My MIL blames everything
on me. Every decision that my DH has made in the last 7 years
that she disagrees with has been "my influence".
She acts as if he has no brain of his own. When she couldn't
get him on the phone to talk every day, it was my fault. When
he didn't answer her email, it was my fault. I blame him a
little, because he never responded to her accusations. Her
problem is that, if he did send a reply, she always thought it was
from me. So, she'd send some really nasty cr@p back to me.
He had talked at great length with her on the phone, trying to get
her to just leave us alone. I told him that she needed to
see it in his own handwriting. And, that he is the one who
decided I could take precautions against this crazed lunatic mother
of his! We blocked her email in every way possible.
She likes to get several accounts with false names on them to try
and bother me. I have her IP addresses on them, and I can
prove that she sent them from her computer. CAN ANYONE SAY
DUUHH??? Also, we had/have caller ID, but she would find a
way to disguise her number. So, if we answered, I'd have to
hear at least her first nasty words, and then hang up. Hanging
up really pisses her off. She would call back over and over
again, and she even let the phone ring 80 times. I finally
would just pick it up and set it back down without hanging up.
I did it once for half an hour, and when I came back, she was screaming
obscenities still. Hmmmm, and she says she never uses those
words! Anyway, I thought I should tell you all about this
marvelous thing we have been using through our phone company:
"PRIVACY MANAGER". Basically, if their number cannot
be transferred across the caller ID, they have to state their name
or they cannot get through to us. It works in a way where
you never have to deal with the jerk on the other end at all.
You get a message that says so and so is calling, do you want to
accept or decline. So, if you decline the message, they just
get no answer. They won't even know you are refusing to accept
their cr@p! Neat, huh?! It works kind of like calling
collect, because their voice comes back stating their name, so you
would know if she is lying about who she is, too!
Signed - Try To Get To
Me Now, Ha, Ha, Ha!
RESPONSE: Try To Get To Me Now,
Ha, Ha, Ha!
Have you ever heard of a restraining order? This woman will
not stop just because you have Privacy Manager on your phone.
She still knows where you live and work, doesn't she? A restraining
order is your surefire way of keeping her away from you. If
she violates this order, she will be looking at jail time.
Trust me, I am in the law profession. Consider this for your
safety as well as your family's. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Try To Get To Me Now, Ha, Ha, Ha!
I can't believe the lengths you have to go through to keep that
crazy woman out of your life! It must be emotionally exhausting.
I think you should consider a restraining order, or at least a letter
from a lawyer stating that she is to have no further contact with
you without legal ramifications. Come over to the message
board - there is another DIL who has been dealing with a stalking
MIL too (on the spam free board). There is a lot of good advice
and support for you there! I hope you find some peace.
RESPONSE: Try To Get To Me Now, Ha, Ha, Ha!
How about recording some of her abuse on the phone. Then,
when she rings up to give you more, play it back to her.
This has to be one of
the best books I've read on this subject: "Fifty-Two
Ways to Be a Great Mother in Law ," by Claudia Arp.
Boy, I bet she is a nice MIL! In case anyone else besides
me is really depressed at the thought of becoming an awful MIL someday.
Signed - Worried About
Being A Bad MIL
RESPONSE: Worried About Being A Bad MIL
Hmmmm, maybe I should get that book to my FMIL! She needs
the advice!
RESPONSE: Worried About Being A Bad MIL
Boy, I think that one of the best gifts you could give your new
DIL is to tell her how you feel. New DILs are always nervous
about how MIL will feel about them. If you can not get the
words out, try writing in the front of a beautiful journal in which
she and her husband can record wonderful events in their lives.
I am sure having a nice and approving letter from her MIL will be
a treasured memory also.
RESPONSE: Worried About Being A Bad MIL
What a great idea! Thanks for sharing this. I have already
vowed to be a good MIL someday. This will help me get ready!
J
I am looking for that
perfect gift to give to my future daughter-in-law the day before
she marries my son. She has brought so much sunshine into
his life, as well as mine. God has blessed me with a son,
and in June I will be blessed with a daughter. I want to give
her that perfect gift. Please help with ideas. Thank
you.
Signed - Want To Give
Her That Perfect Gift
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
God bless you for being so supportive.
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
I'm not sure what you should give your future DIL, but I just wanted
to let you know that she is really lucky to have a FMIL like you
- someone who really loves and appreciates her. I wish you
and your family continuous happiness. I think you should definitely
tell her how you feel about her. Maybe you could send her
flowers the day of the wedding, with a note about how happy you
are that she is marrying your son. Good Luck!
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
When I got married, my ILs gave us a DVD player, a nice gift, to
be sure. But, I would have preferred something more personal.
My grandparents gave us a set of crystal candlesticks that were
a gift to them for their wedding. They included a note explaining
that they used the candlesticks once a month for a romantic dinner
(for 50 years) up until now, when they gifted them to us.
I don't have any specific ideas, since I don't know your FDIL.
You might want to ask your son what she would really like.
Or, ask her mom, since she'd probably be able to give you some good
ideas. I would have appreciated something like an antique
locket from my MIL, it fulfills the "something old" if
she doesn't already have that. And, later on, she could put
hubby's picture in it and baby's picture, if she has one.
Maybe you could take her shopping, and you could get some ideas
from the types of things she points out. I hope that you get
some good ideas on here, and I'm glad that your FDIL is getting
a thoughtful MIL who appreciates her, and cares.
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
You are so sweet! My MIL (who I actually like) gave me a necklace
right before I married her son. It was kind of a family heirloom,
so it helped me feel like part of the family. I think anything
that says "family" would be a good idea.
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
I truly hope that these feelings continue after the wedding, and
forever. I so wished that my MIL felt that way towards me,
or at least half of that. But, she hates me, and it is really
sad. I was a wonderful DIL. I tried and tried to make
her like me and be a part of our lives, but to no avail. Now,
we live far away, and it is so much better for us. The perfect
gift would be to keep feeling that way towards her. God Bless,
and good luck!
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
I do not have a good relationship with my MIL, at all. So,
I didn't care much for the gift she gave me before the wedding,
because to me she didn't mean it. However, it is a nice idea.
She got me a gold pendant with my new initials on the front.
And, on the back it said, "To our new daughter" and the
wedding date. I'm sure your future DIL will LOVE it if she
knows you mean it!! Best of luck!
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
I don't know what the perfect gift would be, but I thought your
post was nice. How lovely for you and your DIL that you have
that kind of relationship! I wish you all every blessing,
and a beautiful and joyful life.
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
God has blessed your son and FDIL as well! It's so nice to
hear from a MIL who appreciates the woman her son loves, and has
chosen to spend his life with. You are already giving them
both a wonderful gift! My suggestion for a gift for your DIL
would be something sentimental - maybe a photo album with pictures
of your DS from babyhood to the present, including pictures of his
future wife. You could leave space for them to add on as they
share their life together. Another idea would be a string
of pearls, or another lovely piece of jewelry that your DIL could
pass on to her daughter (or DIL) some day.
RESPONSE: Want To Give Her That Perfect Gift
It is good to see that a DECENT MIL wants to "do good".
I know that the rest of us are not so fortunate. I would find
a really great poem about special people and have it framed for
her. Good for you for trying. I wish you and your lucky
DIL the best.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- The Fish 3 of 4 /Posted: 11-FEB-02
The Wedding. I was actually pretty relieved
that MIL didn't want a thing to do with me or my wedding.
I wasn't about to consider HER feelings or wishes in my wedding
plans. As far as I was concerned, this was MY wedding, and
if she wanted things HER way, well, she could just go out and have
her own again! Keep in mind that, at this point in time, MIL
had never actually spoken a WORD to my face, not even "Hi".
Sure, she would b!tch and moan to DH, her family, and the general
public about me and my supposed transgressions. But, she never
said a word to me. It was just a way of making me a nonentity,
I guess. She referred to me as DH's "friend" right
up to the point when she didn't have a choice but to call me his
wife. So, with my mom gone, I planned my wedding pretty much
on my own (with lots of input from my mom's best friend).
We sent out the invitations, and, lo and behold, when we got the
one back from MIL and FIL (which amazed me to NO end that they bothered
to respond), it said, "1 will attend". I ran around
singing the hallelujah Chorus! I knew that the "1"
meant DH's dad, because he was IN the wedding! NO MIL!!!
YAY!! DH was hurt. So, I told him to talk to her if
he thought it would help. He never did. So, I guess
he wasn't THAT disappointed! As a side note, DH's dumb @ss
brother didn't come to the wedding, either (he's local as well).
Note: I said "Wedding". He came to the reception,
but couldn't "bother" to come to the wedding. Heaven
forbid he miss the party. DH's brother (more loooong stories)
is a world class pr!ck. So, I was happy. If the old
sourpuss didn't want to be there, FINE. I didn't care.
So, I was pretty disappointed to find out, a few days before the
wedding, that MIL would attend the wedding, not the reception.
The stated reason: She wanted to see her grandkids.
I had SD and SS in the wedding party as Jr. bridesmaid and Jr. groomsman.
The real reason: She realized that everyone she could b!tch
to would be at the wedding! So, fine. She showed.
10 minutes before the ceremony, she showed. She wore a WHITE
dress (hello - only the BRIDE is supposed to be in WHITE, you moron!
It was November, so I KNOW she did that one on purpose). She
wore BLACK TENNIS SHOES! She took picture upon picture of
SS and SD walking down the aisle, but no others. She refused
to be in any pictures after the ceremony, even though DH asked her
to. She stomped out immediately after the ceremony!
The rest of the day, I was asked, "What's wrong with DH's mom?"
Or, "Why did she only take pictures of the kids?"
Or, "Why did she have such a nasty look on her face?"
I can't tell you how many times I got asked those questions!
I told the truth. She was mad that she didn't get her way,
and that DH and I were married. I had no reason to cover up
for her! At any rate, something funny happened during the
ceremony that I didn't find out about until later. My bridesmaids
were prepped. They knew how completely antagonistic my MIL
had been to me with no provocation, and planned for it! I
had asked that the minister leave out the "does anybody object"
part. Frankly, if I've gotten this far, you should have said
something sooner! And, naturally, he forgot and left that
part in. So, this is what they planned - all 4 of them turned
and looked right at MIL when the minister said this! I didn't
see it, being in front of them and all. Afterwards, at different
times (weeks later), each of the 4 of them came to me in "secrecy"
and told me what they did! I thought it was hysterical!
But, here's the thing - all 4 of them told me that, when they turned
and looked at her, MIL had her mouth open! The b!tch was actually
going to say something, but she got so surprised that she didn't
have the chance! So, the wedding pretty well went off without
a hitch. DH was disappointed that his mother behaved like
a 3 year old, but, as I've come to expect, she ALWAYS behaves like
a 3 year old. I don't know why he always forgives her.
I guess it's hard to accept that your mom is a bitch and doesn't
really love you. After some of the nasty things she's said
and done to him (DH has me listen in on the phone when she's ranting),
I just don't get it. I thought all moms loved their kids and
wanted better for them until I met MIL.
RESPONSE: Thought All Moms Loved Their
Kids
Just be sure to send her a fabulous one-line, "Be nice to your
DIL. She's the one who will pick out your nursing home."
What a b!tch! I'm like you, I thought all mothers loved their
children. But, I found out, through this MIL, that I was sooooo
wrong. My MIL loves to have CONTROL of her kids. She
also thought she was going to control my wedding, too. The
difference is that I was planning the wedding three thousand miles
away from her, or I wouldn't have put it past her to go behind my
back and try to change things. And, according to my MIL, her
son (my DH) isn't successful enough to suit her. Hmmm, he's
only been making smart career moves, never taken a pay cut, and
is HAPPY in restaurant management. So what, if he's not a
minister? Who cares, except her? I completely understand
where you are coming from, girlfriend. Come on over to the
boards, if you're not there already, and let us commiserate, boost,
support, and laugh with you!
RESPONSE: Thought All Moms Loved Their Kids
What a miserable, nasty b*#$! Talk about self-absorbed!
I'm so glad you didn't let her ruin your wedding day for you, as
much as she tried. All she managed to do was make herself
look like the complete troll that she is, in front of everyone!
HA HA! I think what your bridesmaids did was hysterical!
They actually struck the old battle-ax speechless! LOL!
I hope you don't have to see this horrible woman now. She
is a complete loser! Congratulations on your wedding, and
best of luck! It sounds like you and your DH need it!
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page about one week later (one set of responses
posted per day). Stories and responses will no longer move from
page to page based on status.
Worst Gift Stories
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
