Worst gift: As usual,
I do all the gift buying in our little family, including buying
for DH's side. I usually ask if there's anything in particular
that the person wants for their birthday/Christmas etc. Sometimes,
people (with the exception of MIL) give me ideas, which I find really
helpful. It's a difficult task to come up with something different
each time the event rolls around. And so to help out the other
gift buyers, I try to make a list of what I would find useful when
it's my birthday or Christmas. I make it clear that nobody
has to choose from the list if they would prefer not to, it doesn't
bother me if they don't. As mentioned, MIL always tells me
that she either doesn't want anything (yeah right!) or that she's
easy to buy for (rat poison springs to mind!!). It really
pisses me off that she can be so difficult. So, one particular
year, I thought I would go without my list and see what she ended
up buying me. Well, amongst other things, the gift that really
stands out is my toilet roll holder with teddy bears painted on
the front. Woo Hoo!!!!!! I didn't know whether to laugh
or cry at that one! Every time I go into our toilet, I'm reminded
of her. I swear she's a witch in disguise.
Signed - She Never Ceases
To Amaze Me!
RESPONSE: She Never Ceases To Amaze Me!
Well, maybe that is a good thing that you are reminded of your MIL
every time you go use the bathroom. That is probably where
she belongs. She is a piece of cr@p! LOL!
RESPONSE: She Never Ceases To Amaze Me!
I have the same problem with my MIL. Gift certificates - lots
and lots of gift certificates. I usually get them for her
to go out to eat at a place which might contribute to her high cholesterol.
God forgive me. LOL
RESPONSE: She Never Ceases To Amaze Me!
That's funny. Every time I go into our toilet, I'm also reminded
of my MIL, although she's never given us a gift for the bathroom.
I think it's just because she's full of - well, you know.
J.
Worst gift: Although
this is about my grandmother, for various reasons she has come to
be known to me primarily as my mother's mother-in-law. So,
this is written on my mother's behalf. For most of my life,
my grandparents gave us used gifts. And not just used gifts,
awful ones. These have included tacky plastic clip on earrings
(I'm pierced, and those are painful!) from garage sales and thrift
stores, awful gaudy costume jewelry, and used clothes for both her
DIL and granddaughter, and stained used clothes. And, before
you muster up sympathy for a woman scrounging for gifts, their assets
top 7 digits. Thankfully, she graduated to cash (not because
cash is the best present, but because we stopped having junk accumulating
around the house). For my parents 25 year anniversary, they
gave them $25. And, that was the best it got. My mother
is perennially pissed at the $15 she gives her grandchildren (both
over 21) each year. What bothered me was that it was stuck,
without card, in a bank envelope. It's not that we ever got
anything but leftover cards from the 70's, but seeing "Happy
Xmas" squeezed in to the top corner above "X Federal Savings
Bank" was the clincher. For my parents 33rd anniversary
present this year, they got $20. I think I know why, though.
After 33 years, the will is still carefully designed to exclude
my mother in case my parents get divorced. Perhaps they are
confusing my parents with my uncle, who is now courting his third
wife. The sum wouldn't bother me so much, if it were not so
sharply contrasted by my future in-laws. By comparison, they
have very little money, and are hovering near the poverty level
due to long illness. Even so, they often go out of their way
to get me a present which is always in the right size and is my
favorite color. But, this year, they got me $50 that they
made me swear to spend on clothing, because all their shopping had
not brought forth something they deemed worthy. When my grandparent's
other grandchild, just starting out, got me a very thoughtful present,
perfectly suited to my needs, and costing twice what my grandparents
had collectively given me, it was interesting to see my grandmother
scurry into her bedroom to give me some used plastic earrings.
Signed - Eternally Grateful
For My Own FIL's
RESPONSE: Eternally Grateful For My Own FIL's
I was really interested to read your post - heartwarming to read
of your future ILs. Sorry about your grandmother. She
sounds like a real penny-pincher.
RESPONSE: Eternally Grateful For My Own FIL's
We could almost be related!! When we got married, my ILs changed
their wills to accommodate any future children of DH, etc., etc.
They also put in a clause stating that, in the event of our splitting
(in their dreams!), I would not have claim to anything. Don't
get me wrong, I don't care what they do with their money.
And, I wish they'd go and blow the lot rather than keep on telling
me that it will all be mine one day. The inference being that
I only married their son to get my hands on their money. What
really gets to me is that they feel the need to keep harping on
about their wills, money, etc. As far as I'm concerned, it's
their business, no one else's. My parents are like your FILs
- they don't have much, just about make ends meet, but they are
always generous and kind. I always feel that we could turn
to them for help and support. Oh, and while they have made
wills, they choose not to bang on about what's in them!!
RESPONSE: Eternally Grateful For My Own FIL's
Some people are just cheap. They may have a 7 digit income,
but a poor, miserable mentality. And, they will never know
the joy of giving. I'd chalk them up to experience to learn
from it (i.e., resolve to never be like that when you're they're
age!).
HELP! My twin daughters'
3rd birthday is approaching. I want to be able to enjoy my
children's party this year, since, on the day of their first TWO
birthdays, MIL did bizarre things to annoy me. These are her
GRANDCHILDREN! What is her problem?! Let me explain.
On the morning of my girls' 1st birthday party, I received a "mysterious"
phone call telling me that my MIL hates me and is planning on doing
"something" to ruin the day. Hey, it is no shocker
to anyone in the family that MIL and I are not on the friendliest
terms. I never did find out who made that phone call, but
it shook me up. When MIL arrived at our house for the girls'
1st birthday party, she was so sweet that it nearly gave me a toothache.
And, here I was all nervous about her arrival, and I couldn't enjoy
my girls' 1st birthday party because I was waiting for her to "drop
the bomb on me". Then, the following year, at the girls'
2nd birthday party, MIL arrived 2 hours late. When she came
to the party, she made a dramatic scene in front of everyone BECAUSE
the food was put away! Hello, lady! I put the food away
so no one would get food poisoning, not to mention the fact that
MIL didn't arrive until AFTER the birthday cake was served!!!
UGH! So, now, the 3rd birthday party is coming, and I have
a gut feeling MIL will plan SOMETHING to aggravate me. I would
die before I let her know how much she gets to me. But, deep
inside, she fries me. I just want to enjoy my girl's birthday
party without worrying about what she is going to try to pull.
I have a feeling this year it will be an even "bigger and better"
thing, all with the intention to annoy me. My DH and I have
had many discussions about MIL, and we have come to an agreement
to minimize contact with her. However, at DH's request, I
have to invite her to her grandchildren's birthday party.
I wish I didn't! HELP! I could use anyone's thoughts
on what I should do, or how I should handle things!
Signed - Maybe She Will
Choke On The Birthday Cake
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
My mom can be unpredictable, and can cause similar stress to my
SIL. My brother also keeps limited contact with her, but wants
her invited to his son's birthday. So, we have found a perfect
solution. A week before my nephew's birthday, mom is invited
to a place where he wants to go, along with anyone else who does
not care about what mom does. They take along a cake.
My nephew has a good time, and his parents stay busy looking after
him. Mom is free to have a good time with the grandkid, or
sit there and sulk with no one paying attention. After that,
SIL celebrates her son's birthday by inviting a bunch of his little
friends. Her side of the family usually gets together for
a picnic, complete with another cake, the week after. There
is no such thing as too many cakes for a little kid. He has
more fun at his party with his friends and the little get-togethers
with the two sides of the family than he would at a big bash where
everyone is stressed out.
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
Maybe you could have two separate parties. One on the real
birthday, and another one on the weekend that includes all those
obligatory invitees (i.e., your MIL?).
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
I think your DH needs to speak to his mother ahead of time and tell
her flat out that if she makes a scene, or misbehaves in any way,
he will escort her to the door and embarrass the sh!t out of her
on the way. I have no tolerance for selfish adults ruining
children's birthday parties. We had to do this with my MIL.
She had very specific ideas about how faaaaamily parties should
be run, even when they were held in someone else's house.
She expected certain foods, and that children be seen and not heard.
Well, for our son's second birthday, we planned kiddy foods and
games, and the focus was to be on our son and the other children.
DH told his mother that this was how we were going to run the party,
and we just wanted her to know ahead of time so she wouldn't be
surprised (more like she wouldn't throw a tantrum). MIL said
she could see by the way we planned the party that she was not welcome,
so she wouldn't be attending. Hooray! We had a lovely
party, and all the other adults that came had a fine time and thought
it was great! My self-absorbed MIL actually took offense at
the fact that we planned our son's birthday to meet HIS needs.
Tell your DH that he needs to tell MIL what he expects from her.
And, if you're lucky, she will have a pout and stay home like my
MIL did. Then, you all win!
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
We have a party for the kids (which really includes everyone).
And, then we have a party for the in-laws, which just includes them.
Everyone seems to be happy this way - so far! My MIL makes
everyone nervous, not just me. Even our friends who meet her
for the first time ask us what her problem is. This was our
solution. It is a pain to have two parties, but keeps the
pressure off. Ask your DH if it would work for you.
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
I would either speak to MIL beforehand, or meet her at the door.
Tell her, in no uncertain terms, that while her feelings towards
you are her own, you will not have her hurt your daughter.
Tell her that if she pulls anything to ruin the party for the girls,
it will be the last time that she sees them. You might also
want to videotape the party. It is great evidence.
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
I am sorry to say this, but since your DH knows what his mother
did, he is an @ss to even ASK you to invite that nasty witch!!!
I would call the party off, and take the kids out somewhere with
just you and your DH.
RESPONSE: Maybe She Will Choke On The Birthday Cake
My mother is the party pooper in our family. She used to come
to our get togethers and roll her eyes at the kids who were being
loud or having fun (to her they were silly). She often offered
her opinion (loudly) about their behavior. She told me, after
my oldest son's third birthday party (her only grandchild at the
time), that we shouldn't invite her to these parties anymore, as
she just isn't interested (and, judging by her actions and the look
on her face, she wasn't enjoying herself). I never minced
words when anyone asked why my mother wasn't at my children's birthday
parties. I announced, with a smile, "My mother asked
not to be invited to her grandchildren's parties." The
truth is the truth. And, she solved the problem of a disgruntled
guest for us.
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Worst Gift Stories
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