I know a girl who had
the MIL from he!!. This girl married a guy from a "close-knit"
family. The MIL hated her right off the bat because she was
a different nationality. She always had something to say about
this girl . One thing that irked my friend was that her MIL
would not accept a gift that was given in a gift bag. She
felt that if the gift wasn't wrapped with paper, tape, and a bow,
then she was being disrespected. A gift bag with tissue was
insulting to her, and she refused to even look at it, never mind
open it. Needless to say, my friend eventually divorced her
hubby due to his "close-knit" family, and his lack of
a spine.
Signed - A Gift Bag With
Tissue Was Insulting To Her
RESPONSE: A Gift Bag With Tissue Was Insulting To Her
Your story reminds me of thoughts I have when I hear someone say
that his/her family is, "so close, very close, close-knit,"
etc. Almost every time I've ever heard this AND had a chance
to observe the subject family interacting in person, I've come away
appalled at the LACK of closeness. I've found that actions
speak louder than words, and families that are TRULY close have
no need to tell people how close they are - their actions show it.
Q: Why did my mother-in-law
cross the road?
A: I don't know, but it was an ugly site.
Signed - MIL Cross
The Road?
My MIL had a habit of
showing up at a family event with my SIL, her DD, but wanting my
DH to take her home. We were newlyweds. My SIL lived
much closer, and taking MIL home was completely out of our way.
Not to mention, when we got to her house, she would have a list
of chores ready for my DH. And, she does not take no for an
answer. One time, we were getting ready to attend an anniversary
mass for DH's grandfather. He was bemoaning the fact that
his mother would want us (him, really) to drive her home later.
Then, she'd have all sorts of things for him to do, and his whole
weekend was ruined. I, suddenly, had a revelation: We
always take my car to these things. Let's take your car, DH.
My DH grinned from ear to ear, as we set off to the church in his
car. On the way out of the mass, MIL started whining that
she wanted DH to drive her home. He said, "I can't, ma.
DW's car is in the shop, so we had to bring mine." Poor
MIL, her DS's car is a two seater. There just wasn't anyplace
for her to sit, and no way around it. From then on, we attended
every faaaamily gathering in the two-seater. Why in God's
name didn't we think of this sooner? One time, MIL said, in
a very NASTY tone, "DIL, why is YOUR car always in the shop!?"
DH and I just looked at each other and giggled. Sometimes,
it's the little battles that keep up our morale so that we can continue
to fight the war. J.
Signed - I Unseated My
MIL
RESPONSE: I Unseated My MIL
You go girl! Thanks for reminding us that we can actually
have some fun with our MIL circumstances. Keep up the good
work!
RESPONSE: I Unseated My MIL
That is great!! Maybe my FDH and I need to look into getting
a two-seater for future instances like that. Very good!
J
RESPONSE: I Unseated My MIL
That is a FABULOUS idea, but it will get old fast. Tell the
b!tch to learn to drive and get her own car. And, also tell
her that DH is NOT her slave boy!!
RESPONSE: I Unseated My MIL
VERY good!! You two get a gold star in MIL handling!
Way to go!
Worst gift: Let's see.
MIL got us exactly NOTHING for a wedding present, although she gave
DH and his FIRST wife over $1000 in cash, PLUS a washer/dryer.
FIL, bless his 75 year old heart, managed to get himself to the
mall, find out how to buy something off our registry, and did it.
The card said that it (a place setting of our china) was from FIL,
not FIL/MIL. I'm still amazed at his thoughtfulness, and at
her lack thereof. The ILs always get very nice food gifts/baskets
from us. SIL loves baskets, and always raves about them, but
has never bothered to find out what WE might like. I get that
as a common theme here - these thoughtless ILs get stuff for us
that THEY would like, never bothering to find out what WE would
like. While, all the time, WE bust our @sses trying to find
something THEY would like, even if WE don't care for it. We
are given CR@P from CR@P FAIRS - none of the IL's have bothered
to find out anything about me (or DH, for that matter) to know that
we do NOT decorate with that sort of thing. They've been in
our home, you'd think they could SEE that it's definitely not done
"cutesy country". MIL gets DH clothing from discount
department stores. And, while there's nothing wrong with it,
that's not the style or type of clothing he wears. She still
buys him things, as if he were a blue collar steel worker (which
he USED to be 20 years ago!). But, now he has a college degree,
and is VP of a BANK! Not exactly the same kind of wardrobe,
if you get my drift! But, MIL can't figure that out, apparently.
I occasionally get the same thing that they give my 14 year old
stepdaughter. Yeah, I'm dying to look like a 14 year old wannabe!
NOT! I think the worst was what my poor SS had to go through
2 years ago. MIL's favorite son (not DH, BTW) is a VERY cheap
person. He refuses to wrap presents. He says that he'd
rather stick a dollar on them, and that it's a waste of time and
money, etc. And, he DOESN'T put a dollar on them anyway (not
that I'd want him to, but those are his words, not mine)!
What a moron! It's very obvious that he puts zero time, effort,
thought, or $$ towards his brother, me, or his niece and nephew.
He gave my SS, then 8, a black plastic trash bag and said, "Here
kid. Here's your Christmas presents." Imagine how
an 8 year old is supposed to feel when he pulls out of his "Christmas
Present" bag, boxes of tissues, batteries, flashlights, cologne
samples - it was completely nuts! It was so obvious that this
man (who, fortunately, has stayed OUT of the gene pool) had no CLUE,
and didn't give a seconds though to an appropriate gift(s) for an
8 year old. SS didn't say anything. Not out of politeness,
but, I'm guessing, it was because he was simply in SHOCK.
And, MIL tried to play it up and say that he could play outdoors
at night with the flashlights (yeah, everyone wants to send their
small kids out of doors, at night, to go play with flashlights).
And, he would be attracting "all the girls" with the cologne
(news flash MIL - SS still HATED girls at that point!!). It
was truly pathetic. And, he had the NERVE to complain about
the $50 golf sweater that DH spent a lot of time AGONIZING over
(he wanted BLUE, not GREEN!). That little episode certainly
opened DH's eyes about his brother, BIG TIME. Several months
after this, he gave DH a "Free with purchase" bag he'd
gotten when purchasing cologne. DH had had enough, so he did
the same thing to his brother when his birthday rolled around a
few months after that. It was his idea, mind you, not mine.
But, I was happy enough to have him give BIL a taste of his own
medicine! And, BIL had the nerve to COMPLAIN, and he even
gave it BACK to DH! What a b@stard! BIL can dish it
out, but he sure can't take it! Needless to say, DH and his
brother DON'T exchange gifts anymore.
Signed - Annoyed In Illinois
RESPONSE: Annoyed In Illinois
Aside from the BIL, it just sounds like your ILs are simply clueless,
not nasty. As far as your DH getting clothes that are like
a steelworker, what EXACTLY do you mean? Does your VP DH wear
Armani 24 hrs a day or something? I know a man who is a multimillionaire,
and HE wears casual things all the time. Give the cr@p away
if you don't like it!
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