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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Age: 30    MIL Age: 60

frequent fry her - sugarbear Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear/Posted: 31-DEC-03
For Christmas last year (our 1st as a married couple) DH and I went to his parent's house for Christmas dinner and presents.  Then, we went to my parent's.  My mom always asks what I/we want, and just goes and gets it.  No surprises, but she doesn't like making a huge deal out of the presents.  She does get several smaller things as a surprise, but the "large" gift is usually something that she has me pick out.  Anyway, that year, she got DH and me a video game system, along with the extra junk (memory card, extra controller, etc.) and several games.  She bought them in mid November, and I had told my DH that she was getting it for us.  He mentioned it to his mother, about a week later.  Flash forward to Christmas morning.  MIL brought us over to the tree, and showed us a large, wrapped present.  As we ripped the paper, she said that we were just going to have to take it back, anyway.  DH and I looked at each other, and then down at the box.  Yep.  It was THE EXACT SAME GAME SYSTEM that my mother had over at her house.  The woman was the ONLY one who knew that she had duplicated a gift, but instead of taking it back or calling my mom to double-check, MIL just wrapped it and stuck it under the tree!  She had plenty of time - over three weeks - to return it.  She doesn't work, either.  She just watches HUGE amounts of TV.  She also had a list that she had REQUESTED from DH and me that had several choices of nice, inexpensive items that we really wanted (none of which we received).  I also saw that my mother had bought the system almost a week before MIL had purchased hers.  The thing that bothered me the most was that she was badgering my mom to come with us over to the IL's house, and it would have really upset my mother to see us opening up a present that she had waiting!  My mom was upset anyway!  MIL didn't care about hurting her feelings or about disappointing her son.  All she cared about was being stubborn and lazy about taking something back!  She "promised" to use a list this year.  But, when my DH called her to let her know that we had one, she said that we were "too late" and that she was already done.  This was before Thanksgiving!!!  She won't go shopping after that, apparently.  It's strange, since last year she was out during the first week of December buying a game system.

        Signed - Would Rather Have A Card This Year!

frequent fry her - sugarbear Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear/Posted: 7-NOV-03
When my DH and I were married, we did the customary thing of saving the top tier of the wedding cake for our first anniversary.  As we were packing up the various wedding items, MIL told my DH that it is a tradition to have the in-laws and parents over on your first anniversary for cake and punch.  This was the first time that either of us had heard of that.  I know the cake part, but including your parents and in-laws?  Maybe that was OK for later anniversaries, but not on our first!  I have been asking other married couples if they had ever heard of doing this, but no one had ever even heard of it!  It turns out that MIL's mother (who was very bossy and intrusive) made MIL and FIL do the exact same thing.  She complained about it then, but that wasn't stopping her from trying to make DH and me do it!  She also mentioned that on the weekend of our anniversary, which is coming up, there is a garden show that she wants to go to with us.  It is on our anniversary!  My DH HATES garden stuff.  Yeah, like that's going to happen.  We are going out of town!!

        Signed - Just Say No To MILs!

frequent fry her - sugarbear, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-JUL-03
There are several things that I need to vent over:  My FIL is not a huge problem, other than being emotionally distant and a couch potato extraordinaire, but my MIL is a passive/aggressive control freak with a martyr complex, who can't stand the idea that her "little boy" isn't at her beck and call anymore.  I have lots of stories, even though my DH and I have only been married for just over 6 months (engaged for over a year).  DH and I are buying our first house together.  My mom and dad (they are divorced, but get along well) each gifted us money for the down payment, and let DH and me know that if we get into an emergency situation, they will be there to help.  My in-laws, however, have expressed a minimum of interest in this big step, and offers of help have been basically, "FIL and I will come over and help unpack stuff and get the kitchen stuff put away, " etc.  We've told them, "Thanks for the offer," but we don't need them to do any of that (really, my DH did the turn down in a nice way).  Now, my in-laws are not hurting for money, but knowing how they are about it, we didn't even entertain the idea of asking for help, monetary or otherwise, from them.  MIL has since decided that she is upset that we don't want her deciding how our cabinets or drawers should be organized, and she decided that our buying a house isn't important enough to talk about.  They don't ask if DH is excited about having his (our) own place or anything.  They did tell us, months ago, that we could have the used fridge and washer/dryer that belonged to DH's grandfather, who passed away over a year ago.  They did this mostly because they don't think they can get enough money out of the appliances if they sell them.  These appliances are pretty old, and might not even be working now, since they have been stored in their garage for over a year.  But, at least it's something.  MIL has been treating my DH like he is a 12 year old child since I've met him (he's 29), and she is constantly using him to do things around their house, even though both of them are at home 24/7 (neither of them work).  They sit around watching their 3 TVs with 3 VCRs.  They record the shows that they can't watch because they are watching something else on each of the TVs.  And, then they watch them later.  How sad is that?  They never do anything thoughtful for DH after he does stuff, either, because he is their kid (like their car or their house, i.e., a possession) and he "has" to do what they ask.  Recently, they asked him to get up on the roof and trim overhanging branches with a chainsaw.  MIL guilted DH into doing it by saying that if DH didn't do it, FIL would end up getting up there and would probably fall off and hurt himself.  So, DH did it, and it took several hours, and he came home exhausted and blistered and hungry.  Heaven forbid that those two actually go pick up a burger and fries for their son as a "reward" for helping them.  This was also a visit that was supposed to be "quality time" since they hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks, but I guess they cared more about saving money by putting their son to work, than actually expressing interest in his life.  MIL calls and talks for 30 minutes about herself and her stupid bigoted neighbors before she ever asks how DH is.  DH is really getting sick of it, though.  He's finally started saying "no" to the butting in and various chores that they save up for him.  I don't think that doing things for your parents should be mandatory.  You should do it because you care about them and want to help them out.  But, they should also appreciate the effort!  Parents helping their kids should be treated the same way.  I'm just so thankful that I have such great parents because I know they didn't have to help us get our house at all.

        Signed - Leave My Drawers Alone, MIL!

frequent fry her - sugarbear, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 25-SEP-03
I wrote in recently as "Leave my drawers alone, MIL!" (posted July 17th).  Here is a funny and recent happening:  My MIL has refused to get her hair cut at all, due to the fact that her salon raised their price $5.  This is the first price increase in several years, but MIL is mad because she shouldn't be charged extra because she is a "loyal customer".  So, to spite her hairdresser, she is now sporting a frizzy, floppy fright wig of a hairstyle.  Yep.  That's really hurting the hairdresser.  Just pay the 20 bucks and stop looking like a crazy bag lady, MIL!!!

        Signed - Sugarbear

frequent fry her - sugarbear, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 27-SEP-03
My MIL has been planning to hold a garage sale for almost 2 years now.  She has filled her garage to bursting with junk that was leftovers when my DH's grandfather (FIL's father) passed away.  My hubby and I just bought a house a few months ago, and up until we started moving, the garage sale was a distant memory.  Of course, in the middle of our move, MIL decided that this was the time that we must come and remove ALL of my DH's junk/childhood toys etc., that had been stored in a closet and in the garage on shelves, well out of the way and not bothering anyone.  Also, for 3 weekends in a row, she demanded our time to help her in some form relating to the "garage sale".  We hardly got to unpack anything for over a month.  You see, she wanted to get "HER house in order".  Never mind that we were frantically trying to get moved out of an apartment, and we both worked at different times of the day (me day, DH nights).  It is . . .

        Signed - Always About Her

frequent fry her - sugarbear, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - sugarbear, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 27-SEP-03
IL and FIL came up to see our new house.  We told them that we were recovering from bad colds, and maybe next weekend would be better, but that wasn't soon enough for MIL.  It also happened to be the weekend after my DH's birthday.  So, they arrived and MIL rushed in and planted a big kiss on DH's cheek.  This surprised us both, because in the three or more years that I've known my DH, I've seen MIL kiss him exactly 3 times (once was on our wedding day).  Remember, I said that we had colds, right?  Anyway, she gave him his gift and he was messing about with it (CD box set, so he was in his own little world).  She jumped up and said, "Let's see this house."  So, I showed her and a reluctant FIL (he really didn't care to wander about).  MIL's only comment (nice one, that is) was "those chairs go good with that table," (because she gave us the chairs).  We appreciated the chairs, but they are UGLY and not very comfortable.  But, at least we had some extra seating.  She did not mention a word about our painting the bedroom, or the bathroom décor, or anything.  She then spent the remainder of the visit talking about the past, i.e., times when I wasn't around to mess up their perfect little family.  So, not only do I have nothing really to contribute to the walk down memory lane, I was made to feel like an outsider, and . . .

        Signed - Left Out IN MY OWN HOME!!!


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