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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Truly Can't Stand Her
Age: 18       MIL Age: 36


And She Does It Again!
This woman is the most selfish, trashy, and uncaring human I have ever met; I wish that I didn't have to deal with her.

frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 16-MAR-08
It has been a while since I have had any stories about my MIL.  That was due to the fact that she has distanced herself from us as much as possible.  We saw her at DH's GM's house on Thanksgiving.  We did not even see her for Christmas.  She did not even make a call to her DS on Christmas Day!  However, just about a week before Christmas, she contacted my DH.  She left a message on his phone saying, "We need to talk."  He went to her house, and not even a half hour later he came back home.  He, basically, said that she felt bad that they have no relationship.  Well, sweet MIL, that is what we have been trying to tell you for two years!  After that, nothing even happened.  She must have just felt some pressure around the holidays to be a "good mother".  So, fast forwarding to March, which is our DS's birthday month.  We had a party for him, and we sent her an obligatory invite.  She did end up attending.  It was awkward, to say the least, and she did not converse with anyone at the party, other than her DH and DD.  However, she did attend, which was unexpected.  We were glad that she at least came for that.  We, basically, came to the realization that we will never be close with her.  It was just something that we had to accept.  Just this week, I was on the phone with my DH's GM.  We were discussing some Easter plans, when she revealed something to me.  She stated that she felt sad that her DD (my MIL) and her DH (my step FIL) and DD (my SIL) were moving to another state in the southwest!  Let me tell you, we live in New England, and they mentioned nothing to my DH, about the move, on our DS's birthday, or at any time, for that matter.  I, basically, told her that we had never heard of such a thing.  His GM said that they had already had an open house and put their house on the market!  I know that we have no relationship with my MIL, but how could she not even tell her own DS that she was planning on moving across the country?  I found this to be completely absurd.  Now there is absolutely no chance that my DH and his mother will ever have a relationship.  I hope that she is happy with the decisions she has made throughout her life.

        Signed - So Long, MIL!
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 30-JUN-07
I just got married.  MIL was so hard to deal with throughout the whole wedding process.  I selected her fourteen year old DD to be a bridesmaid.  My sister was the MOH.  I thought that it would be nice to have my DH's only sister and my only sister in it together.  Boy, was I wrong.  I realized too close to the wedding how stupid it really was for me to have picked a fourteen year old for the job.  She couldn't have been less interested in anything!  I called MIL's house 2 weeks before the wedding.  I wanted to see what was up with them, because I kept trying to call and no one was returning my calls.  I needed to talk to them, because the fourteen year old bridesmaid still had not tried on the dress that I went and picked up without either of them.  I talked to my bridesmaid and told her that she needed to come over to my house and try it on.  I asked her, "Is this something that is really important to you?"  I basically told her, in a very nice way, that I was a little disappointed because I tried so hard to pick her up and drop her off to get her involved with things, and she didn't care, nor appreciate, anything.  She said, "Yes, it is important to me.  This is something that I want to do.  I guess things have just been coming up with my friend lately."  I said,"Well, we are family.  Don't you think that is important, too?"  She didn't say much to my last question.  I told her that I wanted to speak to her mother.  When FMIL got on the phone, she immediately started talking very rudely to me.  She got on the phone saying, "What are you calling me for?"  I said, "Well, I need to talk to you regarding the bridesmaid dress.  I picked it up last weekend, and now I need my bridesmaid to try it on and make sure it fits right."  She replied with, "You know my daughter is only fourteen years old.  What do you expect from her?"  I said, "Do not talk down to me like I am stupid.  I know how old she is.  What I expect is for you, her mother, to step in and help her with the things that she needs to do."  Then she said, "Did I call you stupid?  Tell me, did that come out of my mouth?"  I said, "No, it didn't come out of your mouth, but the way you talked to me implied that you think I am stupid."  The conversation kept on going back and forth, with her repeating just about the same exact things every time.  Then she said, "What is this really about?  I do not know why you are calling me."  I said, "I already told you why I called, because things need to get done, and I keep calling and leaving messages, and no one has returned any of my calls."  She said, "I am just going to say this right here and right now.  I say this to anyone who does it because it makes me so annoyed, and you are doing it right now.  You keep saying I, I, I.  Is this all about you right now?"  I said, "I cannot believe that you are trying to correct me right now, but since it bothers you so much, WE are upset with the way things have been going.  WE feel that you have made no effort in anything ever.  WE feel like you have abandoned my fiancé, your only son."  Then she said, "I did not abandon him.  He left our house as soon as he could.  You took him away from us.  He is with your family for everything, and he doesn't see us."  Then I said, "You know that is so untrue because we share the holidays between the two families, and you don't even come and visit us anymore.  When your grandson doesn't know who you are, don't blame me, because you are the one who has been absent from not only his life, but from ours."  Side Note:  Did she really expect her eighteen year old son to live with her forever?  He had a baby with me and a family with us.  He needed to be with us, not his mom.  Also, this is coming from the same lady who dropped off six boxes of unwashed, dirty, disgusting clothes and trash of his that got pissed on by her cat!  He was going to go over there and wash everything and pack neatly, but she took it upon herself to crumple everything up and get rid of his belonging as soon as possible!  Then, she had the nerve to say, "When he was a baby (talking about our son), I bent over backwards, trying to come see him every Sunday.  BTW, that is the worst day for me.  I have a life, too, you know.  I have my own things to do."  I said, "The visits stopped months ago.  You never bent over backwards for anyone!"  Then she said, "Well, I just didn't want to be that overbearing MIL who is always around.  I thought you guys wanted your space."  I said, "How can someone who you never, ever see be overbearing?  We see my parents every day, and they are not overbearing.  I think you are making up excuses." Then, all she said was, "Point taken."  After that I said, "Do you remember a couple of months back when I called you to talk about everything that was going on?  I called you because we wanted to have a relationship with you.  You never made any effort to be in our lives.  Now we are talking about the same thing months later, and still nothing has changed.  After that call you still never tried to be in our lives.  I told you then that you were not in our lives, and now you are saying that you didn't want to be overbearing.  I don't believe anything you say."  During this conversation, I also mentioned the fact that she didn't even care enough about my bridal shower to show up on time.  She showed up 45 minutes late!  At the actual bridal shower she lied to my mom and said, "Well, I guess it was my fault because I didn't put any gas or oil in my car."  I knew she was lying, so I put her to the test during the conversation that we had on the phone.  I first had asked her DD, before I even talked to MIL, why they were late.  She flat out said, "Oh, we left late."  She didn't mention anything about car troubles.  So, when I mentioned it to MIL, she said, in a very rude tone, "Sorry, I had car troubles.  I can't turn back time.  What do you want me to do about it now?"  I still have not confronted her about that.  I know the truth, and I know that she is lying to me.  Thinking about the whole conversation now just makes me know that it was pointless.  She will never change.

        Signed - I Can't Stand Liars
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 5-JUN-07
I emailed my FMIL a week ago, and she emailed me back just now.  When I started reading it, I had a very hard time making out what she was saying.  Her sentence structure was all wrong, and she had major spelling errors.  It was just pathetic that she could not even write a correct sentence.  I got very annoyed because she had the nerve to say, "Let me know if you need any last minute help or anything."  I have been planning my wedding for about 8 months!  Till now she hasn't offered anything!  Not once has she said, "What can I do?"  Or, "What can I do to help?"  She hasn't done a damned thing for us!  It is a slap in the face even say what she said 2 weeks before the wedding.  I am so happy that I will be married to such a wonderful man, but his mother is awful.  If she takes any credit for anything at the wedding, I will be livid; just absolutely furious!  I just don't want her ruining our wedding.  I have worked so hard, but I'm sure she will find a way to make something go wrong.  She will most likely show up late.  She will probably even come after the ceremony.  I'm sure I will have more to write about after the wedding!

        Signed - I Hope She Does Not Ruin Our Wedding
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 3-MAY-07
I just had my bridal shower this past weekend.  It was really nice, and everyone was there, and then it started to dawn on me, "Hey, FMIL is not here!"  About an hour later she arrived and tried to dodge a hug from me, and then she gave me a very heartless one instead.  I was so mad because her DD is one of my bridesmaids.  If I had known that they were going to be an hour late, I would have picked my bridesmaid up.  FMIL was telling my mom why she was so late, and she flat out lied!  She said, "Well, I was having car trouble.  My car wouldn't start, but I guess it's my fault, because I didn't put any gas or oil in it."  First of all, you don't put oil into a nice car unless you are getting your oil changed.  You put gas in it.  She is an idiot!  Does she really think that my mom is that foolish to believe a downright lie?  When I got home, my DF told me that she called him at 12:00 and told him that she had car trouble.  Guess what?  The bridal shower started at 12:00.  She got caught in another one of her lies.  She called him, which was stupid in the first place, since it was my bridal shower, not his.  He wasn't even there.  She should have called me if she was going to call anyone.  She lied, saying that she had car trouble, but really she was leaving late and she used that as an excuse.  She is so stupid that she was leaving at 12:00!  It takes about 45 minutes to get there, and she was leaving at 12:00, not at 11:15 like she should have.  So, a little before 1:00, FMIL arrived.  You would think that she could have at least dressed nicely for the event, but no, she wore a shirt with a hole in the back of it.  This is a woman who spends all of her time doing nice things for herself, and she couldn't have worn a nice top.  She had black pants, a black shirt, and a black shawl looking thing, but the shawl thing had a hole in it.  She just doesn't care enough to even dress nicely for my bridal shower.  It was an insult.  I would never dress like that for a bridal shower.  Believe me, I have seen this woman wear nice clothing, but my bridal shower obviously wasn't that important of an event for her.  When I gave her the nasty hug, I noticed her gross weave that she wears when she is being lazy.  It is a disgusting clip in pony tail, but it is really curly and it is reddish, and her hair is black.  It is really ratty looking, and she puts it on when she doesn't feel like doing her real hair.  All I could smell when I hugged her was smoke.  She just grossed me out, and I just about coughed my head off after hugging her.  So, then came the opening of the presents.  I was very lucky to receive many nice things from people.  After I stood up and thanked everyone, I sat back down at my table.  I was sitting there and I realized that FMIL didn't give me a gift.  I didn't want to make a scene, so I didn't do or say anything.  At the end of the party, after everyone was gone, I said to my mom and my sister, "I don't think FMIL gave me a gift."  So we looked through the gifts and the cards, and there was nothing!  I was very surprised, because I was expecting a stupid gift, but no gift at all was surprising.  I would not even have cared if she had just given me a card of some sort, but nothing at all!  I would never show up to someone's bridal shower empty handed, especially not if I was the FMIL!  She made me very upset at my bridal shower.  I can't believe that she did that.  She was acting so annoying, too.  I had a game where I wanted all girls 26 and younger to come up.  She said, "Does that mean me?"  I said, "No."  She is 36 years old!  She must think that she is 20 years old or something!  When I got home, after a while I mentioned something to my DF and he was really upset.  He said, "Well, after the wedding we probably won't be seeing her again."  She is just too into herself, and I feel disrespected that she would do something like this.  If you are going to come without a gift, at least be on time, and do not act immature.

        Signed - Bridal Shower Frustration!
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 18-MAR-07
So, back to the whole topic of the bridesmaid dress and my future MIL not paying for her own DD's bridesmaid dress and shoes, and making my DF and me pay for it.  I paid $107.49 for the shoes and the deposit for half the dress combined.  Almost 2 months later, after FMIL has made no effort to talk to us, or pay us back, DF called and had to leave a message to remind them that we needed our money back.  FMIL, SFIL and my DF's DS were on a cruise.  They did not tell us where or when they were going, or when they would be home.  I found that just a little odd.  They had a friend watching their house, so when my DF called the second time, she picked up and told him that his mom and step dad were away.  A couple of days later FMIL left a message on DF's machine saying, "I put $90 in your bank account.  We didn't have the rest, so we will get it to you later."  This annoyed me for a couple of reasons.  First of all, what right does she have to go into his bank account?  Her name isn't on anything of his.  She works at the bank that he goes to, so I told him that he needs to go to a different bank, because she probably spies on his account to see what he has and doesn't have.  If she did do that, I feel like reporting her, because if I am not mistaken, that is illegal.  Another reason that I am annoyed is because she didn't put the full amount in the account.  I am sorry, but if they can afford a cruise, they can afford an extra $17.49!  They are ridiculous, and I am making sure that this never happens again.  I bet that at this point they will just say, "Oh, it's only $17.49.  Don't worry about it.  It's not a big deal."  All I know is that when I have to pay for the rest of the dress, they better give me the money.  Before I even settled on getting the dress, I asked them if it was ok to spend the amount that it cost.  I made sure that it was all right with them, and they said it was.  I even shopped around for the cheapest place that I could find the dress.  They didn't appreciate any effort I made to help them financially, and I tried the best that I could to find a cheaper dress.  They will probably never give us the whole money back.  But, whatever.  Now I know to never trust anything that they do.

        Signed - Annoyed With Them Not Paying Us Back
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 16-MAR-07
I am getting married this summer, and it is coming up really soon, right?  I am not sure if my FMIL and FSFIL have any clue that this is for real.  I feel like they are not taking any of this seriously, because they have not once shown any interest in anything that we have been planning.  DF and I laid out the money for FSIL's shoes and bridesmaid dress. We have yet to get reimbursed from the ILs.  They gave FSIL the $100 one weekend to pay for her share, but then they took it back.  My problem is this:  When we had to go back to the bridal shop and get refitted, the ILs knew that they were going to have to give half of the money for the dress and the shoes.  But, at the last minute they pulled a fast one on us.  FSFIL dropped her off (I was still at school in the morning, so I wasn't there) and he told DF that they didn't have the money then!  Well, didn't they have it exactly a week before?  I am just curious as to when we will finally get our money back?  Do they realize that we have to pay for every single thing in this wedding, and we should not have to pay for a bridesmaid dress on top of it?  Not only that, but I shopped around to all the local bridal shops to see where I could get the dress for the least amount of money.  I could have just made it easier on myself and not gone through the trouble of calling at least 10 different shops to see the price of the dress.  But I guess that I did myself a favor, seeing as how I probably will end up paying for the dress myself.  A week and two days ago DF called his mom's house to see when they will pay us back.  No one was there, so he left a message.  The next day he called again, and their family friend picked up the phone and said that they were on a cruise, and would be back in a week.  Wow, so they can afford a cruise, but they can't pay for their DD's dress!  I just find it completely ridiculous that they didn't even tell us that they were leaving, or where they were going!  I don't feel like they should have to check in with us and tell us where they go on a daily basis or anything, but they usually would tell their only son where they were going!  I mean, who does that - just leaves like that, no emergency number, no nothing?  They are having their friend watch their house for the week, yet they cannot even tell their own son that they left at all.  I was just shocked and annoyed that they did this.  I guess it shouldn't have shocked me, but for some reason it did.  They are just very rude and thoughtless people, not to mention selfish.

        Signed - Here We Go Again
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 4-MAR-07
It was 4th of July, and for some reason FSFIL was talking my ear off, and making all type of suggestions and offers to me.  He said that my DF "needs to put a ring on your finger before he puts another baby in your belly."  Surprisingly, he wasn't being mean or anything, but it really wasn't any of his business.  And, for the record, my son resided in my uterus, not my belly.  So, he kept talking to me, saying that he is friends with the jewelers, and he will hook us up with a discount, and that he knows all sorts of DJ's and he will get us a deal.  We got engaged on our own time, in October, and we have been planning since January.  The wedding is going to be in June, and I have yet to see him help us or "hook us up" with anything.  I just don't understand why someone would make up all of these false promises, and then never even keep their word.  So far, I have paid for their DD's bridesmaid dress and shoes, gotten my dress and shoes, put almost all of the deposits down for the reception hall, gotten my rings (which were kindly passed down to me by a dear friend), gotten most decorations, gotten all of the stuff to make invitations for the bridal shower and for the wedding, and much more!  With all of this, my future PIL haven't even offered to help, haven't asked how anything has been going, and have not even paid for their DD's dress and shoes - a responsibility that I shouldn't need to deal with.  My mother and I have done way too much for them to not even pay for that.  My future MIL is a hairstylist, and she hasn't offered to do my hair for the wedding and let me save a bundle of money.  Nope, and I know she won't.  They are not going to do anything for us.  All they will do is talk cr@p, lie, and then not come through in the end.

        Signed - All They Do Is Lie
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 4-MAR-07
My FMIL and FSFIL are so stupid and lazy.  They have had two dogs for a while, two ferret's, and a cat.  Here is the thing:   They just moved to a new town, and before they moved their neighbor was taking their outdoor cat into her house, so they left the town without their cat.  The don't even pay any attention to the ferrets, they just live in a cage their whole life and never get any time out of it; it is so sad.  I feel so bad for them, and they smell really bad whenever you go next to their cage.  The whole room smells bad.  The two dogs that they have are another story.  They have a pit-bull mix, another mixed breed dog that I'm not sure what kind it is.  They are nice dogs.  The only problem is that my FPILs are so lazy that they never walk their dogs - ever!  I have 2 dogs, and I dog sit for my sister's 2 dogs while she is at work for four days a week.  All of them get at least 2 walks a day, every day.  In good weather, they get even more!  FSFIL admitted to me that they are too busy to walk their dogs, and he would pay for someone to come and walk them for him.  He is too cheap for that, too.  He would never pay someone for that.  So it is just kind of funny, because every time I see him over at his house, he is lounging around in his pajamas watching TV.  He is just so pathetic.  For Valentine's Day FSFIL got FMIL a "teacup Chihuahua," because she has wanted one for so long!  It made me sick to my stomach.  Then, when we were over there for Super Bowl Sunday, the puppy peed on the floor, and she yelled, "You F****r!" in front of everyone who was there, including her 13 year old DD.  A puppy doesn't know better, so yelling at it like that isn't doing anything but making her look trashy!  We were watching the game, and they said, "Here's your penis" to the new dog, and they thought that it was so funny.  They give the little puppy a "pizzle" (a cow penis).  It was so disgusting, never in my life would my dogs get anything like that.  My dogs don't even so much as get pigs ears!  They kept joking for quite some time about the "penis", and it was just so obnoxious, and they thought that they were so funny and so cool for doing it.  The last part of this segment is the most annoying of all.  They were watching "Puppy Bowl" on Super Bowl night.  It shows all puppies running around with toys and such.  A Pomeranian came on the screen, and FMIL was like, "Oh, now that's my next dog."  Then FSFIL was like, "Baby, someday I want a house with a huge backyard so that we can have our dogs run around in the yard, and I want at least 10 dogs, all different breeds!"  What a great plan for the future, having dogs that you are not even going to walk!  It's like they are collecting dogs!  They both just make me so sick.  They are just so incredibly stupid.

        Signed - Animal Care Takers, They Are Not!
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 4-MAR-07
FMIL is a complete b!tch.  She is ignorant and she is trashy.  DF has had no male influence in his life, because his mom was too selfish to make one happen for him.  He never knew who his dad was, and it wasn't until a couple of months ago that he even found out what his name was!  The weird part about it all is that he knows his GF (his dad's dad).  When FMIL was younger, she told me that my DF's GM (his dad's side) was (in her exact words) "a f*****g b!tch!"  The reason for her being such a bad person was because she always nagged her to see her grandson.  It seems to me that FMIL never made time for my DF to have a relationship and to see his GM and GF on his dad's side.  DF now has no relationship with anyone on his dad's side of the family, and it is all of her fault!  The worst part about it is that my FSIL has a different father, and she has a relationship with him and sees him on at least a monthly basis, if not weekly.  I just can't believe that she has made him suffer like that for her own selfishness.  Even if he was a bad father figure, she could have at least educated him a little bit about him, and let him have a relationship with his dad's side of the family.  Well, that's just the type of person that she is.

        Signed - Selfish MIL Chapter 1
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher/Posted: 3-MAR-07
I just want to write a message to people who have written responses to a few of my stories to make some things clear.  I was pretty sure that this website was for people who have problems with their MILs and want to share their stories with other people who can relate to them.  I am sharing my stories, and many people seem to have problems with what I have written.  Many people feel that I am trying too hard to be angry with my FMIL.  I am angry with her, yes, but I am not trying to be.  In fact, I thought that by writing stories it would help me express some of my feelings, and hopefully feel better.  I have read everyone's responses to my stories, and while I see all of your points, I just have to say, I never said that my FPIL's need to be financially responsible for us.  I got pregnant at 16, had my son at 17, and now I am 18, and so is FDH.  We will be married in 4 months, and we are not financially stable in any way to move out of my parents' house.  We are adults, but until we have enough money to move out, my parents are not going to kick us out.  I thought that people on this website were supposed to be on the side of the writer, not the MIL, but I guess I am wrong.  I just really feel like I am rubbing everyone the wrong way, and no one seems to understand me, which is very frustrating.  So, please try to understand what I am going through.  I do appreciate people writing responses.  But, from now on, I will try to make my entries more clear, because I think some people may be getting confused by my words.

        Signed - Misunderstood
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 17-FEB-07
Well, I guess I will give a little background about my FMIL, and then I will tell one of many stories about her that make her the b!tch that she is.  Well, first of all, she is fairly young, about 36, and my DF is 18 - you do the math.  My DF and I are also young parents.  We have a son who is almost a year old.  But, her being a young parent isn't the bad part, the bad part is that she is just a horrible mother.  There's no other nice way to put it.  DF and I are getting married this summer, and I am just sick to my stomach because I know what I have to put up with for many years to come, and I can't really do anything about.  DF moved in with me at my parent's house so that we could raise our son together, and the day he officially moved in they came over with six boxes of disgusting smelling clothing, and all she said was, "Oh yeah, the cat has been in your room a lot lately."  Well, she could have washed the cat piss out of the clothing before she crumpled them up and threw them in a dingy cardboard box.  Also, my DF and I got in a car accident in May 2006, and the next morning she came over our house and didn't care about my broken rib or anything.  She was all business.  A couple of days later we found out that she took my DF off of the insurance plan.  My future step-FIL is a manager of a moving company, and he refused my DF a job, but then hired 5 more people.  FPILs are scum.  They lie, they are selfish, and they are opportunists.  DF also has a little sister who is a really sweet girl.  She is only 13, and my FMIL does not take care of her at all.  She is just parked in front of the TV, gets bad grades, and gets left home alone while my FMIL goes out and parties and drinks with friends.  I thought that I would try to be nice and cook a dinner for them, so I invited them over.  I cooked my best recipe, my gumbo, and it was fantastic.  But, I was just waiting for something bad to happen.  What do you know, FPILs started whispering at the table.  It was so rude, and then FMIL said, "Do you have any file?  It's dried okra powder to make the Gumbo thicker."  I told her that I didn't have it.  But let me tell you something (and this is coming from someone who has spent 4 years of culinary arts school, and who went to New Orleans for a special cooking class), she does not know what file' is.  File' is ground sassafras leaves, and it is a thickening agent for Gumbo.  If she's going to try and make me feel stupid by trying to give me a cooking lesson, then she should have her facts straight.  Then future step-FIL said, "Now you guys should come over for dinner and we will cook for you (total bull!)."  FMIL gave a dirty look and was like, "huh?"  She pointed to my DF and said, "There's your meal ticket.  If you want dinner at our house, he can cook."  She is just unbelievable, and I wish she was not in my life.  Although, she barely makes an effort to do anything with us, so, really, she's not in our lives too often.  But, when she is, it is unbearable.  They both make me sick!  There's much more where this came from, be on the lookout for the next entry.  It ought to be good.

        Signed - Truly Can't Stand Her
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 26-FEB-07
My FMIL is such a bad parent.  DF is 18, and MIL also has another child, a DD, who is 13.  She would leave my DF anywhere that she could when he was younger just so she could go out and have fun.  She is so pathetic!  She can't even take care of her DD, who really needs some guidance.  I have no other choice but to step in and try to be a role model for her.  She is going to be a bridesmaid at our wedding, and I brought her to get a dress fitted and such.  The lady at the store said, "What size bra do you wear?"  She didn't know, so I checked for her.  I said, "36B," and the lady said, "Hunny, you're more of a C cup."  This pissed me off, because here is this teenager who is developing and blossoming, and her mother isn't even there to support her.  What bothered me even more was the fact that when I looked at the back of her bra, it was safety pinned closed!  I offered to bring her bra shopping, so I will do that for her someday soon, because her own mother could not care less if she even wore a bra at all.  Not to mention, I will probably end up paying for the bras!  Another thing that took place throughout this whole event was that she confided in me and told me some things that I am not happy about at all!  She has told me that she stays home alone a lot while her mom goes out and parties with friends.  She didn't say it like that, but I know her mom likes to have a good time, and not worry about being a parent.  It would be one thing if the step-dad needed to go out and work, but the mom should be there with her DD.  I told my FMIL that I needed half of the money for the dress, and she gave her DD the money.  We didn't end up ordering the dress that day, so we had to go next week and put the deposit down.  When I dropped her off, her parents said, "Where's the money then?" and she took it out and they took it back from her.  The next week, they called my DF before they dropped her off and said that they didn't have the money for the deposit.  I had actually found some shoes that I put on hold, so they were going to need even more money.  They didn't have the money for anything.  I find that odd, knowing that they had it just the week before.  But, they did put money in a pool for the Super Bowl, because that was more important.  I am so fed up with them because this whole wedding is being planned by my mom and me.  My mom is paying for everything.  They haven't done anything, and the least they could do would be to pay for the bridesmaid dress for their DD.  They cant even do that!  DF had to go to the bank and take money out for the dress, and they still haven't paid the money back, nor have they communicated with us about anything.  I told my DF about all of this (the bra, and her being left alone at home at night).  He called his mom because he was upset, and he said that he doesn't want her being left home alone.  He said that they can drop her off at our house, or we will pick her up.  FMIL said, "Thanks"!  She was probably so happy, because now she can really go out and not even have to think about her DD, even though all she does is park FSIL in front of a TV and leave.  I have been very upset with the way they do things, and I even went as far as calling my FMIL and telling her how we felt, and that we are hurt by the way they make no effort to be in our lives or our son's life.  She said, "I didn't want to cramp you guys.  I thought you wanted space.  I'm sorry."  But, since then they have pulled back even more from a relationship with us.  I talked to my DF about this and he said, "They don't want anything to do with us, and I have accepted it."  I am just so mad that they could do this to us.  I need to get over it, but I can't.  I just really need to stop expecting things from them.  They are never going to be there for us ever, no matter how hard I try to make things work.

        Signed - Completely Ticked Off By Her!
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 26-FEB-07
Lately, I have been getting very angry with my FMIL.  I can't stand her at all!  Just so you can get a feel of what type of a person she is, here is another story:  I had graduated from high school, and so did my DF.  He graduated first, so we wanted to have a little party for him, because his birthday was around the same time.  When we asked if they were going to put on a celebration for him, they said, "No."  My mom and I had a party for my DF, and we invited everyone.  They didn't offer to help out whatsoever, and they just showed up, like that was all they had to do.  Not only did my parents set up the whole party, but they also gave him $200!  When it came time for my graduation party a few weeks later, all I got was one of those cheesy little books with pictures of animals and sayings, such as, "Life is a challenge...", etc.  That was my graduation present.  Thank you so much!  Not to mention, only his step-dad, sister, and a friend who lives with them showed up.  FMIL had other plans.  As if that wasn't bad enough, his step-dad felt the need to tell me that he felt very out of place at the party.  Well, I am so sorry.  I didn't force her to sit in the corner by herself the whole time.  She could have gotten up and mingled with people, but she chose not to.  I am the type of person who makes sure that everyone gets introduced to each other, and I try to make everyone feel comfortable.  Not him!  If they had a party, they would not introduce me to anyone.  Whatever.  All I know is that I am fed up with their BULLSH!T.

        Signed - Fed Up With Their BS
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frequent fry her - trulycantstandher Frequent Fry Her TM. - trulycantstandher, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 2-MAR-07
In year 2006 I was pregnant.  I was due in March, so my baby shower was in February.  My baby shower could have been nice, but it wasn't, thanks to my dysfunctional family, and most of all thanks to my FMIL.  My baby shower was at a really nice restaurant, and it wasn't inexpensive.  FMIL didn't do a proper head count, so it was a lot more money than it should have been.  I was completely shocked when she actually paid for half of it (even though her family members were handing her money for the bill at the end of the shower).  On my registry was a stroller for about $180.  DF and I were at the store and she called him and told him to buy it so that it wasn't gone when she wanted to go get it.  He paid for it, and then FFIL only paid him back half of the money.  This pissed me off big time, because he was only 17, and this was a lot of money for him to spend on his own baby's shower.  It was ridiculous.  Then, when I was at the shower, she didn't even put his name on the card.  She took all of the credit for it!  That was all she gave our son for the baby shower!  I know that she doesn't have the most money in the world, but then she shouldn't go out every weekend to night clubs and drinking with friends, because that ain't cheap.  I had the most beautiful big cake, and FMIL was right about to cut into it before my mom could even get a picture of it!  Thank God my mom was so quick witted and knew what an idiot FMIL is.  She knew FMIL would do something so thoughtless.  I am the type of person who likes to take a lot of pictures of everything.  FMIL wouldn't understand that.  She barely even has any pictures of her own son when he was a baby.  All the pictures that she did have of him she gave back to him!  She is just so pathetic, and I was so mad throughout all of the planning, because she didn't help with anything, and she didn't communicate with us at all!  She didn't even pay any attention to me at the shower.  She sat at a different table with her sisters and mom (you can tell that they don't even like her!).  My baby shower could have been a lot better if she wasn't involved, but it just made me realize that she can't be depended on, ever!  My side of the family wasn't much better.  All of my dad's sisters were so weird.  I passed around a book for people to write down their advice.  One of them wrote a couple of lines of nonsense and signed it by all of them!  Some people at the shower didn't even write anything!  It was so annoying, because I didn't really think it was that hard to write a little message.

        Signed - Baby Shower From He!!
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