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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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February
14, 2002
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JANUARY
2002
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FEBRUARY
2002
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My complaints are actually
about FIL. I get along well with MIL, thank goodness.
The problems aren't anything really major, just little things that
get under my skin. Well, FIL and MIL have a very strained,
and sometimes hostile, relationship with each other, and DH tells
me it's been like that for as long as he can remember. Why
do they not get divorced? Who knows. There are three
children in the family: DH (oldest) and two daughters.
It seems to me that, since FIL doesn't invest any effort into his
marriage, he has put all that energy into DH. He majorly favors
DH (age 24) over the daughters (ages 21 and 18), and I think the
relationship is a bit strange. For example, during DH's high
school years, FIL took just the two of them (the rest of the family
was NOT included) on two major cross-country road trips. FIL
considers DH as his confidante, constantly complaining to him about
MIL, SIL's, etc. FIL won't even talk to his wife to discuss
the problems. He goes straight to the complaints with DH.
Also, FIL always "knows best", and wants DH to follow
his every piece of advice, to the point I think he (FIL) has control
issues. Example: DH is currently working on his master's
degree, which he will complete this year. DH has been considering
getting his Ph.D., but he really wants to be a writer, and he thinks
he will pursue that. But, FIL continues to pressure DH to
get the Ph.D. and become a professor. I can understand FIL's
ambition for his son, because DH is truly a brilliant student (graduating
#1 in his college class of several thousand two years ago).
But, shouldn't FIL be content to let DH follow his dream of writing?
The weird thing is, FIL himself has a master's, yet has drifted
through 10-20 different jobs during his life, most of which (including
his current job) were menial and unrelated to his education.
Every time FIL brings up DH's education, I want to yell at him,
"Yes, you know all about that, since your advanced degree has
served you so well!" I guess FIL just wants DH to be
successful career-wise in the ways FIL was not. Still, I am
uncomfortable with FIL's attachment and attempted control of DH.
It's probably petty, but I encourage DH to defy his father in small
ways, such as keeping his long hair, which FIL always bugs DH to
cut. On the plus side, DH is committed to his goals to become
a writer, so he's not bending to his father's wishes. Here's
an example of FIL's attachment: We live 3 hours from the IL's.
For his job, FIL travels regularly around the area to locations
which he himself chooses. One of those locations he has selected
is, surprise!, our town. This means that FIL drives down and
stays overnight in our apartment every two weeks. The visits
are for one or two nights, depending on which week it is.
I find this intrusive and inconvenient. We have to arrange
our schedules to be at home when he arrives (I will NOT give him
a house key) and stay there in the evening to entertain him.
We have turned down invites from friends to get together because
FIL is visiting. If I complain to DH about it, he responds
by telling me, "It's for FIL's job," meaning, I guess,
that FIL's job trips take precedence over our lives. FIL could
easily stay in a motel. I've gotten fed up with this, though,
and have decided that I will INSIST on carrying on with our lives
as usual when FIL intrudes. To give him credit, though, FIL
always calls to let us know when he is coming, and he is always
pleasant and nice to us. These visits have been going on for
about 4 years now. But, here's the kicker. - when FIL started
making his trips to our town, DH (boyfriend at that time) was a
college student living in the dorm. FIL would drive to campus,
park illegally in the dorm parking lot (he got tickets several times
- GOOD!!), and stay overnight in DH's tiny dorm room every two weeks!
At least DH didn't have a roommate! FIL was fully capable
of getting a motel, but chose to invade DH's cramped dorm room and
job as a residence hall peer advisor. Egad! Then, when
DH and I moved in together, FIL just moved his stays to our small
apartment. We don't have an extra bed, so he sleeps on the
couch. What really bugs me is that he doesn't pick up after
himself, and is a bit inconsiderate. Example: He often
has us pick up sandwiches or burgers for dinner (a holdover from
when he stayed in DH's dorm room). We will sit in the living
room and eat. FIL spills crumbs on the couch and leave his
food wrappers, pop bottles, and other trash sitting on the table
or floor, instead of walking 10 steps to the kitchen to throw it
away. The worst is when he puts his used toothpick down on
the table and doesn't throw it away. Also, he'll sometimes
be laying down on the couch, taking up the whole thing, which leaves
me no place to sit. I have to sit on the floor. I've
been picking up after him thus far, but I have decided not to from
now on. We will eat at the kitchen table. That should
eliminate the messiness and sitting places. Another messy
and inconsiderate thing: One time, FIL took a shower in the
morning, and the shower drain apparently got clogged up with hair
and wouldn't drain. Well, I didn't find out until DH and I
came home that afternoon and saw, to my surprise and disgust, several
inches of water sitting in the tub. Why didn't FIL attempt
to fix it by cleaning his damn hair out of the drain, or at least
tell someone so we could fix it? Gross! One last complaint
about FIL. Last month was my college graduation. I had
a dual major, and would be attending two graduation ceremonies,
one on Saturday evening and one on Sunday afternoon. Well,
FIL was planning to take DH and some acquaintances to a basketball
game in our town, and it turned out to be the Saturday night of
graduation ceremony #1. My out-of-town parents and DH came
to ceremony #1, but FIL did not, as he was busy meeting with the
friends before the basketball game. OK, fine. MIL and
SIL's were coming down Sunday to go to the ceremony #2, and I thought
FIL was going to attend too. I thought he would either stay
overnight at our place after the game, or go home and drive down
again the next day with MIL and SILs. Wrong! He drove
three hours to our town, saw the basketball game with his friends
and DH, and drove back that night, ignoring my graduation ceremonies
- even though the rest of his household came. Note:
My parents attended DH's graduation a couple years ago, which was
before DH and I were married. This story does have a silver
lining, though, because, since he didn't stay overnight with us,
I didn't have to deal with his messy ways!
Signed - Dealing With
Hassles
RESPONSE: Dealing With Hassles
Wow, interesting to see a FIL problem rather than a MIL problem.
Your FIL sounds like a man's man, so to speak. There are (and
especially among older generations) dads who are much more involved
with their sons than with their daughters. Not to excuse it,
but it sometimes happens. But, there is a good side to that.
Family researchers have found that strong father/son bonds are prevalent
among men with the strongest commitment to marriage. So, in
the long run, perhaps this bond will ultimately benefit you the
most! I think most of the stuff, like your FIL's sloppy ways,
etc., is kind of trivial, especially when you put this in perspective.
Remember, many of us have MILs who are TRYING to ruin our marriages,
so some of us would trade your situation for ours in a New York
minute. Please don't get me wrong - I'm trying to make you
feel better. And, I hope things do get better in your situation.
RESPONSE: Dealing With Hassles
The relationship your DH and FIL have will never change. And,
if you intend to divide them, you will lose. To change how
things are going, you must take charge of your house, make decisions,
and have both abide by your rules - including your FIL. This
will make you happier, and your DH will respect and agree with you.
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My MIL recently flew
in from out of town to visit my wife and me. When she arrived,
she mentioned that she would be "borrowing" our brand
new Jeep Cherokee to drive 5 hours north so that she could visit
with my wife's sister and her family (they have three young kids).
I protested, but to no avail, since I didn't have my wife's support.
So, away she went, in the brand new Cherokee, for a four day excursion.
My wife was so excited that she went with her!! My worst fears
were confirmed when I received a phone call about two hours after
they left. My MIL, in an attempt to avoid hitting a deer,
had swerved and hit the front bumper and entire passenger side of
the new Cherokee into a guardrail. My MIL and my wife were
safe. However, the new Jeep had been wrecked. The front
axle had been bent like a pretzel, and the rear tire was completely
knocked off its axis. Since my MIL was driving, and she is
not insured under my policy, I am now left with a $443 monthly payment
for the next five years, with nothing to show for it. When
I asked my MIL to help with these payments, she asked why I didn't
have "passenger insurance" on the car, and indicated that
she did not have the means to help. I offered to put her on
a no-interest monthly payment plan, but she declined. My FIL
has attempted to intervene, but has rediscovered the strong will
of my MIL in the process. My wife's brother, an accountant,
has helped with some of the payments, and is puzzled by his mother's
actions. I am grateful for his assistance. My wife thinks
that I am being totally unreasonable in asking for compensation
from my MIL. We are having some issues with this. My
BIL thinks this is the most hysterical thing he has ever heard.
Signed - Most Hysterical
Thing
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
I had a similar circumstance happen to me in college. I usually
never let anyone borrow my car, being that my thinking is that if
your name is not on the paperwork, then you're not behind the wheel.
Anyway, one of my "friends" (since downgraded to "acquaintance")
offered up a sob story about how she and her roommate needed to
borrow a car (for "a day or two") to go to see her roommate's
mom, who was apparently very ill. I decided to be a good Samaritan,
and gave them my keys. It turned out that the real reason
for the road trip was that their favorite singer was performing
in concert near the roommate's home. I didn't get my car back
for a week. I adopted the "once bitten, twice shy"
policy; and now only I drive MY car. You mentioned that the
Jeep was both yours and your wife's, but that YOU were responsible
for the payments. If your wife doesn't want mommy to take
responsibility for her actions, fine. Tell DW that the payments
are now HER responsibility. Either she'll pay off the car,
or see why you are none too pleased with her mother. BIL and
FIL know that MIL (and DW) are in the wrong. Next time, I
also suggest that you hold on to your car keys like they are made
of 24K gold. Give MIL the number for the closest rent-a-car.
If DW doesn't like it, too freakin' bad. Marriage is a partnership,
and she should have realized that your fears of having a noninsured
person behind the wheel of the new car were justified. Ask
BIL how he cut his apron strings, because your wife is in dire need
of that procedure! Signature: MIL and DW Can Take the
Bus
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Thank heaven for BIL! At least SOMEONE is supportive.
Does your wife need to go to counseling with you? It seems
like you might need to have a discussion with her about what happened,
and about her commitment to the marriage. She might not realize
how unfair she and her mother were to you. I'd just write
off MIL as a challenge and a pain in the neck, but I do hope your
wife comes around.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
BIZARRE that both your wife and BIL (he's laughing???) can't see
how awful this situation is for you, and they can't acknowledge
that your MIL should at LEAST help with those payments?!!
SHAME on your wife and her brother for not seeing this. How
would your BIL feel if HE had to pay that amount for the next 5
years because of HIS MIL - or because of you? Bet he'd go
ballistic!!! This is outrageous, and requires an outrageous
solution. THEY'VE GOT TO BE FORCED TO SEE THAT YOUR MIL's
ACTIONS REQUIRE THAT SHE PAYS. Calmly tell your wife that
she is to make the entire payment every month. She was in
the car. It's her mother. If she doesn't have a job,
I'd tell her to get one to pay off this debt. She'll throw
a fit - but stand your ground. Bet you anything that if she
has to pay, she'll do something to see to it that her mother shells
out. If your wife refuses to pay, and you get dragged into
court or whatever, be sure your wife gets dragged in with you.
And, I'd drop that lousy BIL as my accountant, no matter how much
your wife protests. Best of luck.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Is the jeep in both your names? Does your wife have a job
outside the home? If so, she should be paying for the "hysterics".
If not, she needs to get one, and at least share the load.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
There's one thing I don't understand. If your wife went with
her, why wasn't she driving her own car? I don't think you'll
be able to get your MIL to pay until you can get your wife to provide
a united front with you. It looks like your MIL is used to
getting her own way. Good luck to you!!!
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Since your FIL and BIL are reasonable, explain to them that if MIL
does not pay the car off, then you will have no choice but to sue
your MIL. Tell your wife that the two of you cannot afford
to make this car payment plus the payment for the new car (that
will NEVER be borrowed by MIL). Your wife sounds like a twit
for letting this take place.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Check your insurance again, and make them write a letter denying
your claim, specifically stating why. Then, sue your MIL.
You have an easy case.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
I hate to break it to you, but I suspect that your wife is turning
into her mother.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Your wife is wrong. Grow a spine, and insist that her mother
pay for all of the damages. Why is it that all of the complaints
on this web sites are caused by spineless men????
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Your wife should always work with you. MIL does not come into
the picture. If you said "No", the wife should agree,
even if she does not like it. I would want the wife to also
help, since she wanted MIL to have the car. And, MIL will
continue to do things to you if you don't get a handle with your
wife. I am a MIL and wife.
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Your MIL is atrocious. I have always been taught that if you
borrow something from someone and you damage it or lose it, you
are supposed to replace it or fix it. Is there any way to
sue the b****? I can't believe that she has no conscience!
You may have to have your wife get involved and speak up.
What your MIL did is not right. Why wasn't your wife driving
the Jeep instead? Your MIL was wrong to assume that she could
borrow your new Jeep. And, she was also wrong to not pay you
back in full for the damage. From what you wrote in your e-mail
about how excited your wife was about the trip, I got the impression
your wife was a bit ditzy. I hope she is on your side, and
that you put your foot down and make your MIL pay. Otherwise,
you may have to cut her off, because she is not being respectful
of you at all. Good luck to you!
RESPONSE: Most Hysterical Thing
Well, why doesn't her auto insurance cover the expenses of the accident?
I know that my insurance would cover something like that.
I would demand that she pay for the repair of the car, or she will
find herself in a law suit. I am in the law profession, and,
yes, it can be done. What a weirdo. Your wife should
be backing you up on this. I would never trust your MIL with
anything ever again. Good luck.
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Help! I'm about
to go on vacation with my new husband to the state where my in-laws
reside part time. I hate them so much. I'm not sure
how I am going to handle even four days with them. They never
approved of me, and, in fact, caused us to break up several times
because of the pressure they put on DH (we are of different races).
They've thrown tantrums! Finally, he told them to get over
it because we were getting married. For a few months they
were nice, and sucked me in with false friendliness. The truth
came out two weeks before the wedding, when my FMIL told me off
about the arrangements, which she did not approve of! We are
over 40, by the way. Two days before the ceremony, she tried
to get me alone, repeatedly (she never tells me off in front of
DH). I avoided her completely. So, they both disrupted
our wedding by being very late, wearing black clothes (like they
were in mourning), and sunglasses. That was just a few months
ago. They call every week, and I get off the phone fast.
My DH is upset by their behavior, but has forgiven them. He,
basically, said that it is a no win situation, but he knows that
his mom's behavior doesn't match her words. She tells him
how much she likes me, etc. All of this is very phony.
She always engages in passive-aggressive behavior. She says
she is "so happy" that we are happy, then she does something
mean. When this first started in October, he kept telling
me that I misunderstood her. Then, he had a talk with her,
and told her how much she was hurting me, and that she would be
causing problems if she continued. She said that she would
be more sensitive. And, then, two days later, WHAM!
Another round of insults. Every time I try to have a heart
to heart conversation with her, it turns into a story about HER,
and whatever affects HER. She has no compassion for anyone.
She is also a hypochondriac. My FIL is a braggart and blow
hard, always talking about how much money and power (he thinks)
he has to get things done in town. The funny thing is, my
family members are far more successful professionally. I've
tried to forgive my ILs all of the hurtful things they've done in
the past to me. For years, when we were dating, they told
my DH that I was not good enough, that I would bring shame to the
family because I am not the same race, and that associating with
me would ruin their family business, etc. So, next week, I'll
be forced to see them at a formal party with many guests, and also
in a few informal situations. We are staying at a hotel, although
they asked DH if we could stay a few days with them. He wisely
said, "No". I barely plan to speak to her, but my
DH is always aware of the tension. He thinks he can't do anything
about their behavior,, because they are 80 years old! I even
hate it when they kiss me on the cheek! So phony! My
BIL and his wife will be there, too. I observed that there
is absolutely no warmth between her and the IL's either, and she
has been married to BIL for over 20 years! She, basically,,
speaks when spoken to, and keeps moving around the room. I
am afraid to confide in her, or even ask her advice for dealing
with them, since it could get back to them. I figure that,
if they know I care, they'll really start to attack me. She
is the same race, but a different religion from the ILs, which was
a BIG deal to them. But, she produced grandkids, so they are
nice to her. You see the tension between them all. But,
when we go places with her, she is a totally different person, relaxed
and happy. Around them, she is as tight as a drum. I'm
thinking that I might just imitate her behavior. What would
you do if you had to spend a vacation with these evil people?
Signed - Some (Rotten)
Vacation!
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
I say: Get out a tape recorder and secretly tape one of the
conversations with them where they are mean to you. Then,
play the tape to your husband later, and let him hear, with his
own ears, how awful his parents are. If that doesn't work,
and he isn't supportive of you, then you really have to lay down
the law with him. Life is too short to have to put up with
cr@p like that. I had to deal with racism from my MIL from
the very beginning. She is a pathetic woman who thinks she
is high-society - NOT!!!! She tries to be nice to me now,
and doesn't dare cross me now, because she knows that I will tell
my husband to cut her off (and he will!). But I will never
forgive her for all the awful things she has done to me. She
treats my kids badly, too. She really favors her Aryan looking
grandkids. I look at my MIL's face and I want to vomit.
If I have to look at her, all I see is this baggy, wrinkled, pathetic
face (by the way, she thinks she is gorgeous!), and I HATE her.
I look at her wrinkled hands, with all those liver spots, and I
am totally disgusted. It is funny, though, how those things
wouldn't bug me at all if she was a nice person. She only
puts up with me because I am married to her son. I wish you
luck. I hope your husband turns around and becomes supportive.
That makes all the difference in the world. If he doesn't
change, then be prepared for a life of misery whenever you have
to deal with your in-laws.
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
Smart move to stay in the hotel. Do NOT stay in their home.
I'll bet your SIL is "tight as a drum"' because she has
learned the hard way not to say anything in front of the ILs that
could be used against her at a later time. Take her out, just
you and her, and make nice. Wait for her to mention them first
- but you may have a friend and ally.
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
I'd avoid any "heart to hearts", or any conversation at
all. Smile politely, and if you find yourself alone in the
room with either or both of them, get up and leave. Be polite,
but, again, avoid any contact, and keep your distance. Stay
near your DH, or walk around outside. They're 80 and won't
be around that much longer (hate to say it - Thank God!).
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
I would stay drunk the entire vacation to keep my sanity.
Good luck. I am sorry you have to deal with these rotten/evil
people.
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
Do what your SIL does: Speak to them when spoken to.
Short, one or two word answers, and keep moving around the room,
thus avoiding them. They obviously have put you in your place,
now it is time to put them in theirs, politely, by avoiding them.
Don't worry: They will quickly pick up the message!
RESPONSE: Some (Rotten) Vacation!
First, why do you HAVE to spend a vacation with these people?
They treat you horribly. Why does your DH want to put you
through this? Second, if you have to go, I would hang out
with the other SIL. Chat with her, and get to know her.
Tell her you feel a little out of place at these family events -
you two could become great allies! At least you don't have
to stay with these people - the hotel will be a good respite.
Good luck to you. Sounds like you will need it!
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This story is not about
my MIL, but my mother. She is making my husband and me miserable.
I will start with the time BEFORE the marriage. A friend of
mine had recently lost her elderly mother, and so the apartment
she lived in was available for rent. She told me about it.
The rent was very good for the area, and since my mother and I lived
in a not-so-good area (and the rent was soon to be raised), I suggested
that we move to the apartment. I was engaged at the time,
and I am the youngest and last at home of my mother's six children.
The time was very near for her to give up her long life of living
with and mothering one or more of her children. My oldest
sister, who lives out of state (along with her husband), had been
inviting her to move over with them for a long time. She wouldn't
go, because she didn't want to leave me, and wanted to make sure
I was fine on my own. When we heard of the apartment, the
idea was that she and I move in, and when I got married, she would
leave me and my husband with the place and move to live with my
sister. This would have been great, because my fiancé
lived in England at the time, where he was born and raised.
This would have helped, because we would not have had to look for
an apartment at all. We dated for two years (including engagement)
via the internet, and we visited one anthem's countries. My
mom and I moved into the apartment 10 months before the wedding.
Our wedding was in August. Mom was planning on retiring from
her job, in September, and leaving shortly after that. So,
we decided that she could switch bedrooms with us, since I had the
smaller room with the twin bed, and she had the larger room with
the full-sized bed. Of course, a married couple should have
the bigger room, it would only be fair. When we finally got
married, my mother was still with us. We never switched bedrooms,
as originally planned. We let her have the bigger room, because
she had nowhere to put her large furniture (it wouldn't fit in the
smaller room). Besides, she planned to be out of there by
November this time. So, in the meantime, she would help us
out, since Immigration had not yet given DH a work permit, which
meant he could not yet look for a job. The embarrassing part,
is that we dealt with sleeping in the twin bed all this time.
We figured she'd be leaving soon, and hoped immigration would give
DH a work permit very soon. PLUS, we couldn't afford, as yet,
to get a bedroom set (not that it would fit in our little room anyway).
To make a LONG story short, it is now February, and we are still
sleeping in that little bed, which is now sagging and near its end!
We purchased a bed not too long ago, and are expecting it to come
in this Friday. I approached my mother with the idea that
we should switch rooms. She attempted to ask me to wait until
she left, which would be soon, but I only thought about all the
times she said she was leaving and then didn't. So, I asked
her what she planned to do with her furniture when she moved.
Would she take it with her? She said, "No."
So, I offered to help her sell it, and advertised it on ebay, along
with her living room tables and the china closet. Only the
china closet sold, and she got all the money for it. Plus,
we paid for the ad fee. The other option was to give the furniture
to my uncle to sell for her. This way, there was no excuse
for her not to switch rooms with us. So far, so good.
We were feeling good, and looking forward to the moment we could
stretch out on our big bed in our big room. Until recently,
my hubby has been working odd jobs with my older brother, doing
contracting in people's homes, getting paid peanuts for each job.
My brother recently began to judge my DH from stories my mom told
him about his eating habits and his laziness (because he doesn't
go out to look for jobs). Mind you, my husband and I have
been faxing his resume left and right. I have him on three
online job search engines, and he's going on his third interview
soon. My brother (who's extremely rude, loud and NOSEY), began
to throw these things in my DH's face. Now, my DH wants nothing
to do with my mom. They totally avoid each other at home when
I'm not there. She was avoiding him first for a long while
(for no particular reason), and now they avoid each other.
To add to that, my other sister, who lives locally, emailed me to
tell me off for not being considerate of my mother's feelings.
She says that I make mom feel "rushed" to move out.
The story goes on and on, and my poor husband is mad and stressed
enough as it is. We managed to claim the kitchen and move
all our new, still boxed dishes into the cabinets (there were still
some wedding presents unopened in the front porch). We took
all our unopened gifts, and found room to put them. We had
to do SOMETHING to make that apartment feel like it was ours.
But, that's what made mom feel "rushed", and prompted
my sister to write. Well, now we're expecting our bed this
Friday, and we're not sure we should push mom to switch rooms (in
order to "please" the family - who should not have known
our business in the first place). What are we to do?
Just sit and wait and take it? I guess.
Signed - Not Sure We
Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom
To Switch Rooms
Your poor husband! Of course you should push mom out and switch
rooms! In fact, you should firmly push her OUT the front door!
Over and over on this site you will see people saying the same thing:
YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO YOUR MOTHER. She needs to grow up and
have her own space! Your husband left everything he's ever
known to come and live with you, and it sounds like his life is
he!!. Please have some consideration for him, and try to make
this transition as smooth as you can by letting him have his own
apartment, his own space, and his own wife. Throw your mother
out. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind!
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
Grow a spine and move out immediately. What's the problem?
Mom's not going anywhere, and she won't change. You need to
make your DH first priority, not put him in the line of fire.
Get some money together and move out ASAP. Mom can keep her
room, but you guys need some space!!
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
You and your mother had an agreement. She is a LONG way from
even looking like she is cooperating. Your sister and brother
live close? Good! Mother can take turns staying with
them. Because, as sure as Wednesday follows Tuesday, she NEEDS
to get out of your house! She is going to cause your marriage
to go down the tubes. You need to be firm and tell her that
you are not just switching rooms, she are moving out - like she
said she would. And, then, set a date. Sister and brother
feel badly that mom is feeling rushed? Too bad. Let
her live with them as long as she has lived with you and your DH.
If you can't confront, I advise you start apartment hunting - for
you and DH. Then, MOVE - without mom.
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
Take it? Definitely not! Does your family not understand
that newlyweds do not need added stress? They need some privacy!
Look for your own apartment, and let your mother fend for herself.
She is months past when she said she would leave, who knows if she
really will?
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
Move out of the apartment! End of story!
RESPONSE: Not Sure We Should Push Mom To Switch Rooms
I think you should start looking for a new apartment for you and
your DH. Your mom has no intention of moving to your sister's.
If you want your marriage to work, look for a place NOW! Even
if it is a one room studio, you will be better off without your
mother and the rest of the family getting into your business.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives