Age: 30 MIL Age: 60
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear/Posted: 31-DEC-03
For Christmas last year (our 1st as a married couple)
DH and I went to his parent's house for Christmas dinner and presents.
Then, we went to my parent's. My mom always asks what I/we want,
and just goes and gets it. No surprises, but she doesn't like making
a huge deal out of the presents. She does get several smaller things
as a surprise, but the "large" gift is usually something
that she has me pick out. Anyway, that year, she got DH and me a
video game system, along with the extra junk (memory card, extra controller,
etc.) and several games. She bought them in mid November, and I had
told my DH that she was getting it for us. He mentioned it to his
mother, about a week later. Flash forward to Christmas morning.
MIL brought us over to the tree, and showed us a large, wrapped present.
As we ripped the paper, she said that we were just going to have to
take it back, anyway. DH and I looked at each other, and then down
at the box. Yep. It was THE EXACT SAME GAME SYSTEM that my mother
had over at her house. The woman was the ONLY one who knew that she
had duplicated a gift, but instead of taking it back or calling my
mom to double-check, MIL just wrapped it and stuck it under the tree!
She had plenty of time - over three weeks - to return it. She doesn't
work, either. She just watches HUGE amounts of TV. She also had
a list that she had REQUESTED from DH and me that had several choices
of nice, inexpensive items that we really wanted (none of which we
received). I also saw that my mother had bought the system almost
a week before MIL had purchased hers. The thing that bothered me
the most was that she was badgering my mom to come with us over to
the IL's house, and it would have really upset my mother to see us
opening up a present that she had waiting! My mom was upset anyway!
MIL didn't care about hurting her feelings or about disappointing
her son. All she cared about was being stubborn and lazy about taking
something back! She "promised" to use a list this year.
But, when my DH called her to let her know that we had one, she said
that we were "too late" and that she was already done.
This was before Thanksgiving!!! She won't go shopping after that,
apparently. It's strange, since last year she was out during the
first week of December buying a game system.
Signed - Would Rather Have
A Card This Year!
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear/Posted: 7-NOV-03
When my DH and I were married, we did the customary
thing of saving the top tier of the wedding cake for our first anniversary.
As we were packing up the various wedding items, MIL told my DH that
it is a tradition to have the in-laws and parents over on your first
anniversary for cake and punch. This was the first time that
either of us had heard of that. I know the cake part, but including
your parents and in-laws? Maybe that was OK for later anniversaries,
but not on our first! I have been asking other married couples
if they had ever heard of doing this, but no one had ever even heard
of it! It turns out that MIL's mother (who was very bossy and
intrusive) made MIL and FIL do the exact same thing. She complained
about it then, but that wasn't stopping her from trying to make DH
and me do it! She also mentioned that on the weekend of our
anniversary, which is coming up, there is a garden show that she wants
to go to with us. It is on our anniversary! My DH HATES
garden stuff. Yeah, like that's going to happen. We are
going out of town!!
Signed - Just Say No To
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-JUL-03
There are several things that I need to vent over:
My FIL is not a huge problem, other than being emotionally distant
and a couch potato extraordinaire, but my MIL is a passive/aggressive
control freak with a martyr complex, who can't stand the idea that
her "little boy" isn't at her beck and call anymore.
I have lots of stories, even though my DH and I have only been married
for just over 6 months (engaged for over a year). DH and I are
buying our first house together. My mom and dad (they are divorced,
but get along well) each gifted us money for the down payment, and
let DH and me know that if we get into an emergency situation, they
will be there to help. My in-laws, however, have expressed a
minimum of interest in this big step, and offers of help have been
basically, "FIL and I will come over and help unpack stuff and
get the kitchen stuff put away, " etc. We've told them,
"Thanks for the offer," but we don't need them to do any
of that (really, my DH did the turn down in a nice way). Now,
my in-laws are not hurting for money, but knowing how they are about
it, we didn't even entertain the idea of asking for help, monetary
or otherwise, from them. MIL has since decided that she is upset
that we don't want her deciding how our cabinets or drawers should
be organized, and she decided that our buying a house isn't important
enough to talk about. They don't ask if DH is excited about
having his (our) own place or anything. They did tell us, months
ago, that we could have the used fridge and washer/dryer that belonged
to DH's grandfather, who passed away over a year ago. They did
this mostly because they don't think they can get enough money out
of the appliances if they sell them. These appliances are pretty
old, and might not even be working now, since they have been stored
in their garage for over a year. But, at least it's something.
MIL has been treating my DH like he is a 12 year old child since I've
met him (he's 29), and she is constantly using him to do things around
their house, even though both of them are at home 24/7 (neither of
them work). They sit around watching their 3 TVs with 3 VCRs.
They record the shows that they can't watch because they are watching
something else on each of the TVs. And, then they watch them
later. How sad is that? They never do anything thoughtful
for DH after he does stuff, either, because he is their kid (like
their car or their house, i.e., a possession) and he "has"
to do what they ask. Recently, they asked him to get up on the
roof and trim overhanging branches with a chainsaw. MIL guilted
DH into doing it by saying that if DH didn't do it, FIL would end
up getting up there and would probably fall off and hurt himself.
So, DH did it, and it took several hours, and he came home exhausted
and blistered and hungry. Heaven forbid that those two actually
go pick up a burger and fries for their son as a "reward"
for helping them. This was also a visit that was supposed to
be "quality time" since they hadn't seen him in a couple
of weeks, but I guess they cared more about saving money by putting
their son to work, than actually expressing interest in his life.
MIL calls and talks for 30 minutes about herself and her stupid bigoted
neighbors before she ever asks how DH is. DH is really getting
sick of it, though. He's finally started saying "no"
to the butting in and various chores that they save up for him.
I don't think that doing things for your parents should be mandatory.
You should do it because you care about them and want to help them
out. But, they should also appreciate the effort! Parents
helping their kids should be treated the same way. I'm just
so thankful that I have such great parents because I know they didn't
have to help us get our house at all.
Signed - Leave My Drawers
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 25-SEP-03
I wrote in recently as "Leave my drawers alone,
MIL!" (posted July 17th). Here is a funny and recent happening:
My MIL has refused to get her hair cut at all, due to the fact that
her salon raised their price $5. This is the first price increase
in several years, but MIL is mad because she shouldn't be charged
extra because she is a "loyal customer". So, to spite
her hairdresser, she is now sporting a frizzy, floppy fright wig of
a hairstyle. Yep. That's really hurting the hairdresser.
Just pay the 20 bucks and stop looking like a crazy bag lady, MIL!!!
Signed - Sugarbear
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 27-SEP-03
My MIL has been planning to hold a garage sale for
almost 2 years now. She has filled her garage to bursting with
junk that was leftovers when my DH's grandfather (FIL's father) passed
away. My hubby and I just bought a house a few months ago, and
up until we started moving, the garage sale was a distant memory.
Of course, in the middle of our move, MIL decided that this was the
time that we must come and remove ALL of my DH's junk/childhood toys
etc., that had been stored in a closet and in the garage on shelves,
well out of the way and not bothering anyone. Also, for 3 weekends
in a row, she demanded our time to help her in some form relating
to the "garage sale". We hardly got to unpack anything
for over a month. You see, she wanted to get "HER house
in order". Never mind that we were frantically trying to
get moved out of an apartment, and we both worked at different times
of the day (me day, DH nights). It is . . .
Signed - Always About Her
Fry Her TM
- sugarbear, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 27-SEP-03
IL and FIL came up to see our new house. We told
them that we were recovering from bad colds, and maybe next weekend
would be better, but that wasn't soon enough for MIL. It also
happened to be the weekend after my DH's birthday. So, they
arrived and MIL rushed in and planted a big kiss on DH's cheek.
This surprised us both, because in the three or more years that I've
known my DH, I've seen MIL kiss him exactly 3 times (once was on our
wedding day). Remember, I said that we had colds, right?
Anyway, she gave him his gift and he was messing about with it (CD
box set, so he was in his own little world). She jumped up and
said, "Let's see this house." So, I showed her and
a reluctant FIL (he really didn't care to wander about). MIL's
only comment (nice one, that is) was "those chairs go good with
that table," (because she gave us the chairs). We appreciated
the chairs, but they are UGLY and not very comfortable. But,
at least we had some extra seating. She did not mention a word
about our painting the bedroom, or the bathroom décor, or anything.
She then spent the remainder of the visit talking about the past,
i.e., times when I wasn't around to mess up their perfect little family.
So, not only do I have nothing really to contribute to the walk down
memory lane, I was made to feel like an outsider, and . . .
Signed - Left Out IN MY