My story goes like this:
This is about my boyfriend's mom, and the words she has said to
me at different times. Some things should be known before
I go on. Mom is white. She married a dark guy, so her
son is olive skinned, like I am.. He is 46. I am 43.
She lives in a 2 bedroom apartment at the top of his house, with
her own entrance. She is 75 years old. Things she said
to me without a blink of shame: 1. "I used to have
long hair like yours. I looked better." 2.
"I am more beautiful than you." 3. "My
husband fell in love with my beautiful legs, yours are skinny."
4. "If you'd wear makeup, you might look better."
5. "You are not accustomed to having tasty things in your
life (after I got ill drinking wine)." 6. "You
don't have a sexy body like I used to have." 7.
"It's good that my son met a woman with his skin color."
8. "My body looked better than yours when I was younger.
I had a flatter stomach." (she came down unexpectedly to her
son's house. It was a hot summer day, and I was in my under
things along with a light robe. I am 5' 7", and weigh
about 120 lbs). Some other things she has done when I was
spending my summer holidays with my BF. She woke me up at
7:00 am for no reason. She demanded that I make her lunch
and dinner. She never knocks. She takes whatever she
wants in the kitchen. Plus, when shopping, she will say, "Don't
buy that. My son does not eat it or like it." I
have told her that not everything I buy is for her son. I
buy things for me, too (like shampoo or soap). Once, my boyfriend
asked me to the beach, but I was having stomach pains 'cause I was
getting my monthly. And, I said that I cannot go. His
mom was there, and she said, "No problem, he and I can go."
Of course, he said, "No". She always wants to go
out with us. Anywhere we went, she was with us. It's
very annoying. Once, she entered the bedroom, of course without
knocking, and my BF and I were kissing each other. Wow!
We got scared. We both jumped. Then, the moment was
gone, so we got dressed. She waited for us in the living room.
I will tell more later. Wow, it feels good to write this down.
It's been bugging me for so long. I am writing it, and it's
sort of reliving it. And, I feel anger. Thanks Everyone.
Signed - Sort Of Reliving
It
RESPONSE: Sort Of Reliving It
Ha ha ha! Just another old hag taking out her bitterness (for
having made shitty decisions all her life) on you. Why doesn't
her son just put her somewhere with people her age where she can
b!tch and moan to them? Just laugh it off. This is soooooo
common. Expected even.
RESPONSE: Sort Of Reliving It
Wow!! What a witch she is!!! I don't even know what
to say to her comments about what a knockout she claims she used
to be. The phrase, "Well, isn't that nice," is the
only one that comes to mind. Oh, wait - how about, "BF
likes me just the way I am, right Honey?" (If she is
doing it in front of him). It does sound, though, like it
is time to put some boundaries up. Make sure BF's entrance
door has a lock, and that you keep it locked when you are there
together. And, since she doesn't seem to have the sense or
manners to realize that you don't walk into another person's bedroom
without knocking, then you had better put a lock on that door too.
I think you mentioned shopping with her? Don't. Sometimes,
you just can't do things with these women that you might do with
a friend or your mother. Also, don't just chat with her.
That is inviting criticism. And, you and your BF quit taking
her with you all the time. It sounds like she thinks she is
at least an equal in this relationship, and BF has not showed her
differently.
Worst gift: Hello, Everyone!
I've been reading these stories for a while now. Some were
sort of funny, some were very painful. Anyway, this is a gift
story. My boyfriend's (of 3 years) mom bought him a birthday
present, and said, "This is for you and your girlfriend."
I was standing right there. The present was a new hard disk
for his computer. For Xmas, she gave me some pretty things
for my hair that 10 year old girls use (bought at the dollar store).
I am 43. I always bought her things she likes, and they cost
a lot. Once, she took me out to lunch, bought me a 2 dollar
burger, and said, "Well, now you cannot say that I never bought
you lunch." Plus, she had the nerve to boast to her son
about doing it.
Signed - She Had The
Nerve To Boast To Her Son
RESPONSE: She Had The Nerve To Boast
To Her Son
She's cheap, and proud of it, it sounds like.
I simply like this web
site. My DH and his family are native Taiwanese. I am
Taiwanese too, but I grew up in Brazil. I married at 25 years
old, and I moved back to Taiwan. My MIL continues until today,
after 11 years of marriage, to tell me that I am not one of them.
At the beginning, my FIL arranged many mistresses that were younger
than her, so every woman younger than her is hated. I love
my husband, so I swallowed every offense that she would tell me.
Nothing that I did pleased her. I will chop veggies and wash.
She will tell me that I should wash and chop. If I chop veggies
or meat, she will find any single thing to complain about - size,
way to cut (straight or diagonal), etc. My food was or too
salted or without flavor. If I cooked too many dishes, I was
wasteful. If I cooked too few dishes, I was lazy. Anyway,
no matter what I did, nothing was right. I knew she was trying
to make my life miserable. She did the same with her husband.
Nothing he did was right for her, and she will declare herself as
the most wonderful woman alive. Whenever we spent a weekend
at her house, she will keep her eye on me so I wouldn't go anywhere
or buy anything. She wanted to control my life as much as
she could, even though I held a job and paid for my expenses.
She didn't want me to mop floors with her mop. I was supposed
to get an old cloth and use a thin bamboo stick to mop. I
simply went to the grocery store and paid with my own money for
a new mop. She got really mad. She called me "wasteful"
for buying a new mop, lazy for not using a stick and a old cloth
to mop (even though she never used this kind of thing, she has a
mop). I told my husband about her, and my husband sided with
her. I got angry, and went on a wild shopping spree with his
money. Then, my MIL couldn't sleep for three nights.
She was telling my husband about me being wasteful. I told
my DH, "Your mother tells these things to you, and you side
with her about these lies. Why not give you both real reasons
then to complain about me? If I can not do anything right,
then I give up. At least you can blame me for real things,
and I couldn't care less." My DH decided, then, to cut
frequent visits or weekend stays at his mother's. Then, she
called home and told him that he was abandoning her, and she threatened
to commit suicide. This suicide threatening has been going
on for four years already, but she is alive - boiling slowly at
her home, cursing the walls, with no relatives visiting her anymore.
I am so happy to finally choose my own friends, not feeling obliged
to visit her just because I am a relative (DIL, etc.,). Recently,
we moved to the USA. For me, this is really a country of freedom
(from bad mouthing relatives).
Signed - Miles Away From
MIL And Enjoying
RESPONSE: Miles Away From MIL And Enjoying
How awful for you! But, how great to move away. Funny,
how people who threaten suicide (to force people into doing what
they want) are always very much alive and kicking, enough to continue
to make everyone's lives miserable, years down the road LOL!
Good for you for sticking up to your DH about that mop - Boy, she
wanted you to really SUFFER! Best of everything to both of
you.
RESPONSE: Miles Away From MIL And Enjoying
No wonder her husband always had mistresses! I'm surprised
he never left the old bat. Anyway, you're better off now,
far away. Good riddance. You know, we can choose our
friends, but we can't choose family. Personally, I choose
to be with people that make me feel good, and who appreciate my
DH and I, rather than suffer and perhaps shorten our lives because
of nasty, jealous relatives. Sure, some are nice, but, again,
we should all CHOOSE those we wish to be with, and dump the rest!
Life is too short to be forced to feel miserable.
RESPONSE: Miles Away From MIL And Enjoying
Wow!! What a story! Your MIL is AWFUL - but you already
know that. Congratulations for standing your ground!
And, welcome back to the USA. C'mon over to the Boards - I
gotta hear more about this MIL!
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