don't have to like each other, but we can have mutual respect.
Boy, was I wrong. The result has been a 180 on her part.
She now no longer makes eye contact. She will not speak until
spoken to. She must be addressed like a queen. When we
had a large gathering at our home, she entered and walked straight
past me, refusing to acknowledge me until I first spoke to her.
In our home!!! The same goes for her gatherings, unless there
are friends of hers present. Then, we're back to the uber fakeness,
so that she can maintain the facade that she has the loving family
that exists only in her head. The minute the crowd clears, the
hating resumes. Now, years into our marriage, the same is true.
There is constant manipulation and hating. For DH's birthday,
he requested that our families all meet to celebrate. We both
figured this would result in more of the uber fakeness. Surely
she wouldn't show her true colors in front of my family. Upon
our arrival at their home, she would not acknowledge the presence
of anyone but DH, more of this "I must first be addressed"
BS. It was obvious that all of her tension was directed at my
mother and me. She holds a serious grudge against my mother.
We believe that this stems from jealously of our relationship (we
are extremely close), and that we had such fun planning my wedding,
together with DH. Since she stated that she absolutely would
pay for nothing, she was excluded from our planning, and DH did not
want to keep her informed for his own reasons. He has made it
obvious that he prefers to be around my family, as they have always
treated him as one of their own, with great love and respect - better
than his family has. Once we gathered to celebrate for DH, the
tension continued. At the restaurant, she refused (obviously
so) to even pass my mother a menu. She sat quietly and glared
at us, refusing to participate in conversations that we attempted,
giving us cold, short responses to make it obvious that she was not
interested in being civil. When the check came, my father suggested
that we just split the bill, and offered up our half. She stated
that she would rather pay by card and took the money. She then
gave the waiting a tip of $1 per person at the table, on a bill of
over $100. She pocketed the remaining money that my parents
gave. He was a great waiter, too.
Signed - Fed Up
( responses to this story )
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Fry Her TM
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- southernbelle, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
1-APR-09
When DF and I first got engaged, we hopped right
on the planning train. Within the first month, many things were
planned and set for the wedding. We asked our parents to compile
lists of those whom they would like us to consider inviting, and we
sat down together to create a list of our closest friends. We
discussed that it was important that we have the people there who
had meant the most to us, and who had been most deeply involved with
our lives. Looking at a number of between 100 and 150 (trying
to stay on the lower end for budget reasons, 150 was our max for the
venue), we then got to looking at the parents' lists. Sitting
down with my mother, we discussed several people who, while they knew
me and were close to my mom, had never met DF and had not stayed in
touch with me. These people were placed on a list to receive
an announcement. She was very understanding, and gave us absolutely
no trouble, saying that it was our day and we should have the people
WE wanted there. MIL was an entirely different animal (if you'll
excuse the expression). She sent us a list of 67 of her closest
friends. In going over the list with DF, there were few whom
I had met, and several who even he could not identify. Then,
we came to a certain group of people who all hang out on a regular
basis and are big drinkers. They get quite obnoxious and, at
times, obscene. Of those included, DF only hesitated on one
couple. The others, he said, have had nothing to do with him
and he did not, under any circumstances, want them in attendance.
For fear of truly offending these individuals (after all, they are
friends of his parents), he chose to exclude all five couples, making
room for only the aforementioned one, if we found space later on.
This caused quite a few problems with his mother, who feels that EVERYONE
should have been invited from her list. She has chosen to blame
this on me, and has spoken openly to many others in our small community,
saying that I am controlling and just don't want HER friends to come.
This has led to the spreading of many lies about me, including that
I have ruined the relationship that she once had with her son, and
have come between him and his sister. (For more on the sister,
see my last posting!). The truth of the matter is that his family
has been very abusive, and he moved out the day that he was able to,
at 18. He has never been close to his mother or his sister,
as both have done little other than to use and manipulate him his
entire life. I feel that family is important (you cannot choose
them), and have encouraged him to spend time with them, having dinner
and such. At my request, he has done so, though apparently it
was all for naught, and a poor idea on my part. Now, we come
to the big problem: His mother began planning a party for the
day after the wedding for all of those not invited to the main one.
She told us this less than a month before the wedding, and said that
she had already set it up and invited people from out of state (people
whom we do not know, and who were not on her original list).
This "reception after the reception" is not something that
we were at all interested in. Rather, we had planned to spend
our first day together taking a day trip to a location with a lot
of meaning for us, shopping, having a nice dinner and such.
You know, maybe we'd like to do what WE wanted on our first day of
married life, thanks! You know the expression, "Giving
an inch and taking a mile"? This could not be closer to
the situation. After I encouraged DF to stay connected with
his family, we became expected at every event, every dinner, every
week! When we would try to do our own thing, that's when the
evil DIL stuff began. I was keeping him from his family!
It basically comes down to a woman in serious denial of the fact that
she has driven away both of her children (although only DF remains
independent of her 100%, the daughter always needs $). I feel
that she has chosen me as the scapegoat, and if that's what she needs
to soothe herself and remain committed to things as they are, I guess
it's something I'll just have to deal with.
Signed - It Never Ends
( responses to this story )
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Fry Her TM
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- southernbelle, 3 of 4 needed/Posted:
2-APR-09
I had been dating my DH for about 5 and half
years, when we got engaged. We've known each other since elementary
school, and were next door neighbors. Thus, I have really known
him and his family for at least the past decade. He has an older
sister who has made quite a big mess of her life. She has always
treated her brother horribly and is the golden child of the family,
regardless of the troubles she has caused (including stealing from
her parents, and bringing a sweet child into the world with a man
who is known to have at one time dealt drugs). When we first
got engaged, our families (who had been friends) wanted to get together
for a meal, in celebration. At this event, FMIL publicly announced
that she was so glad that she had the "boy", because she
wasn't going to have to pay for anything! Needless to say, my
family was a bit offended by this. But, we shrugged it off,
figuring that if we were paying, we would get to make all of the decisions
without her (and with DF, of course). The fun didn't end there
- not even close. DF's mother and his sister expected that his
sister would be one of my bridesmaids, regardless of the fact that
she has quite literally treated me like dirt as long as I've known
her. Only recently (since the engagement) have I begun to exist
to this girl. Previously, if I was in the room, she would refuse
to speak to or look at me! We got past all of the bridal party
talk with a quick, "over my dead body" from my guy and me,
so all was well there. What happened in the following week,
however, is something straight from the life of Britney Spears, who
appears to be her idol. She found out that her husband was buying
a very expensive piece of equipment, even though they are strapped
financially. When she called him on it, he threatened to kill
their child, or himself. No exaggerating here. A huge
dramatic ordeal ensued, and yet she forgave him for all of this.
She maintains to all who were involved that she doesn't remember what
happened. My FMIL then informed me that sister's DH was not
to be invited to the wedding, as he is no longer considered a part
of the family (not that he really was before). She wanted me
to rewrite the invite to only include the sister. This put us
in a really awkward spot. It wasn't really our place to say
that he wasn't a part of the family. That was her issue with
him. Did we want him there? Heck no! DF didn't want
*her* there! We ended up sending the invite with him on it,
and he didn't show. What happened at the wedding, however, was
one for the ages.
Signed - I Need To Write
A Book
( responses to this story )
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want my own Frequent
Fry Her TM
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- southernbelle, 4 of 4 needed/Posted:
2-APR-09
Our story begins back when DH and I were dating
in high school, back when MIL was just the BF's mother. Everything
started out fairly well. His family seemed normal and I enjoyed
spending time with them. Coming from a family with high expectations
for my academic achievement, I found spending time with them to be
relaxing and low key. In a "the grass is always greener"
sort of way, I actually felt, at times, that I preferred being with
them, where my worries were few, and I was praised for breathing.
We had been dating for a couple of years, when I began to be introduced
as the "future daughter-in-law". Their acceptance
thrilled me. They loved my family, and everything was grand,
until she got to snooping. We were around 17 and "into"
the whole texting thing. We texted day and night, like most
modern people that age. Well, she decided that one day, while
DF was outside, she would go through his cell phone, reading all of
our messages. She came across something (to this day we do not
know what) that indicated that we had, shall we say, taken our relationship
to the next level, physically. Mind you, we are both very respectful
and mature individuals, who, to this day, rarely talk "dirty"
to each other and would never be stupid enough to do so in a potentially
public way. Rather than confronting him, or us, regarding the
matter, she chose to call up my mother and tell her to keep her "slut"
daughter off her precious baby boy. She accused me of corrupting
him. I had a 4.0 from a private school and he was a 17 year
old boy - are you serious? Needless to say, the incident caused
irreparable damage to our mothers' relationship, as the allegations
were untrue. It is also interesting to note that my SIL, who
is a few years older than us, was, in fact, known to sleep around
quite a bit. Might this have been some strange transference,
whereby my MIL secretly wished someone had talked about her in such
ways? In that same time-frame, my family had arranged to go
out of town for the holidays. We asked trusted BF if he would
be willing to watch the house and take care of our pets, as we would
only be gone for a few days. His work brought him near our home
daily, so he agreed quickly, as it is not out of his way. We
assumed that everything had been taken care of, and he assured us
that he was available. We made our travel plans and were set.
Two days before the trip, FMIL asked if my mother and I would accompany
her and FSIL on an outing. While eating, my mother thanked MIL
for allowing BF to take care of our home. Her response was an
"Absolutely not. He would not be driving up and down the
road during the holidays. No. He won't do it."
My mother made it clear that our plans had been made and that we were
counting on him. Her answer was, "No". A few
days before this outing, a very close family friend, like a mother
to my mother, had passed away. This night was her viewing.
We explained to MIL, prior to the outing, why we had to be back at
a certain time. On the drive back, SIL decided that she HAD
to stop at a premium coffee cafe. MIL, who was driving, stopped.
The two spent 25 minutes in line, waiting for her drink. We
were over an hour late to the viewing, and my mother and I were mortified
and upset. MIL's decision not to let DF watch our pets resulted
in our scrambling, the day before Christmas, to find a kennel that
would accept multiple animals on short notice. This cost us
$600. It also caused us, and the pets, a great deal of stress.
That's two nails in the coffin of our mothers' relationship.
Signed - Just Getting Started
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Fry Her TM
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Working Women Don't Have Wives