Worst gift: Okay, here
is a MIL from the dark side story. For Christmas 2001, my
MIL gave me a rather unique gift. When we were sitting at
her house opening the presents, she handled me mine. It was
in a medium sized box that was wrapped in cartoon paper from the
Sunday comics. I opened the box, and was in total shock and
amazement. My MIL had given me a picture in a silver picture
frame. "Not too bad" you are thinking, right?
Well, guess again. The picture was of my husband and his first
wife on their wedding day. I was just about in tears when
I looked up and saw her sitting there with a "cat that ate
the canary" grin on her face. I didn't know what to say
or do, so I wrapped it back in the funny paper and pushed it to
the side. I looked at her again and asked her why THAT as
a gift. She laughed and explained that she needed me to know
that the ex was still her DIL. I got up, put my coat on, and
my husband and I left. We have not been back to see her since.
And, when she calls (got to love caller ID ), I do not answer the
phone.
Signed - The Other Daughter-In-Law
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
That is incredibly awful and inappropriate. Truth is stranger
than fiction!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
Oh, Hon - how awful!! I just hurt inside when I read about
your MIL's absolute cruelty. You and your DH handled it very
well. I take it that DH was upset at what his mother pulled.
Maybe he should have told her off, but at least he walked out with
you. And, you not going to see her since she pulled her nasty
and uncalled-for stunt is just what she needs and deserves.
Why not consider coming over to the spam-free MIL boards?
You surely have a horrible MIL!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
Unbelievable! I am so mad for you! What kind of decent
person would do that? Well, since your MIL isn't decent, and
is a horrible human being, I guess we can't ask that question.
I would not allow her back into your house, nor would I go to her
house until she apologizes with sincerity. Since most MILs
do not know how to apologize with grace (I know mine doesn't), then
you will have a nice break from your in-laws. What does your
DH say about this? My FDH has been married before, also.
If my FMIL did something like that, I would never speak to her again.
Good luck. Keep your ground about this, and don't back off
until she is sincere in her apologies.
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
You poor thing! Your MIL is truly 100% evil to do something
like that. I'm glad that you and your DH walked out on her.
She has made it loud and clear what her feelings are. Giving
her the cold shoulder is what she deserves. Thank goodness
for caller id!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
Okay, my husband and I have read nearly every Worst Gift story on
this Board (the archives are therapeutic) and we both agree that
this is the WORST gift ever. At least your husband didn't
sit there, or expect you to sit there, but there is nothing that
can excuse her maliciousness. I can't imagine the hurt and
pain that she inflicted on you. I hope your DH has agreed
that holidays are not an option anymore. You should not set
yourself up for more abuse - and, he shouldn't expect you to.
If you must see her again, do it on your own turf, with your friends
and family around you. Good Luck.
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
What a Witch! I would have been so tempted to smack or maybe
punch that grin off her face. If I were you, I would never
speak to her again, or have any contact. Since she doesn't
consider you to be her DIL, what does it matter? By the way,
there is a lovely feature on the phone that allows you to completely
block calls from coming through. Block hers!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
God Bless you. After reading that, I would not talk to her
again. Next Christmas, I would not open her presents or even
buy her a thing. That is the ultimate in insane behavior,
if you ask me. That story infuriates me. Remember, you
are a great person, and she is the one with the problems - huge
problems. She has to live with the thought that she did that
to you, and, someday, she'll have to answer for it. What comes
around, goes around. Keep your chin up!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
What a b!tch your MIL is!! It sounds like your DH was supportive
of you. It totally serves your MIL right that you are not
talking to her now. DO NOT give in - otherwise she will "win"
and will not stop her antics!! She has a lot of nerve!!!
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
That is sick and evil. My heart goes out to you. I think
you handled it very well. For me, there would be no going
back. That would have to be the very end of that relationship,
for good. No one deserves to be treated like that. That
makes my MIL look like a saint.
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
I would have thrown it right at her head and said, "I see why
you wrapped it in the comics - real funny, b*tch!!"
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
That is the worst thing I've ever heard. You have every right
never to speak to her again. I hope your husband stands next
to you on this one, forever.
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
HOLY COW! I think that's the worst gift I'd ever heard of.
It takes the cake. Good thing you left. Don't go back.
RESPONSE: The Other Daughter-in-law
What an evil witch!!!!! I am glad your DH left with you.
That is just the most ugly thing I can imagine a MIL ever doing!
Kiss the b!tch good-bye, and don't even give her a second thought!
Worst gift: Both my
MIL and SIL are slightly nuts, but that's a different story.
I don't know how my hubby turned out so wonderfully. Anyway,
for Christmas, he always buys lots of presents for his sister and
BIL, and totally spoils his nieces. What did he get last year
from them? A CD. But not just any CD! You see,
hubby has been looking for a certain version of his (very hard to
find) favorite song from when he was younger. So, his sister
burned the song onto a CD. Yes, a CD with one song on it.
And, guess what? It wasn't even the right song! My bad
gift was from his mother. Hubby is 41 and I'm 28. It's
a pretty big age gap, but it doesn't bother us one bit. So,
what did dear old MIL get me? All in one box, I got:
Crayons, markers, a pad of colored construction paper, and a pad
of tracing paper. All were from the dollar store. And,
the funny thing is that she likes me!
Signed - Can't Figure
Them Out For The Life of Me!
RESPONSE: Can't Figure Them Out For The Life of Me!
I think a crayoned Thank-You card is in order. And, I hope
she never gets to the point where she doesn't like you.
RESPONSE: Can't Figure Them Out For
The Life of Me!
Are you sure she likes you?? The gift appears to be saying
something about your age.
RESPONSE: Can't Figure Them Out For
The Life of Me!
Well, it's great that she likes you, anyway. Maybe they're
just gift-giving impaired. Some people are incredibly lousy
at giving gifts. If they're nice in other ways, that's great!
The only bad thing is when people are actually trying to be mean
when they give gifts. If you don't sense that, you're probably
ok! Maybe your MIL thought you might like to do some creative
stuff, but didn't have a clue!!
RESPONSE: Can't Figure Them Out For
The Life of Me!
I think you are wrong in assuming she likes you. The way I
understand it, her gift was meant to tell you that you are a kid
and her son is mature. Why don't you return gift her with
artificial teeth (to subtly tell her that she is old).
This is the second time
that I have written in about my MIL. I mostly need a little
advice on how to be more assertive with her. The latest thing
MIL has done was to kick SIL out. So, SIL came running to
my DH. He and I let her move into our one bedroom apartment.
She was kicked out for a really stupid reason. So, when we
decided to take her in, MIL gave us cr@p, and told us not to (even
though she knew that SIL would go to her brother - isn't that what
siblings are for?). So, SIL lived with us for free for a month,
even though we are struggling financially. That month was
he!!, because nosey MIL was calling every week wanting to know what
SIL was up to. But, she didn't want to talk to her, she wanted
us to tell her. During this time, she also still brought up
her objection that we shouldn't have helped SIL out, even though
she had nowhere else to go. Then, MIL said that we should
have encouraged SIL to apologize and work things out with them (so,
in a sense, she laid a guilt trip on us, even though we took her
daughter in, put a roof over her head, and fed her!). Well,
SIL is now gone and on her own, but things between my husband and
I and MIL have gone sour. During her stay, SIL informed us
about things MIL had said about us (me in particular). Apparently,
MIL had been saying that I was using her son, and that our marriage
wasn't going to last. Of course, I got mad, because I had
been nothing but nice to MIL, and I thought she liked me too.
Well, she also had been badmouthing my DH about how he dropped out
of college, and is such a disappointment to everyone because he
became an electrician. When we first called my MIL on all
this badmouthing, she totally denied it, and said that she adored
me. But, a day later, we talked to SIL, and she said MIL got
mad at her for spilling this info to us. SO, we called MIL
AGAIN, and she made up some BS explanation to cover herself.
And, then she played the victim, and told my DH that she was going
to just disappear and leave everyone behind, because she is so stressed!
I am at my wits end! I am not an assertive person AT ALL,
but I feel that, after she stabbed me in the back, I shouldn't give
her anymore special treatment. Fortunately, my DH is behind
me 100%. He's very angry and annoyed at her. She is
impossible to talk to or work things out with. Should we just
create some distance from her and stay in touch with FIL and SIL?
I would appreciate some advice!!!!
Signed - I Thought My
Mother-In-Law Liked Me
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law Liked Me
KICK HER TO THE CURB! I'd be a little cautious about the SIL
who spills the beans, also!
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law
Liked Me
You sound like a sweetheart, and you must be deeply hurt to hear
that very unkind thing your MIL said about you. I would be
devastated by that. And, no doubt, my MIL HAS said something
like that about me, too, even though she acts like she likes me
(at least sometimes!). I think, yes, keep being kind and polite
to her, but definitely distance yourself. Don't be petty and
make it obvious that you're avoiding her and that you prefer your
FIL. Be the bigger person, but, by all means, don't spend
any more time with her than you have to. You clearly can't
trust her. But, you sound lovely, and if you just treat her
with a kind of distant kindness and compassion, it might be a tolerable
situation. It is great that you have so much love for your
SIL! Your MIL WOULD like you, if she had any heart at all!
I like you just from reading your post!
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law
Liked Me
Don't forget, your SIL may have been lying to get revenge on her
mother for throwing her out. Ignore it. Whoever said
it - they sound a right pair between them - and, keep smiling politely
whilst keeping your distance.
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law
Liked Me
My advice is to ignore everything your SIL told you. She was
angry at her mother, and probably put the worst possible spin on
whatever your MIL might have said in the past. And, you can
bet, too, that when SIL and MIL make up, SIL will repeat anything
you've said to your MIL. And, if she happens to be angry at
you or DH at the time, she'll put the worst spin on it, too.
Think about it. Why would your SIL tell you things she KNOWS
will hurt your feelings and cause ill will between you, your husband,
and her mother? She just wanted you on her side. We've
all said things in the privacy of our own homes, or when we're annoyed,
that we probably don't mean (or, just said in the heat of the moment).
Plus, you know how rumors or bad things get bigger and badder when
they're repeated. Forget it, and just continue your relationship
with your MIL as if your SIL had never said a peep. And, the
next time SIL wants to tell you hurtful things, tell her pointedly
that you don't want to hear it.
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law
Liked Me
Tell MIL to have nice trip.
RESPONSE: I Thought My Mother-In-Law
Liked Me
First of all, you are hearing that your MIL badmouthed you from
your SIL, who'd had a fight or something with her mother.
Did you think, maybe, SIL said those things to get you on her side?
Maybe MIL never said anything, and she is truly hurt. Did
you encourage SIL to make up with MIL? These weren't unreasonable
acts that your MIL did. I'm sure there is more to the story,
but you have to wonder. As for her dramatics, let it go.
They always play the martyr.
If my MIL wants someone
to be hated, they will be! Most of her children seem to know
that she is unstable and lies a lot. However, they let her
get away with trying to harm others at the same time! She
hates her EX so much that she told some of her children that he
raped her. She tells stories about her own children to the
in-laws, and some of them are sick, sick stories. Some of
them are sick, sick true stories - eeww! She tells about how
her one daughter is emotionally challenged with men. She tells
how another daughter is the most beautiful and sweet girl in the
world. Another of her daughters is extra special and perfect
one day, and the biggest b!tch the very next. Is my MIL suffering
from a split personality, or is she just Satan in a very bad disguise?
She used to tell me horrid stories about my DH, her oldest son!
One day, he was her most beloved, perfect son (no lying), and the
next, he was some sicko that I had better learn to control?!
You would be sickened to hear the things she has been caught telling
others about me and some of her other children's significant others!
We bare the worst of her disease as we were not born of her blood!
I am the "only" one to stand up to her and cut her apron
strings! I am the most hated person in the family. She
turned several others against me with her lies. I only wish
I could go to each and every family member with proof of her lies
and stories so that all could see the real sicko here. I hate
to not be able to stick up for myself and some of the others whom
she has wronged! I am just going to have to stay out of the
family. I hope that someday she and her horrid daughter will
die, and the others will come around. I know that once the
true trouble makers are gone, it will be very easy for the family
to see who caused all the problems in the family all along!!!
Signed - MIL With Split
Pea Brain?!
RESPONSE: MIL With Split Pea Brain?!
My guess would be that your MIL is maybe an ugly, overweight pig
who hates herself and her life. So, maybe she feels better
talking badly about the rest of you. Or, she could just be
nuts too!
RESPONSE: MIL With Split Pea Brain?!
Your description of your MIL's behavior strongly suggests that she
might have been emotionally, and probably sexually, abused.
I'm sensing a deep distrust and dislike of men in general.
I had a friend whose mother behaved toward him in a similar fashion
- adored him one minute and tormented him the next. He finally
learned that she had been molested by her uncle. She was unable
to have children, so she and my friend's father adopted a girl.
His dad insisted on adopting a boy as well, even though his mother
didn't want one. You can just imagine what a terrible idea
that was. She was a pillar of the community, so no one suspected
a thing. And, she never received therapy. If your MIL
won't go for therapy, I hope you will urge your DH to do so.
Yes, your MIL's behavior is unacceptable, and even disgusting, but
there is probably a valid reason for it. She needs help, even
though it is unlikely she will ever admit it. Have some compassion
for her - but at a safe distance.
RESPONSE: MIL With Split Pea Brain?!
Did I hear that there's a book out there called Toxic
In-Laws? It sure sounds like she is one of them.
It is so poisonous when someone is always spreading lies about other
people (and, I do think there is a particularly nasty form of mental
illness involved). There's a saying that, "If someone
throws enough mud, some of it will stick." It's so unfair,
but it does seem that if a hateful person spreads enough lies about
others, it's like a bad apple spoiling the whole bunch. Reasonable
people get sucked into believing some of it, and it poisons relationships.
The one thing you can do, and it might seem lonely at times, is
to just be the reasonable person, and refuse to listen to, or believe,
anything she says about anyone else. And, avoid her as much
as you can! The closer you are to someone like that, the more
trouble she'll cause you. I really feel badly for you that
your life is poisoned by such a person. They can do so much
harm! The only consolation is that nobody can stand them.
I bet nobody really adores HER!
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