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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 17, 2002
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MARCH 2002
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I have been married for almost 9 years.  My husband has an emotionally incestuous relationship with his mother.  Can you offer any support or help?  I would appreciate any advice you could offer.  Thanks.

        Signed - Husband Emotionally Incestuous With MIL

DH's parents were divorced when he was 15, shortly before we started dating.  My MIL and I actually get along really well, she's a great person.  My problem is FIL, his new wife, and their three kids, who are brats from he!! (all under the age of 10).  FIL and his wife never even bother to call me or DH on our birthdays.  But, if we don't spend enough money on the kids for their birthdays, we get phone calls telling us how horrible we are (luckily, we live in different states).  The kicker is Xmas.  Three years ago, they got me a book for Xmas, "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul".  I love animals, but the book was just too syrupy for me.  So, I politely thanked them, and later gave the book to my little sister, who had just lost her dog.  The next year rolled around, and they gave me a book for Xmas.  "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul".  Yes, it was the exact same book a second time.  I gave it to my mom.  The next year, we joked about it, wondering if I'd get it again, but decided the odds were against it.  So, what did I get last year for Xmas?  "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul".  It had the $5.00 clearance tag still on it.  Know what we got them last year for Xmas?  A CD player, several CDs, and $50 worth of books and games for each kid.  They gave me the same clearance book (which I gave to a friend), and they gave DH a reading light that broke almost immediately, and a jigsaw puzzle.  We're wondering if this year will be year #4.

        Signed - Chicken Soup

RESPONSE:  Chicken Soup
Give each child the "Chicken Soup for a Pet Lover's Soul" book!  I wouldn't waste my time or money on an ungrateful family.

RESPONSE:  Chicken Soup
Buy similar books (in bulk!!!!) for all these "wonderful and giving" members of DH's family (but not for the kids - they can't help it if their parents are morons).  Good luck.

RESPONSE:  Chicken Soup
You bought them a CD player, after they sent you the same cheapo book THREE YEARS IN A ROW?  *boggle*.  Next year, send 'em a fruit basket, and don't brook any complaints from people so thoughtless and boorish and self-centered.

frequent fry her - Lilly 1 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM - Lilly 1 of 4 /Posted: 17-MAR-02
My DH and I have been married 2 years now.  We've had limited contact with his family during our marriage, because they were such a nightmare during our dating, engagement, and the first few months of our wedding.  My DH has 2 younger sisters (23 and 27).  His sisters still live with his parents, and so my DH was the first to move out and get married.  You would have thought he was dying by the way they reacted to our plans for marriage!  They totally tried to stomp on our joy by being so sad that, "their family was breaking up."  They tried to exclude me for holidays until they "had to invite me" after our wedding.  Then, to top it off, his mom and sisters acted like jealous ex girlfriends towards me.  The list of stories would be too long to recall right here.  And, so, as I mentioned, after our marriage my husband and I kept them at a far distance.  Fast forward 2 years later to this week.  My DH's 23 year old sister just got engaged.  My DH and I sent congratulatory flowers.  Apparently, we are the only ones from her family who are happy about her engagement!  Same old, same old, my MIL doesn't want her kids to grow up and have lives of their own.  So, it was SWEET JUSTICE when my SIL got on the phone with me recently, and complained about how sad it was to her that her sister and parents weren't happy, and how much more comfortable she is with her fiancé's family, because they are being supportive, etc., (my in-laws HATE that my DH and I spend more time with my family).  HUMMM, it doesn't feel very nice to have your joy stomped on, does it????  Then, my MIL called up my DH yesterday, and started complaining about how future son-in-law's family is meddling, and are already being demanding about the future wedding.  HUMMMM, as I recall, my MIL did the EXACT same thing with her demands of photos on our wedding day that don't include me, and other demands.  And, so, this upcoming year, as the wedding is being planned, will be SWEET JUSTICE for me as I sit back and watch the warped minds of my in-laws at work - as they engage in all the same behavior that is now annoying them.  And, as my SIL comes to realize how miserable she was towards my DH and I in the past, and WHY we have been so distanced over the last 2 years.

        Signed - Sweet Justice


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