Worst gift: There is
a long story that preempts the gift my MIL gave me for my shower,
but that falls under another category, so I'll just stick to the
gift. My DH and I have been married for 4 1/2 months.
For my bridal shower gift (which she declined to attend by marking
my mother's invitation "return to sender"), my overweight,
mustache bearing MIL gave me a very skimpy, lacy, bright purple
nightie. EWWWWWWW! What was she thinking about when
she made this purchase? "Oh! Wouldn't my DS love
this?!?!" Over the years she has inundated me with clothing
gifts that I would never wear. She only lives a mile away,
and sees me often enough to know what my tastes are. But,
she continually buys clothes that are too large and meant for a
50 something year old (I'm 28 and a size 6). She also knows
that I like sunflowers. So, she always manages to find the
biggest, tackiest sunflower item she can find. I don't like
sunflowers anymore.
Signed - DIL Of The Beast
RESPONSE: DIL Of The Beast
What was that thing about marking your mother's invitation "Return
to Sender"? What's with that?! Sorry, but she might
really be trying to be sweet with the clothes she gives you - it
is so hard to get things people like. She might really be
trying, but might just not have the best taste.
RESPONSE: DIL Of The Beast
You shouldn't have been offended by the gift. You shouldn't
have even seen the gift in the first place. The proper thing
to do would have been to stamp the box "Return To Sender",
and mail it right back to your idiotic MIL. Do that with any
gift your MIL sends you or your children in the future. Signature:
Best Defense is a Good Offense.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - The Official
Outlaw /Posted: 30-JAN-02
The 1st time my MIL called me was after we had been
married for 11 months. I, obviously, did not answer the phone
because it was her number, and I figured she just wanted to talk
to her son, like usual. She left a message saying, "Just
wanted to say hello." It was specifically to me.
So immediately I called my husband at work, and, surely enough,
he had asked his mother to call me, because he wanted us to become
friends. I think she did it just for him, not really to make
friends with me. It has been another 6 months since then,
and she hasn't tried to talk to me. When we visit her, she
doesn't even talk to me. She never even asks me how my job,
or anything, is going. She just pays attention to DH, like
he is God. I just don't get it. I would love to tell
her exactly what I think of her, but my DH will get mad. He
doesn't like controversy. Also, if I tell her anything, she
will go crying to my DH, saying how mean I was to her, and he will
be mad at me. I'm in a no win situation. Any ideas?
RESPONSE: No Win Situation!
I know! When we visit my in-laws, they treat my DH like the
honored guest, and they have me wait on him, literally. "Would
you like some ice cream, DS? Would you like DIL to bring it
to you?" It must be some kind of blind spot. I
wonder if when my brother and SIL come to visit, I treat my brother
like the honored guest and overlook my SIL. It definitely
isn't deliberate, but I'm going to try to be aware of this and make
sure she gets the "honored guest" treatment!
I have read some of the
stories that were posted, and I'm probably one of the few who actually
has a great relationship with my MIL and FIL. I love them
both, and I love my DH's family. They treat me like I am one
of them. My ILs live next door to us, and it's wonderful.
DH and I have been married for 16 years and have a great relationship
with the whole family. If my DH ever stepped out of line on
me, I know that my MIL would beat his @ss. I have a close
relationship with my MIL. We garden together, go to flea markets
and yard sales together, and shop together. We have 2 children,
and they adore their grandparents. I am really blessed to
have them. I am truly sorry for all of you DILs out there
that do not have this. DH has 1 sister and 2 brothers.
All are married with kids. They are very special to me, especially
my DH's sister. We are just like blood sisters. I hope
this will let all of you know that not all MILs are bad.
Signed - I Have In-Laws,
Not Out-Laws
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
Well, aren't we all just so happy for you.
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
Well, you are very lucky then. And, let us all hope this continues.
I was married for seven years; it was my second marriage.
Self-satisfied, I used to practically gloat over the fact that I
was SO lucky to have such a wonderful MIL, particularly when I heard
horrible MIL stories from friends. She and I would enjoy so
many things together. We shared stories, had DIL/MIL lunch
dates, etc. It was like living in Pleasantville. Whenever
I heard anyone complain about their MIL or IL's, I'd sit back and
think about how THANKFUL I was! Then, one day, I discovered
that my DH was dealing drugs. I tried to enlist her help (she
refused to even believe it!). And, finally, I took our small
son and moved FAR away. And, that's when her true colors came
out - or should I say, seeped out, little by little. Today,
several years down the road, I have NOTHING to do with her, and
neither does my son (her grandson). I won't go into detail
about what she pulled (and, actually, was up to all during my marriage
to her son - who predictably died btw - somehow she managed to blame
that on ME, but thank God we were thousands of miles away!!), but,
suffice it to say that I am still reeling at how naive I was at
not perceiving this woman's hypocrisy. Sixteen years and no
problems? I think you've made it to home base, and wish you
all the best!
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
Well, hooey for you. Are you trying to rub it in? That
is not very nice, in my opinion, although I do congratulate you
for having decent ILs. You're one of the lucky few on this
board. But, can you understand and respect our pain, instead
of saying, "Nan-nani, look how great I have it, and you don't!"???
And, by the way, of COURSE all MILs aren't bad - did anyone ever
SAY that on this board? The majority of us just happen to
have awful ones. But, no one here believes that EVERY single
MIL in the world is bad. We'd have to be a real dumb pack
to believe that, and trust me, we're not!
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
I don't get it. Are you bragging or complaining?
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
It's so nice to hear a story like that once in a while! I
know other people who have nice ILs. It's good to know that
they ARE out there somewhere, and aren't mythical creatures!
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
I'm sure your intentions are good, but they are misguided.
People here are well aware that not all MILs are bad. They
simply wish to vent because their own MILs are bad. This site
provides that release. Having someone who breezes in to tell
them that THEY have a nice MIL is unhelpful and frustrating.
And, to be honest, it looks like you are boasting. Why not
use your good fortune to help some of the posters instead of just
stating, "Well, I'M all right?" As I bet some posters
will say, when they read your message - bully for you.
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
You are very lucky that you have great in-laws. Count your
blessings. I realize that not ALL MILs are bad, but there
are certainly enough bad ones out there - otherwise there would
not be a reason for this web site to exist!! Ever since I
was a little girl and started hearing MIL jokes and stories, I hoped
that I would get a good MIL someday. And, that became a goal
of mine. Unfortunately, I got a GREAT husband, but and LOUSY,
pathetic in-laws. I try to tell myself that it is better that
I got lousy in-laws and a great hubby, rather than great in-laws
and a lousy hubby, in order to make myself feel better. Unfortunately,
I know there are women out there who are lucky enough to have BOTH!!!
I definitely will plan things differently in my next life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RESPONSE: I Have In-laws, Not Outlaws
That's great - maybe it will give some of us hope. There must
be other relationships like yours out there. I can imagine
it! I don't know if I can ever have it myself, not that mine
is so awful, but it really would be a blessing. Congratulations!
I thought I had an ok
MIL until after the wedding, and then all he!! broke loose.
It got even worse after my son was born. My son is now 2,
and it's been over a year and 1/2 since my MIL has seen my son.
We live only an hour away from her, and she insists that we have
to bring him up to her all the time. She doesn't have time
to come visit us. She and FIL make more than us. We
are barely getting by the way it is. We are supposed to come
up there all the time. So we stopped going for more reasons
than just that. But she has made no effort to come see our
son. She's got 3 other grandsons from her favorite son (the
one who went to college - he only lives a block from her).
So, we are on the sh*t list because we moved away from dear old
momzy. And, she takes it out on a 2 year old. But, this
gets better! We never told her that she couldn't come to see
our son, until June of this year when she called my son to tell
him that we either start bringing our son up to see her, or she
is going to fight for custody of him under the "grandparent's
law". And, she said that we might as well save ourselves
the time and money now, and give into her demands, before she take
us to court for custody of our son. Remember, -she has made
no effort to see DS for the last 1 1/2 years. Not on holidays
or birthdays! And, this actually was the tip of the iceberg
that I have gone through with her and her other college son and
DIL. I'd be happy to share the rest of the story later.
I just really can't get over the fact of my MIL attempting to take
custody of a grandson that she hasn't seen for so long.
Signed - Child Custody????
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
I'm sorry, but I burst out laughing at her "Grandparents Rights"
claim!! Another MIL threatening legal action without a foot
to stand on! Please, go to the message boards. Leahg
has posted a reply to those IN-LAWS which includes sites to look
at on the Internet to show that your MIL will get her "Grandparents
Rights" when Satan sells snow cones in He!! On top of
that - if there even were "Grandparents Rights" that covered
your situation (the big thing about rights started when one parent
died), your MIL has lost the case for herself already with her lack
of interest for 1 1/2 years. C'mon over to the boards.
You have a winner of a MIL there, and we'd love to hear more!
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
Your MIL is completely delusional!!! Under what grounds is
she going to file for grandparent's rights?? Oh, wait, I know,
the old, "they won't do what I want them to" defense!!!
Although I am sure you know this, but she doesn't have a leg to
stand on about this matter. If you want my opinion, you need
to research grandparent's rights. Obviously, you have the
internet - a vast well of information. The next time she pulls
this cr@p, hit her with what you learned. That should take
the air out of her sail!!! Or, you could just tell her to
do what she feels she must. Let her waste her $ and time to
find out that she has no rights!!! Good Luck!!!
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
Go to a lawyer now and ask for advice. There are a lot of
legal aid societies around. Keep a written record of every
time they have seen your son. Write a diary depicting all
of their behavior, with times and dates (as close as possible).
Keep a record of the threats and the financial reasons (as well
as the personal ones) that have caused you not to have had contact
with them. I know that this sounds tricky, but record her
telephone conversations. Their threat of "Grandparents'
Rights" is full of it. Many courts are throwing this
out. I would even go to a therapist a few times with DH to
learn how do deal with them. This would also help if they
ever did try to take you to court to prove that you are "incompetent".
This would give you proof that both you and DH were sane, and you
could take care of your child. Also, the G's rights bill is
for visitation, not custody. For real advise, go to:
http://parentsrights.com.
They will help you with this matter. You might want to join
the message board here. That could help you a lot.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
What "Grandparents' Law"? MIL is going to have a
long, hard battle if she is willing to go down that road.
The US Supreme Court is on your side. There were cases in
Florida and Washington State where the grandparents sued for visitation.
And, in both cases, the ILs lost. If you lived in Oregon,
I guess I'd worry. After a friend of mine died, her boyfriend
sued her kid's dad for visitation, and WON. That is wrong
on sooooo many levels. Think of what could have taken place
if it was the grandparents. Still, I think the law is on your
side.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
As a former legal secretary, I will just say that I don't think
you have to worry about it. Naturally, every state is different,
but my ex-MIL pulled that sh!t and I called her on her threats.
If she hasn't seen your DS and hasn't had any real impact on his
life to where his not seeing her would cause issues for him, then
she doesn't have a leg to stand on. For example, my mother
baby-sat my kids for 4 years after my divorce. My ex-DH and
I get along fine, but he lives out of state, and has severed all
contact with his mother anyway. If I were to suddenly tell
my own mother that after she has been an important part of the upbringing
and mental welfare of my children that she no longer can see them,
then, yes, she could sue me and she would probably win. Your
MIL, on the other hand, has made no effort to see your DS.
She could drive to see him, as opposed to demanding you bring him
to her. Tell your MIL that you will see her in court.
You should contact an attorney's office and schedule a consultation.
Most reputable attorneys will do an initial FREE consultation.
Do not let this woman brow beat you into thinking that you must
give in to her ridiculous demands. She has chosen this path,
so tell her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
I had just responded and wanted to add this: DailyNews
article. Go there - it says that the Supreme Court
overthrew the "grandparent's law" declaring it unconstitutional.
If you do a search under grandparent's law, you'll see that it has
been overruled in a whole lot of states, which, at the very least,
sets precedent for new cases coming up
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
Call Legal Services, as they give free legal services to those in
need. Tell them your story. And, then, decide the proper
recourse. I would also call her. Record the conversation
(you can buy a recorder that's cheap that attaches to the phone)
where you say that she is more than welcome to come visit, but you
cannot afford to keep going up there.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
What a loon! If she did attempt it, I'm sure she'd be laughed
out of court.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
What "Grandparent Law"??? The only rights grandparents
have are if there is substantial proof that there is abuse from
the parents to the child. Evidently, that is NOT going on.
So, her case is going to be laughed right out of court. I
would put a restraining order on this woman fast, if I were you.
Who does she think she is? She is the one who is choosing
not to come to you to see her grandchild. That is her problem.
She has no case, and nothing to back her up. Laugh at her,
and smile when the restraining order is given to her. Good
luck. She sounds like a she-beast. She has no rights
as a grandparent, and no rights as a human, if she is going to act
that way.
RESPONSE: Child Custody????
Wow, I hate your MIL! How awful she is. Well, if she
does take you to court, you just tell them what you told us.
I doubt she'll get very far. What a jerk! You sure have
my sympathy.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page about one week later (one set of responses
posted per day). Stories and responses will no longer move from
page to page based on status.
Worst Gift Stories
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
