Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Psycho FMIL 3 of 4 /Posted: 9-FEB-02
What in the world should I do when it comes
time for a wedding? We've already decided that SHE won't be
invited, but that will leave a noticeably large hole in the ceremony.
His biological father is deceased, and, unfortunately, SHE is the
only family FDH has left. Any advice? How do I explain
her absence to guests? We WILL NOT elope!
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
I know a couple who faced the same situation - FMIL was not invited
to their wedding a few years ago. However, the FFIL was living
and present at the wedding. Truly, I don't think any explaining
will have to be done. If she's that bad, then everybody already
knows how she is. And, the people who love you will support
your decision. The couple we know let a FEW key people (very
close relatives and friends) know (in a nutshell) that FMIL had
been a very bad girl, and wouldn't be allowed at the wedding.
The key people made it easy on the couple, and kind of got the word
out so that nobody would dare ask about it on the wedding day.
They had a wonderful wedding day, and all turned out well.
Hope this helps.
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
Why do you feel the need to say anything? There is a very
good chance that no one is going ask about MIL. Should anyone
ask, just smile and say, "I don't know where she is."
You don't need to provide any more info.
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
I know you have made a difficult decision. However, there
is a REASON you made it. Stay strong. Remember that
your wedding day is YOUR day. Don't worry about what people
think. Godzilla won't be at your wedding either, right?
So, maybe no one will really even notice. Have a wonderful
day, and I wish you the best of luck. Keep your chin up, and
be proud of YOUR decision.
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
Why explain? Your guests will figure that, either she disapproves
for her own odd reasons, she doesn't care enough about your FDH
to come to the wedding, or that you chose not to invite her because
you only wanted people at your wedding who were supportive of your
marriage. At any rate, cutting her out of the wedding was
a good start. Now comes the hard part - cutting her out of
your lives to the extent that you feel comfortable with. Good
luck - keep us informed!
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
GOOD FOR YOU! Those close to you probably know the situation
with your MIL. And, more than likely, they won't ask.
If they do, be honest. It's not like it's your fault that
she's nuts. For those who aren't so close, and who might wonder,
don't worry. If they knew, they'd understand. And, they
probably won't care if she's missing. This is YOUR day, after
all!
RESPONSE: Psycho FMIL
Don't (explain her absence to guests). They probably won't
ask, and, anyway, if they do, simply say with a smile, "She
wasn't invited." Trust me - they'll understand.
My ex fiancé and
I decided to celebrate our engagement at a nice restaurant with
40 of our closest relatives and friends. Everything was going
well until we decided to exchange our wedding bands. In our
culture there is no engagement ring. What happens is that
you exchange wedding bands after someone crosses them over an icon
to symbolize that you intend to be wed by the church. My ex
and I agreed that my brother would cross the rings over the icon.
As soon as he went to do this, my ex-future-MIL threw a fit because
we weren't using one of her relatives. She told me that I
was an embarrassment to her family, that I wasn't good enough for
her son, and that I should be ashamed of myself. She said
that if things continued like this, there wouldn't be a wedding.
All of this took place in front of my parents. My ex was shocked,
but he couldn't say anything to her - he did not even tell her to
be quiet. She never apologized for that episode, although
her husband did. I told them that if they ever said anything
like that again, I would never speak to them again. I didn't,
and they got to keep their son.
Signed - Got Out In Time
RESPONSE: Got Out In Time
Good for you!!!!!
My (future) mother in
law is batty! The first time she met me (when my fiancé
was out of the room), she asked me why I had bags under my eyes!
I should have said, "It is because your son and I were out
all night partying," (she is very religious). This woman
was horrible from the word go!
Signed - Bags Under My
Eyes?!
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
How about, "Your son doesn't let me sleep when we are together,"?
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
She sounds exactly like my MIL. She's very clever - she usually
waits until my husband leaves the room to put me down. If
I get upset, her usual answer is, "You're too sensitive."
And, she tells everyone else that, too. But, she never actually
tells them what she says to me. Of course my husband won't
stick up for me. His mommy comes first!!!
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
Your MIL is downright tacky! Why would someone say such a
thing to their son's future wife? That's funny - what you
said you should have responded with. I thought of something
even funnier. You should have said, "I was up late, getting
busy with your son. He has a lot of energy!" (LOL)
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
My MIL did something similar to me, once. She looked at me,
and said, "Have you gained weight?" I looked at
her and said, "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same
thing."
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
Bags under your eyes? If she ever asks you that again, just
tell her that it's because you have to deal with the evil old bag
in front of you! Grrrr, that should tell you what the next
twenty (or more - God Forbid she lives that long) years will be
like.
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
Give her some cellulite cream the next time you see her.
RESPONSE: Bags Under My Eyes?!
I used to live in France (I'm American). The women there were
ALWAYS making comments like that - in front of your husband or boyfriend!!
The most common remark would be, "So nice to see you again!
You look tired!" The BEST remark, I found, was to always
respond with, "Thank you! I was just about to say the
same thing about YOU! Are you OK?" And they'd slink
away.
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