I have been married for
almost 9 years. My husband has an emotionally incestuous relationship
with his mother. Can you offer any support or help?
I would appreciate any advice you could offer. Thanks.
Signed - Husband Emotionally
Incestuous With MIL
DH's parents were divorced
when he was 15, shortly before we started dating. My MIL and
I actually get along really well, she's a great person. My
problem is FIL, his new wife, and their three kids, who are brats
from he!! (all under the age of 10). FIL and his wife never
even bother to call me or DH on our birthdays. But, if we
don't spend enough money on the kids for their birthdays, we get
phone calls telling us how horrible we are (luckily, we live in
different states). The kicker is Xmas. Three years ago,
they got me a book for Xmas, "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's
Soul". I love animals, but the book was just too syrupy
for me. So, I politely thanked them, and later gave the book
to my little sister, who had just lost her dog. The next year
rolled around, and they gave me a book for Xmas. "Chicken
Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul". Yes, it was the exact
same book a second time. I gave it to my mom. The next
year, we joked about it, wondering if I'd get it again, but decided
the odds were against it. So, what did I get last year for
Xmas? "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul".
It had the $5.00 clearance tag still on it. Know what we got
them last year for Xmas? A CD player, several CDs, and $50
worth of books and games for each kid. They gave me the same
clearance book (which I gave to a friend), and they gave DH a reading
light that broke almost immediately, and a jigsaw puzzle.
We're wondering if this year will be year #4.
Signed - Chicken Soup
RESPONSE: Chicken Soup
Give each child the "Chicken Soup for a Pet Lover's Soul"
book! I wouldn't waste my time or money on an ungrateful family.
RESPONSE: Chicken Soup
Buy similar books (in bulk!!!!) for all these "wonderful and
giving" members of DH's family (but not for the kids - they
can't help it if their parents are morons). Good luck.
RESPONSE: Chicken Soup
You bought them a CD player, after they sent you the same cheapo
book THREE YEARS IN A ROW? *boggle*. Next year, send
'em a fruit basket, and don't brook any complaints from people so
thoughtless and boorish and self-centered.
Frequent
Fry Her TM - Lilly 1 of
4 /Posted: 17-MAR-02
My DH and I have been married 2 years now.
We've had limited contact with his family during our marriage, because
they were such a nightmare during our dating, engagement, and the
first few months of our wedding. My DH has 2 younger sisters
(23 and 27). His sisters still live with his parents, and
so my DH was the first to move out and get married. You would
have thought he was dying by the way they reacted to our plans for
marriage! They totally tried to stomp on our joy by being
so sad that, "their family was breaking up." They
tried to exclude me for holidays until they "had to invite
me" after our wedding. Then, to top it off, his mom and
sisters acted like jealous ex girlfriends towards me. The
list of stories would be too long to recall right here. And,
so, as I mentioned, after our marriage my husband and I kept them
at a far distance. Fast forward 2 years later to this week.
My DH's 23 year old sister just got engaged. My DH and I sent
congratulatory flowers. Apparently, we are the only ones from
her family who are happy about her engagement! Same old, same
old, my MIL doesn't want her kids to grow up and have lives of their
own. So, it was SWEET JUSTICE when my SIL got on the phone
with me recently, and complained about how sad it was to her that
her sister and parents weren't happy, and how much more comfortable
she is with her fiancé's family, because they are being supportive,
etc., (my in-laws HATE that my DH and I spend more time with my
family). HUMMM, it doesn't feel very nice to have your joy
stomped on, does it???? Then, my MIL called up my DH yesterday,
and started complaining about how future son-in-law's family is
meddling, and are already being demanding about the future wedding.
HUMMMM, as I recall, my MIL did the EXACT same thing with her demands
of photos on our wedding day that don't include me, and other demands.
And, so, this upcoming year, as the wedding is being planned, will
be SWEET JUSTICE for me as I sit back and watch the warped minds
of my in-laws at work - as they engage in all the same behavior
that is now annoying them. And, as my SIL comes to realize
how miserable she was towards my DH and I in the past, and WHY we
have been so distanced over the last 2 years.
Signed - Sweet Justice
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