MIL is such a liar!!!!
First off, she went on a public forum and told everyone lies about
me and her son. I tried to defend myself through my family
and friends. I learned that she had told people that I did
drugs, and sold drugs, when I was working in Missouri. I HAVE
NEVER LIVED, NOR WORKED, IN MISSOURI! She was trying to lie,
but confused her reality within the lie. Her precious, never
does anything, daughter lives in Missouri. How dare she once
again try to make us appear like the white trash drug dealers!
I hate that she lies, but to make us even angrier, she always accuses
us of doing things we all believe her daughter is actually doing,
such as doing coke and smoking pot. She was using her brother's
credit cards to buy things for her and her boyfriend! She
used her brother's drinking problem to come between him and his
wife!!!! She neglected her own kids, they often had no food
or milk in the house, and she cried to people they knew until they
all bought her groceries. She made it appear as if her boyfriend
was the druggie and drunk, and she was the victim! Most of
the people who tried to help her out were far worse off than she
was, and later learned so! MIL even protects her from the
law, by claiming to "care" for these abused and neglected
kids! MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!! Most of the family's problems
are because the MIL lies and protects the guilty, instead of defending
the innocent!
Signed - Pissed About
MIL
RESPONSE: Pissed About MIL
For the sake of the kids, call human services and place an anonymous
call about the living conditions! The parents might be trash,
but that is no reason for the kids to be brought up in an environment
of that nature! If the kids get removed, then they will be
better off. And, maybe the kids will rise above their parents'
way of life, instead of being immersed in it!
MIL would die if she couldn't
hurt her own kids. My MIL thrives on telling stories behind
all her kid's backs. Her oldest daughter is a carbon copy
of her. She will say or do something bad to hurt you, and
stand right there and smile as you are in pain because of it!
They tell everyone that they are the most affectionate, loving family
ever. What, what, what????? They are the kind of women
to threaten your life to your face, and quickly run away before
you can respond! They are also the type to pretend the very
next day that they never did a thing wrong. They are all sweet
and nice, and wonder why you can't stand them??!! I hate people
like this! They are ... are ... GOD I can't find a word to
explain them at all! 2-faced????? Hypocrites?????
EVIL!!!!!!!!! Why are they like this???? My MIL's mother
and sister seem normal enough! I guess I can see why my SIL
is a creep. She was taught well!!!! I really, really
hate these 2 creeps! If I could get away with it, I swear
I would punch them both right in the nose!!!!
Signed - Bewildered DIL
RESPONSE: Bewildered DIL
You described my IL's! There's not much I have found to make
it better. We just keep our distance now. I tried ignoring
them, confronting them, yelling, screaming, crying, being nice,
going out of my way to make them happy - you name it. Nothing
worked. We limit our communication with them, and only have
short visits once or twice a year (they live an hour away).
We tell them nothing about our lives, and ask nothing about theirs.
It seems to work, for now! Good luck!
RESPONSE: Bewildered DIL
Why are they like this? Who knows? But the word "evil"
comes to mind. I would assume that, so far, no one has caught
them up in their little game, so they just go merrily on.
Get a voice-activated recorder, and put it in your pocket whenever
they are around. If you get some goodies on tape, you could
handle it one of several ways: If they were trying to hide
their viciousness from your DH, like my MIL did, then you wait till
he is with you, and bring up what was said to you last time.
When they deny it, pull the recorder out, and turn it on PLAY.
Otherwise, just wait till you have filled the tape, and sit your
husband down at a quiet time and let him hear it. Since your
responses will also be recorded, they cannot claim that you baited
them. Then, if you are still going to allow them in your lives,
I would warn them that they will never know when you have the recorder.
And, if they don't stop verbally abusing you, you will play it somewhere,
and for someone they didn't want to hear their garbage.
What do you do with a
MIL you overheard, on Christmas morning, b!tching nonstop to your
husband behind closed doors, saying that you're a "terrible
housewife" (because her son irons his own shirts! - yet your
household is impeccable, and beautiful meals are on the table)?
But, when you come downstairs, she pours you a cup of coffee with
a HUGE smile, pretending it never happened? HELP!! DH
doesn't want to tell her I overheard her, because he wants to "keep
the peace". By the way, her own daughter, my SIL, who
she kept quoting as her "source" of this information,
lives in FILTH.
Signed - I Can't STAND
Being Near Her Anymore!!
RESPONSE: I Can't STAND Being Near Her Anymore!!
WOWEE. They are my SIL and MIL. Let me tell you what
I think after my similar experiences with the in-laws from he!!.
SIL will talk, talk, talk about you forever because she is jealous.
You have a nice house, and it's clean. You probably take excellent
care of your children, and she most likely has no clue what it is
to be a really caring person! Your MIL is an exact likeness
of her daughter. Therefore, she will continue to attack you
behind your back until you come forward and face her. And,
then, she will be the most ugly, hurtful b!tch you could ever imagine
- right to your face. And, dear SIL will be right there by
her side!!!! RUN. R U N!!!!!! Get away from these
jerks before they can do some real damage to you and your family!!!!!
RESPONSE: I Can't STAND Being Near Her Anymore!!
Confront her yourself. Your DH should not be such a chicken
when it comes to his mother, but so many are! I, eventually,
had to force my husband to stand up to his mother, even though he
wanted to avoid a fight. Things are much better now.
She keeps her distance! ILs will sh!t on you as much as you
let them. Set your boundaries!
RESPONSE: I Can't STAND Being Near Her Anymore!!
My MIL is like that. If you put up with this behavior, it
will eventually get to you. You will blow up, and your husband
will have a hard time maintaining "peace" at that point.
It is far better to call their bluff. There is no need to
do it in person and create a scene. Send her a little "to
the point" note about this incident. Let her know that
you plan on remaining civil, but distant, until she can offer a
reasonable explanation and apology for her behavior, and until you
have reason to believe that she will no longer act in this passive-aggressive
manner. I can feel the pain you must feel in being near her.
I used to cringe looking at my MIL's benign, motherly face, knowing
what contempt was hidden behind her smiles. I first tried
to ignore her, it does not work for too long. I then tried
to counter it by acting the same way as her, but that did not work.
Unless you are just as wicked as she is, the charade will only make
you more uncomfortable. Call it as it is, and know it is not
your responsibility to maintain the peace at the cost of your sanity.
She is the one responsible for putting you in this situation.
And, DH is spineless for not setting her right in the first place.
RESPONSE: I Can't STAND Being Near Her Anymore!!
How hurtful, and on Christmas! She is obviously jealous that
you are married to her son, and she wants him all to herself!
So, it sounds like she is doing a bad job of trying to put your
husband off you. If I were you, I would rise above it.
Don't make any effort with her, but don't fall to her level, either.
See her when you have to, and be polite to her. And, then,
your husband will see you as the kind, mature lady that he loves,
and he will see his mother as a jealous and spiteful b!tch.
RESPONSE: I Can't STAND Being Near Her Anymore!!
I don't think I would say something directly. I think I would
find a way to mention sometime about how thin the doors are, or
how voices travel in her house. You could even say, "I
swore I heard you say I am a terrible housekeeper as I passed your
door." I would act very cool and withdrawn. I,
also, would not stay at her house, and especially would not invite
her to mine. Nor would I be inviting SIL. In a way,
MIL has a right to state her opinion, and if her DH is the only
one she is talking to, that is good. BUT, what she did hurts,
is deceitful, and I doubt that she only talks to FIL. I would
give her the cold shoulder. And, maybe, someday she will ask
why, and you can tell her. But, that is my solution - I may
very well be wrong.
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