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Frequent Fry Her
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Woodland Princess
Age: 30    MIL Age: 52

frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess Posted: 03-AUG-13
The in-laws must think that DH still lives at home.  They treat him like he is their slave labor, and should come running home to them to help with any chores or fixing up the house.  He hasn't lived there in over 10 years!  We have our own chores to do on the weekends, and projects to fix up our house.  But, poor DH still gets the whining guilt trip if he doesn't go help the in-laws with their work.  This even includes the in-laws scheduling projects on workdays, so he would have to take the day off to do it.  Then they get mad at DH when he doesn't take the day off to go help them.

It seems that the in-laws never figured out that if they can't do the project themselves, they should hire some help.

        Signed - DH Should Not Have A Chore List At His Parents' House
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess Posted: 27-JUL-13
MIL remodeled her bathroom several years ago.  It is a small bathroom to begin with, but she switched out the sink with a cabinet underneath for a pedestal sink.   So, no more storage anywhere in the bathroom.

One thing that she forgot to put back in was soap and towels.  At first, I thought that maybe she just hadn't finished decorating yet.  But, as time went on I realized that she just doesn't care that there is NO soap or towels, in the bathroom, for people to wash their hands.  EEEWWWWW!

        Signed - Secret Bottle Of Hand Sanitizer In My Pocket During Visits
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( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess Posted: 10-NOV-12
DH has two favorite desserts.  I found a recipe that combines them into an amazingly delicious result.  It can be difficult to make.  This is because, one of the ingredients is very seasonal, and I can only get it a few months of the year.

For Father's Day one year, I had tracked down the ingredient, and made him the dessert at his request.  He had been looking forward to eating it for days, as soon I told him I found the ingredient.  We had to go to the ILs for a late lunch, to celebrate with FIL, but we were planning on eating the dessert together at home that night.

We had eaten the meal, and spent the required amount of time visiting, and were getting ready to leave.  Then, MIL announced that she was serving dessert.  DH had already told her I had made him the special dessert for later, but she just HAD to make him her version of the same thing (DH said it was horrible, but ate it out of politeness.)  I politely declined to have some, stating that I was going to wait for DH's dessert later.

I was sitting, and playing with our child.  DH came over, and shoved a plate in my lap.  He told me that I was hurting MIL's feelings by not having any.  It's typical for her to make random complaints to him about me.  I told him that I had already declined MIL's dessert, and that I didn't want anything.

I left the dessert uneaten on their table, to prove my point.  I gave DH an earful on the way home, for expecting me to cater to MIL spitefulness.  I just wanted to . . .

        Signed - Shove The Whole Pie In Her Face!
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frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess Posted: 8-SEP-12
This story is about my MIL, but from an event that my ex-SIL had to endure.  Their first child, and first grandchild, was born in the fall.  Come Christmas time, when the child was only three months old, discussions began about where everyone would be on the holiday.

BIL and ex-SIL didn't have a lot of money.  They said that they would either be staying home, or traveling a short distance, as they could not afford a long distance trip.  MIL wanted them to visit her family about 500 miles away, and was excited about showing off the new baby.

BIL and ex-SIL had funny looks on their faces when MIL started talking about this.  She didn't offer to pay for BIL, ex-SIL and the baby to travel with her.  She only wanted to take the baby with her.  She wanted to take their baby 500 miles away without them, on the child's first Christmas.  Leaving them home alone on the holiday.  Then, she threw a fit and was mad for weeks because...

        Signed - They Dared To Tell Her NO!
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frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess Posted: 14-JUL-12
My bridal shower was an interesting experience for my friends and family, as this was the first time many of them met my MIL.  My Maid of Honor threw me a wonderful shower.  Due to my age, it was a nonalcoholic event at a local restaurant.  Everyone seemed to have a good time, except MIL.

She brought a Big Gulp size cup filled with what smelled like straight rum and very little mixer.  It was half gone when she arrived, and entirely gone when she left.  She was completely wasted.  She sat in a far corner and glared at everyone during the entire shower.

She did not participate in any games, conversation, or anything else.  When she tried to stand, she was unable to stand still.  She was so drunk that she was wobbling back and forth on her feet.  I had to deal with my friends and family asking about her for months afterward.  I still don't have a good answer as to . . .

        Signed - What Is Wrong With Her?
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frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-JUN-12
The wedding chronicles - Part 1

My MIL did the typical behavior of liking me while I was DH's girlfriend, but brought out the horns and pitchfork when he proposed.  Wedding planning was a very difficult time in our relationship.  There were so many fights that I will have to break this up into several parts.

Let's start with the guest list.  DH and I each started gathering names and addresses of people that were special to us, and that we wanted to share our wedding day with.  DH has a very large family with lots of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  He asked his mom for help, to make sure he didn't leave any of them out by mistake.  That, itself, was the mistake.  MIL took this request for help, and used it to try to invite everyone that she had ever met to our wedding.  We are talking about neighbors from 20 years ago (DH was 19 when we got married), former coworkers, friends from high school that MIL hadn't spoken with since she graduated, distant acquaintances, you get the idea.

The list got way out of hand.  Most of these people had never met DH in his entire life, and probably wouldn't know who he was.  I am a big believer that the first time you meet someone should not be at their wedding or their funeral.  We had space limitations on the number of guests, so I made a deal with DH.  He could invite anyone on MIL's list if he knew who they were based on just looking at the name, and he had to have previously met them some time in his life.  Seemed rather generous to me, since his side of the guest list had already caused me to have to trim my friends and family to accommodate all these people that MIL swore NEEDED to come to our wedding.

After many arguments, and MIL for months refusing to turn over mailing addresses for the people that were on the trimmed down lists, we got the invitations sent out.  Unfortunately, MIL still tried to have her way.  I found out later, from my flower girl of all people (she was an innocent party to all this) that MIL had taken her invitation, photocopied it, and sent it to all the people that DH had trimmed off the list.  OMG!!!  I was furious.

She never even told us that she had tried to invite, we estimate, over 100 additional people to our wedding and reception.  Thankfully, these extra invitees must have more manners than my MIL, because they recognized that the invitation was a fake, and didn't attend.  I'm also glad that they didn't feel obligated to send us a gift, just because crazy MIL decided to invite them.  A few sent cards congratulating us, which confirmed what the flower girl told me about the photocopies, because they wouldn't have known about the wedding otherwise.

        Signed - Found Out From The Flower Girl
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frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-JUN-12
The wedding chronicles - part 2

Along with the fights over the guest list, MIL also caused a lot of drama about the flowers.  Not the most common thing to fight over in wedding planning, but that's my MIL.  She wanted to make the bouquets out of silk flowers.  She convinced DH, who had never seen her make anything like this before, that she would do such a nice job, that it would look better than real flowers.  My parents had already offered to pay for real flowers for me, and money wasn't an issue.  You would think that it was the end of the world for MIL, that I didn't want her flowers, from the way she carried on.  After one last guilt trip filled argument with MIL, I decided that I wanted to have real flowers, and not her fake arrangements.

I am so glad I made that decision.  She convinced now ex-SIL, to go along with her fake flower idea, when she got married.  They turned out to not be made of silk, but were very cheap plastic flowers.  I was in ex-SIL's wedding party, so I got one of the fake arrangements.  The thing was hideous!  It looked like a five year old tried to put them together.  Mine actually fell apart in the middle of the ceremony, and I had to reach down to pick up the large section that fell off.

As a peace offering, since MIL seemed determined to make something for our wedding, I offered to have her help me make the centerpieces for the tables at the reception.  I am a little bit artsy-craftsy when needed, especially since we were on a tight budget for decorations.  I gathered all the materials, and set the date and time with MIL.

At the appointed time, my maid of honor and I went to MIL's house and found no one home.  MIL and FIL had vanished for the day, and didn't call me to tell me.  My MOH and I went inside.  We sat at her kitchen table all afternoon, making the centerpieces that were intended to be my peace offering, to let her help with something.  I went home with my completed decorations and told DH about his parents' disappearing act.  He was pissed that she stood me up after the fits she threw about wanting to be involved.

        Signed - Didn't Need The Help Anyway
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frequent fry her - woodlandprincess Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 16-JUN-12
The wedding chronicles - part 3

Even choosing a site for the reception was a big fight.  This issue still makes my blood boil, years later.  DH and I had booked a church for the ceremony.  In small towns like ours, preachers also have regular weekday jobs, to go along with their Sunday job.  So, we spent a lot of time playing phone tag with the preacher, about different details.

One day, the preacher left a message letting us know, since we had already booked the church for the afternoon, we could also use their back room for our reception if we wanted.  We left messages for each other back and forth about the size of the room, tables and chairs availability, parking, etc.  At one point he mentioned to us that, since it was a place of worship, alcohol wasn't allowed on the grounds.

DH and I talked about it, and it wasn't a big deal to us.  We were both underage, 19 and 20, our friends were all underage, and my family doesn't drink.  The lack of alcohol didn't bother us.  But, his family was pissed at the mere thought of not being able to get drunk at a reception.  As if the entire point of a wedding is to provide an excuse for alcohol consumption, instead of celebrating the bride and groom.

Now, over the course of several days, we found out that the church room was too small for our wedding reception (see previous story about guest list issues).  So, we booked an alternate site which was large enough, and also allowed alcohol.

While we were playing phone tag with the preacher, DH mentioned to MIL the possibility of using the church, and the booze-free requirement if the reception was held there.  She told us to our faces that she had booked an alternate site for the "real" reception, where his family and booze would be.  She said that no one in DH's family would be caught dead at a reception without alcohol.  They would all be at the "real" reception that she would host.  She told me that DH would be attending this "real" reception without me because I WASN'T INVITED.  You are reading that correctly, and I am unfortunately not exaggerating.  I, the BRIDE, was not invited to her "real" wedding reception.

Karma eventually caught up with her.  She finally realized that DH was going to be at the reception with me, the one that we booked, which allowed alcohol.  She had to cancel her reservation at the other location, and lost a booking deposit of a few hundred dollars.

        Signed - The Uninvited Bride
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frequent fry her - well I just think, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - woodlandprincess, 4of 4 needed/Posted: 30-JUN-12
My DH is big on showing respect.  This goes for at work and at home with friends and family.  One surefire way to make him mad at someone is to have them be accused of disrespect.  My ILs know this about him.  Therefore, they have accused me of disrespecting them in a number of different ways.

I wanted to make DH understand how MIL, in particular, was using this to make him dislike me.  One day I listed each accusation and the underlying behavior they blamed for my showing them disrespect.  I have been accused of disrespecting his parents by: sitting, standing, looking at them, not looking at them, talking to them (saying things such as: "Hi, how are you?"), and not talking to them.

Do you see a pattern here?  Thankfully, after that, my DH did too.

        Signed - What's A DIL To Do To Show Respect?
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