Frequent
Fry HerTM Squid Of The Future
Age: 28 MILAge: 40 Something
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture/Posted: 27-NOV-03
Last summer I had finally gotten tired of all the BS,
so I told DH that I would no longer be going to his parents' house
to visit. I never asked him to stop, I just refused to go.
That summer and fall we went through a very rough time, and actually
split up for a while. We later realized that we had too much
going for us to let the problems that we were having ruin our relationship.
We made a new commitment to each other, and have been going strong
ever since. Recently, DH told me that the whole summer when
I was not accompanying him to visit his parents, MIL and SIL were
constantly telling him that I was cheating with SIL's ex. At
first, he would tell them that I would not do that, but after months
of this, they managed to put doubts in his head. He says now
that this was a big part of the problems that we had last year.
He just hadn't wanted to believe that his own mother and sister would
try to cause trouble like that. He had known for some time that
they would do little things, but this was major. At one time,
MIL even told him, "You really need to just pack your bags and
leave her, because you should not have to put up with that kind of
thing." I am just at a loss as to how they can be like
that. No, our relationship wasn't perfect, but they knew that
I made him happy. Even during the rough times, my own mother
just hoped that we would be able to work things out, but MIL and SIL
were plotting to split us up, even during the good times. During
the time that we were apart, they let him in on the little things
that they had done all along, thinking that I was out of the picture,
so they could show him how they had "helped". Little
did they know that the things they told him were part of what convinced
him that we deserved another chance. As I mentioned in one of
my other stories, he has know broken off all contact with his immediate
family and things have been so much better between us. We are
expecting a baby in May, and right now we're trying to decide whether
to reestablish contact with them after the baby is born. We
haven't made a decision yet. But we have decided that if we
do start speaking to them again, we will sit down with them and let
them know that their lies and manipulating will not be tolerated this
time around, and that if they want a relationship with us, they will
respect our relationship as husband and wife.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture/Posted: 30-SEP-03
When my husband told his parents that he was going
to ask me to marry him, his mother's reaction was, "Oh God, she's
pregnant!" He told her no, but she refused to believe that
there could be any other reason why her son would want to marry me.
She watched me like a hawk for signs that I was hiding a pregnancy,
until 9 months had passed. Now that we've been married for 3
years, I actually am pregnant. But, luckily I don't have to
deal with MIL, because DH severed ties with his family a few months
ago after finally getting tired of their manipulating and lies.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture/Posted: 13-AUG-03
My husband recently asked his parents for help getting
a loan. We just bought a house a year ago, so we have a large
amount of debt. We didn't have the greatest credit, even before
that, due to several hundred thousands of dollars of medical bills
that my husband is still disputing with the insurance company.
Well, the in-laws said that they would help, and my husband was very
happy. Knowing these people from an outsider's point of view,
I warned my husband not to get his hopes up until the papers were
actually signed. They kept stalling about it. And, then,
they finally told hubby that they could not help him, because his
sister might find out and be upset that they helped him after they
would not help her with buying a vehicle. His sister sits at
home and does nothing but complain about how she has no money.
She is so far behind on trailer and land payments that she is about
to lose everything. It is funny that she and her husband are
so poor, but they can still manage to have a new computer, a game
system with at least $300 worth of games, a new DVD player, etc.,
etc. I can understand them not wanting to take a chance with
her. My husband is the hardest working man that I know.
He has completely turned his life around in the 5 years since I met
him. The only time he has ever missed work is when he was so
sick that the boss sent him back home when he showed up, and one other
time this winter when we had a blizzard that dumped 4 ft of snow and
it was impossible to get out. He has always helped his parents
out, even buying his mother a car before he was 21. There is
practically zero risk for them. I am positive that MIL is behind
the sudden change. FIL said yes immediately, but then, as soon
as MIL found out, the stalling began. She has always favored
SIL anyway, and I am sure that she is upset that FIL would dare to
make the decision to help my husband after they didn't help SIL.
They are going to buy property for SIL if she gets thrown out of her
place for not paying land/trailer rent. So much for the excuse
of not helping hubby because they won't help his sister.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 22-JUN-03
My MIL started out on her quest to remove me from her
son's life well before we ever got married. She took great pleasure
in telling tales intended to cause me to doubt the relationship and/or
my then boyfriend's character. One night, I was talking to him
on the phone. He was supposed to come to my house that night,
but he called to say that he couldn't make it. This was fine
with me. His mother overheard. He then decided to scrap
his other plans and come see me, but never called back to say that
he would be there. His mother still assumed that he was not
going to be with me. Naturally, the next day, while he was at
work, she called to tell me about how he had been out with another
woman and how she just thought I should know what was going on.
I wasn't sure whether to be angry or to laugh my butt off. At
the time when this other woman was supposedly picking him up at his
mother's house, he was here with me and stayed here the entire night.
Another time, she called to let me know that he was with a friend
whom she didn't care for, and she wanted to tell me some stories about
how the two of them had gotten into trouble with the law. I
knew that my husband had a rough past, but I felt that it was his
decision whether or not to tell me about it. She was irate when
I refused to listen to her stories. I told her that it was between
her son and me, and that I would not hear the stories from anyone
but him.
Signed - I'm ***So*** Sure
She Just Wanted To Help
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JUL-03
My husband really likes eagles, and he collects items
with eagles on them - figurines, etc. At our housewarming, MIL
gave us an eagle statue. It was fiber-optic, yet still would
have been tasteful if not for the fact that it was perched on top
of what looked like a pile of whipped topping with blue highlights.
It was decorated with pink rosebuds and gold stars. And, not
to mention, 8 pounds of iridescent glitter. Oh, and it was clutching
a glitter accented Confederate flag in its talons.
Signed - Still Picking
Glitter Off of Everything, After A Year
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-JUL-03
My husband's parents never really bought him anything
when he was a kid. He had to work from the time that he was
very young, and if he wanted anything, he had to get it himself.
Now, I understand not spoiling kids, but we're talking about not giving
him so much as a toy, and he had to work to pay for toys when he was
10 or younger. When he got to junior high, he had to work to
buy his own clothes. These people are not poor. They live
quite comfortably, and to them, writing a check for a thousand dollars
is nothing. DH and I are by no means rich, but we get by and
we are happy. Our son wants a dirt bike because DH has one.
We decided that he is getting old enough, and we started saving money
so that he can get one for a birthday present next year. My
husband's sister told us that after MIL found this out, she said,
"What the he!! does that boy need a bike for? They're just
wasting their money." This made DH and me so mad.
Just because she didn't think that she should ever have to buy her
kids anything (oh, correction, SIL got anything she wanted and still
does), that doesn't mean that's how we raise our kids. What
we do with our money is none of her business.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- squidofthefuture, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-AUG-03
I had an older car that needed some work done.
It was still an excellent car though. MIL did not think so,
and kept hounding us to quit driving that "junk" and to
buy a car that they were selling for some friends of theirs.
Finally, she was getting on my husband about it so much that I told
him that we would just buy the car because I didn't want him in
the middle of it. At the time, my DH had just gotten back
to work after being laid off for 6 months, so we were a little short
of cash. MIL told us that she would pay for the car and then
we could just pay her back a little at a time whenever we had some
extra. I should have known better. It took us a good
while to get back on our feet, and a year later we still owed $300.
My husband and I talked to his mother and told her that we would
get the money to her as soon as possible. She told us not
to worry about it and to take as long as we needed. Then,
hubby's sister called to tell us that MIL was telling everyone in
the family, and all of her friends, that we would not pay her back,
even though we only owed "such a small amount".
That "small amount" to her was a lot to us right then.
Needless to say, we were furious that she was being so nice to us
while calling us deadbeats behind our backs. As soon as we
got our tax refund check, my husband and I drove up to her house.
He took $300, laid it on her table in front of her, said, "Here's
your money, bye," and walked out. He got in to the car
and told me to drive. As we pulled out of the driveway she
ran out on the porch and kept saying, "But I told you to take
as long as you need! You don't have to pay me now."
By the way, the car we bought from her was the biggest piece of
junk that I ever drove. The transmission and starter went
out on it before a year was up. My so-called junker (a Mustang)
is still going strong.
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
