Why was I so naive???
Why didn't I put all the past things into perspective before MIL
had a chance to try and ruin my life? I should have opened
my eyes the very first time MIL LIED openly and started a fight
with my DH (we were not married yet), only to try and put all the
blame on me. My DH and I went to Texas to pick up his sister
who got kicked out of her apartment. I left my new car behind,
and MIL promised that she would only use it to take her son to work.
Well, she lied. She used it to haul GARBAGE! She got
a flat tire and tore apart the back of the car getting what she
needed to fix the tire with the spare. She left all the nuts
and bolts lying around outside. My DH was so angry when he
saw this that he yelled at her. His "lovely" sister
then started making horrible comments about me. I was sitting
in the other room thinking, "What????" So, MIL says
she is uncomfortable with me staying with her (we were waiting for
our house to be available). Our friends invited us to stay
with them. THANK GOD! I pretended that she did not exist
for about 4 months after that. If DH wanted to go to her house,
I stayed in the car! When we did get married, I decided to
use MIL's bishop, even though I do not agree with their so called
"religion". It was just a gesture to show her that
I do want us to get along and be family. MIL, and half the
family showed up almost an hour late!!! The bishop delayed
his plans in order to marry us on that particular day, and they
could not even get their lazy butts out of bed on time to be at
our 1:00 P.M wedding!!! This is typical behavior for this
family. EVERYONE should stand around waiting for them!
They have been late, or NO SHOWS, for most of the things they plan
with my DH (I was not included in most). I watched year after
year as they treated him poorly and made him sad! His sister
absolutely hates me. She is so jealous of me (her brother
and SIL told me so) she sees RED AND GREEN every time she looks
my way! My DH was invited to a "special" concert
by his sister and her boyfriend. It was "special",
because it was someone he had loved for years, and never saw in
concert before. His sister made a big deal about it being
for my DH, and that I COULD NOT ATTEND. She then invited another
of her brothers to go!? My DH came back from the concert to
tell me it was not fun for him. The reasons being - they all
sat together, and he had to sit by himself further back. If
you did this for someone and it was supposed to be special, would
you give them the worst seat possible??? He said he was so
far away he could not see a thing! They got to drink and party,
and he was alone! I made it up to him. I took him to
see this person in concert a few years later. WE WERE 10 FEET
AWAY FROM THE STAGE! He said it was the best concert of his
life!!! Now, as years went by, DH came to the conclusion that
his sister was unstable, and he could no longer deal with her insanity!
The interfering MIL, of course, tried to convince him otherwise!
She told him to stay at his sister's side because they were his
TRUE and FOREVER family! WHAT????? She even calls all
the in-laws, "OUTLAWS!" Her twisted daughter's FIRST
husband told me I would never be fully accepted, as he never was,
simply because we were not blood! The more I learned about
the way MIL taught these children, the more sickened I became.
MIL and sick SIL are not part of our lives anymore. Yes, they
may still try to contact us or start their lies about me bothering
them, but my DH knows the TRUTH at last. THEY ARE SICK, and
we can not let them try and run our lives. MIL still tries
to control her other children's marriages. Maybe this is why,
for about the 4th time, they have all moved away from her, AGAIN!
I feel badly for her younger children who are still susceptible
to her sick beliefs. I know she already has them brainwashed,
though, so there is no point in worrying about things I can not
possibly change or control. I only hope that some day others
will wake up or come forward about the creepy MIL and SIL and make
them stop hurting others. For now, I can be happy that they
are all leaving us to live our lives as we choose. Maybe someday
they will just stop the cr@p all together, and we won't have to
see the letters and emails. Not that we even open them anymore
now!
Signed - Peeks At MIL's
First Signs Of Craziness
Worst gift: It's not
so much the gifts I receive (unless you count the time I asked for
blue bath towels and got red and beige, or the time I asked for
jewel toned kitchen towels and got forest green and maroon).
It's the fact that she doesn't even know how to spell my name after
6 years. This past Christmas I received three gifts with my
name spelled differently on each gift tag. Talk about moronic.
And hubby is too "shy" to get involved. Oh, well!
Signed - Frustrated
RESPONSE: Frustrated
Hubby's too "shy" to get involved? He IS involved!
You'd not be going through any of this if it weren't for him.
None of us would have these people (IL's) in our lives if it weren't
for our spouses. It is funny how the word "spineless"
keeps appearing in many of these postings regarding cowering, cowardly
sons.
RESPONSE: Frustrated
That is just outright insulting. Your MIL is either very stupid,
or the queen of passive-aggressive behavior. It's too bad
your DH is "too shy" to speak up for his wife. He
really needs to grow a spine. Ask him how he would feel if
your mother pulled that kind of cr@p. I'm sure he'd expect
you to say something!
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Psycho FMIL 2 of 4 /Posted: 29-JAN-02
I posted a long time ago (MIL=
the boss of you from 2/24/01) about my FMIL and her extremely
horrible behavior. Well, I am happy to have an update to add
after a year of feeling nothing but animosity towards this woman.
After my boyfriend paid a visit to his elderly, sick grandparents
and their caretaker (his aunt and my FMIL's sister), he had some
wonderfully validating, albeit sad, news for me. I am not
the only person that this woman has treated horribly. And,
the majority of her immediate family wants nothing to do with her,
and feels that she needs serious psychiatric help. She has,
for the last 3 years, been living in a world of grand delusions,
behaving in peculiar ways, and lying (not only to her family, but
also to herself). A few examples of her erratic behavior:
A little background: FMIL has been feuding on and off with
her younger sister "C". C and her family have been
taking care of their elderly, sick parents (Nanny & Papa - who
have been hospitalized on and off since September for emphysema
and heart problems). C and her family had planned to host
Xmas of 2001 because of their Nanny and Papa's illness. So,
when FMIL's plans for Xmas fell through, she called her sick mother
and proceeded to tell Nanny how selfish she was for not hosting
Xmas at her house, and for not cooking Xmas dinner herself.
When FMIL's sick father BEGGED his two youngest daughters to repair
their relationship, they grudgingly agreed to meet for lunch.
That is when FMIL told C that she thought her Nanny and Papa paid
too much attention to C's family, citing the fact that one of C's
children had a gate-access sticker for Nanny and Papa's residential
community. FMIL then proceeded to yell at her sister for two
hours during their "make-up lunch" about how much she
didn't like her (never did), and how she didn't like C's husband
or children, either. When C finally left, she wrote FMIL a
letter explaining why she had issues with her. FMIL went to
Nanny and Papa's house in a rage, and accused Nanny of writing the
letter! FMIL has told her other 3 sisters (who do not live
near Nanny and Papa) that she visits them regularly to check on
them, when, in fact, she was asked to leave and never come back
by Papa. During that incident, she returned two hours later
acting as though nothing had happened. If you read my post
from last year, you will see the letter that I sent her telling
her what a horrible human being I think she is. I found out
from FDH that she brought my letter to a psychiatrist Why?
I can not fathom. As a final insult, we (my FDH and I) received
a wedding invitation recently from his cousin (one of FMIL's sister's
kids) addressed only to FDH, no "Guest", or acknowledgment
of me. We have been together for nearly 4 years now.
When talking to his aunt (mother of the groom), he found out that
FMIL called and specifically told her to address the invitation
to FDH ONLY. Knowing nothing of me (because of limited contact
to FDH,), she addressed the invitation as asked. She was also
told that FDH was single and was asked to set up a bridesmaid as
his date for the wedding!! Well, it is clear to me now that
this woman is not only a manipulative, conniving b!tch, but also
is in serious need of help. It is a pity that she will continue
to lose those close to her, but I must admit that it feels a little
good to know that, too. Am I horrible?
RESPONSE: Sad Or Glad?
Is your MIL my MIL's sister??? My MIL is such a creepy, evil,
pathological lying b!tch that her own kids talk badly about her
(ONLY BEHIND HER BACK, THOUGH!). They were taught well to
be two faced!
RESPONSE: Sad Or Glad?
I don't think you are horrible at all. It's nice to feel some
vindication, I'm sure! Your MIL sounds like a real MIL from
he!!. Good luck in dealing with her. My advice would
be to avoid her at all costs!
One fine, sunny day, while
walking in the park near my home, I saw my MIL's car parked on the
side of the path that runs alongside a very lovely stream in a somewhat
wooded area. The path is always teaming with lunchtime walkers,
bikers, and runners, not to mention retired persons and school children.
What brought the car to my attention, and to the attention of anybody
within a mile radius, is that it was sort of rocking and bouncing.
People who were on the path crossed to the other side, or stopped
dead and went the other way. I had to look twice to make sure
that the car was indeed my MIL's. Not knowing quite what to
do, but knowing that I didn't want to be involved, I decided to
walk the other way. As I was turning around, I saw my MIL
sit up in the back seat. There was a split second of recognition
between us. Then I saw a man sit up in the back seat.
It was not my FIL. I turned and walked back to my car as fast
as I could. My MIL called me that night and begged to see
me in private. She told me that she had been "fooling
around" on my FIL for years, and it was OK. She said
that I didn't need to say anything because she was going to tell
him (my FIL) that she was leaving him. She did tell him.
She called my FIL from the west coast (we were living in the east
at the time) and told him that she was leaving him and their two
young boys as soon as she arrived home from her business trip.
Side Note: My MIL thinks of herself as a businesswoman, and
likes to use phrases such as "business trip", thinking
it impresses people. During this same conversation, she told
me that she didn't want anything to do with my DH, our DS, or myself.
I was like *poof* - wish granted. NOTE: We (FIL, BIL,
BIL, DH, and myself) were all very hurt and surprised at her actions.
During the time she was MIA, she did not call us once. She
did not have, or request, any contact with our DS (only grandchild).
It was as if she had fallen from the face of the earth. EPILOG:
A year later I saw the "car jockey" in the park "parking"
with some other woman (I really need to stop going to that park).
By then, the "car jockey" had taken everything from my
MIL (including her house, her 401K Plan, and what we now refer to
as the "noon-er car"). He was also a major factor
in causing her to lose her job. My MIL, who is now living
with another guy out of state, has requested to spend extended time
with our DS. I, of course, said "No". Too
bad this genie can only grant one wish per MIL.
Signed - In The Wrong
Park
RESPONSE: In The Wrong Park
This has got to be a first on this site. I am glad she is
out of your life.
RESPONSE: In The Wrong Park
Yikes! Your MIL sounds like a selfish, immoral piece of work.
I feel badly for all the hurt she caused DH, you, your child, and
the other members of the family. How could she do that?
You are all better off without someone who is that self-absorbed.
But, I'm sure it still hurts. Take care. Your DH is
lucky to have you to support him.
RESPONSE: In The Wrong Park
HA, HA, HA. She really messed up -she would have had nothing
to do with any of you had things gone her way, but now she wants
to "spend time" with one and all. My grandmother
was like that. She conducted her life like a whore.
Then, when things didn't work out, she suddenly "needed"
family. My mom, her daughter, let her back in - and she (my
grandmother) managed to ruin all our lives, one by one. It's
true what they say about rotten apples spoiling the bunch.
Stick to your guns and KEEP HER OUT of your lives, no matter how
much "sentimentality" gets the better of everyone from
time to time, as it will!
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