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Mother-In-Law Stories
March 24, 2002
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One time, I told my MIL that my parents and brother (who is a doctor) had been advising me to eat reasonably, since I was nursing my 6 month old baby.  In response, she told me, "Studies have shown that even starving mothers in famines manage to produce reasonable milk for their babies."  As though milk production was my only aim in life, and as long as that was fine, everything was okay.  She not only said such a thing, but acted on it.  At that time, my husband, baby, and I were visiting a national park with her.  She would resist our attempts to go eat in restaurants.  Instead, she bought groceries and tried to keep things fresh on ice from the ice machine.  The funny thing was that we were paying for the hotel and meals.  I don't see why we had to put up with her being cheap with our money.  Often, when I visit their place, I am hungry (and grouchy), but this time I was starving.

        Signed - Starving and Nursing

RESPONSE:  Starving and Nursing
Here would be my response:  "Honestly, you didn't have to buy your own food.  You're more than welcome to eat with us!"  This should tell you never to travel with your MIL again!

My MIL has always interfered in our marriage.  My husband is very disabled, and spent 10 years in a nursing home, which is where I met him.  I was working as a nurse.  We became friends, and married 3 years ago.  We live together in an apartment, and my husband is doing great.  He left the home 6 years ago.  His mother can't stand this, and treats him like a child.  There is nothing wrong with his mind.  He never sticks up for himself.  He just lets her do whatever she wants.  Three weeks ago I became ill, and I had to go to hospital for one and a half days.  While I was there, his mum came over (because I asked her to do so).  I wanted her to make supper for my husband.  He is blind, and can't use his hand very well.  She made his supper, then she stayed overnight.  When I came home the next day, she told me that they had slept together in our bed all night.  I was appalled!  She thought it was very funny, and took great pleasure in telling me.  What made it worse was the fact that she told me in front of my DIL.  She was also shocked.  My MIL could not understand why I was upset.  My question is:  Did I overreact?  Am I wrong to tell her I want nothing more to do with her?  This is not the first time she has hurt me, but it is the worst thing up to now.  Thank you for reading this.  I feel that this has hurt my marriage, and I am also very angry with my husband, who could have slept on the sofa.

        Signed - They Had Slept Together In Our Bed All Night

RESPONSE:  They Had Slept Together In Our Bed All Night
My God in Heaven!  Your MIL is one sick puppy.  How could your DH have slept there with her (unless his physical disability kept him from being able to move - in which case your MIL is extra sick to capitalize on his disability that way)?  Have you thought of writing the same letter you posted here to "Dear Abby" and showing your DH and MIL Abby's response, which, I guarantee you, will advise professional help for MIL.  I can see how this could do a lot of damage to your marriage.  My question is:  Would DH tell his mother that he is SO ashamed of her sleeping in the same bed with him, and he is REPULSED - just VOMITING - over it???  If I were in this situation, I would insist on DH telling her this IN MY PRESENCE.  Honestly, I've read lots of stories on this site, but only one story similar to yours.  And, I can say that this is the most pathological and disturbing of them all.  I'm not saying this to make you feel worse, but to let you know that I agree with you that this is deplorable, and you have a sick MIL.  I wish you the very best, and I hope responders will give you their support too.

RESPONSE:  They Had Slept Together In Our Bed All Night
I nearly fell out of my chair when I read that your MIL had slept with her son!  That's sick and disgusting.  There was NO reason for her to do that!  She sounds very jealous of you, and is upset over the fact that her son doesn't depend on her anymore.  I would keep her at arm's length, and keep your visits short and very far apart.  Sick, sick, sick!

RESPONSE:  They Had Slept Together In Our Bed All Night
A mother sleeping in the same bed with her adult son is creepy and incestuous in the extreme, and you are not overreacting.  I know that if I were to read this story to my husband, he would shudder and start yelling, "Eeew!  Eeew!  Eeew!"  Sleeping with her adult son, indeed.


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